Wedding-Planning Lessons I’ve Learned So Far

Now that Mr. M and I are in double-digit territory, I thought I’d share some lessons I’ve learned and things I’ve realized throughout this crazy wedding-planning process.

Image via Wedding Salon

  • Your budget can easily be larger than what you originally thought it would be if 1) you’ve never planned a wedding before or 2) you have no idea the true cost of wedding things.
  • You and your SO may argue about the most RIDICULOUS things for the wedding. How you overcome these arguments is probably good practice for your marriage.
  • Establish with your family from the very beginning what you and your SO want for your wedding (whether that’s no children, or a circus act during the reception). This will save you from much stress later on when everyone and their mother thinks they can tell you what to do.
  • Organization is key—it’s what holds everything together and helps you keep your sanity.
  • Communication is key—if you are pissed at your bridesmaid (for example), take a step back before you snap and calmly assess the best way to handle the situation.
  • Pick your battles wisely. Very wisely.
  • No matter how strict you are, mom and dad will always manage to add extra guests to the guest list.
  • If they do, only you can judge if the drama will pass or if it’ll cause World War 3 amongst your family.
  • Some vendors just do not understand the value and stress relief of a prompt reply, but make sure you can spot the different between a vendor who just occasionally drops the ball on communication and one that communicates with you frequently until the deposit is paid and then falls off the face of the earth.
  • Try not to let the little details sneak up on you. It’s better to do some tasks wayyy earlier in the planning game than to let them wait until the last minute.
  • Resist the urge to talk about your wedding all the time…unless someone asks, of course.
  • Don’t be afraid to make up your own rules when it comes to invitation wording. You’ll thank yourself later for it.
  • A few invitations will get lost in the mail (for whatever reason). Once the invites have been out for at least two or three weeks, start following up with people who have not yet returned the RSVP card to ensure they’ve actually received the invite.
    • Make sure you ordered a few extra invitations in case the above happens so you can re-send the invites if need be.
  • Some guests are just incapable of returning the RSVP card despite how simple you make it for them. Kindly remind guests a few times that you’d really appreciate them mailing in their response (texting you or writing on your Facebook wall that they will be coming is not acceptable).

I imagine the next few months will bring even more lessons my way, so I’ll make sure to write a follow-up post.

Have any of the things above happened to you as well? Are there any other key lessons you’ve learned so far as you get closer to your wedding date?


Mrs. Mongoose

New Haven, CT
Wedding Date:
May 2013
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  1. Member
    CatyLady 9637 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 11:46 am

    I wish you’d have written tis before I got married. Great advice.

  2. bracelet Member
    Mrs. Bracelet 279 posts, Helper bee @ 11:48 am

    Very true!

  3. Member
    lovelyduckie 756 posts, Busy bee @ 11:49 am

    “Resist the urge to talk about your wedding all the time…unless someone asks, of course.”

    I’m incredibly guilty of this. To be honest I can’t really talk about my hobbies all that much because they don’t match what my friends like. And now that a major part of my life has been taken over by the wedding…it feels like I have very little to talk about these days lol.

  4. Member
    shortbread 290 posts, Helper bee @ 11:53 am

    One key thing for myself and my fiance is scheduling time to talk about the wedding. I will actually send him a meeting request with the agenda for the meeting. As much as I want to talk about the wedding 24/7 he doesn’t. We want to carry on a normal life and meet to discuss wedding things. He of course knows how many hours I spend on Etsy on Pinterest but he is involved during our meetings and handles the tasks assigned to him.

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    Stephanie, Guest @ 12:29 pm

    Love love love this advice! These tips are definitely something all brides need to hear, but nobody knows who or where to get the advice from. So glad we have the Bee to help everyone out :)

  6. Member
    shaynapunim 654 posts, Busy bee @ 12:41 pm

    Great advice!! Thanks for sharing. :)

  7. Member
    hansey12 39 posts, Newbee @ 3:28 pm

    @Shortbread: Oh my gosh, ME TOO. He will find any reason to not have the discussion. I also must keep the discussion to a certain time frame. I know that I have about 10 minutes to discuss ONE topic. That’s all he can handle. Many fights were started because of wedding planning before this new “policy” was implemented.

  8. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:57 pm

    Oh this is SO TRUE!!!

  9. Member
    starz88962 739 posts, Busy bee @ 6:56 pm

    Great advice!!

    I pretty much lost it completely when I found out that my MOH told me that she would be unable to attend my bridal shower (thrown by two of my aunts) because she would be attending a 3 day music festival instead. I did not, however, let her see my initial reaction (which was BAD) and instead took a few steps back and tried to figure out the best way to approach the situation.

    I am not pleased at all with the fact that she will not be attending my shower. I am completely disappointed, maybe even borderline devastated. BUT I agree completely that you should take a step back from any stressful situation (wedding-related or otherwise!) and decide rationally how to react.

  10. Member
    mrsss 40 posts, Newbee @ 2:28 am

    Very True!!thanks

  11. Guest Icon Guest
    Mark Stevens, Guest @ 5:44 am

    Great article with some handy tips that everyone should read

  12. Member
    DBS5127 220 posts, Helper bee @ 6:24 am

    Great tips/words of wisdom.

    @Shortbread: That’s a great system. My fiancé hasn’t wanted to talk about wedding stuff, so we haven’t much … until we went to look at venues yesterday. I learned so much about what he likes/wants. Definitely need to start scheduling times for this!

  13. msmongoose Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 6:34 am

    @lovelyduckie: I agree, sometimes it’s hard to talk about anything else! But definitely make an effort to find out what’s going on on other people’s lives–that should stray the convo away from wedding talk (unless it’s a friend who’s getting married as well!)

  14. msmongoose Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 6:35 am

    @Shortbread: Smart system you’ve got there!

    @Stephanie: @shaynapunim: Glad it’s helpful :)

  15. msmongoose Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 6:39 am

    @starz88962: I totally understand your disappoint–but that’s very wise of you to not let her see your initial reaction (and rage). At the end of the day, if she’s been very supportive and a good friend so far (and if she planned this festival well before she knew when your shower was going to be), then it’s not worth flipping out on her about and potentially losing her as your MOH. If she’s been flaky this whole time, well then that’s another story.

  16. Member
    xjamiem 26 posts, Newbee @ 8:28 am

    So glad we have the Bee to help everyone out!!

  17. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 1:13 pm

    The mail thing is the WORST. I am so frustrated with the Post Office over the lost invites.

    Thank you for sharing this! :)

  18. msmongoose Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 1:23 pm

    @StephK527: RIGHT?! And the thing is where do they end up?? I know for sure there are 4 invitations that are lost and they were sent out a month ago–but I haven’t received them back as “undeliverable” so who has them? Is there another dimension where lost invites go? SUCH a headache!!

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