Late for a Very Important Date

You guys”¦I’m late. For my wedding.

According to this, I was supposed to get married back in December!

Screenshot 2014-02-10 18.35.04

Graph of my Facebook friends via Time

Luckily, we have less than five months to go, so I should be OK.

All kidding aside, I found the article (and the analysis) by TIME Tech really interesting. I’m 33, which depending on where you live is probably really old to get married, or maybe right on target. The under-25 marrieds in my graph above are all my cousins in Texas, and I only have a couple married friends around my age (and no close friends who are younger than I am and married). They talk a little more about the methodology in the article (which I found interesting since I teach AP Statistics), but basically they look at all of your Facebook friends who list an age and a relationship status, and then find the median age of marriage. In my case, half my friends got married later than 33 and half before.

We know that the average age of marriage for women is about 27 (via Census), up from 20.5 in 1950. But facts like that are so tough to interpret. In my major city, most people seem to wait until a little older, whereas all four of my cousins in Texas got married within two months of college graduation. Is it regional? Based on your friend group? I don’t know, but I find it really fascinating.

Every once in a while, someone will post on the boards about being an older bride”¦and then they’re younger than I am. It’s all in the perspective. My mini-me (my student teacher who is so like me it’s scary) got married fresh out of college—but so did plenty of other people; getting engaged in college was just what you did. My college? I knew one person who got engaged. A friend who married her college sweetheart waited four years after she graduated. I definitely don’t feel “late” at 33 (well, most of the time, at least), but there’s only one other Miss blogger over 30 right now, so maybe I am!

MOH Sis (who is 30) and I have talked a lot about this, and how much social circles and region play a part in when people feel like they “should” get married. It’s so easy to assume everyone should be like us and follow the same patterns. I don’t think there’s any “right” time for everyone, and I’m happy to be marrying the right man for me in June (much more so than hitting a target date!). And I know I’m on target with three weddings coming up in May of other friends (in a range of ages, actually)—so good thing I didn’t catch this at the end of May. I bet I’ll be way overdue by then!

How about you? Where do you fall relative to your friends? Are you late? Early?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Clover

Location:
Chicago
Wedding Date:
June 2014

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  1. Member
    girlygirl885 284 posts, Helper bee @ 2:31 pm

    yikes…I’m supposed to be married in 2 months! Looks like I’m going to be about 8 months late. My median married age is 28.5, very interesting!

  2. Member
    limekitty 294 posts, Helper bee @ 2:42 pm

    So I read the “fine print” and it does state that it includes people with such statuses:

    “For the purposes of this tool, “married” refers to anyone who lists his or her relationship status as “married,” “engaged,” “in a domestic partnership,” or “in a civil union.”

    So arguably- since I’m “engaged” on facebook- I would be counting in this statistic as “married!”

    Really misleading imo!!!

  3. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 2:49 pm

    @girlygirl885: Funny–we’re five years apart, but both basically on target for the age we’re actually getting married!

  4. Member
    ykyegbride 318 posts, Helper bee @ 2:50 pm

    My median married age is 28.1, but it’s pulling from a very small sample size. Apparently I only have 17 friends who have put their status as “married” on facebook. And I have about 50 friends between 26 – 30 as still unmarried, which is pretty true.

    At 27, I’m one of three married people from my group of university friends, and I only got married a few months ago.

    I think those that attend university and want to establish their careers tend to marry later.

  5. Member
    Mrs. Goose 130 posts, Blushing bee @ 3:03 pm

    My median age is 27.7, so I have 10 and a half moths to get married! Phew, that’s a relief. I hate being late for anything ;)

  6. Member
    domesticdiva 1843 posts, Buzzing bee @ 3:22 pm

    Crazy…my friends’ median age is 31.4 and I’ll be 31.35 when we get married! Right on time. ;)

  7. Member
    climbergirl 95 posts, Worker bee @ 3:29 pm

    This is really neat, thanks for posting! I wish they had one of these for when your friends have children. I feel like all of my high school and college friends have kids- married or not! :)

  8. Member
    livelaughlove628 586 posts, Busy bee @ 3:56 pm

    Im 5 months late for my wedding! The average age is 24.2 and ill be 25 when we get married. Better late then never ;)

  9. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 4:03 pm

    @Miss Goose: @DomesticDiva: @livelaughlove628: So interesting how close people are to their own personal target age!

    @ykyegbride: I did notice the sample size–it only grabs people who put their age and marital status I think.

    @climbergirl: That would be a fun one!

  10. Member
    camel 703 posts, Busy bee @ 4:30 pm

    I live in the South and I think people definitely get married younger here. I was 30 when we tied the knot, and I’m definitely one of the last of my friends to get married. I don’t regret it for a second either!

  11. Member
    DBS5127 220 posts, Helper bee @ 4:35 pm

    This is fun! My target date was 8 days ago and I’m getting married in 5 months! Pretty close.

  12. Member
    Mrs. Llama 21 posts, Newbee @ 5:30 pm

    Whenever I’m watching Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, it always boggles my mind how young so many of the brides are! Or, as you said, there will be a 27-year old who calls herself an “old bride.” Crazy!

  13. Member
    OKJC 98 posts, Worker bee @ 7:19 pm

    30 something was right for us too :)

  14. Member
    debinoxford 236 posts, Helper bee @ 9:01 pm

    I am 30, but when I did that calculator it said that I still have six months and some odd days. The median is 31.2 for me. So I got married way earlier then. Although I feel like I’m the last one of my friends to get married. Interesting.

  15. Member
    alsgirl 611 posts, Busy bee @ 4:21 am

    I did this, and I kid you not it said 8 months and 13 days…which is the day of my wedding! Do you think it somehow found this out looking at my PMs or something, cos if not that’s kinda scary how accurate it is!

  16. Member
    pyramid 97 posts, Worker bee @ 5:31 am

    oooh mine makes a really nice bell curve *nerding out*

  17. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:56 am

    @alsgirl: No way! I think it really does only look at the ages of married friends, so that is scary accurate!

    @debinoxford: Shamrock’s didn’t match what we thought it would either. It doesn’t take into account things like how long people were married, so that might be part of it.

    @OKJC: I only know one person who got married before 30 around here!

    @DBS5127: so close!

    @Mrs. Camel: Definitely does seem like a Southern thing, although of course there are exceptions.

  18. Member
    jennyg34 52 posts, Worker bee @ 6:15 am

    Girl, I was waaaaaaaaaay behind. I like to call it the “later track”! I just got married about 10 months ago- and I was 35. My husband was 39. I was really starting to wonder if my Prince Charming would show up- but I had fun in my 20′s and wouldn’t change a thing. Most of my friends got married in their mid-to-late 20′s. My twin sister was 6 years into her marriage and on her first child (and 2 years in, for that matter), when I got married. And now she’s pregnant with her second! So that is just a constant reminder of my “later track”. Hey, everyone’s track is different, and we can’t change our fates. I am thankful for my later track, and it works for me!

  19. Member
    Mrs. Milk Cow 207 posts, Helper bee @ 7:39 am

    My median age is 27.2, so I have two years, 8 months, and 15 days left to get married. I’m so ahead (and a little sad about it)! Most of my Facebook friends are not married, but the data still seemed a little off to me.

  20. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 10:27 am

    @JennyG34: Ha ha I love it! I’m sure my cousin’s all wonder whats wrong with me, but it feels like the right thing from here.

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    rachel s., Guest @ 11:13 am

    I think the whole younger-in-the-South thing is mostly because of religious ties and “waiting.” My new husband and I “waited” ;) — so we did NOT want to wait around to get married! We got engaged after a year and married in three months. It was perfect for us! I was 28 and he was 30.

  22. Member
    gondola 1046 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:33 am

    I’m 31 and I’m actually somewhat early among my friends. Very interesting graph!!

  23. Member
    waltzdreams 295 posts, Helper bee @ 8:30 am

    It told me I was supposed to get married 71 years and 10 days ago. Boy, I’m a bit late. Apparently, I was supposed to get married before I was even in the womb. :) I guess I’ll have to time-travel and invite my grandparents to my wedding.

  24. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:52 am

    @WaltzDreams: Ha ha ha ha!!! That’s hilarious. I wonder if the only person who put their age AND marital status was your grandparents?

  25. Member
    mswallaby 2063 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:00 pm

    Hahaha, I got married under 25 and I live in Texas! Mr. W (and most of our friends) are in their late 20s and early 30s and just now getting married, so I think we were the anomaly in our friend group. We rushed into this for sure, although we have no regrets. Thanks for sharing that tool, it’s super interesting!!

  26. Member
    Mrs. Clover 123 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:02 pm

    @Mrs. Wallaby: :) You and all my cousins. But it sounds like some people in Texas wouldn’t think I’m an old maid!

  27. Guest Icon Guest
    Lulu, Guest @ 10:17 am

    Women are under so much pressure from society. There are expectations of when to be married, when to have children, how to look to be considered beautiful, and the list goes on.
    I would like to bring a different perspective. I will be married for the first time at 41. Why? For me, it was due to many many obstacles to overcome in life including a difficult upbringing, anorexia, rape, and a broken engagement that included rejection from my family, fiance at the time, and maid of honour, and the subsequent losses of people tied to the situation.
    With a very wounded heart, I finally found a man who loves me for me. We are expecting our first child in May and will be married the following year.
    This is the journey that has worked for me. Many judge me for sure, particularly those people I know who I used to be close to in the Christian world (a world I have finally left and have found freedom and peace), but I doubt they would judge me if they knew my story. We need to be kind to others and understand people before shaming them.
    Plus, on a different note, too many people get married for the sake of status, or they can’t be alone, etc. Not to brag, but I really don’t think many could have survived my journey to love.

  28. Guest Icon Guest
    Christy, Guest @ 11:37 am

    I was 41 when I got married, but I met my husband when I was 27. We dated 3 times over the course of those 14 years, and we agree that by waiting, we were financially and emotionally in a better position to get married. I experienced a lot of life in those years, and I also realized how wonderful my husband was after dating two other guys seriously and realizing that my husband was the right man, I just didn’t realize it.

    I don’t think anyone should set a date by which people should get married. It’s up to each person, and for some, 21 is the right age, for others, 30 or older. The important thing is to find the right person to marry and not worry about what the right age is. It’s up to each person to decide what that is.

  29. Member
    brown_eyed_baker 175 posts, Blushing bee @ 4:05 pm

    I’m ahead of schedule lol. Our date is 10.12.14

    The median age of your 108 married friends is 26.5 years old
    That leaves you 1 year, 5 months and 15 days. But remember, half of your friends were married after that age!

  30. Guest Icon Guest
    Apratt, Guest @ 9:44 am

    Your appropriate age to be married is when you find the one you truly love and can’t live without. It comes at all different ages. The most important thing is true happiness. Embrace bring single or married. There are many advantages to both. Whatever your relationship status is live your like to its fullest for we only get one chance. As we all know the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence and that applied to all relationship statuses. Happiness, and health are most important.

  31. Guest Icon Guest
    Anna, Guest @ 6:03 am

    The only thing I noticed is I have way more unmarried friends than married

  32. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 6:32 pm

    In my opinion, finish college first, that puts you at 22, then get an apartment and paint it and make it your own for a year, that puts you at 23. Minimum. You had better get out there and go to clubs and shake your booty and feel single. And I HOPE you’ve gone out to at least Starbucks with a dozen guys. Then I’ll let you get married.

    But, assuming you haven’t met the one yet, then ideally, 26. That gives you 2 years after college to be single and live in your own apartment and date. And focus on your carreer. Then you meet Mr. Right at 24, get engaged after a year at 25 and focus on your wedding for the following year. Ha! It’s perfect. 26. Oh, and that gives you 4 years to be a young, beautiful, skinny married couple and take vacactions and be alone and have thriving careers and fiendships, then you get preggers at 30. Come on, perfecto.

    But if you meet Mr. Right in high school, well, you simply may not be able to wait. I mean, I believe in abstinence before marriage, so, you just may have to be that sweet, glowing, romantic young couple who simply must get married. If he’s the one, it’s pretty impossible to ask to break up so you can date other people, etc, etc. So consider yourself lucky, which you are, to have found your love, and the upside is you’ll be richer than the rest of us since you’ll be money-smarter together. Also more years of skinney, young and beautiful together. He’ll love that. Oh, and more years of love. X0X0

  33. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 6:50 pm

    But you are NOT permitted to try to fit yourself into that schedule. If you don’t find Mr. Right until 45, so be it. It’s okay. It’s MUCH better than making a mistake. And you probably have some healing to do somewhere, admit it. But THAT’S OK, TOO! It is what it is. You’re a beautiful person! Focus on the healing that has to happen.

    And no, the AIM is not to get married. The aim is to be happy and live life fully.

    To speed the process up inadvertantly, however, take your growth and happiness seriously. Be happy. Make changes. Take dating seriously. Make sure you’re available to date. Be honest about the whole process. Make a realization about the person you’re dating. Don’t date anyone for more than two years. Ya, you know them.

    And abstain from sex. For a million reasons. But one of them is, it will make you put your best foot forward and make better, faster decisions, because who wants to sleep alone. That’s what the Texans are doing. It’s the natural, romantic way. Don’t worry about the “test drive”. If you can’t live without him, that’s that. And the sex will probably be great because of that.

  34. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 1:44 pm

    @Apratt:

    Apprat said it perfectly and beautifully.

  35. Member
    Carolekins 40 posts, Newbee @ 8:05 am

    I would not worry about getting married at the “right” age. I married at age 16 just in love not pregnant in case you wondered. Many years on I married again at 61. Age really is just a number. If you feel the person and the time is right for you it does not matter what age you are .

  36. Guest Icon Guest
    HJ, Guest @ 5:16 pm

    The median age for me was 26.5! I’ll be getting married 2 weeks after the date they predicted. This was pretty cool!

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