Weddingbee Blog

Toasts are one of my favorite things about weddings, and I’m not talking about burnt bread. I love hearing what the bride and groom’s friends and family have to say about them. And, now that I’m a sap, I’ve been known to tear up at wedding speeches, even when I’ve only met the bride and groom once before.

I was really looking forward to our toasts because, hello, it’s a whole speech about me. Oh, and Mr. Unicycle. I mean, what’s better than having someone tell a captive audience how great you are and how cute your relationship is? Answer: nothing.

After everyone simmered down from the reception entrances, my maid of honor kicked off the toasts. (To watch it in action, check out our video at the 17:15 mark.)

Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

“First I’d like to thank [The Unicycles’ parents], and everyone who has done so much to help Kari and Chris celebrate their special day. Kari, it’s finally here. It’s your day. It’s your special day.” [I think she was quoting me.]

“I know that quite a few of you are looking around at the flowers and centerpieces thinking “I wonder if that’s one of the ones I made?” Kari and Chris, if there are this many people who love you enough to be willing to help you craft your wedding decorations by hand, I think it’s safe to say that you won’t have a difficult time finding a babysitter. You can literally look around this room and see how much love and support there is for this couple.”

Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

“The other thing I see when I look around this room is Kari’s awesome talent and creativity. I think that if anyone is ever curious about what the inside of Kari’s brain looks like, you can just take a look at that candy buffet over there, wow! Bright and cheery, isn’t it?”

Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

It really is.

“It just sums up so much of what I love about Kari. Her sweet, sunny personality, and her ability to take that joy and share it with every single person who comes in contact with her.”

“I met Kari and Chris in the fall of 2006, around the same time as they met each other. It was a historic year. Twitter had just been founded, the song Sexyback was taking the country by storm, and Kari and I found ourselves randomly placed as college roommates. I don’t think the world was quite the same after that moment. Chris lived on a different floor in our dorm building. I knew him as “that really opinionated guy from my honors seminar.” But soon I would come to see him differently. I’d come to see him as “that dude who’s totally creepin’ on Kari.” I still remember him coming around to our dorm room to see if Kari was around to study for their next big physics test, and turning away disappointedly if she wasn’t around. Sure, Chris, physics. That’s the oldest line in the book.”

Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

“Soon Chris became a fixture in our circle of friends, and I could see Kari falling—hard. And as I’ve gotten to know Chris better, I’ve realized not only what a loving, caring, funny guy he is, but also how amazing that you two complement each other. You support each other. You challenge each other and broaden each other’s horizons in a very good way. Knowing Kari years ago, I never imagined her attending a country music concert/hockey game. And Chris, I’m sure that you never expected that the Milwaukee Jingle Bus would become a yearly holiday tradition for you. And in a weird way, this is how I know it works. In these small, funny ways and a ton of bigger ways, I’ve already seen both of you giving yourselves over to each other. This wedding is a momentous occasion, and I’m sure it’s going to be a very fun night. But it’s also just a small step in the amazing journey that’s in store for you two. I can’t wait to see all of the amazing things that the future holds in your new life together.”

“This is the part of the speech where I’m supposed to give you guys advice for your marriage. Due to my inexperience, I’m gonna leave that up to the actual married people who probably had some great words of wisdom for you guys in their RSVPs. But I’ll leave you one nugget of advice: Remember to make each day count.”

Screenshot from our video

[The night before the wedding, the bridesmaids and I had been drinking a little wine, and we got to talking about how we should all say "here, here!" at the end of my maid of honor’s speech, like the mustachioed man in Titanic. And while we’re at it, wouldn’t it be funny if her speech was the speech from Titanic? And she actually did it. You can see above that the girls were already going apeshit while the guys looked around confusedly.]

Screenshot from our video

[One bridesmaid was actually brought to tears.]

“Because things move fast. Just two nights ago, Kari, you were spending your last night in your childhood bedroom, and now, here you are, in the finest golf club in Hoffman Estates drinking champagne on your wedding night with these fine people. You see, life’s a gift, so make sure not to waste it. You never know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. Kari and Chris, make sure to take life as it comes at you. Make each day count. To Kari and Chris!”

I love how no one else in the wedding had any idea why we were laughing so hard.

What’s the funniest maid of honor speech you’ve ever witnessed?