The First Not-Look

Otherwise known as the “Anti First Look.”

Mr. Big and I aren’t really traditional, but we both really like the idea of not seeing each other the day of the wedding until we meet each other at opposite ends of the aisle! (Digression: We have a bet going on whether or not Mr. Big will cry when he first sees me. I’m really hoping he does, but he’s fervent he won’t!)

This means that, the night before the wedding, we’ll wish each other adieu and we’ll be staying in different villas. We still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do, but we’re still trying to figure out if we should grab our own room or bunk with other people (although the second option is looking more and more like a reality).

The fact of the matter is we won’t be doing a first look, where the bride and groom see each other before the aisle walk. A lot of brides state that it’s special either way, and that’s completely understandable, but given the tradition already infused in our wedding, as well as the timing of the entire affair, the first look just didn’t really fit.

Also, I like the idea that Mr. Big will not have seen me all day until we’re ready to be joined as husband and wife.

Unfortunately, I also like images like this:

ADORBS / Photography by Coati Photography

So a part of me really wants pictures like this.

Or this:

Photography by Gabri J. Photography

Or maybe these:

Isn’t it just so frakking adorable? / Photography by K. Holly Studios

I’ve asked Mr. Big if he liked them, and he actually does.

What’s more is because we’ll be getting ready at the same hotel, it works out that we can choose a spot that’s picturesque but keeps me hidden. I honestly think it’s unfair that I get to see Mr. Big before he sees me, but as he has to lead me out of the door (remember that Chinese tradition, folks?), it’s just inevitable that I have to have all eyes on that door frame (no tripping for me!).

The overall concept is just so cute to me, and I really want to be able to hold his hand and talk to him before we officially become husband and wife. It’s just such a nice sentiment! <3

And also, the exchanging of letters the day of?

I’d love to do that too. I love writing letters, and to be able to read a letter from Mr. Big before we’re husband and wife (and then frame it to hang up in the house somewhere) would be so cute. Also, we’re not really doing a gift exchange since we’re already giving heaps of other gifts to other people, so a letter would be a nice touch.

So hive, what will you do on your wedding day? Take pictures like this? A letter the morning of? <3


Mrs. Bighorn Sheep

Sydney, NSW, Australia
Wedding Date:
February 2014
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  1. Member
    Miss Wellies 1425 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:05 pm

    These pictures are amazing! I love the idea of writing a letter. :)

  2. Member
    Orchidgirl80 107 posts, Blushing bee @ 4:13 pm

    As soon as I saw the “not” first look pictures, I was sold. I love those pictures! We’ll also be at a hotel and I hope to find a cute door way to frame our “first look”

  3. Member
    alishaloo 2529 posts, Sugar bee @ 7:23 pm

    We did not do a first look.
    To be Honest… ( I hate to admit this) His first look ( in pictures) was not what I wanted. Its not going to be all over pinterest and it just looks like him smiling and he was… but oh man …

    He talked to me through the entire ceremony because he was gushing over me.
    After the ceremony we stepped into a small spare room while our guests exited and it honestly might be my favorite memory from that entire day.

    We did do the holding hands around the corner and let me tell you although it got me so excited to see him it helped me calm down a lot.. But we forgot it till like 10 mins before and I squoze it in so it was kinda rushed..

    If I could go back and do a first look I sometimes think I would have. I wonder if it would have helped me calm down – not ugly cry- and not be so overwhelmed.

    At the same time the day was so great that I can’t say I would change it ! So I know that doesn’t help much!

    oh ps! We agreed to write notes and I 100% forgot to write his – I didn’t think he would actually write one cause it isn’t his thing but he wrote me one got me a gift the whole thing and it was THEEE BEST!

    I feel like a jerk and I wish I could have done the same for him… but seeing as how my vows got written at 1 AM the morning of our wedding day…. haha…

    me reading the letter is in this thread

    here is the link to the holding hands around the corner…. also my first look with my dad.. he didn’t let me down with water works haha!

  4. Member
    alishaloo 2529 posts, Sugar bee @ 7:24 pm

    PS ^^^ his first look is also in the second link!

    Hope it can help !

  5. Member
    Britt214 1190 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:29 am

    We did the first touch thing and I will tell you it was one of my favorite moments from the day. We wrote each other letters and I got to hold his hand. It was a beautiful moment.

  6. Member
    Mrs. Gondola 970 posts, Busy bee @ 4:07 pm

    I think the letter idea is great. Go for it!

  7. Member
    Mrs. Waterfall 1311 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:53 pm

    We did a first look at the end of the aisle, and it was perfect. But these first touch photos are adorable.

  8. Member
    cosmo_gmr 946 posts, Busy bee @ 5:34 am

    Amazing pictures! You definetely should take them!

  9. Member
    Miss Pyramid 839 posts, Busy bee @ 7:38 am

    This sounds so exciting, I love how these pictures come out! Knowing me though, I would peek around the corner or something once the time came haha.

    I am so into letters too!

  10. Member
    Mrs. Bighorn Sheep 114 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:50 pm

    @Miss Wellies: Thanks Wellies! <3
    @Orchidgirl80: We’ll probably do the blindfolded one, purely because logistically, it’s just not possible to hold hands around a doorframe/corner when he’s gotta “lead me out” of my house :( Good luck with your plans!
    @alishaloo: Uhm… lady. May I just say that your wedding was STUNNING. And you are BEAUTIFUL. And oh my gosh, your eyes are so PRETTY. And your husband when he first sees you is, AHHH just beautiful!! Thank you for sharing your experiences and those gorgeous, gorgeous photos! <3
    @Britt214: I’m hoping to do the same <3 Although, I think we'll have to give each other our letters prior because Mr Big'll be blindfolded, hehe.
    @Mrs. Gondola: Totes will! Thanks Mrs G. :)
    @Mrs. Waterfall: I remember reading about your first look. <3 It was stunning :)
    @cosmo_gmr: Thank you <3
    @Miss Pyramid: We may be doing the blindfolded one, which I guess is sort of mean since I’m technically seeing him, but logistically it’s the easiest thing for us. Although, I totes would peek around the corner too :D

  11. Member
    daniellekira 548 posts, Busy bee @ 10:47 am

    I did a first touch (or that’s what they call it). We didn’t see each other, but touched hands, could say hello and how excited we were and exchange love notes. It is an amazing and beautiful experience. One of my favorites. Builds the anticipation up. I say go for the first touch and love note exchange. You won’t regret it.

  12. Guest
    kt_love_15, Guest @ 10:44 pm

    since our local and timing we cannot do photos after the ceremony and still have daylight, so we will be doing photos before the ceremony and will include a first look. Also he will be getting notes through the groomsmen all morning at various times… I am sure once he gets them he will send notes back, that is just how he is…. I have also made sure that the day of coordinator understands that I want FH and i to have a few moments through out the night to steal away with each other… just to be alone together and talk about what has been memorable to us.

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