The cake cutting: one of life’s many mysteries. Why do brides and grooms cut cake in front of their guests day in and day out? Why do we feed cake to each other while everyone watches? Why are we expected to smear it on each others’ faces? And most importantly, how the hell do you actually cut a slice out without ruining the whole cake?
A quick trip to Wikipedia will answer the first few questions, but the last still perplexes me.
Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
We got up to cut the cake with our fancy Kate Spade cake cutting set and toasting flutes (I was convinced I wouldn’t have a good wedding/marriage without them, and, while I really enjoyed having them, they haven’t seen the light of day in eight months. So no, you do not need a cake cutting set or toasting flutes. Unless you want them).
The DJ played Cake’s “Love You Madly” during the cake cutting. I chose that song after reading Mrs. Prairie Dog’s recap. I loved that it wasn’t overtly about sugar/sweets, but it still technically related to cake, obviously. And I love that song. As far as I know, no one got the reference.
From YouTube
Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
You can hear in our video that our photographer had to coach us through the cutting itself. I had learned through wedding blogs that Mr. Unicycle was supposed to put his hands over mine while I cut, but that was about the extent of my preparation for the arduous task. I made some pretty awkward faces and managed to mangle the bottom tier pretty badly, but we ended up with enough cake on our plate to feed each other with, so that’s all that counts.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
It didn’t even cross my mind to smash cake in his face. Because I’m nice. But man, sometimes I really feel like smashing cake in his face, and I regret the missed opportunity.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography / GIF by me
There I am doing the ol’ chomp chomp. Isn’t the way I eat graceful and delicate?
After we swallowed our cake, we kissed it out and sipped some champagne. And that was the last alcohol either of us consumed that day.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
Dorks.
So my advice to future brides is to practice cutting a cake together before the wedding. There is literally nothing worse in life than not knowing how to cut the cake at your wedding, so learn from my grave mistake!
And here’s another guest photo, this time of an artful slice of cake:
Lovely. We chose white cake with raspberry filling and it was delicious, as cake is.
Did you know what you were doing during your cake cutting?
We’re not having wedding cake, but instead having pie. I was wondering the same thing on “How the hell do you cut the thing?!” and am glad we are going with a simple peice of pie instead. (Plus, I am not a cake eater. Yuck.)
Haha, the cake cutting itself went well, but I had this “wait, there was a proper way to do this.. how are we supposed to do this again” moment before cutting it. 
Our cake cutting was so awkward! We never even thought about practicing or how to do it, plus I get nervous when lots of people are staring at me 
I also really wanted a cake cutting set and cute flutes but couldn’t ever justify spending money on them. My grandma ended up giving us a knife but not the triangular server thing. We bought flutes from Pier 1 for $2 on clearance. We actually used them for New Years and I’ve had many mimosas in them, haha!
We also didn’t drink much at our wedding. I had part of my glass of champagne and maybe one glass of wine. My husband had a beer and some moonshine (keep it classy, KY!). But I didn’t have to pee all night!
I love your cake topper! Where did you get it!? I have been looking for one that is a bride and groom made of little pieces, rather than the bride and groom figurine!
@croses79: We actually made it! http://www.weddingbee.com/2012/04/16/lego-cake-toppers-2/
I get the distinct feeling that I’ll plan on us practicing the cake cutting, but then get too busy leading up to the day and never do it or discuss how to do it. Oh well, it’s sweet when the B&G are clueless, no? Well, whatever. At least it’s genuine.
I love your champagne-sipping-arms-entwining!
@croses79: @croses79: I saw this one at the Lego store the past weekend, it’s cute. You could even search for different heads/hair if you wanted do so something a little different. There are a million different options out there. http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Figure-853340-Wedding-Decoration/dp/B005XDHNF4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1361997874&sr=8-3&keywords=lego+cake+topper
Thank you so much for the advice on the cake cutter and toasting flutes–I temporarily went on an Etsy spree, favoriting some of these items and then I thought, but will I ever really use this stuff again? Glad to hear it’s not a must-have. Plus we are doing a cupcake tower (with a little cake on top) so there won’t be much to cut anyways!
Also, I think I’ve said this before but your cake toppers ROCK.
Thanks for this post! I love those toasting flutes. Even though we might not ever use them again I think they are a good keepsake and would look great in the china cabinet! And good for you for not smashing cake in each others faces…I always cringe when people do that
That is the kind of cake we have talked about getting! (I just got way too excited about that!)
Haha – such a good point. I made my (tiered, even…) cake and we still did an awkward job of cutting it!
This did not even cross my mind! But now I am going to go home and bake a cake to practice cutting.
As of now, all cake discussions have consisted of me repeating “Seriously, do not smash the cake in my face. I will get super upset. Do not do it.”
Now I can add something new to our cake talks!
Your Chomp Chomp picture is Ah-mazing! lol seriously, love it! I just said chomp, chomp out loud as I watched it! 
haha!
We had 2 cakes a small 3-tier one in Tennessee where we were married and then a huge 4 tier one for our reception in Indiana after we came back from our honeymoon! I didn’t know how to cut either of them! The 1st one was almost frozen b/c the restaurant put it in the freezer from the baker! omgosh… we did not buy the fancy flutes or cutters.
I used a high heel cake cutter I found on discount at Marshall’s! lol http://occasiongiftware.com/high-heel-cake-server
Just like that. and the heel has a magnet on it that slides off. that was as fancy as that was going to get!
Mrs. Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.
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