I know I’m not the first bee to tackle this subject, and I’m probably not the most eloquent either! Mrs. Mink and Miss Otter covered the subject well and gave arguments for having an unplugged wedding, of which there are many. Both Mrs. Mink and Miss Otter shared this photo, which shows the biggest downside of allowing guests to use their phones at will.
Image via Offbeat Bride / Photo by Solare Photography
I think all of us would say we would rather have guests watching us in person than staring at us through a tiny screen, right? So why not post a sign like this and ask guests to stay unplugged for the duration of the wedding?
Photo by Jodi Miller Photography
A couple of reasons. In fact, I’ll number them for you. Here’s my personal justification for having a plugged-in wedding—which to me means not just allowing devices, but actually encouraging them. I’ll get to that in another post!
Note: If we were getting married in a cathedral, this post would probably be different. If we were having a formal wedding, again—this post would probably be different. Everybody’s situation is…different. You get it.
1. It’s hard to control. I don’t want to be the “cell phone police,” asking people to turn off their phones or put them away because this is my moment. No, I don’t think all unplugged weddings are like that! But I don’t want to feel like I’m back in high school with the teacher taking away someone’s phone for texting in class.
2. I love to use my phone at weddings. I snapped this picture at my cousin’s wedding over Christmas. Awful picture? Yep! Great reminder of a moment I wouldn’t have otherwise? Also a resounding yes. The photographer at the wedding mainly took group shots, pictures I’ll probably never see. If I hadn’t taken this picture (and some others) on my iPhone, I wouldn’t have any memories of hanging out with my crazy family.
Personal photo
3. I really, really want those pictures. Not the perfectly posed and framed pictures with the guys looking dapper and handsome—OK, I mean I do want those!
Image via Niki Marie Photography
I mean the casual, “just happened to snap a photo as you guys were laughing” pictures. The ones the photographers can’t always get because, well, they can’t be everywhere at once. If you catch my dad crying as he walks back to his seat, take a picture. I want the pictures of groups of people at tables that I only got to visit with once or twice and the kids playing with their food. Heck, take a picture of your kid screaming because he can’t have more cake!
I can’t wait to see them.
Anyone else doing a plugged-in wedding? Thoughts on unplugged versus plugged-in weddings?
We had noon wedding with an afternoon reception, so we were home together pretty early that night. One of the best moments was taking the time to look at all of the photos people were already putting up on Facebook from our wedding. Part of it was seeing all of the other “moments” the photographer didn’t catch, but the other part was just feeling all of the love that people had such a great time, they wanted to share it with others!
I completely agree with you as it pertains to the RECEPTION. But we had an unplugged ceremony, and I wouldn’t have changed that for anything, I wanted our guests to be present in the moment. Our ceremony turned out to be even more emotional than I had anticipated (complete with me bawling up front like a blubbering mess), and I am infinitely grateful that my guests got to share in those emotions 100%, rather than only half paying attention so they could make sure they got the “perfect shot.” People tell us all the time that our ceremony was the most personal and enjoyable one they’ve ever been to, and I’d like to think that being unplugged and truly in the moment had at least a little bit of influence on that.
We encouraged friends to take pictures, and I’m SO happy we did. My photographer definitely didn’t get everything the guests did (in fact we may not have had any photos of some guests had they not taken their own pictures), ESPECIALLY during the ceremony! For instance, when I walked down the aisle, the photographers were focused on shooting me and DH…but a guest from a side angle got a great shot of me and my dad walking down the aisle, with one of my best friends in tears with her hand to her chest across the aisle. I would have never seen that amazing photo if I had made the ceremony unplugged. PLUS it’s been 4 weeks since the wedding and we still haven’t gotten pro pix back, whereas I’ve been able to look at hundreds of guest pix within hours and days of the wedding!!!
I agree. I want all types of pictures from everywhere. I think those pictures are the best. That’s one reason I chose to do I spy at the reception..Those candid moments that my photographer can’t get.. I am one to use every resource possible to capture this day for myself.
This topic is a very tough call, I remember walking into the church for my wedding and was overwhelmed by the flash from the cameras and phones as I walked in and it touched me. I actually had to fight back the tear as my son escorted me in. I promised myself I won’t mess up my make up, and did I have a fight on my hands with my tears. Eventually I got it under control like a good 20 minutes later. I did not mind the photos at all as over seas guest will want their own memories of the occasion . I felt they cared enough to want to secure the memories.
We planned on having an unplugged ceremony (I hate when people are playing around with the settings on their cameras instead of being fully present!) but forgot to make a sign or ask our officiant to make an announcement. Amazingly, very few people pulled out their cameras – it was really emotional and I think people got carried away by the moment. But I will tell you, we’ve had a really tough time tracking down guest photos. You may want to create an instagram hashtag or hand out cards with a link to Flickr or something, because it’s hard to know who took photos unless they upload them to Facebook. I wish we had set out photo request cards on the tables or something. But what we did to share photos was uploaded our pro pics to a Flickr page and wrote the URL into our thank-you cards, so our guests can print them out at home or at Costco or wherever they like.
I want our guests to take all the pictures they want at the reception. However, we’re getting married in an chapel from the 1600′s and I feel like out of respect they should keep their phones and cameras put away. We may have the minister politely ask everyone to silence their phones but probably will not put a sign up. As other posters have stated I want our guests to be as fully present as possible. At the end of the day I’m sure some people will still take pictures at the ceremony and I probably won’t even notice. I’ll be too busy marrying the man of my dreams. As Mrs. Wallaby suggested we are doing and Instagram hashtag and letting people know about it in advance. I can’t wait to see what pictures come out of the reception.
We’re splitting it, and the info will be on both our website and the programs. Ceremony – everything turns off. It’s a half hour, they’ll deal with it. Cocktails and reception is totally different though, we’re actually encouraging our guests to take pics and send them to us. We’re still working on the wording though, so I’d love suggestions if anyone’s done it!
I’m SO GLAD I’m not the only one who feels this way! I’m actually putting an instructional card in my invitation to explain how to install and join an app to share pictures with me of my wedding!
I made an instagram hashtag for our wedding and put it on mini-moo cards at the tables. I wanted to see not just pics of us but any photos guests took of themselves and friends. I loved looking at them all in one place. My SIL took a photo of my husband and I at the end of the night that I love she titled it “happy groom” it was taken right after I grabbed him and said (rather loudly) I f****** love you. Not my classiest moment but the truth. I love that that photo reminds me of that moment. Also my neighbor took some amazing photos of us at our wedding which allowed me to change my facebook photo long before I will get any professional photos.
I am going back and forth in terms of the ceremony. Part of me does wish those precious moments (the dad-crying one) could be caught randomly by a guest, but I’m moreso in the camp of “if I turn and look out at the guests and all I see are cameras and phones instead of faces, it will ruin my mood.” So I think I’ll likely end up opting for the unplugged CEREMONY.
For the reception, anything goes. I love snapping pics at receptions, and wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d actually be really disappointed if someone told me not to take my own pics at the reception, because then I wouldn’t have most of the pics I have of FI and I looking nice and dressy when we’re otherwise very casual and don’t take pictures together.
HOWEVER, a few moments of the reception I wouldn’t mind being unplugged would be the major ones, like the first dance and cake cutting. It’s so aggravating to have the amateur photogs up there blocking the view of people who are actually trying to see and experience the moment instead of trying to memorialize it for the sake of having the “best guest photo” or whatever.
Am I the only one who feels like those people are always competing with each other?
We’re also doing a “plugged in” wedding. I made an instagram account and hashtag and made cute little signs for tables at the wedding. We’re also doing a photo scavenger hunt and are providing a disposable camera per table in addition to the guests’ own personal camera or phone. I hope we get a lot of fun pictures 
@cbl: This is super encouraging to me! We’re also having a morning wedding. I’m so looking forward to seeing everyone’s pictures… hopefully on the same day or the next morning lying in bed remembering how awesome the day was
@LoveMikey: Awh I’m so glad it was so memorable for you! I would probably do the same if the reception and ceremony were separate… in our case they’re in the same room and it’s a really casual setting, not a church or anything.
@BookishBelle: Ugh I’m going to be waiting SO anxiously for the pro pics! It’s going to be superrr hard for me to wait. I’m hoping the guest pictures make it easier on me 
@anjanette.thomas1: That’s what I”m hoping to get too! How did it work out for you? Did you get a lot of pictures? I’m just worried people won’t use it.
@Yinka: That’s so sweet, and I can just imagine being overcome by tears with your son escorting you down… congrats on what sounds like an awesome wedding!! That’s something I touched on in the second point, I want guests to be able to have those pictures too. A lot of weddings I either never see pro shots or they’re posted months later.
@Mrs. Wallaby: I’m willing to trust our guests to use decorum, and it sounds like your guests did just that! I am planning on having cards, plus there’s information on the website about downloading the app… not sure how many people will do it, but it would be an amazing way to get the pictures super easily.
@Shortbread: Oh I totally agree with having an unplugged ceremony in your situation. Like I said in my post, if we were getting married in a formal setting or a church I would probably do the same. Because it’s a casual lodge and the ceremony & reception are in the same room I tended more towards making the whole thing plugged-in.
@MariContrary: Oh definitely, that would be tough wording to come up with! The picture that I used was one of many if you google unplugged weddings—that might help!
@HiroshymaTetrastar: Our app information is on our website! But because I know not everyone will see it, I’m also putting little cards out.
@DEBeachGirl: Oh I so want to do this! How many pictures did you get? I’m afraid I’ll think I’m going to get a ton but then I’ll only get a few… I feel like other people I know who have tried this haven’t really gotten many pictures out of it.
@Blonde17Jess: I totally understand! About wanting certain moments of the reception unplugged though… I’m not sure you can dictate that. It’s kind of hard to say that everyone has to put their phones away for the cake cutting or whatever. Maybe you could deal with people trying to get a picture by just asking everyone to give the photographer space at that time. That way they can still take pictures… outside of your personal bubble
@xlsm: We’re not doing the disposable cameras because I feel like a lot of guests will have a camera or phone, but we’re definitely doing the rest! I haven’t decided how to make the cards yet. Mini Moo cards are always fun
I am so with you – I want ALL of these pictures. I want the picture you snap of me walking down the aisle in my dress, I want the picture you snap of my flower girls picking their noises, I want the picture of my BMs crying, etc. I totally get the idea behind the unpluggedness and I support it, for those who prefer it. It’s just not for me/us. Like you said, photographers can’t be everywhere, and I want pictures from everywhere.
I’m not going to tell people they can’t use their phones but I will choke someone if it rings during my ceremony!!!!
I completely regret my unplugged ceremony. I’ll be writing about it soon.
Thanks Miss Lemur, my wedding was really lovely, it was worth every moment.
Mrs. Lemur, Greenville, South Carolina Age and Occupation: 22, Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Security Officer Engagement Date: October 9, 2012 Wedding Date: May 2013 Venue: Pleasant Ridge Camp & Retreat Center About Me: I may fancy myself a doctor after too many episodes of House—but in reality I'm finally almost done with my degree in business administration (less than three months left!). My fiance and I met at school in undergrad hundreds of miles away from either of our hometowns and have been happily running and hiking together ever since. We're undertaking a long distance relationship as I finish school and we plan our casual wedding for a day after graduation—needless to say, it will be the busiest and most exciting weekend of our lives so far!
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