D’oh!

Have you ever felt as high as kite and then everything came crashing down a few seconds later? Well that happened to me a few days ago. I came home, checked my mail box, and was thrilled to see a wedding RSVP card. I was disappointed to see it was a “NO,” but it was from Mr. G’s uncle who is a doctor and couldn’t take the time off. I happily walked up the stairs in wedding planning bliss when I turned over the RSVP card to see a very strange stamp. It was not one of the floral stamps we used for the invitations, but a stamp of a cat. A stamp I had never seen before. My stomach dropped and I had an awful realization: I had forgotten to put stamps on our RSVP cards. Granted, I made only six RSVP cards for our older guests, but still I forgot to put stamps on six cards which means six of Mr. G’s relatives would have to go and buy stamps. My eyes started to get watery. I told Mr. G and he immediately calmed me down, but a few minutes later I realized that this one particular invite was from Mr. G’s uncle whose wife is, I hate to say it, quite a snob. She would look at my mistake of forgetting a stamp as a major faux- pas. I imagined her sneering at me the next time she saw me and I would forever be known as the niece-in-law who forgot to put a 50 cent stamp on the RSVP card. I ended up lying on the couch and crying for a few minutes.

The stamp that brought on tears. And yes, Japanese stamps are really that cute.

I’m a very organized person and I have a Type A personality that compels me to color coordinate my closet and write a to-do list everyday. When it came to wedding planning I was determined to be as organized as possible, but even with all of my organizational skills I’m sad to say that I’ve made so many mistakes in the process. In just making my invitations alone I forgot to add the RSVP deadline and the price of the after-party. I also forgot to stamp our Japanese invitations with our return address stamp, which meant that we had to leave the post office, go home, stamp them, and then go back to the post office.

To most people, these mistakes sound trivial, but when you’re planning your wedding these mistakes can sometimes seem huge. You usually only get one chance to do your wedding and it’s easy to feel that these mistakes will last forever. I would live in fear that when people think of our wedding they would only remember the mistakes, but through this planning process I have learned to just let go of the mistakes. I’m human and mistakes are inevitable.

If I were to give advice about how to avoid mistakes it would be:

1) Don’t isolate yourself in your planning and reach out to friends and family for help. This is quite difficult for me as I live in Japan and there is a 13 hour time difference between me and my family, but fortunately I have the hive for lots of support.

2) Get professional help if you can. I’m very glad that I will have day-of-coordinators for both weddings. I can leave all the planning and inevitable mishaps and mistakes to the professionals.

How do you come to term with the fact that you made a mistake in your wedding planning? For me it has been cardio and wine”¦lots of wine.

In making all of these mistakes I’ve also learned patience. If my fiancé made a mistake like forgetting to pay a bill, or picking up his wedding shoes I’d get extremely upset, but not anymore. I understand what it is like to have lot on your plate and forget a few things, no matter how organized you are.

Did you make any mistakes while planning your wedding? Please tell me that I’m not the only one.

For those of you who are married, did you have any mistakes or mishaps at your wedding? How did you handle it afterwards?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Gondola

Location:
Kyoto
Wedding Date:
December 1969
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  1. Member
    MrsM914 639 posts, Busy bee @ 9:07 am

    I could barely get people to return RSVP’s with stamps ON them already! Haha! At least they sent it back.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    rucinda, Guest @ 9:34 am

    I agree with devinthebrave, I had the HARDEST time getting people to mail the self addressed and stamped envelopes back to us! That being said, if you only sent these to older guests, chances are that they have stamps on hand anyway.

  3. Member
    Almost Mrs.P 2056 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:15 am

    This is a great reflection on why these things are so upsetting– that we only get one chance so of course there’s tons of pressure to get it right. I’ve been struggling with how some of this becomes overwhelming when it seems so ridiculous when you take a step back. But, this is a good perspective on why.

  4. Member
    vanessa7 436 posts, Helper bee @ 10:16 am

    For a while, I debated even doing RSVP cards because traditional etiquette says that guests would know how to properly reply to an invitation and a self-addressed reply card might insinuate that they don’t know how. Just some perspective!

  5. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:57 am

    Awww. I have already made a mistake on our Save the Dates, because I put our wedding website on them, but I really SHOULD HAVE put the wedding app website that doesn’t exist yet. I figure I’ll add a link from the website on the STDs to the wedding app site and put a card in the envelope with the STD and with the invite. Oh well. It’s not perfect, but there are going to be plenty of other mistakes too, I’m sure. It happens.

    The stamp is cute, sorry it made you cry!

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    ykyegbride, Guest @ 11:37 am

    I’m with you – I forgot to put a stamp on one – ONE – RSVP card out of 150, and I was so incredibly upset. THe people I did it to are friends of my parents, and lovely people, so I think I’m just going to give them a stamp at the wedding as a funny little joke!

  7. Member
    keraniluna 14 posts, Newbee @ 12:10 pm

    I had a different invitation-related issue – after I put our return-address stamp (which is an ink stamp, not a sticker) on the envelopes, I didn’t leave them enough time to dry and many of the envelopes ended up with smudges on w addresses from being stacked. I ended up reprinting a bunch of envelopes – as many as we could reprint without having to order more envelopes! I have been learning to roll with all the issues – there are bound to be some, and ultimately, at the end of the day you should enjoy the wedding planning process as much as you can!

  8. Member
    jetsetter 535 posts, Busy bee @ 3:10 pm

    I can totally understand where you’re coming from – especially when dealing with a family snob! Also, that stamp is freaking adorable. At least it was only 6, and not 84!! ;)

  9. Member
    rucksack 518 posts, Busy bee @ 8:03 am

    Oh I so understand. While it won’t seem like a big deal after the wedding, all of the little things leading up felt like such huge deals. My woopsie was that I totally messed up our wedding website address on our invitations! Only one person said anything about it (not like I could have fixed it anyway…) but I not only felt like an idiot, I was pissed that I spent money on a website that nobody could see!

  10. Member
    gondola 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:35 am

    @devinthebrave: I know how you feel! I’m learning that no matter what you do or how easy you make it people will not RSVP. The only people who have RSVP’d for me so far are women who have already been married.
    @rucinda: I thought the same thing- about older people already having stamps. All of the people I sent them to have housewives for spouses so I figure it wouldn’t be too much trouble.
    @Almost Mrs.P: Thank you so much. I feel you really have to take a step back and see that in the grand scheme of things these little wedding mistakes don’t amount to much. Its hard to remember sometimes though.
    @vanessa7: I’ve never heard of that before. So are self addressed envelopes a new thing? I always thought they were the norm. Good perspective though, maybe people wont feel so offended that I forgot to put on a stamp.
    @Blonde17Jess: I’m so glad that I’m not the only who is making mistakes. I’m sure your’s will turn out just fine!

  11. Member
    gondola 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:39 am

    @ykyegbride: Do it! I think that would be hilarious! I may do that at my wedding. Thanks for the idea!
    @keraniluna: It is so easy to forget to enjoy the wedding planning. I got to learn to roll with it too. I also had a problem with my return address stamp. I let my fiance do it and he stamped them all crookedly. I just let it go.
    @Miss Jet Setter: Thank goodness it wasnt 84. I may have had a stroke! Japanese stamps are so cute by the way. My city gas’ company always uses Hello Kitty. It makes me love living in Japan!
    @Mrs. Rucksack: That’s awful! Were people able to figure out the address so they could figure out the website. I hope so!

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