Alternative title: How to Get Out of Going Dress Shopping
I’m pretty sure most of you won’t be able to relate to this post, but if you can, I hope it is encouraging to you that not everyone looks forward to the dress shopping experience. And if you’re a bride who loved going to stores and trying on dresses, that’s awesome! It just wasn’t for me.
Because most brides do look forward to dress shopping, right? It’s often one of the most anticipated and biggest events of the wedding planning process. For various reasons, this was not how I felt—from the very beginning. In fact, the idea of going shopping with a group of females and trying on dresses was pretty terrifying. I’m fairly small, so I was afraid that dresses would look huge and unflattering on me…and I’m also working with a pretty small budget, so I was worried about finding a dress in my price range. I’m also just not a shopper. I buy a lot of clothes online and in thrift stores and generally avoid high end stores and fancy dressing rooms.
(Again, this whole post is the way I feel about wedding dress shopping-probably not the experience of most!)
After the newly engaged period was over, I immediately turned to looking at dresses online. One of the first places where I looked was J. CREW, for three reasons.
1. J. CREW has the kind of simple understated elegance I was looking for in a wedding dress.
2. The prices weren’t more than my entire budget combined.
3. I know my size from J. CREW, which meant I could order online and not worry about it fitting.
I had several favorites.
Images via J. CREW Wedding clockwise from top left: Bettina, Sararose, Sophia, Sinclair, Lyden, & Larissa
You probably notice a theme in the dresses above. First of all, they’re straight and simple. I want to wear a dress that reflects my everyday personality. A lot of people say that you don’t know what kind of dress you want until you try it on, but based on dresses I’ve chosen (or vehemently discarded) for other formal events, I am 100% confident a poofy dress is not for me. Second, none of these dresses are strapless, both because of comfort and family reasons. Third, all of these dresses are under $1000 (in some cases under $500).
I think all of these are beautiful! In fact, I probably would wear any of the dresses above. I did have a preference from the beginning. Mr. Lemur vetoed some of them—yes, he’s seen my dress and actually helped me pick it out. Nontraditional, I know!
I started looking around online to see if I could find any of them even cheaper. I highly recommend this, even if you think your dress is a bargain already. There are some great resale and discount sites out there (more on this in the next post).
Which dress do you like the most? Any other brides out there go an nontraditional route and skip the bridal salon experience?
I have to admit that I’ve had mixed feelings about the whole wedding dress shopping experience. I recently lost over 80 pounds, so I’ve been enjoying clothes shopping a lot more lately, but the “salon experience” is just a little weird. I don’t like having someone “help” me get dressed and undressed. I feel very critiqued on the podium and I tend to love the dresses but then hate them in the pictures later. It is stressful and I’ll be glad when its over.
I went with the Arabelle dress through J.Crew! I actually still went to a bridal salon to satisfy BM’s, Mom and MIL. I felt like all of the traditional dresses “swallowed” me. When my J.Crew dress arrived, I tried it on and it was PERFECT. I feel like on my wedding day it was more of “wow, the bride!” then it was “wow, the dress!”… and that was what I wanted. I couldn’t fathom spending thousands on a dress I’ll wear once (mine was $500 on sale). Another plus, I’m going to get it cut down and wear it with a jean jacket throughout the summer and on our anniversary!!
I’d pick Larissa. I like the straps and shape of revealed cleavage.
@BrideLawyer: First of all, congratulations on losing 80 pounds! But yes, the feelings you mention about the salon experience was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I’m more of an introvert, so having the thought of a group of women staring at me was actually a huge stress before I made the decision to buy a dress online.
I really wish I could buy online, it’s so much easier and less stressful. But I always fall right between two sizes, so even if it’s a store I shop at frequently picking a size is still a bit f a risk.
@AMacwayko: I SO want to do this! (Cut my dress down and wear it again.) Have you thought about dyeing it? I’ve heard some people have good luck dyeing it… my dress (and the Arabelle) both look great and totally casual short and/or in different colors.
Yep, I bought mine off a local facebook wedding items for sale site. New with tags for $60, lol. I love it, it isn’t my dream dress, but I wasn’t shelling out $8,000 for a dress!
@Kit_Kath: Even with knowing my size I ran a bit of a risk. Fortunately the return policy on the dress was within thirty days a full refund — although I would have to pay return shipping. I’m not sure I would have bought it online without knowing I wasn’t totally out what I paid for it if it didn’t fit.
@Charly: I’ve been thinking about this too. My dress (which we’ll get to eventually after we catch up on some posts) ended up being $160 new with tags. I love it, but you’re right it’s not my dream dress either! I made the decision and decided to commit to it 100% though and I haven’t looked back or regretted it at all!
I felt the same way about going dress shopping. I had everyone else whos involved in the wedding outfits picked out before I went shopping. The only reason I did was because my family made me. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention anf felt everyone was watching anf judging.
I bought the Sophia in silk chiffon online, on sale (though I could have got it cheaper, I think). I think I spent $40-ish on alterations. I kind of feel a twinge of envy still when I think about what I may have missed out on, but I did love my dress!
I’m with you all the way on this post! I’m also glad someone else feels this way. I was engaged 10 years ago (I’m 37) and it didn’t work out. During that time I found a dress at a sample sale buy a designer that I loved. Its been traveling around with me these years. I’d stick it in an unused closet and forget about it. When Mr. C and I got engaged I tentatively started looking at dresses online, felt unsure about all of them, then remembered i had one that I could have altered to fit me in the closet. Its a pretty straight forward a frame silk dress, minimal on the bead work. I might find some other way to make it more me along the next 18 months also, but I’m happy with avoiding having to go into those shops.
@futuremrshockey: Writing this post may have been a little selfish of me because I am really encouraged by people who understand! The one thing I do regret is not going dress shopping with my mom—I think she would have liked to.
@Mrs. Dragon: Can I ask approximately how much you spent? If you don’t want to share that’s ok!
@jilleeann: The thing that’s really awesome about having a simple silk dress is that you can make it yours. I’m still trying to decide what I want to do with mine, but the possibilities are endless! Jewelry, fancy veil, bright shoes, sash, flowers, etc.
Congratulations on your engagement by the way 
I’m glad things finally worked out for you!
I love JCrew dresses, the quality and prices can’t be beat! I knew what I wanted in a dress too, and it was exactly what I bought, sometimes you don’t need to try on hundreds of dresses to find the right one can’t wait to see your choice!
@Miss Lemur: I have thought about dying it! I want to keep it white until my anniversary in August. Then, my sister is having a destination wedding in January 2014 which I am a BM so I will l dye it to her colour and wear it to her wedding (we are picking our own dresses).
@Kit_Kath: I fell between 4 and 6 with the J.Crew dresses. I ordered the 4, then returned it and got a 6. I am a 5. My mom stitched in the inner corset a bit and Voila. It fit, and no $300 alternation bill.
@BrideLawyer: I also like Larissa gown!!
I skipped it too, bought my dress online from another bride. It was the first and only dress I had to try on.
Mrs. Lemur, Greenville, South Carolina Age and Occupation: 22, Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Security Officer Engagement Date: October 9, 2012 Wedding Date: May 2013 Venue: Pleasant Ridge Camp & Retreat Center About Me: I may fancy myself a doctor after too many episodes of House—but in reality I'm finally almost done with my degree in business administration (less than three months left!). My fiance and I met at school in undergrad hundreds of miles away from either of our hometowns and have been happily running and hiking together ever since. We're undertaking a long distance relationship as I finish school and we plan our casual wedding for a day after graduation—needless to say, it will be the busiest and most exciting weekend of our lives so far!
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