Two Wheels Become One: My Only Drink

I only had one actual drink on my wedding day. Well, in addition to the sips of champange I had in the limo and during the toasts. But the only real drink I guzzled from start to finish was one of our signature cocktails at the cocktail hour. Martha Stewart calls it a Starlight Royale; we called it a Blushing Bride.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Here’s photographic proof that I drank one.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My SIL drank…more than one. I’m guessing. We still have dozens of those heart straws leftover, and sometimes I use one in a glass of water, just for kicks.

But let’s back up. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, it was already in full swing. Our guests had been mingling and downing drinks as fast as they could while we were PDA-ing on the green.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

After we golf carted our way back to the cocktail hour area, I expected to just sidle in unnoticed and loiter in the corner downing mini meatballs on toothpicks like I always do at weddings. However, that wasn’t possible because we didn’t serve any mini meatballs. And also we were the bride and groom. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, our guests took notice and actually broke into applause. I didn’t know what to do because I hadn’t planned on a grand entrance, so I stood there awkwardly and…well, hive…I took a bow. I did so, ironically, in a “come on, guys, you’re making me blush!” sort of way. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that I took a friggin bow while people clapped for me at a cocktail hour.

After that I needed a drink. Actually, I was feeling a little dehydrated and, being the smart person I am, I decided an alcoholic beverage was the best remedy. I hinted to a few people that I wanted a drink, but they were all like “oh sure, go get a drink! I won’t keep you!” And I was like seriously? How come hot chicks in movies get drinks practically thrown at them, but I, as a bride, couldn’t get a drink brought to me from an open bar? Side note: Hi, I’m an asshole. Have we met before?

I finally just told someone to get me a drink, and they obliged. I spent the rest of cocktail hour saying hello to guests, posing for photos, and guzzling my lone drink.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My friends from college also enjoyed the pink dranks.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

A few families took posed photos outside, which looked great with all the flowers. (Where are you now, flowers? I hate to sound like a hippie, but where have all the flowers gone??)


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My dad was gearing up for his big speech, but he clearly wasn’t feeling nervous.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

For some reason, all of the boutonnieres had one limp petal by this point in the day. Make of that what you will, and feel free to add a raunchy joke about it in the comments.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Our second shooter basically just followed me around and took photos that I requested. It was like having really nice, courteous paparazzi who I could order around. So basically not paparazzi at all. Here we are with some college friends and Mr. U’s ex-roommates. I like this picture because it makes me look like the female equivalent of a ladies’ man. A man’s lady?


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

We went butt-to-butt at the bachelorette party, so of course we did it at the wedding (spoiler alert: twice!)


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My grandparents, aunt, and uncle who all traveled across state lines for our lil shindig.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

This almost looks like they’re coming down the aisle. But no, they’re already married. I guess they don’t call this place “Bridges of Poplar Creek” for nothing.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

And I’m guessing you can tell who’s side of the family these folks are from. I’ll give you a hint: mine.

Before I knew it, cocktail hour was over and I hadn’t even tried any hors d’ouevres! Our guests slowly shuffled inside and found their seats. Meanwhile, the wedding party all gathered in a super secret “bridal room” to prepare our grand entrances.

Did you get to attend your cocktail hour? Did you have more than one drink? Have you ever tried to cure dehydration with alcohol? Why? Are you stupid?


Mrs. Unicycle

Chicago, IL
Wedding Date:
June 2012
Pretty Pretty Pictures
Food Update
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  1. Member
    courtoni 177 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:51 am

    I’m not married yet but I’m really hoping that I don’t miss the cocktail hour by taking too many pictures. I know that a lot of brides are so busy talking and hosting they don’t have much time to drink or they put down drinks and lose them.

    I would like to drink some but if it doesn’t really happen it’s fine. We will be on the island of our wedding from the Monday before so there will plenty of time for that during the week.

    I love how you just tried to slink into your reception. I don’t think we want to make a grand entrance either!

  2. Member
    seabeeny 68 posts, Worker bee @ 7:04 am

    Mrs. Unicycle, I really love your recaps!

    We just missed our cocktail hour, since we were also doing our pictures then. I think we would have had about two minutes worth and decided to scrap it and just wait and make an entrance.

    I did have more than one drink, and was kind of shocked, because I feel like more often than not, brides have experiences like yours. I had one of our signature cocktails, two glasses of champagne, a glass of wine, and a beer. Wow, I guess now that I list it, I’m not surprised I was a little drunk. And how funny you couldn’t get someone to bring you a drink– I couldn’t NOT get that to happen, thus the over-drinking. The glass of wine was the only one where I got it myself because I made a point of slinking away and going to the bar. The bartender had stepped away for a moment and came back and was like, “I made THE BRIDE wait, oh my God! I’m so sorry!” And my second glass of champagne, our caterer’s DOC brought up to me and said, “You look like you could use a glass of champagne.” Is it sad that those two moments were among my favorites of the entire wedding?

  3. Member
    softm 51 posts, Worker bee @ 7:15 am

    Bless you! It’s a lovely photo

  4. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:32 am

    That’s a major concern of mine – not getting time to eat or drink. My sister’s wedding caterer saved a couple of trays of munchies for the bridal party in the back room so we got to have stuff, and I plan on requesting the same be done at our wedding so I at least get to try stuff. I’d be really disappointed if I didn’t get to try everything!

    I hope I remember to hydrate with non-alcoholic drinks as well, because I also am stupid and tend to try to rehydrate with liquor!

  5. bluewhale Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 7:49 am

    I love your recaps. That is all. (Oh. I love the heart straws too. And I want someone to make me that drink. Sounds amazing.)

  6. Member
    ladymegbeth 227 posts, Helper bee @ 10:14 am

    Seriously, please write a book. You are so funny! I would buy the HELL out of any book you penned, for real. Just sayin…

  7. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 10:57 am

    I would KILL someone if I made those “I could use a drink” comments and nobody stepped up, oh my Lord. I’m angry at them for you!

  8. msmongoose Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 11:39 am

    “I finally just told someone to get me a drink, and they obliged.” Hahaha sometimes you just need to be direct!!

  9. mssquirrel Member
    mssquirrel 276 posts, Helper bee @ 12:47 pm

    Haha I’m taking notes and learning from you….I want to be happily buzzed at my reception!!

  10. candy apple Member
    candy apple 1877 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:54 pm

    I totally demanded that people fetch drinks for me at the wedding. It was amazing.

  11. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 5:35 pm

    No bride should have to get her own drink on her wedding day, I always make it my job to ensure that my friends have a drink during their reception :)

  12. panda Member
    Mrs. Panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:28 pm

    I love your heart straws! also I am officially putting someone on “get drink” duty!

  13. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 8:05 pm

    As usual, cracking up over your excellent recaps. Your family looks like a lot of fun, and you look gorgeous, as you have in every recap so far. Enjoying your wedding so much, and like a previous poster, would totally buy a book you wrote!

  14. funnelcake Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:18 am

    Well, when we got to the “cocktail/tea” thing they started brunch on our arrival. But one of the waitstaff raced to get me a drink. They knew how important that is! I had like a whole three drinks or something. :)

    (Yeah, tots looking forward to the next wedding I can go to and just drink however much I want without having to socialize with eeeveryone!)

  15. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 7:44 pm

    Someone did get me a drink at our wedding. But I had no idea I never drink it. I didn’t realize till the end of the night, when I finally asked whose pink girly untouched drink was next to my plate. Yeah… o well, still have no idea how got me that drink though

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