(I promise that blog title will make more sense in like 10 seconds.)
While the room finally started digging in to dinner, MOH Henna and Mr. A’s best man got started with the speeches. Best Man Chopper went first, and I prepared myself for the unexpected.
He started off by introducing himself and saying how he and Mr. A have been friends since junior high school, and then made his way to the center of the floor with a bible in hand. I had no idea what to expect, since Best Man Chopper is kind of a wild card and a total jokester, but I was totally ready to hear what he was going to say.
He started off with “Doesn’t Mrs. Armadillo look beautiful tonight?” to which everyone cheered and clapped. And then he followed it up with, “And doesn’t Mr. A look beautiful tonight?” Everyone laughed, of course, and then he continued.
He said something about feeling it was only natural to use the bible in his best man speech that night, at which point our pastor, who was sitting just a couple of tables over, started belly-laughing, which got the whole room going again. Best Man Chopper said something like, “Let’s look to the bible to see what it says about marriage,” and then turned jokingly to Ephesians 5:22, and began to read aloud. For those of you who don’t know what that says, here’s a snippet:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Needless to say, there was a mixture of boos and laughter, and in that exact moment, Best Man Chopper’s speech was infinitely hilarious. Because as everyone who knows us knows (even Best Man Chopper) Mr. A’s and my relationship is very much a 50/50 partnership. Sensing the reaction from the crowd, Best Man Chopper quickly continued through the rest of the paragraph, where it talks about husbands loving their wives as they love themselves and etc., etc., etc. Once the room calmed down and he got ahold of himself, however, the speech turned a bit more sentimental.
“In all seriousness, though, I love both of y’all to death, and you’re perfect for each other. I wish you tons of happiness.” At that point, he raised his glass, and we were toasted!
MOH Henna went next, and I was ready for the waterworks.
Unlike Best Man Chopper’s speech, MOH Henna’s was much more sentimental, and much more emotional. She started off talking about how when we were kids we always were dreaming up crazy schemes and making plans for the future. But, she said, there was one thing we always knew and always mentioned all the time; and that was that she would be the maid of honor at my wedding.
She did a great job, got both of us to tears, and at the end, everyone clapped. She’s my cousin and my best friend forever, and I am so lucky to have such an amazing woman and confidante in my life. I miss her to pieces every day!
Once the toasts wrapped up, it was time to hit the dance floor for the first time as husband and wife!