Hair Problems

So I was (I thought) 100% convinced of how I wanted to wear my hair for the wedding. You see, I’m all about looking like myself on my wedding day. I wanted to buy a dress that was “me,” that was comfortable, and that I could see myself wearing on any other day (if it wasn’t white and a wedding dress…). So when it came to hair, I wanted to follow the same principles. And I basically have one “favorite” way of wearing my hair, the same way I wore it in our engagement shoot.


Photo by Niki Marie Photography

Yeah, I’m kinda boring, but basically curly and pinned half back. I have a lot of heavy hair, so having it hang in my face drives me crazy! My hair now is even longer than in this picture.

So easy enough, right? I looked up pictures and found tons of inspiration for long curly hair—ways to make me look dressy yet still myself.


Image via / Photo by Lane Dittoe


Image via / Photo by Tinywater Photography

I bought my dress (online, without trying it on, remember?). It came, it fit perfectly, and I loved it! I had the dress and hairstyle I wanted—all good.


Image via J.Crew


The first time I tried on the dress my hair was up. It was the end of the day, I was tired, I pulled it on top of my head. I decided a few days later to style my hair and try on the dress to see what I would look like.

And I hated my hair down with it. Because my dress isn’t strapless, my long hair covered the straps and just made it look…weird. Even though I wanted to channel Mrs. Castle or Mrs. Hawk, I’m not sure it’s meant to be.

It’s been about a month since then and I’m still not sure what to do. I need to try on my dress again and play around with my hair a little bit more. I’m not sure if having someone else do my hair would make any difference. Complicating the issue is that Mr. Lemur prefers when I wear my hair down—as I think a lot of guys do. The wedding is indoors, so heat shouldn’t be a huge issue, but it’s South Carolina…and guys, it is always humid here.

What should I do? Any hairstyle suggestions? Down or up? Should I try to do my own hair or should I look into having someone do it for me? (It would have to be out of my own pocket, as there’s not room in the wedding budget.)


Mrs. Lemur

Greenville, South Carolina
Wedding Date:
May 2013
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  1. Member
    babycakes24 606 posts, Busy bee @ 7:33 am

    oooh…the image is awesome. I think that would be beautiful on you. Does your hair react to humidity/heat at all? Mine turns into a frizzy mess with the tiniest bit of humidity in the air and so I’m probably opting for all my hair up…

  2. bracelet Member
    Mrs. Bracelet 279 posts, Helper bee @ 7:48 am

    What about half up half down like the photo by Tinywater? That way you’d still have your long curls, but a clean view from the front. You could leave out just a few playful strands at the front to soften things.

  3. Member
    jmarvellous 550 posts, Busy bee @ 8:08 am

    If I had the hair for it, I’d consider one of those low, curled ponytails with the hair on the top of the head kind of poufed/teased.

    Searching “very long hair updo” on Google images comes up with a bunch of options that still keep your long hair look but pull it away from your shoulders.

  4. Member
    ladymegbeth 227 posts, Helper bee @ 8:10 am

    I’m with Mrs. Bracelet. I think if you style it half back with curls down your back, you get the best of both worlds….hair down, but a clean view of the dress from the front. Maybe a little more pinned back that you normaly do would ensure that the curls that are down stay behind your shoulders (if that makes any sense). You have such pretty long hair (other brides pay good money in extensions to have what you have naturally!) that it’d be a shame to hide it all in an up do. :)

  5. Member
    bride2bee2013 7 posts, Newbee @ 8:17 am

    I tried to post but it keeps getting hung up as spam. I’d suggest a loose/side pony as well. Still soft and romantic but out of your face and not competing with straps. Go to pinterest (even if not a member) and just search “side pony wedding” and some really pretty pictures will pop up. or or or or

  6. Member
    kit_kath 1327 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:25 am

    Have you played around with a loose side pony, or a loose braided style? I have a lot of hair and don’t really like updos (it takes so many pins to get it to stay up there) and I have a lot of luck with the side styles.,pony,with,plate,wedding,hairstyles-1f489298f8c8410349a7ce5ef7196c00_h.jpg

  7. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 8:41 am

    I was exactly in your same boat- decided on half up with curls, my “go-to” style. My dress ALSO has straps and it just looked… nicer with my hair up. More elegant.
    I actually think an up-do will dress up your dress. I know you are a laid-back kinda girl but I bet it would look gorgeous up, a little something special!!

  8. Member
    Red Poppy 31 posts, Newbee @ 8:42 am

    I have long hair and also don’t like when any of it hangs around my face! I do love the half-updo looks though, so that is always an option~ your engagement session hair looked beautiful, and you could always push it back behind your shoulders. I also like the suggestion for a low side pony. Another option is to have it one way (up or down) for the ceremony and the opposite for the reception. Depending on how much work it is, I would recommend getting it professionally done.

  9. Member
    kbiceling 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:57 am

    Low curly ponytail! It’s kind of the best of both worlds – out of your face but off the straps and still mostly down.

  10. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:22 am

    @babycakes24: Ugh yes this is one of my biggest problems! I’ve lived in South Carolina for five years and I’m telling you… humidity here is awful. In the summer it’s like I have a good hair day one out of every three days :) May in South Carolina means a pretty good chance of humidity, which is part of the recent I’m going back and forth on this so much!

  11. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:24 am

    @Mrs. Bracelet: I really really love that picture. I think it’s my favorite of all the ones I found :) And it makes me want a hair flower too… I’m wearing a birdcage veil but you can wear a birdcage veil with a hair flower even for the ceremony, right?

  12. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:26 am

    @Emily: If only I could look just like her 😉 But for real, I love that look! I think the side curly ponytail is what I’m leaning towards.

  13. Member
    xjamiem 26 posts, Newbee @ 9:32 am

    I love that look! I think the side curly ponytail is what I’m leaning towards.

  14. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:33 am

    @jmarvellous, @bride2bee2013, & @kbiceling: I’m totally thinking the side ponytail might be my best option. Remember in my post about how we met I had a picture of our first date? (It’s here, oh my gosh we look so young haha: I just curled my hair and pinned in back and LOVED it. I might try this with my dress on. I actually think it’s something I could myself pretty easily or have a friend/one of my sisters help me :)

  15. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:36 am

    @lealorali: Haha I didn’t know how to describe how I felt when I tried on my dress with my hair up versus down… I’m glad you understand! :)

  16. mslemur Member
    mslemur 616 posts, Busy bee @ 9:37 am

    @Red Poppy: I’ve actually never had my hair professionally done. Crazy right? I’ve had my hair done by friends maybe two or three times… but other than that I always style it myself!

  17. Member
    thirdtimebride 483 posts, Helper bee @ 11:33 am

    To get the half-up look without the half-down bits flowing over your shoulders and obscuring the straps of your dress, pull the half-up bits starting at the base of your hairline–kinda like pulling it up into a ponytail but without the middle bits getting in there. Pulling the sides that deep will keep the long hair in the back corralled fairly well, leaving it to cascade down your back like in all those pretty pictures.

  18. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:33 pm

    I wear my hair down EVERY DAY, so it was a given that I was going to wear it up the day of the wedding, because although I wanted to look like myself I didn’t want to look “too every day”.

    I like the idea of a long curly pony tail.

  19. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 6:08 pm

    You have such pretty hair, however you decide to wear it will look gorgeous!

  20. Member
    xjamit 42 posts, Newbee @ 9:21 am

    I know you are a laid-back kinda girl but I bet it would look gorgeous up, a little something special!!

  21. Guest Icon Guest
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  22. Guest Icon Guest
    Veronica, Guest @ 8:38 pm

    Yes! Finally someone writes about *feng*.

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