How Wonderful Life Is: It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To

The end of our reception was kind of an emotional roller coaster, so buckle in, hive. A little while after our little Cee Lo induced dance-fest, I looked around the reception room and realized that it was really just immediate family left. Our photographers approached us and I knew what was coming: they were leaving too. It wasn’t even 9:00 PM yet—the sun was just setting!—and our reception was basically over.

So there I was, watching the sun set on my wedding day while parents, aunts and uncles, and, of all people, my groom, tore down the day that was 12 months in the making. The music was turned off. The tablecloths were rolled up off the tables. The candles were blown out. The icicle lights were unplugged and taken down. The cake was boxed up. All of the details I had planned to perfection were gone in an instant, and we were alone in an echo-y, generic banquet room. I sunk into a chair at a table with MOH Lefty and Wizard Aunt and she asked me, “Are you sad?”

I tried to shrug it off but I could feel the dam breaking. “Yeah”¦a little”¦” That was all it took to bring on the deluge. I collapsed into Lefty’s shoulder and sobbed. It sounds so shallow and superficial and priorities-in-the-wrong-place, but let’s be real: It’s a little bit upsetting for a bride to see her wedding day disassembled around her earlier than planned. Especially because at that moment I was feeling embarrassed, wondering what I did so wrong as a host that caused the mass exeunt practically the moment guests had finished their cupcakes.

After a few good sobs I felt silly and pulled myself together, and we noticed there were fireworks going on outside that we could see over the fields at the back of the winery. The few of us who were left stood on the deck and watched the show. Before long, however, there was no denying it—our wedding day was over, and it was time to leave.

We hadn’t planned any grand send-off or sparkler exit or anything (and at that point I was glad we hadn’t, because no one was left to participate), so Mr. Wiz and I just grabbed our bags and a few odds and ends, hugged some people goodbye, and left the room hand in hand. When we got to the car—the very first moment we had truly had alone that whole day—I completely decompressed all of the emotions I’d been feeling that day (because Mr. Wiz is someone I can cry in front of, obvs). I cried most of the way to the hotel. I know you’re probably thinking I sound like a brat right now, but it wasn’t a “wah wah, no one danced at my wedding, wah wah” kind of cry. It was just too many feelings built up over the course of the day: the nerves, the stress over the weather, the extreme, soul-bursting happiness, and then the bittersweetness that it was all over. The only way it could come out was in tears. I wasn’t even really sad this time. I was just crying.

When we walked into our hotel lobby there were a few younger girls sitting at a table there. One of them caught sight of me and exclaimed loudly, “Is that a BRIDE?!” It made me laugh—a bride in the wild! We’ve spotted one!

We hastily snapped one final picture on my iPhone”¦

And with that, our wedding day was officially over.

I promised you when I started my recaps that I’d be trying to keep things real, and that’s why I wrote this post. Wedding days aren’t always completely filled with unabashed happiness. Sometimes they have crappy endings. Sometimes your guests don’t do what you expect them to do, and your plans crumble. Sometimes you cry unhappy tears. Heck, sometimes you cry and you don’t even know why you’re crying. And it’s OK. Our wedding day is still one of the best days of my life, still the happiest memories I have thus far in life, even though it ended on such a downer.

Tell me, hive: Did anyone else’s wedding day end on a less-than-happy note?

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Miss something? Follow along here!

First, I kick things off with our wedding video.
I go stir-crazy, and almost choke to death, the week before our wedding.
We had a pretty bad venue setup/rehearsal day.
I’m the bride with the weak stomach.
The crew arrives, and the ladies get pretty.
Hairstylist B accidentally shares a little secret!
Bride and groom exchange cards and a surprise gift.
Tying bow ties is a comedy of errors.
Finally, I become a bride!
All the little details.
A special lady gets a special gift.
Here comes the sun, and the bride (AKA our first look).
We took some family photos.
We processed, and got married!
An unexpected guest showed up and made themselves at home”¦right on Mr. Wiz’s head.
After the ceremony, we greeted our guests, and then headed outside for some bride and groom photo time (which was not without some shenanigans!).
The moment of truth: would our guests have water?
We ate, took photos with our guests, cut our cake, and shared our first dance as husband and wife.
The dance floor was empty, so we headed outside for a sunset photo session, and managed to fill up the dance floor for one completely random song.

*All photos personal

BLOGGER

Mrs. Wizard

Location:
Pittsburgh
Wedding Date:
June 2012
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  1. Member
    eagle 1552 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:53 am

    After our sparkler exit, I looked at my wife and said “its OVER?!” and BURST into tears. My brideman of honor was like “OMG MELTDOWN!” he didn’t know what to do, because I guess people thought I might be upset it was done. I was more overwhelmed that the whole wedding was done and I didn’t even manage to have a drink!

  2. Member
    mtnhoney 1311 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:46 am

    I hear ya! My wedding didn’t end as early as yours (we had quite the dance party until around 11:30pm) but then before I knew it, our DJ was playing our requested last song, and everyone that was left was hugging us goodbye, and then I saw the staff and our wedding party helping clean up.
    I changed into a summer dress, and got to work with them. If I could do it over again, i would have planned a grand exit while everyone was still there, and hired a clean up crew!
    but after we got all the decorations down, and things packed up, my sweetie and I then realized we had to give my one BM and her BF a ride home! so they got to snuggle and kiss in the back seat!
    once I got in the door of our apartment (oh yeah, and staying that night in a fancy hotel room would have been nice too, if we’d had the extra $$) I started laughing and crying at the same time, because I couldn’t believe it was over.
    We were both too tried for sex, but made up for it on the honeymoon (we left 2 days later)
    so you are not alone! Months, sometimes years of planning and work goes into one day, one afternoon or one evening. Then, poof. It’s over.
    but then, you’re married!!! and hopefully that keeps you happy for a loooong time. :)

  3. Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 10:54 am

    This was such a great and honest post. I feel like I might have that same bittersweet feeling once the night is truly over. Planning for almost a year and a half, something that will only last one day puts on ALOT of pressure as you said–there are these expectations I have for everything that day, including the guests. But I think over the next few months I’m going to try my hardest to manage my expectations and make sure to stay focused on the true meaning of the day–getting married to the love of my life. Only time will tell if I actually stick to that advice!

  4. Member
    girlymetalchick 16 posts, Newbee @ 11:26 am

    I already have that feeling like it’s going to be bitter-sweet, even though it’s still about 17 months away. So much effort is put into it for it to only last a few hours. I can’t imagne a bride not being upset at it being over. But the memories are what it’s all about. As long as you have those, you will be fine! :)

  5. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:31 am

    This is great! I love reading the real emotions. And I completely understand crying when you’re not even sad- it’s a release, some people don’t understand that. I’m sorry the ending wasn’t what you had planned but I’m glad it was still one of the best days of your life! :)

  6. Member
    scepter 333 posts, Helper bee @ 1:24 pm

    Love this post! I was a manic depressive person after we got back from our honeymoon. I felt like I was being a spoiled brat, but I think a lot of brides go through a “Now what?” feeling after their wedding. And props to you for watching the whole thing being broken down right in front of you – I would not have been able to watch it.

  7. Member
    pacnwbride 171 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:37 pm

    I don’t get the spoiled brat image at all. I would be bummed too that my wedding ended earlier than expected! You’re day was a whirlwind of emotions and I can’t blame you one bit for bawling – I’m sure I’ll be the same :) Love your recaps Wiz, you’re truly adorable!

  8. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 1:51 pm

    I totally cried in our hotel room! We were supposed to be all romantic in the hot tub with champagne but I was just SO overwhelmed and needed to debrief the day (not like that! ;) ). I was also sick so I was kind of a snotty mess.

    I think it’s normal and probably the more often occurring thing to have conflicting emotions post-wedding. People just don’t talk about it that much.

  9. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 1:52 pm

    (that being said I gleefully tossed a bunch of wedding junk the next day!)

  10. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 2:00 pm

    Awwwww, Mrs Wizard!!! I know so many brides who have cried after it was over. My friend Amanda was sobbing in her hotel room, asking us not to leave!! Weddings are events that are SO built up for MONTHS, and then bam! Over. I am going to be a disaster!!!
    I’m so sorry guests left a little early. You did NOTHING wrong!

  11. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 2:00 pm

    …and I’m glad you actually present a real side of weddings. So refreshing.

  12. Member
    glimmeringone 281 posts, Helper bee @ 2:20 pm

    I’ve love your story so far (especially the face spider) and totally understand the sads and the release of emotion. Thanks for sharing your stories!

  13. Member
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 3:33 pm

    thanks for being honest! it’s weird how crying is the response to so many emotions – i cant tell you how many times wolfmans asked me why im crying and i have no idea what the answer is!

  14. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:48 pm

    I’m sorry the end was so anticlimactic, thank you for sharing it with us though. It’s so honest, and it’s reassuring to know that stuff happens in real life. I think our wedding will end similarly, and I’m not completely sure how to react to that yet

  15. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 9:25 am

    I do remember about an hour till the end of the reception looking around the room and feeling like it was so empty. Of course my close friends and family, as well as the photographer, stayed till the end we were scheduled for. It wasn’t near as big as your letdown, but I was a little surprised people weren’t partying till the very end.

  16. Member
    brooklyn55 743 posts, Busy bee @ 10:13 am

    My wedding is in 3 months and I have already started getting emotional about it being over.. As stressful as the wedding planning can be and as happy as I am to marry my FI, I am really sad that in 3 months all the planning will end and the day will simply be over. I was telling my FI just last night that I sad I only got one day and then I never get to do this again. He was really sweet though and said we can do as many vow renewals as I want.. which is sweet for him because he is dreading the wedding because he hates being the center of attention and even though I plan on doing a vow renewal at least at 10 years, you only get ONE wedding and I am super sad it is approaching so fast (especially because after our wedding, my brother in law and his FI will be getting full into our wedding planning as they are getting married labor day weekend).

  17. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:17 pm

    Oh, I know what you mean. Our last song played. I looked around the room and saw menus, decor, all my hard work being picked up to be tossed. And… I guess I looked bewildered. Our catering manager walked over asked if I was ok and told me she already sent my Aunt away with two of everything for keepsakes. Then she had a table for our closest remaining friends. We sat, laughed and drank a beer. I was wearing my dress our friends also looking fabulous but it was perfect. I still didn’t want it to end but looking back all I really wanted were those quiet moments to really cherish with the best of our wonderful friends. I got that and a few cell pics which I love.

  18. Member
    camel 703 posts, Busy bee @ 9:23 am

    Your post has made me think a lot about how I will feel after the wedding. I’d hate to be someone who dwells on what went wrong instead of what went right, but it’s hard not to when you spend so much time, energy, and emotion putting together an already emotionally charged day. I think for me, the big tear-inducer will be realizing that I will never see that group of people together in one room again for the rest of my life.

  19. Member
    coyote 1565 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:30 am

    Ohhh Wizard thank you so much for sharing this post. I completely understand!! Let’s just forget the fact that I actually cried ALL DAY on our wedding day and fast forward to the end of the night. We had the most amazing day, we were back in the hotel room, Mr. C somehow got me out of that giant dress and what do I do?! I start SOBBING! I was so overwhelmed and I couldn’t believe that in the blink of an eye the wedding was OVER. I was happy, I was sad… I didn’t know what I was feeling!

    As a complete aside, I absolutely love that last photo of you two. Even if your day didn’t end as you expected you both look amazing and so happy in that photo!! I love it!

  20. Member
    lovelyduckie 756 posts, Busy bee @ 11:26 am

    I’m bracing myself for a similar situation of the night ending sooner than I’d like, I have so little faith that this will be an event that lasts later that deciding to have any dance floor/dj at all was a decision I only just made. Originally I was thinking just dinner and talking with no dancing, I’m still a tad conflicted about deciding to ad on dancing…the wedding is small-ish and a lot of the guests are older, we’re not going to have a young party scene that’s for sure.

  21. Member
    cosmo_gmr 946 posts, Busy bee @ 4:38 pm

    I know how you feel! Not being a Bride anymore, no more planning… since it takes such a big part of your life for so many months, years even, it’s hard when it’s over.

    I don’t knwo if you’re a Friends fan, but when Monica and Chandler got married she said something about being “just someone’s wife” LOL.

    About the dancing at your wedding, I had a similar situation… My guests did dance a lot but I was expecting a little more crazy fun and pics… oh well. The worst part about my guests was that a lot of them didn’t show up! :( I had limited budget and decided on inviting some people over other and they didn’t go! That still hurts a bit sometimes.

    Anyway, they are not the important thing at the end of the day :)

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