Hello, hive!
My apologies that my posts so far have been all over the place—that was pretty much where my mind was for the first half of my engagement! Which leads me to my next point—I am halfway through my engagement. Yowsa.
One of the first things we talked about, as with any good wedding planning, was the budget. Now, I don’t have to tell any of you that there are a TON of variants when it comes to the wedding budget—one or both sets of parents pay for everything, plus or minus the couple, there are “wedding funds,” there are loans, and there are couples who pay for the entire wedding completely on their own.
Image via MagnetStreet
When we sat down to look at the numbers, it was so overwhelming that I think I may have blacked out a little bit. You see, we are paying for this almost entirely ourselves. Unfortunately, my parents don’t have a fund set aside for me (I never assumed they did) and they are helping where they can, but my dad lost his job several years ago and they just don’t have the disposable income right now.
As you might remember from my prior post, I knew I was getting engaged soon, so the logical thing would have been to start saving money oh, I don’t know, a year or so ago. Unfortunately, this did not happen.
I have never, EVER been good with money. If I have cash in my pocket, it’s gone. It burns a hole and scalds my skin until I go to Target for a toothbrush and come out with $200 worth of shower curtains, pillows, and dresses instead.
But even my mom says that this wedding budget has been pretty well controlled by yours truly. I get paid once a month, and at the end of my pay period, I put literally whatever is leftover from my personal account into our new fancy shmancy wedding account. The tough part about this is, knock on wood, the unforeseen expenses. Since our budget is sort of a work in progress that gets bigger every month, I can roughly calculate the amount we’ll have by September, but what if (KNOCK.ON.WOOD) something goes wrong? What if my car needs new tires (not likely)? What if Charlie eats a sock and needs surgery (more likely)?
Total side bar: Charlie pretending she doesn’t love to eat socks. / Personal photo
It’s hard to have a firm “budget” in mind when it’s sort of always changing.
Right now, we have enough in the account to pay for the caterer, baker, venue, flowers, and officiant, so at the very least, we have the bare bones for a wedding!
Oh, hive. I stress about this on the reg. I obsess with the numbers and add them and add them again, and write out every category of everything I could possibly have to pay for over and over. I know at the end of the day the wedding will happen and we’ll be married, but part of me can’t help but be materialistic and wish we had a budget of $50,000.
Side bar: I am going to a wedding next month where the price tag is roughly $50k. Will update on that later.
So who else out there has budget woes? How did you handle it? Did you stress?
My FI and I are lucky because a large chunk of the wedding is being paid by my parents and some is coming from FI’s parents. We were also supposed to contribute a large amount and we did up until we both lost our jobs 2 months ago.
This means no trip to Italy and just having a mini-moon, and severe budgeting. It is very stressful and I’m not handling it very well. Frozen yogurt=My Best Friend.
I can’t even imagine a wedding with a budget of $50,000! You’re going to need to post pictures of said wedding 
Big time stress as soon as I started adding up the numbers. I thought my Fiance might pass out when I told him. I at least had some idea as to what we were getting into, he had no idea. There was really only one place we wanted to get married (which is really very reasonably priced as far as wedding venues) but when you are talking about accommodating 150 people it’s going to be expensive. I was obsessed with adding up numbers and looking for other cheaper options. It came down to do we do it here and lower our number or go somewhere else and not get the wedding of our dreams. As I was looking through the menu I realized the lunch menu was half the price of the dinner menu and doing a Fri or Sun was also half of the venue cost. We decided on having our wedding on a Sunday at noon so we could invite all the people we wanted and still have our dream venue. Everything else I have done as much research as possible to get the best price possible but still something we love. A friend is doing flowers with a local wholesale flower grower. I am trading the photographer for her work. All paper products are free downloads or purchased through Etsy. The cake is the only thing that we are paying full price for. We didn’t have a set number when we started just decided what was really important for us and what we could live without.
Yep…. stressing over every dime of it. I think I’ve done well finding really good deals on everything… but I’ve been shocked at how much photographers, venues, etc. all cost.
It’s amazing how the little stuff adds up, too.
I’m lucky that our parents are paying for the bulk of it, but I still worry about the budget all the time. I’m used to worrying about our personal finances on a daily basis, so it just seems natural to stress about wedding money. Plus I feel some guilt about letting the parents spend so much even though they can afford it, and it’s still a very small budget for where we live. Hunting for deals and DIYing when I can helps ease that guilt.
OMG such a cute dog!!!! Haha girl I am the same way. Expert Target shopper here. And sadly for Mr. W, we are about to move into a new house 6 blocks from Target!
UGH! Totally there with you but over in Raleigh instead. I’m stunned by the cost of hair and makeup! I’ve heard of taking the e-ring off when you go and just say you are one of the bridesmaids or that you are just needing a style for the day 
I am so stressed over the budget I have had thoughts of why aren’t we just eloping…but that’s just a silly thought
We are paying for our wedding almost entirely ourselves as well… and right after we got engaged in Jan our dog tore her (doggy equivalent of) ACL… the vet told us that most likely she would tear the other within a year or two… nope, not our dog – she tore the other one barely 6 months later 
– That was $5200 we hadn’t planned on spending on her that has had to come out of our wedding. So fingers crossed you don’t have any issues because I know how bad it sucks!
Oh, wedding budgets! We luckily had a firm/fixed amount, but we played with the numbers so that we could still have the wedding we want and not stress about money. 75-80% of our budget went to food, venue, alcohol, etc. All of the other things we did on the cheap. All of our decor cost less than $500. It’s possible to pull off a nice wedding on a budget.
I’ve also been to a wedding where the price tag was $75K. They also had twice as many people as we did, but our wedding was just as lovely for about a quarter of the price.
I hear you about unforseen costs… I got my phone stolen and had to shell out 500$ for a new one. The following month my car started breaking on the regular, and I found out it needed 1500$ worth of repairs… The month after that, I had to get a root canal. Also 500$ none of which was covered under my insurance… All in all, it`s been close to 3k that just evaporated since Christmas instead of going toward the wedding. Here is hoping you don`t have any nasty surprises!
I know we all know it, but don’t forget that the cost of the wedding has no bearing on the strength of the marriage. Some of the biggest weddings I’ve been in were followed by very short marriages, sadly. I keep reminding myself of that!
That said, it can be very stressful to see how quickly the budget is eaten up by the key things that are important to you!!! But, it’s fun to find ways to save on things, particularly when that forces you to work together with your groom on creative solutions. 
(Yes, I’m a saver by nature… )
Target is such a budget breaker. I’ve had to avoid Target as much as humanly possible during our engagement. I used to get bored on a Saturday and spend hours walking around and end up with things I definitely didn’t need.
For us saving for this wedding has been a blessing in disguse. We have figured out that we CAN save money. The key is taking it out of your bank account into savings as soon as you get paid. I schedule the transfers in advance so it’s gone within a day or two of getting paid. Of course, I account for all my bills as well. We use ING which is now Capitol One 360. You can create as many sub accounts as you want. I created one for the flowers, band, venue..etc. It’s nice to see each of those funds growing and a small victory when you have enough to pay the vendor in full. We’re also earning money on the accounts and they are joint accounts. I can transfer into them and my fiance. We each said we’d save 10K for the wedding and we’re almost done. Now that we know we can save we’ve also started a house fund, emergency car fund and Christmas fund. We do like $25-$50 in each when we can and the money has added up fast.
Of course, I wish I had rich parents to pay for our wedding but I will be so proud to say we paid for it and didn’t go into any debt as a result.
First time round (circa 1980)… My Parents paid for most of my Wedding. And honestly I didn’t have a clue how much all that cost (about 100 Guests and a sit-down meal).
My Ex-H and I covered… ALL the Wedding Stationery (and related Postage) – Photographer & Pictures – ALL the Flowers (and there were many) – the Minister’s Fee – Clothing for the Flower Girl & Ring Bearer – Misc Wedding Accessories & Decor – Accommodations for the Bridal Party – Gifts for the Bridal Party – the Bridal Luncheon – Cocktail Hour & Wine with Dinner at our Venue – the DJ – and of course The Honeymoon.
It took all the money we had saved for the year of our Engagement… but at the same time, I don’t remember it being a HUGE hardship for us either.
This time round…
Mr TTR and I chose to elope. Lol, but it was no quicky Wedding in Vegas for us.
We combined our Annual Christmas Holiday and our Winter Getaway into one big 5 week Pre-Wedding Trip & Honeymoon. It was AWESOME… the longest vacation (most time off) either of us has ever had.
We began our adventure with a tour of the Southern USA… and ended it with the Caribbean Cruise we had pre-booked a year earlier… but “pampered it up” to become our Honeymoon. And somewhere “in the middle” we got married in The Keys.
Combined with a Back Home Reception Party when we returned… the Budget was “substantial”. BUT it was exactly what we wanted to do, and to mark this point in our lives.
Lucky for us, we are in a point in our lives with very little debt… so we could make this Trip of a Lifetime.
Lol, altho I have to say that the “reality” of throwing even a small Reception was a bit of a surprise… we did have an INCREDIBLE time with our Friends & Family so it was well worth it.
Lol, I probably spent more for my small evening event of Cocktails & Nibbles – Cake & Champagne for 50 than My Parents did 30+ Years ago for a sit-down Dinner for 100 with all the trimmings.
Congratulations on your engagement and making it half way!!! I was engaged the same month as you were and am getting married the same month as well. Also, my parents had the exact same circumstances. It’s funny as I was reading it I had to check to make sure I hadnt had too much wine last night and started posting!
Anyway I know exactly how you feel all the way from the west coast!
The first half of this engagement has been STRESS STRESS STRESS, figuring out how to make everything work out on a super tight budget and trying to stretch a dollar as far as it can posssssssssibly go. Im imagining a dollar in some kind of crazy yoga pose right now.
We’ve been thrift store shopping for silver centerpieces that we polished back to life at home, have designed and will be printing and constructing the invitations ourselves. And are very fortunate to have talented friends that are pitching in: DJs, my boss will be ordained and the officiant. Limiting our guest list. And actually I’m renting my gown, I get a beautiful dress that will be ordered new and tailored to fit perfectly for half the price!
Through all of this we are finding that when there is a will there’s a way! My biggest fear was for everything to look super cheap and a bit too DIY. But everything is turning out amazing and I know yours will too! <3
Just hide the socks from the puppy, take a break from numbers and wedding planning and go on a date with your FI and remember just exactly why you're doing this. In the end its about you and your soon to be husband, as long as you are both happy and dont make yourselves miserable over numbers it will be ok.
In the meantime, enjoy a bit of frozen yogurt!
xox Best Wishes
I use this really amazing tool on Weddingwire that I love! We estimated that we wanted to spend a total of $12k on our wedding, no more. So I put the total in wedding wire’s budget calculator and was pleased with how it broke it up. I removed the items we weren’t going to have and it allows you to distribute the funds to a different part of the budget that maybe is too low for the amount you spent (which is my case for my coordinator lol)
I’ve stressed a little going through it, but my fiance has told me countless times he is so happy I found that budget calculator. I’m less crabby.
I am glad I am not the only one who adds up the numbers over and over again. My parents are paying for most of the wedding… I do feel bad though because my dad is using his 401k money. So I’ve searched high and low for deals on things… I am splurging on my dress and photography… But yes, I do the same thing and stress and stare at my excel spreadsheet over and over to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything…
Don’t stress too much… it will hurt your health (trust me I KNOW!)
haha don’t worry about your target problem. My FI refuses to even go into target anymore because I spend crazy amounts of time in there when we go and spend to much money. To bad for him, we have already racked up a lot of target gift cards as wedding gifts (but I have no problem picking stuff out with them if he doesn’t want to go!).
For our budget, we had a hard amount that was given by my parents (about 60% of our wedding budget), my grandmother (about 20% of our budget) and my future in laws (about 10% of our budget). My in-laws are also covering the rehearsal dinner entirely which I picked the venue and have let them plan it from there… they are spending way more on that dinner then I would have. The remaining 10% is being covered by my FI and I (which isn’t bad, includes our rings, wedding license, and small things like DIY supplies, gifts, etc). Overall, I feel pretty proud of what we have done with our budget. We have gone slightly over what we anticipated (which luckily our parents slightly increased the original amount they gave me) but are being very reasonable in what we are spending. A good friend of mine spent 28,000 last year on a wedding in the same town as me and our wedding is going to be just as nice (hers was a country club, ours is a nice hotel, they did plated we are doing buffet, however, our food options are a lot more “fancy”) and our wedding is cost less than half of her wedding!
@Miss Lemur: I feel like EVERY wedding I have been to has cost at least $50k…and while they have been fun, I never thought they were worth that price tag. I guess it all comes down to regional price differences.
@Miss Lemur: Ohhhhh gosh. I am so excited, I can’t wait. The invitation said “elegant cocktail attire” and Cam said – um, I don’t think I own that. HA!
@mylittleviolett: You are my soul sister. I ADORE frozen yogurt.. which does not bode well of my wedding diet. Also, I have a post coming up later about my honeymoon woes, but suffice it to say I sympathize with you
@kellylee: I am SO with you! I have gotten a lot of stuff off of etsy already, or tried to recreate it myself (somewhat) successfully. I think we are probably going to do the digital download route for invitations, but we are still working on that.
Oh man! We have done a similar thing to you – calculated what we could save and ‘hoped’ we’d have that amount by the end (using our parents as back-up in case something went wrong and we’d pay them back).
But you know what unexpected things CAN happen? Bonuses. And new jobs. And other crazy things that you never imagined. Just keep your positive thoughts and you’ll be fine x
Miss Camera, Charlotte, NC/Charleston, SC Age and Occupation: 27 & Emergency Room Physician Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31 & Newspaper Editor/Designer Engagement Date: October 7, 2012 Wedding Date: September 2013 Venue: The Island House, Charleston, SC About Me: I'm a north-to-south transplant, currently living in Charlotte, North Carolina, but still representing all things Pittsburgh, PA. One month after I moved to NC, I went on a date with a guy I met on Match.com, and now we're getting married! I work in a busy Emergency Room as a Physician Assistant and while the hours are sometimes difficult, I can't see myself doing anything else. I live with my fiance in uptown Charlotte. We have an opinionated 5 year old tabby cat named Milo and a sweet, but rambunctious 8 month old mutt named Charlie (short for Charlotte - she's a girl!). I've embraced Southern culture, and our wedding is no exception---what better location than Charleston, SC? I watch too much TV and know every word to every episode of Friends (I've watched The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding at least a hundred times...hope I have enough money for Wedding Scenario A!). I love baking cupcakes, cheering for the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penn State Nittany Lions and am openly addicted to celebrity gossip and pop culture.
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