Other Things I Didn’t Think I Cared About: Videography

Can I tell you guys what one of my favorite things is? It’s crossing tasks off my to-do list. Sometimes, I even write down things I’ve already done just so that I can have the satisfaction of crossing them off.

Anyway, by now, we’ve booked most of our major vendors, and as I’ve crossed them off my list (I have this book, which I bought when I got engaged and only really use for all the lists), I keep getting smacked with reminders that we haven’t booked a videographer. In fact, I don’t even know if we’re going to book one at all. But I want to figure it out, if for no other reason than for me to experience the sweet feeling of crossing all video-related tasks off my to-do list.

Like pretty much all things wedding-related, a good videographer is seriously expensive. When I think about how much I could spend on a videographer, and what else I could do with that chunk of change, it seems silly to blow it all on a video. I could take that money and add some awesome extras into our reception that all our guests could enjoy, whereas a video would be solely for our benefit.

Plus, I can pretty much guarantee that I wouldn’t watch it. I mean, maybe once just to see how it turned out, but I don’t anticipate many future viewings. We weren’t really a home movies sort of family, so it’s not something I’m used to doing. And I’d feel super awkward watching it anyway—I imagine it would be like hearing your phone voice times a million. (Does anyone else have a really weird, annoying phone voice, or is it just me?)

And yet, the sentimental side of me can’t let it go. As far as milestones go, this will be a pretty big one. It will be one of the few times in my life when all our friends and family will be together. Wouldn’t it be nice to have it recorded for posterity? Are photos enough to capture everything from the day? Everyone tells me that the wedding will fly by; what better way to relive it and savor each moment than by watching it on video?

My parents don’t have a wedding video, but I wish they did—I’d love to watch it. Same for the older generations of my family. This is going to sound so morbid, but my loved ones won’t be around forever; to have everyone captured on video could mean so much to me a few years down the line. Maybe it’s something my future progeny would enjoy watching.

And then there’s the age-old excuse that I’m only getting married once, so I’d better do it lest I regret it. I feel like regret is the cornerstone of the wedding industrial complex—you’d better spring for _________, or you’ll feel nothing but regret for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. That’s an awfully long time to be kicking myself in the ass for foregoing a wedding video. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to move on from it. (Do I adequately convey sarcasm, or should I keep throwing in parenthetical asides?)

When done right, a wedding video can be absolutely incredible. Just check out Mrs. Wallaby’s; hers is one of my favorites. I’m just not sure if, in the grand scheme of my budget, I can make it a priority. And if I can’t do it properly and hire a videographer worth every penny, I’d rather not do it at all.

What do you think, Bees? To video or not to video? Am I really going to regret not going for this?


Mrs. Filly

Boston, MA
Wedding Date:
April 2014
Bamboo for Two: The Reception Details
S'more Love: Just Us
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  1. Member
    jennyg34 52 posts, Worker bee @ 6:40 am

    LOL! I hate my phone voice- and the few videos I’ve seen of myself just freak me out entirely! We didn’t do a videographer for our wedding, and I only slightly regret it. We had NO room in our budget- so it really wasn’t an option for us. We’re savoring our wedding pictures even more, b/c of this.

    All of that being said, here’s another side to it…. my father passed away unexpectedly a little over a year ago, and I am beyond thankful that my sister bought a Flip cam (is that what they’re called?) when her daughter was born, and was able to capture my Dad on film when we all came together for the birth. (she was born about 10 months before his passing) Little did we know what would happen, and since we were not a home video family either, we didn’t have much video of each other up to that point. I cherish those videos now, because they captured not only his physical appearance, but his mannerisms, his voice, his laughter, and his personality. I will be able to show them to my future children, and that is priceless, beyond what any picture can portray.

    So! Sorry to have gone down a somber path (I really didn’t mean to, but I had to make my point)- the bottom line is, if you CAN afford a videographer- I say, DO it. You or your future children will cherish it down the road more than you realize. This, I can assure you!

  2. mswallaby Member
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:43 am

    Aw thanks for the shout out, that’s so sweet! I think you should make sure to have a friend or family member record the ceremony on a DSLR camera or a decent video camera – something that will be able to record the sound and won’t be too shaky. Video wasn’t a high priority for me (it’s more of my DH’s thing), and if you ask me, hours of footage of the reception is kind of meh. But you may want to re-watch your ceremony again – especially because it does fly by, and you may not remember any of it. The ceremony is what really matters, right? We re-watch our video all the time – probably at least once a month (we’re old saps; plus a couple of our guests have since passed away and it’s nice to see them on video) but we usually fast forward to the ceremony :)

    Totally agree with you about regret and the WIC – the industry preys on couples’ guilt complexes to trick them into spending way more than what they’re comfortable spending, or even buying something they don’t want to begin with. Ugh.

  3. Member
    nadnuk 1566 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:02 am

    One low-cost option that will still capture the moments (not quite professionally) is WeddingMix. http://www.storymixmedia.com/weddings/
    They send you 2 or 3 flip cameras and you give them out to responsible people who are in charge of capturing the ceremony, cake cutting, first dances, funny moments, etc. Then either you can mix them or have the company edit & splice them into a video for you.

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    ykyegbride, Guest @ 7:05 am

    I also couldn’t justify spending a huge chunk of my budget on videography. So, I borrowed my dad’s video camera (just a standard home-video one), and enlisted the help of my tech savvy cousins – an 18 yr old – to record the ceremony.

    Is it perfect? No, there is some shaky filming, and some of the floor and some quick pans.

    Was it worth the price of $0? Absolutely. We’ve watched it twice at family gatherings, and it captured all of the most important parts. I think with a little bit of editing, it will be the perfect memory of the day, without breaking the bank.

    I would totally recommend going this route – just pick an assertive person who doesn’t mind sitting in the front row, or standing in the aisle. You should be golden.

  5. mspalmtree Member
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:12 am

    Did you read about Mrs. Mongoose’s or my experience with videography? I know we were both SO pleased with WeddingMix (http://www.storymixmedia.com/weddings/). I highly recommend it. Super cost effective and a fun, unique and original take on videography.

  6. mspalmtree Member
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:14 am

    Also, maybe check out Mrs. Snow Cone’s post about videography (http://www.weddingbee.com/2012/06/05/wedding-regrets-videographer/#axzz2llUHXfHc).

  7. Member
    whitemochi622 633 posts, Busy bee @ 7:25 am

    As someone in the communication/design field, videography is a big deal to me. (A film like the one you posted–not just a shaky video on a tripod.) Video captures moments that photography can’t bring back to life, in my opinion–like saying your vows! And a well-edited film WILL be something I will want to watch again on an anniversary and share with people who couldn’t make it to my wedding. I still watch FI’s sister’s video!! Haha. But like you, I didn’t have the budget to spend $5000-6000+ for an experienced cinematography team for just one day.

    So, we’re hiring an up-and-coming team that is just getting started… for a FRACTION of that cost. We’re flying them in from California, but with their very low cost, even with travel it was a couple thousand lower than the lowest company we found in New England (with the quality we wanted, at least). And their video style is exactly what we wanted. It took some effort to find them, but they exist, especially if you research outside your local area.

    Find someone who just graduated from school and needs portfolio experience, for example. Most major universities have film or communications departments. Talk to a professor or staff member there to inquire if you could place a wanted ad or if they know of anyone who could do this as a starter project. Many students already have DSLR cameras for videography or photography, or could borrow the school’s equipment, and would love the opportunity for a project like this. Just a thought!

  8. Member
    jessc4343 219 posts, Helper bee @ 7:25 am

    @ykyegbride: +1 and to add to her idea: ask that same person – or a social butterfly – if they’d mind doing a video guestbook of sorts. We asked our incredibly flamboyant officiant to go around (after cocktail hour started, of course) and just ask them to leave a message for the B&G. One of my bridesmaids helped out and started asking people ideas on how to spice up our marriage or to keep the love flowing (or are those the same?!) The messages & answers – especially as the night wore on, are pretty great!

    The quality is awful (it was dark and he only had his cellphone flashlight to use, lol) but the sentiment is priceless. Having these little clips is absolutely better than nothing!

  9. Member
    kit_kath 1327 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:51 am

    We’re just having a family friend tape it. Like you I don’t see myself watching it often, so spending a ton on it seems silly. But I do like the idea of there being a video for our kids or grandkids to see. So classic home movie style it is. A it’s free.

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Lone Star, Guest @ 8:06 am

    Trust me. If you don’t get one, YOU WILL REGRET IT. I wasn’t going to get one either, until my Mom insisted. Boy I’m glad she did. My husband and I watch it every anniversary, and it just comes flooding back. I have video of speaking of the vows and the precise moment my MOH realizes she forgot the ring in the getting ready room (it’s HILAR). These things can’t be captured on photos. Please, please, please, please do this.

  11. Guest Icon Guest
    Lone Star, Guest @ 8:07 am

    p.s. I know the WIC is misleading and thinks things are must haves when they are not. But besides the photos, the wedding video is the only thing you will have for decades. Not flowers, not dress, not shoes, not food, not wine, the video is the only thing that will last and last. Seems to be a good thing to spring for, in my opinion, value-wise.

  12. Member
    ellemm005 172 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:32 am

    We’re debating video as well. I don’t think we’d watch it often, but I’d love to be able to go back and see our vows or hear our loved ones who might not be with us in a few years. I’m considering WeddingMix but I’m not sure if it will be what we need.

  13. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 8:43 am

    Just do it, even if you don’t hire a professional and ask family members or friends to record the important parts you’ll be glad you have those special things recorded if you ever want to relive them. (said by someone with zero video from her wedding which always makes me a little sad)

  14. Member
    SarahCF 539 posts, Busy bee @ 9:20 am

    I got married last month and I can’t WAIT to get my video back. It was a last minute decision to get it and I’m glad we shelled out for it. At first we thought it was an unnecessary expense since we have an awesome photographer. But then I started thinking about the ceremony, how fast it would fly by, and how I would want to re-live it over and over again. I knew I’d be too caught up in the moment to really hear the organ, or to look at the pews at everyone who showed up, or really think about everything the priest was saying, or study every detail of my husband’s face as he was saying his vows. There was just too much going on for me to be able to take it all in and seal it into my memory.

    At the reception it was even worse – we had a great time but we were pulled in so many different directions that we didn’t even get to see everyone who was there, see how our tablescapes turned out, or take in any details that we worked so hard on. I’m anxious to see the video to get the guests’ perspective on the party.

    What really sealed the deal was that one of my grandmothers wasn’t able to attend. I really wanted to be able to send her a video so she could see me get married. And, as others have said, you do want video footage of you with your loved ones because there will be a day when they’re no longer here, and you’ll cherish that video.

    I do think I’ll watch the video off and on throughout the years. No, it won’t be like when I was a kid a wore out my Dirty Dancing VHS tape, but I do think we’ll watch it. I’ll watch it a few times the first year, maybe on our anniversary. I’ll watch it with friends and relatives who weren’t there and might want to see it. I’ll watch it with our kids and grandkids. If my parents had a wedding video I would have loved to watch it! Maybe I’ll watch it if I”m angry at my husband and want to remember what’s important.

    So I say go for it. If you can’t or don’t want to shell out the big bucks for a pro, at least have a friend take a video of the ceremony. If you can get something done for free, there’s really no reason not to.

  15. Member
    mill 357 posts, Helper bee @ 9:40 am

    For my brother’s wedding my Mom came across a videographer who was just starting up and talked her in to just filming the wedding and giving us raw footage- no editing. She charged a few hundred bucks for her time and said if they ever wanted it edited down the road they could contact her and pay her for that portion. Maybe you can find someone willing to do something similar? Then you at least HAVE the footage and maybe get it edited down the road as an anniversary present or something? I definitely think it’s worth having though! No video is the one big regret I hear from people!

  16. Guest Icon Guest
    Meghan, Guest @ 9:44 am

    Video was not something I thought I’d feel strongly about, until I was actually engaged. Then I went to bat for it with my DH. We ended up compromising and getting a “discount” videographer – literally the lowest priced one we could find. It was totally worth it, we both agree. We love having our ceremony on tape, and have watched it multiple times since the wedding.

    Our family loves seeing it, and it’s a lovely complement to our photography. As a cost-saving measure we went with the lowest level package, with no pre-ceremony footage and no coverage of the full reception – the videographer left after a couple of songs and the cake cutting.

    I highly recommend some form of video to everyone.

  17. Member
    agrinste1 88 posts, Worker bee @ 10:54 am

    I’ve read a few bridal regret posts, and one of the big things always seems to be not having a video of the big day. As one bride put it, a picture can show you laughing with your new husband, but a video tells you WHY you were laughing. I got lucky–my photographer used to work in television so she has experience with shooting and editing film, so she and her team will be doing both for us for a ridiculously good price!

  18. Guest Icon Guest
    Alex, Guest @ 11:36 am

    We had a videographer booked for our wedding (long story short, he mixed up the days and didn’t make it). I almost cried on my wedding day when I realized he wasn’t there, I cried after the wedding, the next day, and almost on the honeymoon. There were so many things I couldn’t wait to see. My family was on it and video recorded a ton for me, but missed a lot of the beginning. I couldn’t wait to see my mom walk down the aisle and all my bridesmaids, not to mention my adorable flower girl. The videos they did get I watched a ton. I cried watching the father-daughter dance and laughed during the cake feeding. Then I found out that a friend of the family took videos of the beginning. I watched it and cried even more ( I know, I was emotional). It is worth it! There are parts that you miss that you actually get to see when you have a video. I would at least do the thing that Mrs. Mongoose did with renting them.

  19. msfilly Member
    Mrs. Filly 827 posts, Busy bee @ 4:46 pm

    @JennyG34: @Mrs. Wallaby: @nadnuk: @ykyegbride: @Mrs. Palm Tree: @emeraldz12: @jessc4343: @Kit_Kath: @Lone Star: @Lone Star: @EllEmm005: @Mrs. Pony: @SarahCF: @Mill: @Meghan: @agrinste1: @Alex:
    You guys, thank you all so much for your input – it looks like you were really all on the same side here, so I wanted to tell you all at once what we’re going to do. One of our groomsmen has a younger brother who is a film student, and he had initially offered to film our wedding as a gift to us. We turned him down because we wanted him there as a guest to have fun, not to work. We reached out to him again after this post went up, and he will be taking care of this for us. So thank you all so much – I knew you wouldn’t lead me astray :)

  20. mswaterfall Member
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:07 pm

    I’m so glad you’ll have some video after all! Mr. W and I initially thought we could forego the wedding video, and I’m so glad that we didn’t! Even though we didn’t have a lot of room in the budget, we found a cheaper videographer who still delivered an amazing video, and we’ve watched it a bunch! It’s so nice to have the best moments captured on video. You won’t regret having a video, for sure!

  21. Member
    lynnielou33193 767 posts, Busy bee @ 5:56 pm

    I thought we wouldn’t either but then we caved :/ lol oh well it will be nice for the out of town guests too

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