The Name Game

My mum’s best friend’s daughter is getting married four months before us. When we got engaged those two got incredibly giddy and started talking about how they would go shopping for mother-of-the-bride dresses together, and help with invitations, and every other thing under the sun that best friends talk about.

But what made me laugh the most about the stories I heard was when my mum asked what her friend’s daughter’s name would change to after she was married.

“Well, I don’t normally beat you on many things,” my mum said to her friend, “but I think I beat you on this one!”

My mum hadn’t even asked me if I were going to take his name, she just assumed. And she assumed correctly.

I hadn’t even thought about not taking his name, if I’m honest. I remember before I met him that I joked about only going out with men with good surnames from then on, and his is definitely a good one. My mum’s friend’s daughter’s fiance’s (wow—say that after a few drinks!) surname doesn’t quite have the Italian flair that my mister’s certainly has.

It’s another thing I’m looking forward to once we’re married. :)


Image via Carlton Adkins Wedding Photography

A friend of mine has debated this subject a bit, first wanting to keep her name, then wanting a double-barreled name, and finally settling on turning her current surname into a middle name so she can continue to use it.

Me? Not bothered about keeping it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my surname—it’s my name. My initials, JQ, are awesome and JP is just, eh. JP doesn’t even look like me. That’s the first time I’ve ever written JP to reference myself…it looks weird. I’ll have to get used to that.

But would I want to keep my maiden name just because I like my initials? Nah. I like the thought of being Mrs P. His Mrs P. And if I have to lose my current surname to be that, then I’m happy.

My mum was an only child, and because of that her maiden name wouldn’t get passed on to another generation. So instead of keeping her name to herself, she gave it to my brother. Her maiden name is now his middle name and my brother absolutely loves it (it’s in his Facebook name and everything), so I think I may follow on that tradition and pass down my maiden name to a child of my own.

Luckily, my maiden name is also a girl’s name (and boy’s?! according to Wikipedia!). Although I’ve never heard of anyone in the UK with it as their first name, a certain character on a very musical TV show in the States leads me to believe it might become popular in the next few years over here, and passing it on to a daughter might be a nice way to keep it in the family.

Did you find it easy to switch over to your new name?


Mrs. Jackrabbit

Brighton, UK
Wedding Date:
September 2013
On a Plugged-In Wedding
Sweet Dreams

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  1. Member
    hlayers 286 posts, Helper bee @ 8:30 am

    My new surname will be Martinez, which is quite different and much more common than my current very European and unique last name. It will be an adjustment but I can’t wait to be his Mrs. and have the same name as his amazing family.

  2. Member
    bretonvirgniia 1656 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:32 am

    I am SO conflicted about changing my last name.

    For one my fiancees last name is Orellana…which I can’t correctly pronounce in Spanish. Also my initials would be BO :(

  3. mswallaby Member
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:41 am

    Teehee surnames…I love British lingo :) I felt the exact same way, and I changed my name a few weeks after we got back from our honeymoon. I still forget to introduce myself as Mrs. Newname, though – it takes some getting used to haha.

  4. Member
    ilikeballet 277 posts, Helper bee @ 8:42 am

    I currently have a unique last name. I used to hate it as a kid, but now I love it. There’s a part of me that’s a bit sad to lose it, but I want to take my fiance’s last name. It’s also Spanish, Molina. I love it!

    To the PP, I love Orellana! It’s beatiful! It’s pronounced o-ray-ya-na.

  5. Member
    BookishBelle 1629 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:45 am

    I’m in the process of changing my name and it sure is weird at the moment…socially I’m Mrs. NewName, but all my credit cards still say OldName, so I never know what to call myself and usually just go by my maiden name to avoid somebody thinking I’ve stolen a credit card! haha. It’s like the awkward growing out bangs phase ;-P

  6. Member
    babbot 586 posts, Busy bee @ 8:53 am

    I’m struggling with this as well, my fmil seemed excited if I took his last name, but it’s not even her last name! She is remarried-lol. She remarried and made her first husband’s last name her middle name, so that she could have the same name as her boys. Interesting huh? I also have 3 1st names, and 2 last right now-complicated, I was thinking I could just hyphenate and have 6 names total, but that is kooky. I dont know what to do. My last name now I LOVE it’s A so I’m always first and it’s also my daughter’s last name, but she’s 18 now-so- I dont know I go back and forth. Its all very complicated.

  7. Member
    babbot 586 posts, Busy bee @ 8:56 am

    @Miss Jackrabbit: ps having received an email directly from you with your name, I think that’d be a great name for either a boy or a girl :) I’ve seen it used a bit here in the states, but not too often. Just once or twice.

  8. Member
    jilleeann 409 posts, Helper bee @ 8:59 am

    My name is like the John Smith of girls, there are so many of us. I’m going from a very common name to a very unique name. I am, however, going to miss my very common name.

  9. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:00 am

    I absolutely loooooove my last name. It’s easy, it very rarely gets misspelled, and it’s famous! Okay, I’ll just say it, my last name is McCoy. I LOVE it. BUT, it’s also very super common, I couldn’t get a gmail address without adding numbers, and if you google me, you’ll find millions and none of them are me. Which is, of course, both a positive and negative… I love my last name, but I still wouldn’t dream of not taking his last name.

    I love the way you put it – “I like the thought of being Mrs P. His Mrs P. And if I have to lose my current surname to be that, then I’m happy.” I’ll never stop being a McCoy, but I’ll really enjoy being Mrs. H too. Because I WANT to be known as his wife, and I want our kids to be known as ours. It’s just a worthwhile change to me! :)

  10. Member
    duckie731 448 posts, Helper bee @ 9:00 am

    I’m lucky, my fiance and I have the same last initial so I’ll stay CM. :)

  11. mstreasure Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:17 am

    If your last name is what I think it is, I know a girl in real life whose named that. I really wish I had a maiden name that could be used as a first name. To me, that’s the best possible compromise.

  12. Member
    hma812 368 posts, Helper bee @ 9:20 am

    I’ve seen your last name used as a first name for both girls and boys. My fiances last name is very very common Mitchell. I am very happy to take it.

  13. Member
    Miss Moxy 223 posts, Helper bee @ 9:24 am

    I have an issue with changing my last name. I am Puerto Rican and my fiance is Irish. I adore my Hispanic heritage and find that my last name is a part of that heritage and to lose it because of marriage bothers me. It’s also my father’s name, and I love my father more than anyone in the world. He worked hard to raise me and I don’t know if I’ll be doing a dishonor to him, my family and my culture by taking a non-Hispanic name. This issue has really gotten to me. And whats worse is that my fiance won’t compromise on hyphenating my names. :\

  14. Member
    bluebelle23 854 posts, Busy bee @ 9:38 am

    I think your old last name is on the short list for girls names on my list. I’ve never seen that show and to be honest, the rising popularity is holding me back from loving it. But if its your maiden name, that’s PERFECT! :)
    Our future son’s middle name is my grandmother’s maiden name. Love it!

    I never really thought about taking his last name until Christmas. Just assumed I would. But I’ve started to get a little weird about it. I miss HS already and I don’t even know HB yet. :/

  15. Member
    cosmo_gmr 488 posts, Helper bee @ 10:41 am

    Oh, I think I know what your last name is! XD
    I love that name!

    I also think that planning on giving your last name to your child is a great idea. I wish things like that could be made in my country. Latin last names sound well, very “last name”. LOL

  16. Member
    fronkinzankinsbride 46 posts, Newbee @ 10:41 am

    Wait, Did your mum win because her best friends daughter will have an awful name or because she isn’t changing it when she marries?

  17. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 10:52 am

    My “surname” starts with an S and newname starts with a G. As a kid at school and pretty much everywhere, I HATED that my name was among the last to be called. I am so pumped to move up in the alphabet! Although I think my dad’s a little sad to lose the name (he has 3 girls).

  18. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 10:56 am

    As soon as I saw ‘Q’ and you mentioned your brother loving it, I had an inkling and you totally confirmed it. I then thought about Daria. <3 Love it – so perfect.

    This was a no-brainer for me as well. 100% all in on the name change and in the interest of full disclosure, I've been practicing writing my new last name for years. 😉

  19. msjackrabbit Member
    msjackrabbit 1080 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:54 pm

    @fronkinzankinsbride: my new name will be cooler than hers 😉

  20. msjackrabbit Member
    msjackrabbit 1080 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:59 pm

    @Mrs. Wallaby: LOL i never even thought that that would be a strange word!! It’s so funny being reminded that we say different things :p

  21. msjackrabbit Member
    msjackrabbit 1080 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:05 pm

    @babbot: Awwww thank you! I’ve never seen it used before, but I like how it is actually a name and not something ‘trendy’. My full name matches well, with it’s similar letters and everything, but I think my new name will match just as well :)

    @Mrs. Treasure @hma812@bluebelle23@cosmo_gmr @StephK527: LOVING how many people have guessed it! Hahaha. That has made me smile lots.

  22. Member
    This Time Round 10219 posts, Sugar Beekeeper @ 1:17 pm

    I am HAPPY to take Mr TTR’s last name.

    This is a BIG Change for me… as I kept my own name when I was married the first time (circa 1980) so this is the first time I’ve changed my name (officially) in over 50 years !!

    I thought my Elderly Father might be a bit weirded out by it… since we’ve shared the same surname forever… but he seems totally ok with it.

    And he likes Mr TTR very very much… they get along famously !!

    I “practiced” on our Honeymoon, by signing all our Cruise Chits as Mrs TTR… Mr TTR and I got a great kick out of it… it was a hoot !!

    To be honest I’m looking forward to making the change official (paperwork still in process) because for me it marks a NEW Beginning.

    Even tho my maiden name was my own, it does remind me waaay too much of the years I spent married to my Ex-Hubby. (NOT a good marriage… he was very abusive… infact one time he told me it was a good thing I kept my own name… because I wasn’t good enough to carry his family name !!)

    Mr TTR doesn’t have a very exotic surname… nor is it is plain-jane… it is just right.

    Because changing is such a novel thing for me, I’m enjoying the idea of getting things monogramed… be it with our Surname’s first initial, my own new lettering, or a combo of both our names in the traditional format *&*. Even just using Mr & Mrs is exciting !!

    All stuff, I didn’t do / embrace the first time round, because we didn’t really “come together as one” in the same way.

    It is an awesome feeling !!

    Yours TRULY,

  23. Member
    Ms_Maple 115 posts, Blushing bee @ 2:02 pm

    I am with you. I can’t wait to change my name and have the same last name as my husband to be. I am having my maiden name be my middle name – I am way more attached to it than my middle name.

  24. Member
    JTT 16 posts, Newbee @ 2:41 pm

    I think I can guess what your surname is too (I’m from the UK originally too) and I love it as a name for a girl or a boy – I wish I could do that with my last name.
    This is the second time I’ll be married and I missed my last name so much last time. This time I’ve decided to make my maiden name my middle name and take FIs last name – I’m with you, I like the idea of being Mrs T :) His surname is more common than my maiden name and I certainly won’t need to spell it for everyone like I do now (especially here in the US because of my accent).

  25. Member
    veggie_rachel 575 posts, Busy bee @ 3:24 pm

    @jilleeann: Me too! I commonly refer to my full name as “the whitest, white girl name ever.” FI’s name isn’t all that strange or unique. He’s the only person I know who has this name, but it’s not exotic or anything. It’ll be strange :/

  26. Member
    skellener 14 posts, Newbee @ 11:35 pm

    To the PP, I love Orellana! It’s beatiful! It’s pronounced o-ray-ya-na.

  27. Member
    pocketfox 677 posts, Busy bee @ 8:36 am

    I’ve decided to hyphenate my name and his name once we’re married. On the one hand, I want to be his Mrs., but on the other hand I have a very unique last name that I love, and I’m an only child with no cousins sharing the last name, so I’m the last person in my family with the name (which is often used in jokes, based on my name). We also plan on passing on the hyphenated name so that it doesn’t die out.

    PS. @Miss Jackrabbit: I think I deduced the last name based on hints, and I love that as a first name! It’s my niece’s first name, and an actor I had the pleasure of working with a few years ago.

  28. Member
    Selaen 64 posts, Worker bee @ 1:55 pm

    I can’t wait to be able to take his name.. Not only because it’s pun-i-licious (for some reason he’s decided AGAINST me having a huge light-up swan as decoration for the top table, or having swans as cake toppers! He just doesn’t get it….), but also because my surname is awkward. I’m originally from Finland, and my surname is very typically Finnish, which is great fun, considering I live in Scotland. I’m constantly spelling my name, and whereas I’ve become a pro at the good old phonetic alphabet, it’s getting a bit tiring. It’ll be just easier to go “you know, like the bird”. :)

  29. Member
    abax 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:23 pm

    I definitely will not be taking my fiance’s last name, considering 90% of folks pronounce it incorrectly, in a very bad way. My first name is Anita. My fiance’s last name is from the German language, and most people pronounce it ‘Blow’. Anita ‘Blow’. No thank you. What would make it even worse is that I’m a teacher. That would be just asking for it. Luckily my fiance couldn’t care less one way or the other.

  30. Member
    abax 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:26 pm

    I definitely will not be taking my fiance’s last name. It’s from the German language and 98% of folks pronounce it incorrectly as “Blow”. My first name is Anita. Anita “Blow”. I-need-a-blow. No thank you. I’m also a professor, which would make the name even worse. Luckily my fiance couldn’t care less.

  31. Member
    abax 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:27 pm

    oops double post, sorry:)

  32. Member
    jordyanna 476 posts, Helper bee @ 10:31 pm

    I’m a bit sad about losing my last name … But, long story short, my last name is hard to spell and pronounce and my fiance’s last name is easy to spell and pronounce! Sooo bring it on!

    And, my fiance has his mother’s maiden name as his middle name as well!!

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