A Highland Fairy Tale: We Get Slagged Off

This post starts with a Scottish vocab lesson. While I’m pretty sure “slagging off” is not exclusively a Scottish phrase, I’ve only ever heard Mr. Sword and his mates use it. However, maybe Miss Jackrabbit can enlighten us about the rest of the UK ? When I first met Mr. Sword I was always caught off guard with his weird phrases (for example: knackered = tired, baltic = freezing cold), and this one was no different. To slag someone off is to insult them. Who knew? It always sounded way dirtier to me.

After attending to the cake, we made our way to our lovely sweetheart table to get royally made fun of during the toasts.


More crazy Mrs. Sword faces!

These crowns in front of our table were a great addition and given to me by a friend of Mom Sword. We ended up sitting in front of the wrong crown for the firsts half of the evening though, oops. I was convinced I was in front of the queen’s but I was actually sitting in front of the king’s. Sorry Mr. Sword, you were right!

The toasts at our wedding were phenomenal. I feel like this part of the night can be very nerve-wracking for brides and grooms because it’s a part you have no control over. We weren’t worried and not only were the toasts lovely and heart-warming, but they were also wicked funny and full of jokes at our expense (said with love, of course!). I won’t include the full transcriptions here because it would get too long, but I do have one video to share at the end of this post.

Up first, Dad Sword!


His toast was beyond funny. He made fun of Mr. Sword for being a Bears fan (I come from Viking country after all!) and told a story from when I was little about how I’d cry every time he left the room and how much he got a kick out of that. Dad Sword told Mr. Sword I can be a bit clingy and asked him if I cry when he leaves the room as well? I laughed so hard. Mostly cause it’s true. 😉


Traditionally only the FOB does a speech, but Mom Sword didn’t want to let Dad Sword have all the fun, and she nailed it with her 15 second quip informing Mr. Sword that, after years of me calling her with life’s stressful problems, it was now his turn to deal with it all and guess what? TAG, YOU’RE IT!


Seems to me she’s a bit too excited to pass on the torch! :)


Next up was my lovely Sister, MOH Big Eyes, who said some really sweet things including what a saint Mr. Sword is to not mind that I put up personal detail after personal detail about him on my blog. She also made fun of me because the first time Mr. Sword and I met and exchanged phone numbers, I told him I don’t call boys, boys call me. I swear I didn’t mean it in a rude way—just that I was too nervous to call him, but I guess it didn’t come across that way! And now it’s a source of entertainment for everyone in the family.



Our Best Man S gave the best Best Man speech in the history of best man toasts. He was hilarious and slagged off Mr. Sword a good amount, but then he ended with a poem that was absolutely beautiful. We actually had many guests rave about this toast and we ended up paying our videographers extra to have the whole thing on film.

Best Man S is also the reason we needed to have a screen and projector set up in the reception room! HIS TOAST HAS VISUALS, HIVE. The speech is about eight and a half minutes, but I guess in Scotland they can go on as long as 30 minutes, and anyway, I think it’s totally worth watching if you have time.

Did your family and friends knock their toasts out of the park, too? Are you comfortable getting slagged off and made fun in front of everyone you know?

All photos by Crystal Liepa Photography.

sword-wedding-footer-final-jpgSword Wedding footer FINAL.jpg

Skipped some of the Sword saga? It’s OK, catch up today!

Teaser video!
Final preparations, snow, and tears!
Ladies’ Luncheon!
Elevators of anxiety!
Rehearsing and screaming!
Burgers and surprises!
Kisses at midnight!

The Big Day
Bacon for bridal baby!
Hair and makeup!
Men in kilts!
Tiara and bouquet!
Becoming a bride!
Champagne toasts!
First look!
Cold couple portraits!
The Swords with swords!
The men pose!
The women pose!
Altogether now!
Elevator madness!
Big reveal!
Family photos!
Posing with our flower girl!
True Scotsman indeed!

People processing!
Bridal cry/laugh walk!
Ceremony readings!
Vows and handfasting!
Receiving line!

Cocktail hour!
The pretty details!
Grand entrances!


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013
Gallery of the Day: August 14, 2013
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  1. Member
    ms_purple 2675 posts, Sugar bee @ 6:19 am

    I’ve spent a lot of time in the UK and have heard all of those phrases before throughout England (where I was born) while visiting family. :)
    Whenever I hear them here in the states it makes me miss my family there. I can’t wait to see them next spring for my wedding!

  2. Member
    ms_purple 2675 posts, Sugar bee @ 6:22 am

    Also I had to add my FI is a Bears fan too! As well as a Cubs fan. We live in Wisconsin, so this does not go over well with Packer Fans. Honestly, I don’t think that goes over well with anyone besides other Bears fans. LOL

  3. Member
    superduperbrit 2466 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:24 am

    Cute! Also, I’m a happily married lady now but I feel that this needs to be said…woah buddy at that accent. Yes, so much yes. XD Does your hubby have an accent too? You go girl, lol!

  4. Member
    MaryRachel 307 posts, Helper bee @ 7:22 am

    Honestly, I figured you were exaggerating about the speech, but I’m just sitting here eating breakfast so I watched the video anyhow. WATCH IT PEOPLE. It’s hilarious, really the best BM speech I’ve seen.

    Your toasts look like so much fun it makes me wish I was at your wedding!

  5. wellies Member
    wellies 1425 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:02 am

    Such a great speech! I loved the Scotch tape bit. 😀

  6. mswaterfall Member
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:16 am

    That speech was awesome! I love hair chart!
    I loved it all! What a great speech!

  7. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:39 am

    @Ms_Purple: Glad to know it’s UK lingo! Yea, Packer country- boo! :)

    @SuperDuperBrit: The hubby does have an accent! It’s pretty sexy unless he gets angry or crabby, then it just makes me laugh cause he sounds ever MORE Scottish. :)

    @MaryRachel: LOVE YOUR COMMENT. Thanks! It was seriously so much fun, everyone thought the toasts were amazing, we felt so lucky/happy!

    @Miss Wellies: Haha thanks Wellies, Me too!

    @Mrs. Waterfall: I know, the hair chart! Ridiculous but so true, good thing my hubby looks good with a buzzed head. :)

  8. Member
    splodge2003 1013 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:19 am

    Baltic = brass monkeys down in the south of England, as in “it’s brass monkeys outside”. Probably something to do with Cockney rhyming slang :)

    I’ve had to look up so many phrases you use in the US whilst reading these boards!

    Great recap :)

  9. Member
    pixiestix6089 60 posts, Worker bee @ 12:01 pm

    Oh my goodness, what a speech! That was awesome! And that accent…oh that accent. Your wedding has been so incredibly beautiful, Mrs. Sword! Can’t wait to see what’s next!

  10. Member
    lealorali 4827 posts, Honey bee @ 1:57 pm

    Awww you look so happy and entertained! I am a little jealous. My husband’s BM/brother gave such a HORRIFIC speech. Let’s just say it included stories of a broken nose, college shenanigans, and DWI’s.

  11. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:35 pm

    @Splodge2003: haha, no doubt it goes both ways!

    @pixiestix6089: Thank you so much! haha, accents are so fun. I can’t wait to share more!

    @lealorali: Ugh, what a bummer!

  12. Member
    futuremrssarah 439 posts, Helper bee @ 5:15 am

    I’m from Gibraltar (British) and we use knackered as really tired and slagging off as insulting too! I never really considered that Americans didn’t use those terms (an I have quite a few american friends) … never knew it was a brit thing haha.

    PS …. ahh I love Scottish accents! (Northern Irish too), shame I have a far more boring accent :/

  13. graywolf Member
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 1:58 pm

    omg, LEGIT speeches.

  14. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:13 pm

    @FutureMrsSarah: Right, it happens often that my hubby says something and I’m like, What does that even mean?!?! Yea, Scottish accent is awesome!

    @Mrs. Gray Wolf: haha I know, right?

  15. Member
    Miss_Mimosa 190 posts, Blushing bee @ 11:12 am

    I could not stop laughing at that Best Man speech. It was fantastic!

  16. msjackrabbit Member
    msjackrabbit 1080 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:55 am

    OMG I’ve just seen this! Yup, ‘slagged off’ is a great phrase!!

  17. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:35 am

    @Miss_Mimosa: yay, thanks!

    @Miss Jackrabbit: Love that you just saw this, and yes, such a good phrase! :)

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