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Mrs. Wallaby, Houston Age and Occupation: 24, Environmental Engineer Engagement Date: January 1, 2012 Wedding Date: November 2012 Venue: Oak Tree Manor About Me: I'm a free-spirited, adventurous girl who loves anything active, reading, traveling, cooking up new dishes for my fiancé, and working on my budding garden. My fiancé is an athletic, intellectual, animal-loving guy with an obsession with basketball and who treats me with the deepest compassion and respect. We are both engineers, and we met at our workplace. Together we complement one another and make a great team, and we are excitedly counting down the days until our outdoor wedding in Houston in November. We're planning a green wedding with lots of Persian cultural touches, and I can't wait to share all of the before-and-after details of our special day
About Mrs. Wallaby

Newlywed Life: Letting Yourself Go

January 28th, 2013 @ 2:51 pm by Mrs. Wallaby

There is so much advice out there about planning a wedding. Checklists, planning websites, binders, TV shows…And so many magazines and blogs put pressure on women to be perfect blushing brides. Many girls I know have successfully lost weight before their weddings. I’ve even seen a couple Groupons for “bridal bootcamp.” But what about after the wedding? All of a sudden, there’s no pressure to fit into a little white dress, to have dazzling white teeth for photos or to stop biting your nails.

So here’s my deep, dark, reluctant confession: since our wedding, I’ve kind of let myself go. I used to go to a boot camp with a couple friends three times a week, I went for jogs periodically with Mr. W, I stayed active in whatever way I could. I stayed fit. I didn’t lose much weight before our wedding (except for eight pounds I lost the week of the wedding from stress…and subsequently gained back on our honeymoon and over the holidays ;) ). But I stayed really healthy, because I did care about looking good. Call me superficial, but I wanted to look good for the relatives I haven’t seen in 10 years, and for Mr. W’s family members who I’ve never met before. I wanted to look hawt in all of our wedding photos, and feel great on our big day.

Yet ever since we got back from Australia, I haven’t summoned the motivation to work out. Since my old apartment had a small fitness room, I did join a gym when I moved in with Mr. W the week of the wedding. But I’ve only been there twice. Twice in two months. When Mr. W heads out for a game of basketball at the gym, I always have an excuse. Thank you cards. Skype catch-up sessions with my BFFs from Seattle. Housework. Blogging for Weddingbee ;) .

And my eating habits have changed too. Even though I saw Mr. W pretty much every single day, I would first go home to my apartment every day to change and unwind for a bit. I would occasionally snack on some fat-free popcorn or eat a bowl of cereal if I was starving after work, but I didn’t snack that much. Mr. W, on the other hand, is a chronic snacker. As soon as he gets home from work, he has a bag of chips in his hand. He plays a ton of basketball, his job is fairly active, and his 6’2″ frame can handle it. But now that we’re roomies, it’s been a novelty coming home to him. After a long day at work, I love to cozy up with him on the couch while eating a snack and watching reruns of Friends and Modern Family. I love that time of the day. But I’m suddenly evolving into a couch potato for the first time in my life, and honestly, I’m not that happy with my body. I also feel lower on energy—probably from eating snacks, and from not getting the endorphin release of a good workout.

Also, can I make one more confession? I haven’t shaved my legs in almost two weeks. WTH? It is winter, to be fair, but when I noticed how much I desperately need to shave yesterday, I think I hit rock bottom. My sweet hubby hasn’t commented on it, but I think it’s a personal record for longest time without shaving, other than the time I broke my leg my freshman year of high school and it was in a cast.

I’m about to get back on track. I’m renewing my boot camp membership, and I’m going to be out there tomorrow night rain or shine. I already know that it’s going to hurt but that’s OK. Because hive, I desperately want to be that hot MILF. (Well, there are no Walla-babies on the horizon for a few years, so for now I’ll settle to be a WILF.) I want to develop healthy eating habits now rather than later when my metabolism slows down. I want to be a fit, healthy mom who runs and keeps up with her kids. (My doctor and his wife run marathons with their seven kids. It’s crazy. They should probably be on a sitcom or reality TV show.) I don’t want to develop the heart problems and diabetes that run in my family. I want to be like our sweet family friend who’s in her late 80s and still rides a bicycle everywhere.

Mr. W and I are riding in the MS150 bike ride from Houston to Austin for the third time this year, so all of the spin classes and bike rides will hopefully revive my quads and hamstrings. And we’re going to start training for a marathon—I’ve found that I’m most motivated if I have a goal (like a wedding…) in mind. I think a little shopping trip to Lululemon this weekend might be the icing on the cake to get back into my workout routine. (Ooops. Shouldn’t be talking about cakes. Now I’m hungry.)

Sorry. I’ll get back to my recaps. But I just needed a little positive encouragement to get my ass in shape.

Did you find yourself letting yourself go after your wedding? Anyone have advice for avoiding the Newlywed Nine?

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32 Responses to “Newlywed Life: Letting Yourself Go”

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1.
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Member
GinaDoll149 (message)  3 posts, Wannabee

I am not even married yet, but we’ve lived together for over a year so far.

I have developed the same problems as you. I’ve finally started to push myself. I get most of my exercising done when he’s not home (mostly jogging around the neighborhood) and during Thursdays and Fridays I start planning hikes for the weekend.

Just make a plan and stick to it. Remember that you’ll feel better after it’s over!

Best of luck!

 
2.
This Time Round
Member
This Time Round (message)  5,284 posts, Bee Keeper

Don’t beat yourself up about this too much.

Statistically it is the norm what is happening to you… Newlywed women typically gain some weight, and Newlywed men lose some. It comes down to cohabitating, “exchanging” each other’s living habits… Good & Bad (you pick up his junk food… he eats healthier with 3 Square Meals a day etc)… and oh ya just the effect of being HAPPY and “comfortable” with each other.

The good news is, most couples do find a healthy middle ground in the long term.

Being aware is half the battle.

Hope this helps,

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Bracelet (message)  1,111 posts, Bumble bee

I was startled to discover the weight I gained when I had access to a scale over Christmas. It’s not that I’ve let myself go or that I’ve changed my eating habits since living with Mr. B….. it’s changing countries and thereby pace of living!
Seriously, I got so much default activity in Germany from walking around the city, biking to school, and an occasional soccer match. Now? I need the car to get anywhere here in Montana. I didn’t consider the huge impact this would have on my life (DUH!)… so I’ve joined a gym to compensate. Let’s hope I’ll get back to normal soon.

 
4.
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Bee
Mrs. Bracelet (message)  1,111 posts, Bumble bee

Oh, and thank you for sharing and putting yourself out there. I’m sure this will be a very interesting discussion.

 
5.
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Member
Mrs.HMBucks (message)  92 posts, Worker bee

TOTALLY! This is good – for me – to hear! Not so fun for you I know but v. encouraging. I think the thing is that I accidently crash-dieted the week before our wedding. I was so stressed/busy. I was going to bed nights without eating supper because I was just so exhausted. I lost about a stone in a week! Seriously. But of course as soon as wedding is over you relax, honeymoon, stop working out with a ‘goal’ as you say. And because I crash dieted I put it all back on and more. I think i’m now the heaviest i’ve ever been and my clothes don’t fit! It’s demoralising. I’ve really been trying lately to shift it but I have to say it’s hard…. :( Good to know i’m not alone anyhow..

 
6.
Miss Mauverick
Member
Miss Mauverick (message)  1,000 posts, Bumble bee

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the long-term benefits of regular exercise, so it’s nice to work toward the immediate pay-off; that awesome, endorphin-filled, I-can-kick-anyone’s-a$$ feeling you get when you finish a workout. At least, this is what works for me. That, and not giving myself time to make excuses; I just get home, change, grab my dogs, and go for a run.
You can do it!

 
7.
lealorali
Member
lealorali (message)  2,412 posts, Buzzing bee

Let me tell you somethin, girl. Husbands make you F-A-T! Because what better way to spend time with someone you love than enjoying a yummy meal or snack with them?! I always gain weight when I am in a relationship. (But I bought my dress a size too small so mami needs to get into SHAPE!!!)

 
8.
dreamocracy
Member
dreamocracy (message)  1,304 posts, Bumble bee

This didn’t happen to me after my wedding, but it happened when I first moved in with my husband (then fiance). He is a foot and 4 inches taller than me and eats a lot more and more often than I typically do, so I would eat with him. However, I started feeling pretty gross about it and decided that I would not eat every time he did, haha. We also worked out together for a while. Once the novelty of being with him all the time wears off a little it is easier to do things on your own while still being with him – I exercise in the room while he’s on the computer (which both happen in our livingroom), etc. Just try to remind yourself how much better you feel when you are good to yourself :)

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Camel (message)  326 posts, Helper bee

I definitely noticed this when Mr. C and I moved in together, although frankly I think it had more to do with starting my job as a teacher in the U.S. (as opposed to teaching in Japan where I was walking a lot more). I’m a big stress eater. I knew I was out of control when I kept one of those packages of ready made cookie dough in the fridge and I would come home and eat two when I had a bad day. Big mistake! Now I just need to ignore the fact that Mr. C couldn’t gain weight if he tried and just try to stay focused on my own fitness goals!

Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you meet all your goals and keep us updated!!

 
10.
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Bee
Mrs. Genie (message)  548 posts, Busy bee

I am in the same rut, and I have been married for a few months longer. I totally get the desire to curl up and cook great meals with/for the hubby, but I have just been struggling to get my butt in gear. I have a couple of 5ks coming up, and I’m working my way up to another Disney half. Let’s support each other in this! Best of luck Wallaby!

 
11.
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Member
DaniLyn (message)  85 posts, Worker bee

This happened to me when my fiancé (then boyfriend) and I first moved in together. It was compounded by the fact that I just graduated college, so no more college water polo. I always ate as much as or more than him (even though he’s almost a foot taller), but I ate healthier. We both gained a ton of weight because he started eating more and I started eating less healthy. After a year and half (and almost 50 pounds), we started eating healthier and less and working out together. I love working out together! It’s so motivating to have him as my workout buddy! My goal is to get back down to my college weight before the wedding. I still have year and a half, so I think I can do it!

Good luck getting back to it!

 
12.
bridesmomma
Member
bridesmomma (message)  868 posts, Busy bee

You go, girl! :-)

 
13.
bluebelle23
Member
bluebelle23 (message)  863 posts, Busy bee

It’s so hard when you live with someone! I’m a plump girl…. always have been…. probably always will be, but my wonderful FI has the metabolism of a 15 year old… STILL! He is always hungry and since we live together, I am too! I’m really trying to lose 20 pounds before the wedding. I lost about 8…. and now I just had Chick Fil A! DAMN!

 
14.
sn2bmrsmntgmry
Member
sn2bmrsmntgmry (message)  868 posts, Busy bee

Same here, you are definitely not alone in this. After the wedding I lost all motivation to work out despite my plans to keep “healthy”…. I got back to it for a week and then I slipped. It’s been a rough January for me. But I’m hoping to get back to it soon. You can do it!!!

 
15.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Pony (message)  8,376 posts, Bumble Beekeeper

It’s so easy to adopt the habits of the person you live with, although it always seems to be the unhealthy things :) I definitely went through the same rut, sometimes you need the break after such a huge event.

 
16.
CherryWaves
Member
CherryWaves (message)  1,384 posts, Bumble bee

I definitely let myself go in the last year and gained back all the weight I lost before the wedding and some! It REALLY hit me a few days ago when I was trying on some shorts that fit me last summer and weren’t even close to being done up this time. :(
Its hard for me because I have such a sedentary job and DH’s is more physically demanding so he’s not into any type of working out. He might come for a short walk with me in the evening once in a while, but that’s it.
I’m hoping to get back into the swing of healthy eating and working out when we get back from our vacation and lose the weight before bikini season…

 
17.
MrsKeAloha
Member
MrsKeAloha (message)  983 posts, Busy bee

I went through several months on Not Working out and I started enjoying treats I had denied myself and we started eating out more now that we were not saving for a wedding.
All in all we have been Happy! Yes I gained some weight but I laugh about it and have recently started working out again.
Its stressful planning a wedding and taking some time off from it all is okay as long as it doesn’t become a problem for you and you spouse.

 
18.
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Member
brittandkelly (message)  127 posts, Blushing bee

I was so glad to read this! I am a huge yoga and jogging enthusiast but it seems like since I moved in with DH the exact same thing has happened to me!! Great to feel not alone about this. Good luck on getting back into fitness and your bike race!! You can do it!!

 
19.
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Member
xjamiem (message)  26 posts, Newbee

I’m sure this will be a very interesting discussion!thank

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Lemur (message)  578 posts, Busy bee

Love this post! I’ve been running since I was in middle school and love the outdoors, etc., but when Mr. Lemur and I first started dating I started abandoning my hour/hour & a half workouts in the evening in favor of spending more time with him (even though we’ve never lived together). We both ended up gaining a few pounds in the first year of dating… and then both recommitted to a healthy lifestyle.

For us this means cutting down on eating out, running together, and going on dates that involve activities rather than just watching a movie, etc. I discovered that heading out to the local trail for a run together was actually really awesome time together.

Yay for accountability! You can totally rock this, and can’t wait to hear about it :)

 
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Mrs. Wallaby
Mrs. Wallaby

Mrs. Wallaby, Houston Age and Occupation: 24, Environmental Engineer Engagement Date: January 1, 2012 Wedding Date: November 2012 Venue: Oak Tree Manor About Me: I'm a free-spirited, adventurous girl who loves anything active, reading, traveling, cooking up new dishes for my fiancé, and working on my budding garden. My fiancé is an athletic, intellectual, animal-loving guy with an obsession with basketball and who treats me with the deepest compassion and respect. We are both engineers, and we met at our workplace. Together we complement one another and make a great team, and we are excitedly counting down the days until our outdoor wedding in Houston in November. We're planning a green wedding with lots of Persian cultural touches, and I can't wait to share all of the before-and-after details of our special day

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