Gray Wolf Guest Breakdown

I always love these posts from other bees, so I figured I’d give you a glimpse into our guest list and RSVP breakdown.

For the ceremony, our venue holds 100 at the absolute maximum. We knew we would get some declines, but we didn’t want to risk too much. Save some of my side of the family, we didn’t invite any “peripherals”—you know, the second cousins you never see, or old college classmates—and there’s not much else going on in February, so we were fairly confident that most people would be able to make it. We ended up inviting 108:


Whoops. I didn’t realize how skewed this was until I looked at it in a nice chart fashion.


As you can see, our wedding is definitely “friend-heavy.” I have a big immediate family, but we’re not especially close with my extended family, whereas Wolfman’s family is a little on the smaller side. We also both brought a good sized friend group to the relationship, and we’ve kept up those friendships during our dating.

The full breakdown:


To give myself some leeway here, I extended invites to aunts and uncles I haven’t seen in years that we were fairly confident wouldn’t make it. Turns out that hunch was right, and our actual RSVP list is much more balanced with 89:


A bit more balanced!


Still super friend heavy. Final breakdown:


We were aiming/hoping for about 85 and landed a bit above that, but still fine for our venue’s capacity. For the longest time I also forgot to add us to the total—don’t forget that you’re going to your own wedding!

How are your numbers shaping up? Any surprises or did you get the RSVPs you thought you would?


Mrs. Gray Wolf

Washington DC
Wedding Date:
February 2013
Armadillo Invitation Reveal
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  1. Member
    ledelady 210 posts, Helper bee @ 2:03 pm

    Just had to say thank you for writing the last bit about including yourselves in your wedding. Completely forgot to add FI and I into the head count. Oops!

  2. Member
    cheetah2b 525 posts, Busy bee @ 2:12 pm


    LOL, I kept forgetting to include me and FH, and our kids! Imagine that! meeting capacity, then realizing there’s no room for US!!!


    Thanks wolf. This is a great break down. I think we’re about balanced, but I’m not sure. What program did you use? We don’t have any graph/spread sheet stuff on the computer. they are only used for gaming and photo, so we freed up memory by deleting pretty much everything except word and notepad lol…

  3. graywolf Member
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 2:17 pm

    @cheetah2b: i used excel! it sadly took me awhile (english major over here) but it was easy once i figured it out…

  4. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 3:07 pm

    Nice charts!!! Wow, only 11 family members from his side?
    I invited 138, absolute maximum at our venue is 126. BUT literally 80% of FI’s side lives faaaar away (we’re talking plane rides). We are hoping some of them decline, as I would like 120! Most of my invites are older family friends also :(

  5. Member
    babbot 586 posts, Busy bee @ 3:46 pm

    wow, that is very interesting. I am always curious to see invites vs who showed up (also rsvp’s vs who shows) (sigh)

  6. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 4:51 pm

    I was a bit worried about my side of the guest list being bigger than the Mr.’s, but that is because we extended some invites to some extended family on my dad’s side, however on the actual wedding the numbers were fairly balanced.

  7. potion Member
    potion 223 posts, Helper bee @ 4:53 pm

    @cheetah2b: You can use Google Docs on the interwebs fo’ free- I don’t have any sort of word processor / spreadsheet / presentation software on my computer, either, because I didn’t feel like buying any, so I use Le Goog for EVERYTHING.

    We were way more skewed towards family in our invite list- and way more skewed towards my side. As in, the majority of our guests were my family :/ But I have a huge family, so it makes sense.

  8. camel Member
    camel 703 posts, Busy bee @ 4:59 pm

    I think our guest list will be a bit more friend-heavy as well, and honestly I like that best! I’m not super close to my extended family either.

  9. Member
    joolybee 564 posts, Busy bee @ 5:29 pm

    Thank you for sharing your break down so thoroughly. It has definitely given me confidence in my planning so far…I have the list but the invitations do not go out until May.

  10. Member
    ecjohnson 157 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:58 pm

    worked on our guest list this weekend, my dad wanted to get it down but he ended up adding people to the total. we’re at 175 definite invites with an additional 15 or so that are on the maybe list.

  11. Member
    brooklyn55 743 posts, Busy bee @ 9:13 pm

    We struggled with guest list so much!! I have a huge extended family and I am super close with all of them. My FI isn’t close with his extended family (we invited them, knowing they wouldn’t come.. they live in Washington state and Oregon.. We live in NC) but he has a large immediate family (because his parents are divorced and remarried and he has step-parents, siblings, half siblings). We ultimately didn’t get to invite ALL the friends we would have liked because we couldn’t add anymore people. We are inviting 186 (but expect and hope) that only 150 will attend. Of invited it breaks down 56 my family (all expected to attend), 22 my family friends (18/22 expected to attend), 26 my friends (all expected to attend), 32 his family (16/32 expected to attend), 24 family friends (16/24 expected to attend), 26 friends (22/26 expected to attend). It is fairly even 104-82 invites but expected show ups is very skewed (100-54).

  12. Member
    lstyle25 567 posts, Busy bee @ 11:14 pm

    I had wanted to select a certain number of people since
    Our ceremony site also only holds 100 and our invite list is at 150 now and did a post here on the weddingbee.. Majority said it is rude not to invite everyone and that itd be a tiered wedding and that this and that:.. I am glad to see bees that are doing this, makes me feel like i could still do the same as well..thanks for sharing!

  13. mswallaby Member
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:59 am

    I love these posts, it’s always interesting to see how the final numbers stack up! Our final numbers were similar percentage-wise, except the guest list was heavier on Mr. W’s side (since they’re all locals, whereas almost all of my friends and family were out-of-towners).

  14. Member
    veggie_rachel 575 posts, Busy bee @ 9:20 am

    I think our count will be pretty friend heavy too, but that’s not a bad thing! Mr. Veggie’s family is super huge though, so it’ll balance out that most of my list is friends (I only anticipate my family to be my parents and sister).

  15. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 11:35 am

    I’m so impressed with how close you guys were able to come for your hoped-for number! That’s awesome and will make for a great intimate wedding.

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