OK, you guys. I’m all about traditions—I love them. I love making new ones and having old ones that I can rely on. I love seeing all the different traditions people choose to incorporate into their weddings. But from day one, there was one tradition I knew I would be modifying—the garter toss.
See, I love this part:
Image via Lover.ly / Photo by B.Wright Photography
And I hate this part:
Image via Lover.ly / Photo by Apple Moon Photography
Hate is a strong word. I know. And I know some people LOVE this tradition. Heck, I love this photo—I think it’s hysterical. But the idea of Mr. O with his head up my dress in front of all our family and friends? In front of my father? Let’s be real—HELL. NO. I’m sorry, but just no.
But I love the toss. And I’m tossing flowers. So while we’re not skipping this tradition, we are modifying it. Instead of him removing my garter (and probably making me cry of embarrassment), there will be one wrapped around my toss bouquet, just waiting to be thrown into the crowd. I’ll also be wearing one under my dress. Because, like I said, I love the tradition, just not the removal.
So we’re taking a hard pass* on that one, but still incorporating part of the tradition in our big day. I think that’s a good compromise. 
What traditions did you choose to skip on your big day? If you did the garter removal, did you have any qualms about it like I do?
*Anybody catch that movie reference!?
We’re skipping the garter toss and bouquet toss. Sooo embarrassing, IMO. Especially the bit about it being in front of my dad. And mom. And grandparents. And all 4 of my younger sisters. Not cool!
Instead of the bouquet toss, I am either going to privately give the bouquet to my MOH (younger sister) at dinner, or to my grandmother.
We’re doing bouquet toss because all but 2 of our under 30yrold female guests are single and will fight tooth and nail for it, lol. FI had no interest in the garter toss, I could care less about it, I feel like men aren’t as interested in it in general, so I was willing to do w/e he wanted, and he was a firm no. I just figured “great, one less thing to buy and one less thing to take up valuable dancing time during the reception” lol
Pitch Perfect! One of my favorites. Also, I don’t blame you in regards to your husband going up your dress in public! My thoughts exactly and I like the modification. I may go that route as well.
OMG…I can totally relate. The idea of the garter removal mortifies me. I’m currently planning my wedding which is coming up in MAY, and that was one thing I absolutely will not have – and that is my FI head in my dress in front of his parents, my little sisters, friends, and my extremely STRICT mother. Personally, I myself just don’t like the garter removal tradition plain and simple. And when I saw for the first time at my FI’s cousin who got married last year (I haven’t been to alot of weddings), my jaw just dropped. Oh hell..NO that is not going to happen at my wedding. I told my FI that I’m firm on that. I wasn’t sure what to do in place of that tradition, but the idea of the garter on the bouquet is a wonderful idea. I may just do that or just opt out of doing a garter anything, entirely and just do a bouqet toss. I’d love to hear other ideas on what others here on the Bee will/would or have done as an alternative to the garter removal. Anyone else would like to make any suggestions? It would really help me out a lot. Thanks! 
I’m with you 100% on the embarrassment factor for the garter. We nixed it. What a great idea to put it on the toss bouquet, though! Wish I could go back in time and nab that idea from you at my own wedding.
I figured the bouquet toss, at least, would be embarrassment-free, but somehow managed to embarrass myself anyway by hitting myself in the head.
Also skipping the garter removal! No way would I (or he) be comfortable doing that in front of everyone. We might also skip doing a first dance… neither of us are publicly touchy-feely like that.
I’ve never actually seen anyone in person stick his head up the bride’s dress to get the garter. Every wedding I’ve ever been to has had the bride lift her dress up to just above her knee, and the groom removes it. Nothing raunchy or vulgar.
My fiance is trying to convince me to do this as he thinks it’s an Irish tradition that cant be nixed. I am Puerto Rican and we do this tradition too, but to do it in front of my grandmother and father (not to mention his family who barely knows me!)? No, I will not sustain voluntary embarrassment, no matter how upset fiance gets.
We’re skipping the garter too! I don’t mind the throwing, but the idea of my new husband going up my skirt in front of our family, including his sweet elderly grandmother? PASS. It seems so tacky and not for me.
My cousin had some small fake bouquets made to throw instead of tossing her beautiful real one, something which I’ll be copying for mine, since I’m having my grandmother’s rosary wrapped around my bouquet.
I AGREE! i’d be mortified to have my husband up my dress in front of my dad and grandparents. no thanks!
I love your version of the toss! I might have to steal that idea (if my FI even wants to do the toss, hasn’t decided).
That part of the tradition really makes me uncomfortable too, especially because people were cheering my husband to remove it with his teeth and I am incredibly ticklish.
I think the internet and over the top pictures like the one you posted present this tradition in a screwed way. It’s been done for decades, and I’m pretty certain (having talked to older relatives about their weddings) that it did NOT involve sticking a head underneath a dress!
We did the garter toss with Mr. B just gracefully removing the garter with his hands (not much exposed leg or anything) and then throwing it to the waiting bachelors. Done. And decent.
Just as an afterthought à la APW: Maybe the change in how people remove the garter has to do with a change in the mode of weddings – from “community celebrating a new marriage” to “it’s MY party”?
We’re skipping the tosses altogether because just about everyone we’re inviting is already married. There would be no one up there to throw anything to!!
We didn’t ‘skip’ the removal of the garter, but DH definitely didn’t go under my dress. We lifted the skirt of my dress up enough for me to slide the garter down to my knee, and he took it off from there. That way, no embarrasment and still the fun of ‘taking the garter off’.:)
We did it and he pulled other things from under my dress including rubber ducks, breath spray, and handcuffs. He didn’t stick his head up my dress but under the chair for the non garter items. The garter he removed with his hands. Wasn’t raunchy.
Although I definitely think there are tasteful ways to do the garter removal, I have to say the say the way it was done at my cousin’s wedding thoroughly confirmed our decision to skip this tradition. The groom was blindfolded and had his hands tied behind his back, so he had to reach under with his teeth with his friends egging him on. Made many of the guests uncomfortable, actually. We actually didn’t toss the bouquet either, but that was mostly due to the makeup of singles that were in attendance- I’m pretty sure the specific ladies in attendance would not have enjoyed this spotlight on their singledom, if that makes sense.
Mrs. Otter, Indianapolis, IN Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Social Media Consultant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, CVS Shift Supervisor Engagement Date: November 11, 2011 Wedding Date: April 2013 Venue: Mustard Seed Gardens About Me: I'm a born and raised Hoosier girl, but a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. I have a tendency to take too many photos and spend full days having TV marathons. Mr. Otter and I met in high school, started dating a couple years later, and moved in after a month of being official. He is easygoing and makes plans on a whim, while I'm color coordinating my planner and organizing everything in sight. He hates glitter, but it's my favorite thing. I have tattoos and he still won't get one, despite my attempts to convince him. We're planning a small, rustic, and (hopefully!) peony-filled wedding to get our married life started. (And yes, there will be glitter involved!)
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