Have you ever felt as high as kite and then everything came crashing down a few seconds later? Well that happened to me a few days ago. I came home, checked my mail box, and was thrilled to see a wedding RSVP card. I was disappointed to see it was a “NO,” but it was from Mr. G’s uncle who is a doctor and couldn’t take the time off. I happily walked up the stairs in wedding planning bliss when I turned over the RSVP card to see a very strange stamp. It was not one of the floral stamps we used for the invitations, but a stamp of a cat. A stamp I had never seen before. My stomach dropped and I had an awful realization: I had forgotten to put stamps on our RSVP cards. Granted, I made only six RSVP cards for our older guests, but still I forgot to put stamps on six cards which means six of Mr. G’s relatives would have to go and buy stamps. My eyes started to get watery. I told Mr. G and he immediately calmed me down, but a few minutes later I realized that this one particular invite was from Mr. G’s uncle whose wife is, I hate to say it, quite a snob. She would look at my mistake of forgetting a stamp as a major faux- pas. I imagined her sneering at me the next time she saw me and I would forever be known as the niece-in-law who forgot to put a 50 cent stamp on the RSVP card. I ended up lying on the couch and crying for a few minutes.
The stamp that brought on tears. And yes, Japanese stamps are really that cute.
I’m a very organized person and I have a Type A personality that compels me to color coordinate my closet and write a to-do list everyday. When it came to wedding planning I was determined to be as organized as possible, but even with all of my organizational skills I’m sad to say that I’ve made so many mistakes in the process. In just making my invitations alone I forgot to add the RSVP deadline and the price of the after-party. I also forgot to stamp our Japanese invitations with our return address stamp, which meant that we had to leave the post office, go home, stamp them, and then go back to the post office.
To most people, these mistakes sound trivial, but when you’re planning your wedding these mistakes can sometimes seem huge. You usually only get one chance to do your wedding and it’s easy to feel that these mistakes will last forever. I would live in fear that when people think of our wedding they would only remember the mistakes, but through this planning process I have learned to just let go of the mistakes. I’m human and mistakes are inevitable.
If I were to give advice about how to avoid mistakes it would be:
1) Don’t isolate yourself in your planning and reach out to friends and family for help. This is quite difficult for me as I live in Japan and there is a 13 hour time difference between me and my family, but fortunately I have the hive for lots of support.
2) Get professional help if you can. I’m very glad that I will have day-of-coordinators for both weddings. I can leave all the planning and inevitable mishaps and mistakes to the professionals.
How do you come to term with the fact that you made a mistake in your wedding planning? For me it has been cardio and wine”¦lots of wine.
In making all of these mistakes I’ve also learned patience. If my fiancé made a mistake like forgetting to pay a bill, or picking up his wedding shoes I’d get extremely upset, but not anymore. I understand what it is like to have lot on your plate and forget a few things, no matter how organized you are.
Did you make any mistakes while planning your wedding? Please tell me that I’m not the only one.
For those of you who are married, did you have any mistakes or mishaps at your wedding? How did you handle it afterwards?
- Nursery School Teacher
- Wedding Date:
- December 1969
- With You Kyoto/ Hollywood Beach Golf Resort