Groom’s Grief

When I talked to you before about Sparky’s wedding day clothing plans, I mentioned that he is a classy dude with strong opinions about clothing. This has not changed throughout the course of wedding planning and, in fact, may have even heightened his awareness of it.

So, what I’m writing about today is something we who are involved in wedding planning are aware of: regret. Except, instead of me having dress regret, Sparky had tuxedo regret.

Yes, my beloved groom second guessed the custom-made tuxedo he purchased. It’s endearing that he cares so much, and it makes me laugh.

When he first mentioned it to me, he did so with hesitation. “I think,” he told me, “I’m unhappy with my tux.”

So I asked: what was it that was wrong and what could we do to fix it?

He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was that he didn’t like beyond a vague “it doesn’t fit right.” This was after two rounds of alterations and it basically came down to the fact that the Brooks Brothers’ tux was not as slimly cut as he would have wanted.

The how do we fix it boiled down to trying on more tuxes to see if he could find one he liked better.


Hugo Boss Stars/Glamour


Our first stop was Neiman Marcus. We would have gone to Nordstrom first, but we already knew from previous experience that their in-store tux selection left something to be desired. So Neimans is was, where Sparky was able to try on three different tuxes. Two were crazy expensive (I’m looking at you, Armani tuxedo), but the Hugo Boss was reasonably priced and cut in a more modern style (that means slim for those of you who aren’t up on men’s fashion terms).

After Neiman Marcus, we tried J Crew. Sparky owns several versions of the J Crew Ludlow suit and so we knew the tuxedo version would look great on him.


Ludlow Tuxedo


The Ludlow had the added benefit of being offered in an odd size (39R), which was great because Sparky is, apparently, in between sizes.

Sparky also ordered a tux from Gilt, since it was on sale and returnable.

This tux was by Martin Greenfield and I was initially surprised that Sparky liked it because it has a shawl collar (and Sparky is decidedly anti-shawl collar). Though when it comes down to it, a shawl collar tuxedo is quite different than a shawl collar sweater.



I also insisted that Sparky put on his own tux and get “groomed up.” So he put on his tux, suspenders, fancy shirt, cufflinks, shoes, and bow tie and modeled it for me.


I certainly hope he smiles more than this on our wedding day.


Apparently this is a thing, but I don’t really understand how this pose shows of a jacket (sleeve length maybe?)

Ultimately, Sparky decided on the Martin Greenfield tuxedo. Since it probably isn’t obvious from the photos, as soon as he put it on, he started grinning. I knew before he even put on the full deal that it made him happy. He was glowing. When we went into the lobby of our condo building to take pictures, he gave me a big smile and said, “This is what it’s supposed to feel like, right? It’s like your dress. I just don’t want to take it off!”

Anyone else with a super picky groom? Did anyone else ride the wave of tux/suit regret? Does anyone’s groom need a tuxedo in size 40R (because we have an extra!)?


Mrs. Campfire

Seattle, WA
Wedding Date:
September 2013
The One With the Dirty Booze
A Highland Fairy Tale: We Begin With Important People Processing

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  1. Member
    BookishBelle 1629 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:28 am

    6 months later my husband still has the hugest suit regret! He complained about it from almost the second after he purchased it, up until the wedding, and then we got the pictures back and he complained about it some more. Anytime he sees somebody in a suit on tv he goes “His suit is better than mine”…I kept telling him to stop bitching and go get a new one if he was so upset, but did he? Of course not. Sigh.

  2. Member
    chelle-lee 236 posts, Helper bee @ 6:47 am

    My future groom hasn’t shown any signs of tux regret, but has shared in all of the wedding planning- that is after the planning was done. He originally said “this is your thing, you plan it” and I wasn’t offended, as that is how most men would act when given the opportunity to help plan. Once the planning stage was complete, and I starting putting my plan into action, he become inquisitive and everything has changed from the color scheme, to the location. Thank goodness nothing was booked yet! And when I ask him what his thoughts are on something and he tells me he doesn’t care, as far as the wedding goes, I know now to wait. He’ll get back to me on that. I think it’s cute and endearing, but I told him if we had an actual wedding planner, he or she would have quit by now.

  3. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:56 am

    Oh geeze, I could totally picture my fiance having suit regret… he’s super picky/particular as well! You’re a much better woman than I am, though, because I’ll probably freak out on him if he buys more than one suit!

  4. Member
    This Time Round 10219 posts, Sugar Beekeeper @ 7:08 am

    Great post.

    For our Elopement / Destination Wedding on a Beach (just the 2 of us). I ended up with very much a “Beachy / Destination Wedding” Dress (there is actually a whole section of Bridal Salons now dedicated to this sector).

    Mr TTR was fretting over what he would wear. Half joking in the beginning he told me shorts & his flip flops 8-} *rolls eyes*

    I envisioned him in Dockers & a White Shirt (and I was ok with the Flip Flops… it is a sandy beach after all).

    In reality, we spent quite a few hours one day on our Pre-Wedding Trip in Myrtle Beach at a Tommy Bahama Store… where he tried on a variety of nice shirts & pants. In the end he went with solid Cream / Ivory Silk Pants and Shirt (cut in a very boxy Hawaiian style). Gotta admit he in solid Ivory alongside myself in my Ivory grown looked great… lol more so, when it was all teamed up with his Chocolate Flip Flops.

    I do understand the Tux issues tho that Sparky faced. Mr TTR bought a tux a few years ago, and that was a very drawn out process… him wanting to get it “just right”… (gotta love men who love clothes, self-grooming and the way they look). So I get the whole checking the cuff-length pose…

    It is true, a man looks great when he is in a properly fitted suit / tux. Improper fit, and well he can look frumpy. Not a good look, and certainly not for something as important as a Wedding.

    In the end, I couldn’t be happier. Our Wedding pics turned out great. And the tux he wore on our Honeymoon… and YES D@MN he looks maah-vaaa-lous in it. My very own James Bond !! :-)

  5. campfire Member
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:30 am

    @BookishBelle: I’m sure that is what would have happened!
    @Chelle-Lee: Isn’t it funny when that happens? “I don’t care” usually means “I’ll have a preference later.”
    @Blonde17Jess: My first question was definitely “Can you afford to buy another one?” He could, and I am really happy that he’s happy. He looked good in the Brooks Brothers tux but he looks GREAT in his Martin Greenfield tux.
    @This Time Round: Woohoo! Yeah, Sparky looks fabulous in his new tux. It’s amazing the difference it made!

  6. mswaterfall Member
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:11 am

    Oy, reading this reminds me of all the grief brother GM gave me about his tux. He basically would have liked it to be painted on! I feel for his poor future bride someday!
    However, I will say that Sparky looks very suave, it’s so cute to see men care more than us about fashion :)

  7. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 12:56 pm

    He looks great, I’m glad Sparky will feel 100% on your wedding day!

  8. campfire Member
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:04 pm

    @Mrs. Waterfall: Suave is a good way to describe him. :) I don’t think he wants to have it painted on – but he definitely wants it to fit well!
    @Mrs. Pony: Thanks! I’m glad, too!

  9. gondola Member
    gondola 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:07 am

    He looks awesom. It’s good to hear that guys and can go through the same day as us when it comes to wedding day attire.

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Krista, Guest @ 5:40 pm

    Lookin’ good, Sparky! Thumbs up!

  11. campfire Member
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:44 pm

    @Miss Gondola: Thanks!
    @Krista: I definitely approve, too!

  12. Guest Icon Guest
    MikeTV, Guest @ 11:12 pm

    Good looking suit! If you don’t mind me asking, how tall is Sparky? I just ordered a Martin Greenfield tux from Gilt, and I wanted to compare. I’m 6’2″ and orded a 40L. Thanks!

  13. Member
    MikeTV 1 posts, Wannabee @ 8:35 am

    Good looking tux! If you don’t mind me asking, how tall is Sparky? The reason being that I just ordered a Martin Greenfield tux from Gilt. I’m 6’2″, and ordered a 40L. Just wondering if I ordered the correct length. Thanks!

  14. campfire Member
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:37 am

    @MikeTV: Sparky is 6’0″ and he ordered a 40R. All he needed to do was hem the pants!

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