Two Wheels Become One: The Fun Captions Game

As soon as we walked back up the aisle, we beelined (see what I did there?) to the elevator. The plan was to usher the wedding party, parents, and grandparents into the church basement while our guests filed out of the church so we could sneak back in to take our photos at the altar after everyone had left. A couple guests tried to congratulate me in the vestibule, but they were rudely rebuffed. I was all “Bitch, please. I have wedding pictures to take!”

elevato

Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

We waited down there for a little while, hugging our new family members…

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

…and soaking in the fact that we were actually married. It was quite the roller coaster of emotions.

faces

Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

I went from “Wut” to content to contemplative to elated.

And my personal favorite, the “Come here and get in my van, kids! I’ve got candy!”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Doesn’t this face give you nightmares? I’ll be honest, it keeps me up at night.

When the coast was clear upstairs, we headed to the altar to pose in every permutation of family members imaginable. I’ll spare you the boring series of family portraits; instead, we’ll play the fun captions game.

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My dad: “I could use a Bud Light right about now.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Mr. Unicycle: “I don’t think my new wife is strong enough to support the weight of these fake flowers on her own.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My mom: “I looked pretty good in that last photo.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My in-laws: “Just wait till you see our photos. We look good.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My in-laws: “Exhibit A.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

MIL: “Seriously, we look phresh to death from all angles.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

FIL: “Damn straight.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My dad: “Damn. They really are f***ing photogenic sons of b****es.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Me: “Get your hands off my hiney!”

My dad: “Heineken? Where?”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

The candle behind us: “I never knew my father.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My grandma: “I’d like to try riding a unicycle one day.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My flowers: “I wish we weren’t fake like Britney Spears’s boobs.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My little bro (behind me): “Seriously, who farted?”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My BIL: “I have farted recently, but I don’t think that one was me.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Me: “Oops.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Mr. Unicycle: “I like turtles.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My SIL: “I don’t even know these people.”

Then we went outside to take some photos on the front steps of the church.

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Everyone: “Where are my sunglasses?”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My brother (in back): “Sorry for party rocking.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My veil: “Get me the eff out of here.”

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My bro: “I also apologize for party rocking.”

And that’s when I saw the limo for the first time! I was so relieved that it actually bothered itself to show up to pick us up from the church.

limo

Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

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Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

The limo took us and the wedding party to another location to take more photos. During the ride over, I gorged myself on potato chips and a chocolate-covered granola bar (really not a smart choice to keep something chocolate-covered in a car in June and then feed it to someone in a white dress). Our peeps drank champagne, beer, and whiskey as fast as they could (the drive wasn’t really that long), and we jammed out to some Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg. At one point I rolled the window down and attempted to ask a fellow traveler for some Grey Poupon. In other words, general debauchery and hilarity ensued.

Are you squeezing all your photos in after the ceremony too?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Unicycle

Location:
Chicago, IL
Wedding Date:
June 2012

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comments

  1. Guest Icon Guest
    rebecca, Guest @ 12:43 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAH!!! OMG I have never read through a post like this people it’s super boring. “This is my mom and me….This is my side of the family…blah blah”

    Your captions are HILARIOUS. LOVE your sense of humor.

  2. Member
    josina 687 posts, Busy bee @ 12:43 pm

    OMG, you are hilarious. :) Love reading your posts.

  3. Member
    candy apple 1877 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:49 pm

    “My brother (in back): “Sorry for party rocking.””

    I just died.

  4. Member
    genie 723 posts, Busy bee @ 12:50 pm

    Uni, thank you for providing 10 minutes of hilarity on this Monday. You are the best!

  5. Member
    seabeeny 68 posts, Worker bee @ 1:10 pm

    Mrs. Unicycle, you crack me up! I love your recaps.

  6. Member
    Almost Mrs.P 2056 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:35 pm

    I love your posts! The captions are great.

  7. Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 1:38 pm

    Bahahahaha. This was incredible. (Also, the last picture is to die for.)

  8. Member
    beanstalk 770 posts, Busy bee @ 2:32 pm

    Great captions AND of course, great family photos!

  9. Member
    mrsjjc 246 posts, Helper bee @ 2:45 pm

    I’ve never even glanced at one of these formal photos recaps before… but this was awesome. Love the captions!

  10. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 2:55 pm

    I love that the candle and your flowers had their own captions.

  11. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 3:09 pm

    This is hilarious!

  12. Member
    notbridey 720 posts, Busy bee @ 4:38 pm

    This is amazing!!! :)

  13. Member
    debeachgirl 742 posts, Busy bee @ 5:04 pm

    Best formal picture post ever! I love the captions.

  14. Member
    ecjohnson 141 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:39 pm

    Awesome! love the captions!

  15. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:34 pm

    love the captions. you are hilarious.

  16. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:59 pm

    Yes. This was so fun to read! Can I steal this idea? :)

  17. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 8:58 pm

    Best. Captions. EVER. That is all.

  18. Member
    unicycle 476 posts, Helper bee @ 6:35 am

    haha thanks everybody. @Miss Sword: yes, steal away! :)

  19. Member
    paw 871 posts, Busy bee @ 7:06 am

    Amazing post and photos!

  20. Member
    mswallaby 2063 posts, Buzzing bee @ 7:35 am

    Bahaha. I love that you asked for Grey Poupon :)
    We played the same Dre/Snoop song at our reception, our music taste generally revolving around 90s rap music. Love it, and hoping you share your reception playlist :)

  21. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 12:00 pm

    I super love that you asked for Grey Poupon and jammed to Dre/Snoop. Hilarious. Also, I know it’s been said, but I love how well you rock the red lip. Seriously.

  22. Member
    ladymegbeth 227 posts, Helper bee @ 12:50 pm

    OMG, you are hysterical! I actually LOL’d. LOLed? Whatever. My coworkers think I’m crazed, either way…

  23. Member
    mzjynxie 776 posts, Busy bee @ 2:32 pm

    You rock woman, you party rock!

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