Sweet Dreams

I’m just going to come out and say it. Mr. Whale and I will be spending the night before our wedding together. But shhhh! Don’t tell our parents. :)

Some of you might be surprised to hear this, because you already know we’re not doing a first look. But our reasons for not doing a first look have nothing to do with tradition or bad luck. We just don’t want to see each other before the ceremony. But you know what we do want? A good night’s sleep before the wedding.

This is me when I’m too excited to sleep:

GIF via lolthatsme.tumblr.com

This is what I wish would happen every night when I get into bed:

GIF via disneyallday.tumblr.com / From Monsters, Inc.

I am going to be the biggest ball of nerves the night before. I’m terrified that I won’t sleep at all. Just to give you an idea of how excessively antsy I get, let me remind you that I only slept about two hours before our engagement photos. The engagement photos”¦seriously, who gets so nervous for those that they can’t sleep? During the weekend I went dress shopping, I didn’t sleep more than four hours any of the three nights”¦I was just too darn excited about my dress.

So”¦it will be an absolute miracle if I sleep before my wedding day. And the only way that miracle will occur is if Mr. Whale is by my side the whole night. I can’t explain it, but I sleep better when he is in the bed. I know some people get a little twinge of excitement about getting an entire bed to themselves if their significant other is gone for the night. I am definitely not one of those people.

Even knowing this, I contemplated sleeping apart just for the sake of tradition (and for my parents’ sanity). But then I realized that tradition is sometimes just a bad idea. Rules were made to be broken, right? So I approached Mr. Whale and said, “How would you feel about spending the night together on the night before our wedding?” His response? ”Of course we’re spending the night together. What else would we do?”

I guess we solved that problem.

What are/were your sleeping arrangements on the night before your wedding?


Mrs. Blue Whale

College Park, MD
Wedding Date:
May 2013
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  1. Member
    kelannadc 345 posts, Helper bee @ 2:08 pm

    This is a second wedding, but we’re staying apart. I’m having a slumber party with my girls, whom I don’t get to see very often since we live in different cities. I have the rest of my life to be with my lovely wife. :)

  2. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:28 pm

    To each their own! We are sleeping separately but I’ll be with my sister and bridesmaids. I also don’t sleep when I’m anxious or excited so I anticipate being up all night. And I agree, HATE having Mr. Sword gone during the week when he has to work in KC, I sleep so much better when he’s home!!

  3. Member
    littlebeanpole 1197 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:28 pm

    FI and I are planning on sleeping apart at this point. I think it will be better for both of us! I can get very cranky when I’m nervous and I don’t want to begin the wedding day by snapping at the groom!

  4. Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 3:38 pm

    @Moxie42: Our wedding party is actually coming to town two days before the wedding so that we can spend more time with them. I live far away from all of my bridesmaids, so I’m excited to spend a whole weekend with them.

  5. Member
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 3:39 pm

    Same here Miss Blue Whale! I get nervous/excited when a major event is happening the next day (like if we’re getting on a plane or something) and also have a hard time sleeping. I’m nervous I won’t fall asleep the night before the wedding too :(

  6. Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 3:39 pm

    @littlebeanpole: This is actually part of the reason we’re not doing a first look! Mr. Whale gets a little cranky when he’s nervous, so I don’t want to take a chance that we’ll snap at each other before the ceremony :)

  7. Member
    Teeny287 59 posts, Worker bee @ 3:41 pm

    I mentioned the sleeping apart tradition to my fiance after my mother mentioned it to me. He apparently was unfamiliar with this tradition and thought it completely ridiculous. Needless to say, we will most likely be sleeping together. If I am nervous I will probably purchase a bottle of the Nyquil sleep aid to calm my nerves and have a restful night sleep. We doing quite a bit together anyway–a “couple’s shower” instead of a separate bridal shower.

  8. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 5:31 pm

    You are too stinkin’ cute! hahaha i totally know what you mean about wanting to keep things ‘status-quo’ so you can sleep the night before. FI is going to spend the night before at his parents 40 mins away and I prob won’t be able to sleep…

  9. Member
    skellener 14 posts, Newbee @ 12:25 am

    My sister and I are sharing a bed together the night before my wedding. Her and I shared a bed as kids, and then when she got married her and I shared a bed then too. It was always us getting stuck in a bed with each other when we went on vacations without her husband.

  10. Member
    nikstar 246 posts, Helper bee @ 3:06 am

    we slept together the night before, wait let me rephrase, he slept and i stayed awake all night. i had a panic attack at 3am (about not sleeping), started crying, woke my mum up who was staying with us, skulled some alcohol that i found in the fridge and still no sleep. i can honestly say i did not sleep a wink, i dont know how but i was actually ok on the day and i stayed up until 2.30am the next night. if i could have my time again i would have organised some sleeping pills, i know that sounds extreme but it was my only regret about my wedding, why did i do that to myself LOL

  11. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:30 am

    I feel the same as you. I figure we sleep together every other night, and I want to be as relaxed as possible, which means sleeping with fi!

  12. Member
    may2013wedding 110 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:56 am

    My father who is paying for the ceremony and reception venue adamantly said that we weren’t going to sleep in the same bed the night before… even though we’ve been living together for 3 years! Oh well can’t argue with the pops!

  13. Member
    krislynn_sd 72 posts, Worker bee @ 7:12 am


    Can you please not copy and paste part of my comment? That would be very nicely appreciated if you could have said the same thing in your own words.

    Thank you.

  14. Member
    anemonie 1578 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:19 am

    I am SO glad DH and I spent the night together before the wedding.

    We got a chance to use our bridal suite’s giant jacuzzi, which was really relaxing plus we didn’t have a chance to use it the wedding night. We both slept well because we sleep better together, and there was nothing like waking up to him the morning of the wedding and being, “Oh my Gawd, we are getting married today!”

    We also shared coffee and a light breakfast in the suite as bridesmaids and groomsmen and a few family members started showing up, which was nice because there was a lot of lighthearted joking around to calm my nerves. Then we shared a kiss goodbye until the ceremony. Wouldn’t have had it any other way!

  15. Member
    nifty_geek 22 posts, Newbee @ 10:25 am

    My DH and I slept apart the night before the wedding, but we’re kind of un-traditional in the fact that we technically spent the night of the wedding apart too!

    We got married at a camp about an hour away from our hometown, and when I say camp, I mean bunk beds, cabins, no cell reception and MOOSE. Haha. Instead of trying to cram the two of us in one teeny single bed, we slept in the only cabin that had two bunk beds on the one wall, We slept head to head so we could at least hold hands before we fell asleep! It may not be everyone’s idea of romance but it was perfect for us. :)

  16. Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 10:34 am

    @nikstar: Oh geez. That sounds all too familiar. Maybe I should just get a prescription for a sleeping pill…

  17. Member
    futuremrsdino 73 posts, Worker bee @ 5:50 am

    We’re currently discussing this. As most of my friends are horrified that I even considered meeting my fiance after my hair and make up trial, this will go down like a lead balloon!
    However, I, like you, think I will struggle to sleep before the wedding. Plus if we’re spending a fortune on a posh hotel room, why shouldn’t he get to enjoy it too?

  18. Member
    futurejohnston288 3 posts, Wannabee @ 8:14 am

    My fiancée and I plan on doing the same thing! (P.s.: I’m soooooo not telling my mother until the night before the wedding! Lol)
    I really see nothing wrong wi it! I moved in with my fiancée after a year of being together, so now that its been almost two years I can’t get a good nights sleep without him right next to me. Dare I even say this, but I can’t go to sleep if he’s not snoring right next to me lol.

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