Our wedding is in about nine months, and since the early stages of planning, we knew that there was going to be some issues with the guest list. I have a huge family and a few close friends, while my fiancé is completely the opposite. He has a very tiny family and tons of friends. Our guest list has about 240 people on it—much more than my parents can afford to pay for. To add to this issue, my fiancé feels that all of his friends need to bring a date. That would probably put our guest list at 300 people! So what I would like is to have only married or engaged people be allowed to bring their significant others, and maybe those who have been in long-term relationships. But I don’t think it is necessary for every single person to bring a date, especially since his friends are all friends with each other, so it’s not like they won’t know anyone there. I have told him that it’s just not feasible for everyone to bring a date, and that my parents can’t afford it. However, instead of understanding he just pouts and says that he just won’t invite those people at all then, because “they won’t want to drive all the way here alone.” Anyway, that’s just a small part of the problem…
I will admit to you all right now that I am kind of a jealous person when it comes to other girls who have had any type of past relationship with my fiancé (as I think a lot of people are). So this is where my bigger moral dilemma begins—our best man is in a long-term relationship (and they live together) with a girl who my fiancé has a past with. Granted, their relationship was short lived, but it was to the point where he would drive several hours out of state to spend the night with her. And I won’t even get into the fact that he has even more of a past with her sister…ugh. So the problem here is that I REALLY don’t want this girl at our wedding. I feel like just seeing her there will make me think about his past with her (and her sister), and I will feel disgusted and upset every time I am reminded of it, and I don’t want to have to feel that way on my wedding day!
I don’t want our best man to be upset or offended by this, and I know it makes my fiancé feel bad to tell his best friend that he can’t bring a date, but it is just something I can’t seem to get past. Am I wrong if I only invite the best man and not his girlfriend? What should I do?