This post starts with a Scottish vocab lesson. While I’m pretty sure “slagging off” is not exclusively a Scottish phrase, I’ve only ever heard Mr. Sword and his mates use it. However, maybe Miss Jackrabbit can enlighten us about the rest of the UK ? When I first met Mr. Sword I was always caught off guard with his weird phrases (for example: knackered = tired, baltic = freezing cold), and this one was no different. To slag someone off is to insult them. Who knew? It always sounded way dirtier to me.
After attending to the cake, we made our way to our lovely sweetheart table to get royally made fun of during the toasts.
More crazy Mrs. Sword faces!
These crowns in front of our table were a great addition and given to me by a friend of Mom Sword. We ended up sitting in front of the wrong crown for the firsts half of the evening though, oops. I was convinced I was in front of the queen’s but I was actually sitting in front of the king’s. Sorry Mr. Sword, you were right!
The toasts at our wedding were phenomenal. I feel like this part of the night can be very nerve-wracking for brides and grooms because it’s a part you have no control over. We weren’t worried and not only were the toasts lovely and heart-warming, but they were also wicked funny and full of jokes at our expense (said with love, of course!). I won’t include the full transcriptions here because it would get too long, but I do have one video to share at the end of this post.
Up first, Dad Sword!
His toast was beyond funny. He made fun of Mr. Sword for being a Bears fan (I come from Viking country after all!) and told a story from when I was little about how I’d cry every time he left the room and how much he got a kick out of that. Dad Sword told Mr. Sword I can be a bit clingy and asked him if I cry when he leaves the room as well? I laughed so hard. Mostly cause it’s true.
Traditionally only the FOB does a speech, but Mom Sword didn’t want to let Dad Sword have all the fun, and she nailed it with her 15 second quip informing Mr. Sword that, after years of me calling her with life’s stressful problems, it was now his turn to deal with it all and guess what? TAG, YOU’RE IT!
Seems to me she’s a bit too excited to pass on the torch!
Next up was my lovely Sister, MOH Big Eyes, who said some really sweet things including what a saint Mr. Sword is to not mind that I put up personal detail after personal detail about him on my blog. She also made fun of me because the first time Mr. Sword and I met and exchanged phone numbers, I told him I don’t call boys, boys call me. I swear I didn’t mean it in a rude way—just that I was too nervous to call him, but I guess it didn’t come across that way! And now it’s a source of entertainment for everyone in the family.
Our Best Man S gave the best Best Man speech in the history of best man toasts. He was hilarious and slagged off Mr. Sword a good amount, but then he ended with a poem that was absolutely beautiful. We actually had many guests rave about this toast and we ended up paying our videographers extra to have the whole thing on film.
Best Man S is also the reason we needed to have a screen and projector set up in the reception room! HIS TOAST HAS VISUALS, HIVE. The speech is about eight and a half minutes, but I guess in Scotland they can go on as long as 30 minutes, and anyway, I think it’s totally worth watching if you have time.
Did your family and friends knock their toasts out of the park, too? Are you comfortable getting slagged off and made fun in front of everyone you know?
All photos by Crystal Liepa Photography.
Skipped some of the Sword saga? It’s OK, catch up today!
The Big Day
Bacon for bridal baby!
Hair and makeup!
Men in kilts!
Tiara and bouquet!
Becoming a bride!
Cold couple portraits!
The Swords with swords!
The men pose!
The women pose!
Posing with our flower girl!
True Scotsman indeed!