I’ve talked about fighting with your fiance during wedding planning, but there is another person who you can just as easily fight with—your mother.
There are many things a mother and a bride could fight about—budget, the dress, or your mother just taking over in general. I have been lucky as my mom is a wonderful woman who is in no way a “momzilla” and lets me be me. She was never dead set against a wedding dress and happily agrees with most of my ideas. There is, however, one thing that my mother and I did not see eye to eye on. One thing that lead to a huge fight in front of our venue coordinator. Mean words were spoken, eyes were rolled, and insults were hurled.
What was this fight about you ask? The budget? The guest list?
No, it was about the number of chairs at cocktail hour. Yes, we had a fight about chairs.
She wanted none and I wanted enough for everyone. My mom thinks that cocktail hour is for socializing and people will want to walk around. I think that people, especially women in heels, would like to sit. We fought for a couple of minutes until our venue coordinator cleverly suggested we get half the number of chairs of the guests we invited. We both compromised and decided on this. Afterward we made up, but I could not believe that out of all the things we could fight about it would be something as trivial as chairs. What is it about weddings that brings out the crazy in us?
After much thought I believe it is this: You want people who come to your wedding to leave feeling a certain way. My mother wants people to leave the wedding feeling that they had a fun time. Her idea of fun is mingling with people (mingling with people is my idea of hell on earth). I want people to leave my wedding feeling as if they have been taken care of and were comfortable the whole time thanks to me, the gracious hostess. Neither of these ideas is wrong, we just have very different visions; and though we have very different visions most of the time they still match up. Having your guests feel like they are being taken care of and having your guests have a fun time are not that different when you get down to the core of what your goals are.
If you want to avoid fighting with your mother or with whomever you are planning your wedding, have a discussion about what you want your guests to feel like after the wedding. This may be a real eye-opener into what priorities you both have.
Our American wedding is just a few months months away, and I am sincerely hoping that there will be no more fights.
Is there anyone out there who had fights with your mother? Was it over something as trivial as chairs?