Mr. W and I didn’t become roommates until we got married. He obediently paid his own mortgage, utility bills, and car payments, and ate canned vegetables for dinner. I paid my own rent and utility bills, tried not to shell out too much money each week on gourmet groceries and eating out, and did my best to avoid Sephora. Sigh. We knew it would be an, ahem, transition to get used to each other’s spending habits, but at the same time it felt too weird taking turns paying for dinner once we were married. Or splitting the mortgage payment. So we paid a trip to our neighborhood Chase to straighten things out.
Photo via FinishRich
Single Mr. W had a checking and savings account at Chase, a Chase Sapphire credit card, and a Macy’s card. I had a checking account, savings account, and several CDs at Bank of America, a United Explorer credit card, and a Banana Republic card. Here’s how things went down.
We decided to keep Mr. W’s checking account as our primary joint account, since he already pays all of the house bills out of it. I closed out all of my Bank of America accounts and transferred the money to the Chase account. We added my name to the account and ordered me a brand new Chase debit card once I changed my name. That’s Mrs. Wallaby, thank-you-very-much. And we also added each other onto our credit cards. So we each now have a Sapphire card and a United Explorer card. (Mr. W wasn’t too interested in the Banana Republic card. His loss. 
)
But, hive, Mr. W knows me. And I know him oh so well. We don’t see eye to eye on all of our spending… Like, if you ask me, we would totally survive without replacing our 55″ TV for a 60″ TV. (Right, ladies?!!) And Mr. W just makes a funny little sound and tries to stay mum when I bring home a new pair of boots. We’re both generally frugal and have the same financial ambitions, and we’ve carefully managed our personal finances and stayed out of debt. We make similar salaries, and through lots of (boring) conversations about money, we’ve both been putting aside similar amounts of money for retirement and savings each month. But when it comes to buying little things here and there, we don’t always see eye to eye.
Enjoying the hell out of my boots. Worth every penny. / Photo by Mustard Seed Photography
So to avoid arguments over small money matters, here’s our solution: allowances. We each get 5% of our take-home pay to spend on whateva-the-heck we want. If we want to buy something big that the other person doesn’t feel is necessary (cough cough, new TVs), we can save up our allowance, just like we did when we were five.
We’re still on the fence about how to carry out this allowance system. For now, we each have separate checking accounts at Chase and we transfer allowance money over to the accounts each month. (Funny story: Chase currently only offers two styles of debit cards: classic blue cards and Disney cards. So I ordered a 101 Dalmatians card for my allowance account. It’s like spending play money.)
Photo via Disneydebit.com
And we’ll see how it goes. I hope over time we’ll get used to sharing money and just rely on one account. It really would make things a whole lot simpler. As always, I’ll keep y’all posted. 
How do you and your significant other manage your money? Did you combine finances when you tied the knot—or are you planning to? Is there are more efficient way for us to have separate “allowances”?
that’s a really good idea about allowances of 5%! may mention that in passing to SO for when the time comes in the future!
We aren’t married yet so we haven’t combined finances and even after the wedding in 6 weeks, I won’t be working so we have just decided to leave everything in his name since he will be paying all the main bills- I will have my own account to cover my gas and things I need (this is money I saved from when I was working) but I hope to start a new job early in the summer (since I graduate in May) and we have already decided that when I do find a job and have income coming in that we are going to do this very similar to you guys. We will have a checking and savings account (joint). The checking account will cover our bills and living expenses. The savings will be exactly that a saving account to save up for emergencies and a home since we do not own home. Depending on my job, we will look at retirement. My fiance has an excellent retirement set up through his work so we never see that money (its automatic out of how pay). We will probably have to set up retirement for me though. We also plan to do allowances although we can not determine that amount yet. It will depend on how much I end up making salary wise and how much our total bills/living expenses end up being.
Combining finances is a tough decision but the harder one is communicating about finances without yelling after the wedding.
I really like the idea of the allowances! It will definitely help us buckle down on what we need to save vs what we can “play with”. Great job Wallabys!
We’ll be doing a similar thing, joint checking account for normal living expenses (so I can stop transferring money into his account for rent like a roomie!), joint savings account for things like a house one day, separate checking accounts (probably also going to use about 5% of our paychecks towards this) for separate fun without having to worry about what the other person thinks. We both make our own money, we should both be able to spend at least a small portion of it the way we choose without too much judgement!
We have a joint savings and checking, but we both still have our own checking accounts. We put what we need to cover bills and other expenses into our joint account and whatever we have left is ours. I guess I was on my own too long to fork over my entire paycheck and only have a small portion of money left that I’m allowed to spend. To each their own!
I think if this is what works then you should go for it. We just combined everything (well, I have a separate checking acct but it’s on our combined mint.com account so he can see exactly what goes into it and how, if any, is spent), and then we ask each other for permission if something is over $100. Luckily we aren’t really spenders. The only drawback is when we buy each other presents we have to tell each other not to look at the CC bill for that month until the present is given.
Our finances are already semi combined. We have a joint account and separate accounts. A portion of my paycheck automatically goes to our joint for all our joint bills and to save a bit as a couple. The rest goes to my account and I pay out my student loans and personal credit cards from that. We always want to have separate accounts, I don’t want to have to explain the justification behind certain splurges and neither does he.
We do something very similar. Each week we both have our checks direct deposited into 3 accounts – joint checking, joint savings & personal checking.
We sat down & calculated our monthly household budget (mortgage, utilities, insurance, gas, groceries, etc.) and figured out how much we each need to put in a week to cover everything (plus a little buffer). We did it by %, not $, since we don’t make the same. That amount goes into the joint checking.
Same concept for the joint savings.
Then whatever is left over goes in our own checking to do whatever we want with. We’re both paid hourly & are eligible for overtime, so this is the only account with a fluctuating amount. The only 2 are the same amount every week.
It really works great for us. We did this back when we first bought our house in 2009 & I can honestly say, we’ve never had a fight about money.
This is a great post! We have set a budget of what we’re allowed to spend each month. We discuss any purchases that would go beyond that. (For example, I’m taking a trip with a friend this weekend.) It works for us, especially since I’m still looking for employment. Maybe when I get a job, we’ll reevaluate and do something similar to what you two do.
I’ve been talking with my fiancé about doing something similar. However, we’re roommates now, so it’s hard to tell what to implement now and what to wait on til after we’re married. As of right now, I’m still on the job hunt, so most (okay all) of the money we spend is his, and he has the ultimate say. After I get a job (hopefully soon!!) my earnings will go towards saving for the honeymoon/a house eventually, and our day-to-day finances will still be his. BUT, after we get married, I think we’ll adopt a more shared view, like the one main account with individual account branching off. Let us know if it works/doesn’t work!
We won’t be combining our finances. I like how you guys organized yours, though!!
This is pretty much how we will be organizing our finances, once we get married. For now, we are going to set up a joint checking account to put the money for our wedding in, and that will become our joint “let’s pay for bills and other such grown up things” account, and we will have separate checking for our personal spending.
We haven’t changed our finances since getting married. We keep meaning to, but we currently draw our resources from so many different funds that trying to combine things would unnecessarily complicate things! I hope we can straighten things out by the end of this year.
Helpful ideas! My SO and I have been talking about this quite a bit. Like you, we are both generally frugal souls and have no debt other than mortgages. However, also like you, we have very different “splurge” ideas. I believe the occasional (regularly occasional) strongly-desired new outfit is almost a need, and he feels that way about his boy-toy items that I’d be able to forego for life. 
So, how to allocate the splurge money is definitely something we have to figure out. I love the 101 Dalmatians card!
I love that card. My bank lets you send whatever pic you want and puts it in your card. My mom did it, but it’s a bit odd when the cashiers look at the pic of me and my sister and ask if that’s a real credit card.
My DH and I are having issues with this right now. As in, I like to pay bills…he likes to let the season for a couple months and then pay…the only issue with that is now his car insurance has been cancelled and the car loan place is threatening to charge an extra 140 each month…needless to say I’m now taking care of all of the finances…he doesn’t get to pay bills any more 
We don’t have separate accounts for allowances. We’re pretty cheap, though, and we always ask each other about major expenses. (Like new TVs… yep, we just upgraded. Men.) That said, we each keep our own credit card that the other person doesn’t have access to, so if we want to do gifts or personal shopping, we can keep it separate/secret. So far it hasn’t been a problem!
We have been having the same conversations. He wants to combine pretty much everything and I’m reluctant. We both have credit card debt that we will combine but as someone getting married in my 40s I’ve never had to explain my spending to anyone. Or ask for an allowance.
And to be honest he spends more than I do. I feel like there is a J Crew or Vineyard Vines box showing up weekly. I guess I am just concerned that if I want to get a manicure or load up my Starbucks card it will mean a whole conversation? I like the 5% idea though!
Before we got married, I had the idea of just doing a joint savings account and then keep separate checking accounts for our own stuff. During our engagement I remember talking to my dad, and he told me, “doesn’t matter what you do, once you’re married you, and everything else, will become one.” We ended up having joint checking/savings after we got married, and it was definitely hard at first, and at times it still is, but it’s definitely worked out for us in wanting to save up for our future.
Mrs. Wallaby, Houston Age and Occupation: 24, Environmental Engineer Engagement Date: January 1, 2012 Wedding Date: November 2012 Venue: Oak Tree Manor About Me: I'm a free-spirited, adventurous girl who loves anything active, reading, traveling, cooking up new dishes for my fiancé, and working on my budding garden. My fiancé is an athletic, intellectual, animal-loving guy with an obsession with basketball and who treats me with the deepest compassion and respect. We are both engineers, and we met at our workplace. Together we complement one another and make a great team, and we are excitedly counting down the days until our outdoor wedding in Houston in November. We're planning a green wedding with lots of Persian cultural touches, and I can't wait to share all of the before-and-after details of our special day
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