Bamboo for Two: A Tender Moment Goes Awry

At some point during the reception, I went over to our parents to say hello.  My parents and PBear’s parents had gotten to know each other over Thanksgiving, and had gotten along really well. Thus, I thought it made sense to seat them together for the reception.

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Photo by Lisa Rigby Photography

Have I ever told you how much I love my MIL? Because she is seriously one of the sweetest women ever. I am so lucky that my Ils rock.

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Photo by Lisa Rigby Photography

Either way, she started talking about how wonderful it was to finally welcome me into the family officially even though they had thought I was part of the family for years and I started to just bawl.

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Photo by Lisa Rigby Photography

It was so incredibly sweet and wonderful. It’s hard to put into words what was going through my mind. The wedding day is so full of emotions, you’re announcing to the world you’re in love, and you’re just so happy to see everyone, and everyone is there visibly supporting you. Everything was exactly how I hoped it would go, it was just perfect.

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Photo by Lisa Rigby Photography

I can’t decide if I’m happy or not that our photographer caught this moment on film. I guess it does help make the story complete.

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Photo by Lisa Rigby Photography

In my fit of tears, I wiped my eyes and did one of the pretty crazy horrible things that you could do on your wedding day (and quite possibly one of the only disasters I didn’t prepare for!):

I lost my contact in my eye.

What started off as a very tender moment kind of ended up being a pretty awful experience. I guess it would have been one thing if my contact fell out and I had to wear glasses for the rest of the night, but it was a complete other thing to be able to feel my contact in my eye when I blinked, and not be able to get it out or be able to see half of our smiling guests.

There aren’t many pictures of me after this point, quite frankly because I was half squinting for the most part and feeling quite miserable. Needless to say, I spent a good chunk of my reception in the bathroom, trying to figure out how to get it out of my eye.*

Furthermore, we still had the cake cutting left to do and not that much longer on our photographers time. Thus, I was completely frazzled and scatterbrained when my photographer and my coordinator got into a fight.

I’m not going to get into the details of the fight because well, I wasn’t there, and while I have gotten the he said, she said versions of the fight, I would prefer not to take sides on the issue but rather stick to how it affected me that day and the days afterwards.

It was crazy to see two people that we really liked, and had great experiences working with, butt heads with each other. But honestly, what continues to play over and over in my head is that I feel awful and guilty because the fight happened due to a miscommunication that I could have, should have, prevented. If I have any regrets, it is this: that I didn’t communicate our end plan or what we would do if we were running over time to our vendors.

I’m sorry this post has gotten wordy and I don’t mean for this to be a pity party—I know many, many worse things could have happened, but I would be a liar if I said it didn’t affect my enjoyment of the reception.

What went wrong at your wedding? How did you deal with it? How do you get over it?

*I did eventually get the contact out of my eye, but it was not a fun experience, and by this point, our photographer had already left. Such is life.

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Miss a recap? Previously:

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Mrs. Panda

Location:
Boston, MA
Wedding Date:
June 2013
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comments

  1. Member
    lealorali 4816 posts, Honey bee @ 8:35 am

    What the heck! Why are YOU feeling bad and guilty? C’mon, they’re professionals. They should know how to work around miscommunications, even from your end, and not “fight”. Terrible!
    So stinky about your eye and their ridiculous behavior! But the photo of you crying is absolutely adorable :)

  2. Member
    genie 723 posts, Busy bee @ 10:00 am

    Ughhhhh, I hate when I lose my contact in my eye! It usually happens to my right eye, too. I know what a miserable experience it is, and I’m sorry it kind of got in the way of the rest of your evening. That moment with your in-laws and parents was really sweet, though. I have a very close relationship with my in-laws, too, and I’m so thankful for them everyday.

  3. Member
    candy apple 1877 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:58 am

    1. I’m sorry about the fight. That totally sucks, and it’s definitely not your fault that they weren’t professionals about it. I hope they both apologized to you for it.

    2. I’m sorry you got your contact stuck in your eye :( This happens to me ALL THE TIME because I am ridiculous.

    3. If this happens to anyone else, just an FYI that the best way I’ve decided to fix it is to find where the contact is hiding (you can usually see it poking out a teensy bit if you lift the lid), close your eye, hold the lid down where the contact is, then look up with your eye closed. That usually helps me straighten things out.

    Okay. Sorry for the long comment, and I’m not sure it even made sense :) But I know how annoying it is when your contact gets stuck in your eyeball!

  4. Member
    roadtrip 803 posts, Busy bee @ 11:15 am

    Regardless of the reason, having two vendors lock horns is never a fun thing to witness.

    As for the things that went wrong? I’ll save those multiple stories for the recaps but most of it was easy to let go of. I’m still smarting over a couple of issues but I’m hoping even those will fade in time.

  5. Member
    msbicycle 718 posts, Busy bee @ 11:35 am

    I had a very similar emotional moment but it wasn’t until our after party. And I think I got my contact stuck in my eye last night! Still haven’t found it! (Maybe it is on my bathroom floor?)

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    Mrs B., Guest @ 12:08 pm

    Losing a contact in the eye is awful. One trick that I learned is to take your finger and rub the crease of your eye in one direction away from your nose (my optometrist taught me this), that will usually make it come down and go into place pretty quickly (though it will smudge your eyeshadow if you’re wearing any).

    You shouldn’t feel guilty that your photographer and coordinator butted heads. Even if it was a miscommunication there is a way to be professional about it, which it sounds like they were not. They both should have apologized to you for it happening.

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    busyinboston, Guest @ 1:02 pm

    Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry about your contacts! This happened to me while I was in someone’s wedding party this past August. I spend a lot of the ceremony/reception squinting and blinking but thankfully none of the bridal party pictures were ruined by me =D

    I’m also surprised to hear that Lisa got in a fight with your other vendor. She was definitely someone that we originally wanted to hire for our wedding and well-known for being the best in the Boston area. Being a wedding veteran I thought she would’ve handled any timing conflicts without stressing you out.

    By the way, I really enjoyed following your wedding journey! It is nice to read about a Boston bride because I can be like.. hey, I know that place! :)

  8. Member
    msfilly 827 posts, Busy bee @ 2:13 pm

    Oh jeez, I’m so sorry about your contact – doesn’t that always seem to happen at the least possible opportune time?

    As for your vendors, regardless of whose fault the miscommunication was, they are professionals and should have acted accordingly. This shouldn’t be the first or last time something goes awry; they should have known better than to conduct themselves in such an unprofessional manner. Please don’t beat yourself up over it – it’s not your fault and I hope it hasn’t spoiled your memories of what appears to be a beautiful day.

  9. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:41 am

    @busyinboston: well, there is always more to the story but I’m not sure I completely know it either, and while I can speculate on what happened, I’m not sure it’s appropriate.

    I am trying not to beat myself up about it, but it’s hard, because it’s really easy to focus on the one thing that went wrong the whole day.

    Overall, the whole thing was very uncharacteristic of both of them (which makes me feel more like it was my fault…), and every other interaction with both of them was great, so I hope this doesn’t color anyone’s opinion of them, I would still highly recommend working with either of them, but probably not together.

  10. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:47 am

    oh and since this comment section has turned a little bit into a how to get your contact out of your eye info session (which is awesome! I am going to use these tips in the future!), leaning my head down with my eyes closed and just letting gravity do much of the work is what ultimately worked for me.

  11. Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:42 pm

    Oh man, that stinks! My new contacts are super thin and one of them had something on it when I put it in so it stung and I rubbed my eye… yup! Contact lost behind my eyeball… and it had broken in half as well so I had to get the parts out separately.

    So yes, I totally know that incredibly annoying, slightly worrying feeling of having a little contact stuck behind your eye. I would have been sooo pissed if that happened on the wedding day!

    Agree with the other comments about getting them out! I rub my crease, swoosh my eye all around and then pull the lid up with a q-tip in hand to poke under there and catch on the contact if I can get to it.

  12. Member
    mswaterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:47 pm

    I’m so sorry that your contacts put a damper on the celebrations. That sucks!

  13. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 1:26 pm

    You look beautiful in your photos, even with tears and a displaced lens. I wear Boston lenses (feel hard to the touch but are gas permeable) and about once a month, usually when I’m up late at night, one will relocate to the top or side of my eyeball. What seems to help the most is getting the eye lubricated with re-wetting solution or some kind of eye drop that’s compatible with the lenses. Then I use a tiny little suction cup that I got from my eye doctor. It has a tiny little rubber handle and if you can get it to the lens, it adheres to it and pulls it off your eye. Seems like it cost about $5 at my last eye appointment. This stays in my makeup bag in my purse and goes everywhere with me, just in case! Hope that helps future bees with contacts – I can only imagine how awful it would be. I always completely destroy my makeup in the process of retrieving the lens, but in the moment that doesn’t even matter.

  14. Member
    gondola 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:42 pm

    Poor you! I also had a moment where there was abut of a fight and I’m still learning how to just let it go. Good luck, and remember your wedding is absolutely beautiful!

  15. Guest Icon Guest
    djcarsonevans, Guest @ 4:40 am

    I am a DJ in the Kansas City area, and I actually started offering Free Reception Coordinator Services for each client for this very reason! So many things can go wrong at weddings, but fighting between vendors to the point that it gets back to you, the bride…that’s sooooo wrong! Neither should have told you anything about it, at the least, not that day. An experienced Reception Coordinator (which is different than a Wedding Coordinator…and this experience shows why they are different in my opinion) should be able to solve any issues and act with authority, and if something falls ourside of what they are to handle, they should have a nonbride and groom family member to goto, like a parent of the bride or groom. Do not feel guilty or feel like you caused this…you did not cause them to act unprofessional. It’s your party, they should have let you enjoy it!

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