On Asking Daddy…

I always knew I would walk down the aisle with my dad on my wedding day.

I know there are a lot of mixed feelings concerning the concept of being “given away.” I didn’t look at it that way; I thought about it as him walking there beside me, just as he has done my entire life. But being honest, to some extent, it felt like he was giving me away.

I’ve never been a daddy’s girl; my dad and I are too much alike to have that close relationship, but he’s been a great support in my life and to some extent it feels like I’ve always been under his wing, for better or worse. So this felt like the last straw of him coming to terms with the fact that I am leaving home, I am all grown up now, I am in a serious relationship with a great man, and I’ll be living with him now (eek!).

There was only one small flaw in my “walk down the aisle with my dad” plan. He had no idea it was happening.

dm

This is the only pic I could find with my dad, and I had to crop out my sister”¦true story.

Since we didn’t have a wedding that’s considered typical around here, no one was sure of what was going to happen, so one day when the whole family was sitting down for dinner and my mom mentioned my dad walking me down the aisle, he just looked at us, blank faced, and asked, “I am doing that? Why?”

We let it slide, since he’s a joker, but I realized I had to set things straight with him. So one day when driving to the baseball game (our one shared joy), I took advantage of our moments alone and talked to him in the one language that works for us both, joking-sarcasm (the same one I used every time I asked permission to go out).

Me: So, are you walking me down the aisle?
Dad: Do I have to?
Me: Yes.
Dad: But why? *moan*
Me: Because you are my dad, duh.
Dad: So?
Me: You have to give me away. What if Mr. Toadstool doesn’t take me?
Dad: Pfff, all right.

So that’s the short story of how I got my dad to walk me down the aisle. I never thought I’d have to ask, but I know, in our very own way, it was meaningful.

So, hive, remember to ask your dad to walk you down the aisle (if that’s what you want, of course). He might not know he has to.

Did/will any of your parents walk you down the aisle? Did/will you ask?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Toadstool

Location:
Obregon, Mexico
Wedding Date:
December 2012
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  1. Member
    hma812 365 posts, Helper bee @ 12:04 pm

    Walking myself down. Although my dad was there growing up I don’t feel very close to him, also the reason I am going to fight my fiance to the death about having a father daughter dance/mother son dance.

  2. Member
    papercrafter 399 posts, Helper bee @ 12:27 pm

    I’m really worried my dad wont be there to this…I really want him to. Ive decided to ask my mom and him. They both want to but I’m not sure my dad is going to be able to make it to the wedding (various reasons). It would be a hard walk without him. If not I’ll walk with my mom and it will be nice too.
    I definitely don’t want to do a father/daughter dance though…I feel like it will be ackward. My FMIL really wants to dance with her son so that’s fine by me :)

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    von1976, Guest @ 12:51 pm

    Even though we struggle to get along, I asked my brother to walk me down the aisle. Our father passed away in ’99, so it was either him, our step-father, or I walk alone. I thought it was more meaningful to have my brother do it in the absence of our father…

    It was an awkward conversation for sure, but he seemed flattered. And he did say yes… now let’s hope he doesn’t trip me on the way down the aisle.

  4. Member
    Ms_BlueBear 55 posts, Worker bee @ 1:24 pm

    My dad passed away in 05, so I have asked my mom to walk me down the isle. I decided to buy a locket and put my dad’s picture along with a picture of my best friend who passed 3 years later in it. I love the idea of them being close to my heart and feel like they are with me walking down. <3

  5. Member
    mswallaby 2063 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:33 pm

    That’s really sweet! I’m glad you talked him into it :)

  6. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 6:39 pm

    Aw, what a sweet story! I didn’t give my dad a choice :)

  7. Member
    dansyr4 1 posts, Wannabee @ 6:39 pm

    I was interested in reading everyone’s replies because this is a topic I am struggling with myself! I have never been close with either of my parents. The problem is that they think they are close to me, when in reality I struggle to get along with either one of them. I have been extremely independent my entire life and i felt like walking myself down the isle is the most comfortable and appropriate choice for me. Having said this I thought it was assumed and understood by all that no one would be walking me down the isle. Until my mom spoke up and said, “your having both your father and I walk you down the isle right?” After explaining my desire to show my independence she went and talked negatively about me to my own friends and family. The verdict is still out on whether or not my dad thinks he is giving me away and honestly I am dreading the topic.

    Ultimately I keep coming back to the same gut feeling. My independence and lack of personal relationships with either of my parents overrides their expectations. I have made the desicion for my four year old daughter to be the one to walk me down the isle!!!!!! She is my dearest friend and has been what family is really about for me, so it feels right for her to play this special role. My fiancé is vowing to love us both for the rest of our lives and I can’t think of a better way to include her. I can’t wait :)

  8. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 7:18 pm

    @dansyr4: putting aside your parents’ issues, it is fantastic your girl is walking you down the aisle, the meaning and feeling behind it is beautiful, because, as you said, both of you are commiting to your FI.

  9. Member
    reynaweddingbee 194 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:12 pm

    I think my dad knows that’s part of the whole wedding process, but maybe I should remind him! He still insists our father-daughter dance will be “La Bamba!” (I would do it if I didn’t have two left feet!)

  10. Member
    cosmo_gmr 946 posts, Busy bee @ 8:48 am

    My relationship with my dad is a lot like how you describe yours. Thankfully I didn’t have to ask him to walk me down the aisle… XD
    Loved your convo with him! so funny and cute!

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