As soon as Mr. Wellies and I finished our celebratory dinner, we called our family and friends to share the good news. Reactions to our engagement were mixed, to say the least. Some people didn’t understand why I was the one who had proposed.
“Why didn’t you wait for him to ask?”
“Women do that nowadays?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” (I took this to mean they thought I was pregnant and it was going to be a shotgun wedding.)
Others were incredibly supportive: shouts of joy, offers of congratulations, and (a blessed reprieve) absolutely no judgment.
When I decided to propose, I knew the response from our friends and family wasn’t going be 100% positive. One conversation even involved someone trying to talk me out of it, and I hung up the phone in tears. I understand that it’s very traditional for the man to ask the woman; anything that strays from convention isn’t easily embraced. Still, it hurt that some of my loved ones weren’t immediately happy for me. I couldn’t help but wonder: Would everyone have been ecstatic if Mr. Wellies had been the one to propose?
Despite the conflicting responses, Mr. Wellies was thrilled, and that’s what matters most. He said it took a huge weight off his shoulders; since we were going to start looking for a house in the near future, he had been worried about finding the time to plan a special proposal. The fact that I decided to propose took away the guilt he felt for keeping me waiting.
After informing them of my plans to propose, a family member encouraged me to do whatever I thought was fitting for us as a couple, and that’s exactly what I did. Looking back, the proposal was everything I wanted. I can truly say I have no regrets. As for Mr. Wellies? “All I can say is that it was wonderful.”
Have you made a major life decision without support from your friends or family?