The Evolving Guest List

When we sent our save the dates I thought we were done with the dreaded guest list. We had our list drafted for a while, cross-checking Facebook with daily interactions and whatnot. We thought of everyone and then had the hard part of deciding how big our list could be and how many people we needed to cut.

We originally wanted to give a plus-one to everyone, but as space issues started to worry me we decided to only give them to known relationships. When all was said and done our guest list had 158 people on it. Our invitations go out in just a few weeks, and I am finalizing all the bits and pieces, which is simultaneously stressful and cathartic.


Image via someecards

Well, as everything in wedding world seems to go, things aren’t so simple. In the last week we have added six people (three couples) to the list. Six! We are already way over capacity (now inviting 164 when our venue seats 120), and adding three invitations is really going to cut into my wiggle room.

How did we manage to add six people in a week? I am responsible for one couple and Mr. B is responsible for the other two. My person is a friend who I see and hang out with pretty regularly, and I am really not sure why she wasn’t on the original list. Every time Mr. B and I hang out with her we leave saying to each other that we need to invite her to the wedding. I finally got sick of the regret and decided to save a seat for her and her sort-of fiance. I really do hope she comes—she is a lot of fun and I love having her around.

Both of Mr. B’s were people he thought were on the list that actually weren’t. We were at dinner last week and he mentioned so-and-so not being sure if they could come, and I pulled up our guest list on my phone and informed him so-and-so wasn’t expected to come because they weren’t invited. Oops! Add two to the list. Pretty much the same story for the next couple, but at least Mr. B realized what he did and told me before he could mention it nonchalantly in conversation.

So how does one make oneself feel better when they are facing a guest list of 164 and a venue that seats 120? Go through the list person by person and try to guess who will and will not come. We came up with 84 definite yeses, 42 maybes, and 38 definite nos. This made me feel so.much.better. Don’t get me wrong—I want (almost) everyone we invite to be able to attend. But my mom’s second cousin who doesn’t know me from Adam? I most certainly won’t be disappointed to open that “no” RSVP. There are a few people we know aren’t coming who I am said about (Bridesmaid Bosox’s husband, for one), but life is life and I will get over it.

With only two weeks before invitations go out (!!!) I think we are finally final. I can’t be the only one out there with last-minute additions. Did you add people? Did you think about it but decide it was already final and move on?


Mrs. Bicycle

Tallahassee, FL/Savannah, GA
Wedding Date:
October 2013
Classifieds: August 14, 2013
Maps, Revisited: Table Numbers
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  1. mspalmtree Member
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:02 pm

    Another one for @Miss Camera‘s comment. Also, even though you don’t ever want to think this, there will inevitably be the a-holes who RSVP yes and then don’t show (UGGGGGGH). I’m sorry that there have been so many last minute adjustments but hopefully you’re finally final! :)

  2. msbicycle Member
    msbicycle 718 posts, Busy bee @ 6:40 am

    @Mrs. Waterfall: That’s what I always heard and it is proving to be true!
    @icanhearyousmile: Same page :)
    @Lone Star: Ugh, I hate that people think they can do that!!
    @Miss Camera: Haha, I know – I am sort of prepared for that…

  3. Member
    Beltacular 51 posts, Worker bee @ 9:59 am

    I thought I was done with my list too, but after STDs and invites went out, people started dating other people and now want plus ones. I am at my max venue wise (inviting 240 for something that seats 200) but don’t want to look like a jerk. I think in the end, you should be good number wise, but I think no matter what everyone does concerning the guest list, there is always going to be that nugget of “oh we should have done this…”

  4. Member
    11sasha11 407 posts, Helper bee @ 6:38 pm

    I am glad I am not alone. My FI says he thinks I am the only one who is hoping people will not come. That is not true. I love my friends and family. I want many of them to attend. But it is horribly hard to plan and estimate a budget when the yes guest could be as low as 80 and as high as 120. See many are out of town or family that we do not see often. So we will see.

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