Two Wheels Become One: My Only Drink

I only had one actual drink on my wedding day. Well, in addition to the sips of champange I had in the limo and during the toasts. But the only real drink I guzzled from start to finish was one of our signature cocktails at the cocktail hour. Martha Stewart calls it a Starlight Royale; we called it a Blushing Bride.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Here’s photographic proof that I drank one.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My SIL drank…more than one. I’m guessing. We still have dozens of those heart straws leftover, and sometimes I use one in a glass of water, just for kicks.

But let’s back up. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, it was already in full swing. Our guests had been mingling and downing drinks as fast as they could while we were PDA-ing on the green.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

After we golf carted our way back to the cocktail hour area, I expected to just sidle in unnoticed and loiter in the corner downing mini meatballs on toothpicks like I always do at weddings. However, that wasn’t possible because we didn’t serve any mini meatballs. And also we were the bride and groom. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, our guests took notice and actually broke into applause. I didn’t know what to do because I hadn’t planned on a grand entrance, so I stood there awkwardly and…well, hive…I took a bow. I did so, ironically, in a “come on, guys, you’re making me blush!” sort of way. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that I took a friggin bow while people clapped for me at a cocktail hour.

After that I needed a drink. Actually, I was feeling a little dehydrated and, being the smart person I am, I decided an alcoholic beverage was the best remedy. I hinted to a few people that I wanted a drink, but they were all like “oh sure, go get a drink! I won’t keep you!” And I was like seriously? How come hot chicks in movies get drinks practically thrown at them, but I, as a bride, couldn’t get a drink brought to me from an open bar? Side note: Hi, I’m an asshole. Have we met before?

I finally just told someone to get me a drink, and they obliged. I spent the rest of cocktail hour saying hello to guests, posing for photos, and guzzling my lone drink.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My friends from college also enjoyed the pink dranks.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

A few families took posed photos outside, which looked great with all the flowers. (Where are you now, flowers? I hate to sound like a hippie, but where have all the flowers gone??)


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My dad was gearing up for his big speech, but he clearly wasn’t feeling nervous.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

For some reason, all of the boutonnieres had one limp petal by this point in the day. Make of that what you will, and feel free to add a raunchy joke about it in the comments.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Our second shooter basically just followed me around and took photos that I requested. It was like having really nice, courteous paparazzi who I could order around. So basically not paparazzi at all. Here we are with some college friends and Mr. U’s ex-roommates. I like this picture because it makes me look like the female equivalent of a ladies’ man. A man’s lady?


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

We went butt-to-butt at the bachelorette party, so of course we did it at the wedding (spoiler alert: twice!)


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

My grandparents, aunt, and uncle who all traveled across state lines for our lil shindig.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

This almost looks like they’re coming down the aisle. But no, they’re already married. I guess they don’t call this place “Bridges of Poplar Creek” for nothing.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

And I’m guessing you can tell who’s side of the family these folks are from. I’ll give you a hint: mine.

Before I knew it, cocktail hour was over and I hadn’t even tried any hors d’ouevres! Our guests slowly shuffled inside and found their seats. Meanwhile, the wedding party all gathered in a super secret “bridal room” to prepare our grand entrances.

Did you get to attend your cocktail hour? Did you have more than one drink? Have you ever tried to cure dehydration with alcohol? Why? Are you stupid?


Mrs. Unicycle

Chicago, IL
Wedding Date:
June 2012
Pretty Pretty Pictures
Food Update

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  1. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 5:35 pm

    No bride should have to get her own drink on her wedding day, I always make it my job to ensure that my friends have a drink during their reception :)

  2. panda Member
    Mrs. Panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:28 pm

    I love your heart straws! also I am officially putting someone on “get drink” duty!

  3. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 8:05 pm

    As usual, cracking up over your excellent recaps. Your family looks like a lot of fun, and you look gorgeous, as you have in every recap so far. Enjoying your wedding so much, and like a previous poster, would totally buy a book you wrote!

  4. funnelcake Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:18 am

    Well, when we got to the “cocktail/tea” thing they started brunch on our arrival. But one of the waitstaff raced to get me a drink. They knew how important that is! I had like a whole three drinks or something. :)

    (Yeah, tots looking forward to the next wedding I can go to and just drink however much I want without having to socialize with eeeveryone!)

  5. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 7:44 pm

    Someone did get me a drink at our wedding. But I had no idea I never drink it. I didn’t realize till the end of the night, when I finally asked whose pink girly untouched drink was next to my plate. Yeah… o well, still have no idea how got me that drink though

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