My Bridesmaid Refuses to Get Her Hair Done with the Rest of the Bridal Party

A few summers ago, before I was dating my current fiancé, I was with my friends literally just about every day. It was the best summer—we were all single, and once we got out of work we would decide whose house to hang out at that night, and head straight there. If it was a weekend, we’d head to a bonfire somewhere. But when summer ended it was time for me to head back to college, meaning I wouldn’t see them nearly as much. About six weeks into the semester, I went home one weekend and ran into my (now) fiancé at a mutual friend’s party. We were inseparable ever since.

Obviously, all of my friends were really happy for me—he’s tall, sweet, good looking, athletic, etc., and I’d never been happier”¦but as the months wore on, one friend in particular started to act different toward me. I could tell she was mad that I was spending a lot of time with him instead of her, but here’s the thing—I was in college out of town, and he happened to work in that town, so it was easy for us to spend time together. It wasn’t as easy for me to see her—she was home, and I didn’t go home much. When I did, it was to see family or for a holiday. Anyway, we ended up getting engaged fairly quickly, and she didn’t act all that excited about it. I asked her to be a bridesmaid and she DID act excited about that, but ever since she got over the bridesmaid excitement she has been very distant and kind of snappy toward me when I try to talk to her. So I decided to just let her get over it on her own—all of my other friends were able to understand that I now had a relationship and was going to college full time, so she needed to understand that too.

I have since finished college and moved on to grad school, which I attend full time. I am also now living with my fiancé and working two jobs, so I have hardly any time to do anything besides work or homework, especially with planning a wedding on top of all that. But now she has a serious boyfriend of her own, whom she lives with. We still don’t see each other much, but I still consider her a friend and I am happy that she’s found someone that she’s happy with.

So here comes the problem—it will seem unrelated at first, but bear with me”¦I booked my hairstylist/makeup artist about a year ahead of time, and recently that has all pretty much fallen apart (double-booking, long story). So instead of dealing what that mess, I started looking into different salons to go with, and I finally found one. I found a hairstylist who is experienced and is willing to come to my house, with a coworker, to do hair for me and my entire bridal party, so I sent out a group message to the bridesmaids letting them know about the change, and that they would need to be at my parents’ house for 8:00 AM on the wedding day if they wanted their hair and/or makeup professionally done. A few hours later, that one particular friend who I mentioned above sent me a text saying that she will not be able to have her hair done with the rest of us and will not be able to be at, or near, my parents’ house at all that day because the hairstylist that I chose is her new boyfriend’s ex”¦

I asked her, “Do you really think she is going to start trouble while she is on the job, at my parents’ house, on a client’s wedding day? That would be extremely unprofessional.” And she replied that, no, she probably won’t start anything, but that she would just feel uncomfortable being around her boyfriend’s ex. I suggested that she get her hair done by the other stylist that will also be coming to my parents’ house so that she won’t have to be around her boyfriend’s ex or have her doing her hair, but, again, she replied that she would still be uncomfortable because the second stylist is “practically besties” with her boyfriend’s ex.

So if she really doesn’t come, she will miss out on pre-wedding photos and the limo ride to the ceremony. She also won’t get her hair and makeup done unless she does it herself or goes elsewhere. I feel like this is a huge part of the day and that it will be really fun for all of us girls, not to mention that it would be some quality time for all of us. So I don’t know what to do. Should I tell her to suck it up and be there? Should I just forget about it and make myself believe that it’s her loss? Should I confront the hairstylist and ask her if it will be an issue? Although, I feel like if I choose to confront the stylist that my friend will still not come.

I have no idea how to approach this, but I feel that she should be able to be an adult and just deal with it. I’m not asking her to be friends with the stylist or even interact with her at all. It’s only a couple of hours, not a whole day. What should I do, or what would you do?



Classifieds: February 14, 2014
Watercooler: February 15, 2014
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  1. milkcow Member
    Mrs. Milk Cow 215 posts, Helper bee @ 2:24 pm

    It sucks to want to get ready with your friends and have this vision in your head and then find out that someone doesn’t share your vision. But in this case, I’d probably just let your friend do her own thing. Maybe she can come over once the hair stylists leave, if the timing works out? Then she will still be in the limo and get some pictures beforehand. My reasoning is this: if she is this concerned about the hair stylist being her boyfriend’s ex (or his ex’s friend), she’s probably going to be upset or uncomfortable on the day of your wedding, even if no one provokes it. I’d want to keep her in a good mood, avoid drama as much as possible, and make sure she doesn’t ruin your prep time by sulking or starting anything. She’ll still be able to share the rest of the day with you and she’ll be in a much better mood, which is good for everyone.

  2. Member
    mrscash 729 posts, Busy bee @ 2:36 pm

    You’re definitely stuck in a really horrible position I would not want! I basically agree with Miss Milk Cow – make sure your schedule allows time for the hair stylists to leave so that a few pre-wedding photos can be done with her and then you all go in the limo together. Be careful it’s not too tight, I know my hair/makeup ended up going a little longer. I wouldn’t push your BM into an uncomfortable position even though you honestly are being put into a more uncomfortable, but propose this plan to her and see if she’s okay with it. If she’s not, then she’s being ridiculous and you need to put your foot down.

  3. Member
    SherryBlossom78 766 posts, Busy bee @ 2:46 pm

    Yeah, just let her do her own thing for hair and makeup. Set up a time for her to meet you when they are gone. If you really want her there, then you’ll have to select other stylists.

  4. Member
    Woobee 121 posts, Blushing bee @ 2:52 pm

    To be honest, I’m surprised you booked that stylist in the first place. Maybe you didn’t know the stylist was the ex? If your problem BM were mine, I think I would have cancelled the booking… A bit ridiculous maybe, but you gotta have your friend’s back. I think I would feel the same as she does! It’s just an irrational human compulsion to hate a significant other’s ex on principle. It’s an awkward situation all around, but I suppose I’d just allow for some extra time between prep and pictures so she can arrive after the stylists leave.

    I feel bad for you to have to worry about your friend’s drama on your big day, but I also feel bad for her… She’s going to come off as a crazy, jealous bitch, which I’m not sure she is (at least in this particular situation).

  5. Member
    Lone Star 146 posts, Blushing bee @ 3:10 pm

    Quick question: are you paying for her hair and makeup? If so, she should suck it up. If not, well, you can’t force her to pay for an expensive updo, and that’s not really fair. Although she should still at least want to be there while you’re getting ready. You keep saying that she hasn’t been supportive. Maybe a de-bridesmaiding is in order. But, just FYI, as a bride, I did my hair and makeup on my own at a salon (I didn’t want to pay for anyone else), and just asked the girls to be at the church at 3:30, all ready. I’m not sure she’s required to give up an entire day.

  6. Member
    cbgg 3497 posts, Sugar bee @ 4:59 pm

    You said, “I feel like this is a huge part of the day and that it will be really fun for all of us girls.”

    She’s made it clear that she will NOT have fun with her boyfriend’s ex there. That’s not totally unreasonable. So as I see it you have two options:

    1) Let her choose to opt out. It’s a bummer, but you can’t really control other people.

    2) Choose a new hairstylist. It’s a hassle, but if you really want everyone to be there and to have a good time it seems like the only option.

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    EM, Guest @ 5:29 pm

    I personally cannot stand to be around the ex of the person I am dating. It is extremely uncomfortable for me. Whether it is his ex from 10 years ago or his ex from 3 years ago I just can’t do it. I really don’t know what to say here because I think I might do the same thing because I have emotional issues that would come up for me and perhaps put everyone in a bad mood. Do you think that she is refusing to come because she is being selfish or do you think she is refusing to come because it genuinely makes her upset? I have a bridesmaid currently who is causing some issues and it is stressful for me. I am trying to ignore her and focus on the people I do want to see.

  8. Member
    beenumberbea 118 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:39 pm

    First, you said “if they wanted their hair/makeup professionally done”– that “if” implies your girls had a choice.

    Second, can you seriously not understand why a woman would not want to be around her boyfriend’s ex? I’m sure most people would feel the same as her– regardless of the circumstances.

  9. Member
    nessdawwg 911 posts, Busy bee @ 7:05 pm

    I kinda feel for your bridesmaid on this one OP.

    Firstly, you admitted yourself that you had not been seeing your friends as often once you got a boyfriend. I understand it was easier to see him since he was in town, but maybe you should have made a bit more effort to pop home once in a while for a girls night? Your friends are important too and while the fact is you do have to put your friends on the backburner a bit when you get a new man, you should still make the time and effort for as much as you can. I understand her getting miffed at that, and I think it’s irrelevant to your problem anyway.

    Secondly, I don’t know what went down with her bf and his ex, but I can completely understand her reluctance at getting her hair done by her. I know she’s a professional, but girls can be extremely petty and you never know what she might do. You even run the potential risk of her “accidentally” doing something to stuff up her hair, and ruin your photos as well as upset your friend. Even if you 100% believe nothing like that would happen, it’s still awkward and uncomfortable for your BM. Her bf might also feel uncomfortable about the situation and not want her to do it. I know it’s your day, but I personally wouldn’t want any of my friends who have invested a lot of money and time into my wedding, to be placed in such an awkward position. If I was you, I would first try to book another hairdresser instead, otherwise totally respect her wishes and allow her to get it done herself.

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Amy, Guest @ 7:08 pm

    “if they wanted their hair and/or makeup professionally done.”

    There’s you answer. You gave her the option. She feels uncomfortable and is being honest with you rather than swallowing her feelings. Respect that.

  11. Member
    SundayLove 105 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:10 pm

    You’re bridesmaid is not refusing to get her hair done with the bridal party. She is refusing to be near her boyfriend’s ex. You should be happy because having them both in the room on your wedding day will be a high stress situation for at least two people there. If I were you, I would do everything in my power to hire another person, or accept that my friend won’t be there that morning.

  12. Member
    Footballwife 568 posts, Busy bee @ 9:12 pm

    Confronting the stylist WILL make it an issue, of course the stylist will say no because she wants the business. the stylists opinion on the situation doesn’t matter but your bridesmaids does. The more you acknowledge the situation the more people feel uncomfortable. You gave your bridesmaid a choice about the hair/MU and she opted out. If you want her there than find a new stylist. What’s more important having her has a stylist or having your friend spend time with you getting ready on your wedding day?

  13. Member
    Susana888 216 posts, Helper bee @ 10:06 pm

    Honestly, I am siding more with your BM… why? Because she isn’t asking you to change stylist or demanding anything, simply stating she would rather not be there for obvious reasons. Either, way I’m sorry this is added stress… but please understand her. I get it… the BM pics whilst getting read… but it’s not a big portion of the photos, you can have other BM photos at the ceremony/reception. You say you want her to be there to have fun with the rest of the bridesmaids but how can you have fun if she is feeling uncomfortable? Don’t you see?

  14. Member
    Susana888 216 posts, Helper bee @ 10:10 pm

    *typo I meant “how can SHE have fun if she is feeling uncomfortable?”

  15. Member
    daphnedescends 119 posts, Blushing bee @ 11:44 pm

    If I were your bridesmaid I wouldn’t want to be in that position either. Sounds uncomfortable. I’d just let her do her own thing for hair and makeup.

    Sounds like she was being reasonable about it. If she wanted to get crazy she could have tried to push for you to get a new stylist, which she didn’t.

  16. Member
    242beauty 483 posts, Helper bee @ 6:20 am

    Honestly I can understand were the BM is comign from. However if its an ex that never gave me any problems or that I only know that seh and my bf were together without other details I would go. Then again I’m having two of my FI ex (nothing serious and thought they were better off as friends and we all became close) in my bridal party lol. I would never book a friends bf ex for anything but if you didn’t know and there hasn’t been problems or drama before then yes a bit uncomfortable but still not a huge deal IMO. I feel for you tho.

  17. Guest Icon Guest
    CT, Guest @ 6:32 am

    I’m sorry – I think your bridesmaid needs to put her big girl panties on and be there for you that morning. Sure, I don’t think anyone relishes the idea of hanging out with someone’s ex. I also don’t think it is unreasonable to want to have the other stylist do her hair. But it is NOT her wedding day, and if she can’t play nice for a couple of hours for you what kind of friend is she anyway?

  18. Member
    peachsnapple 1409 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:33 am

    Actually, I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I think your BM should suck it up. Unless your BM was directly involved in the breakup of her bf’s previous relationship, I don’t see why she would be uncomfortable being around the woman…its not like the woman is her worst enemy and out to get her.

    But she’s clearly made her choice, so I would just let it be. I also wouldn’t confront the stylist..don’t drag her into your friend’s drama…and also its not professional. I wouldn’t change stylists just because your BM doesn’t like the woman….that is nonsensical, planning your wedding vendors around your BM’s feelings.

    Sorry that you have been put in this situation (or that your BM is making this a situation and concern for you) but I think the best thing to do is move forward with your plan for your wedding, and she can either fall in line or not.

  19. Guest Icon Guest
    Miss Mochi, Guest @ 6:55 am

    1) This is your day. Please do NOT switch your stylists because your BM, who doesn’t seem to have supported you that much in the first place, is unable to put on her big girls panties. You’ve already had issues finding your stylists, and honestly, as a bride to be who is planning her own wedding, I myself am having trouble finding vendors who appreciate my style and are affordable. So if you’ve found someone that you like, keep it/them.

    2) Unfortunately, you can’t force your BM to be there. It sounds like she has made her choice. And I would leave it be. I could be taking this completely taking this out of context, but in some ways, I wonder if it really is her boyfriend’s ex that is the real issue, or her resentment of you not spending as much time with her during your college years. Has she supported you in other ways during the wedding process? I wonder if this is “her way” of getting back at you for all those things. I don’t know. I think the best thing would be to talk to her and say that you really wish she would be there, but if you are uncomfortable, then that’s is her choice. During your getting ready time on the wedding day, you honestly, you won’t be pining away for her. You may be a little sad, but your other BMs will be there for you and you will have a great time. In the end, she is the one that will be missing out – and that is her choice.

    Just my two cents!

  20. msllama Member
    Mrs. Llama 22 posts, Newbee @ 6:57 am

    I completely understand your frustration. I’m someone who just doesn’t accept drama, and expects people to put on their big-girl pants (or big-boy pants!) and get over stuff like that. Let it go! I wish people in general would just accept that exes are a part of life – sometimes they reappear, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal! Unless there was a specific reason why this ex is particularly a sore spot (like the boyfriend cheated on her with your friend or something), I think it’s petty, and your wedding day should trump any awkwardness for a couple of hours.

    That being said, I know I’m not the norm, and I’m not at all surprised your friend doesn’t want to participate in the fun. Not everyone can put that stuff to the side that easily. I wish they could, but it’s not reality. Ultimately, it’s her choice – as others have pointed out, it’s IF they want their hair/makeup done professionally. I would give you similar advice – don’t spend any more energy agonizing over it, and just let it go. (Go see Frozen if you need help letting go, that Elsa character does it really well.) :)

  21. parisian Member
    Miss Parisian 588 posts, Busy bee @ 8:09 am

    Whew, I wouldn’t want to deal with that! Well, in my experience, professionals shouldn’t take too long to get hair/makeup done on you and your girls, so I would ask them for a quote on how long they think it will take, and then have your other BM show up after everyone should be done and they should be gone. That way she can get her hair/makeup done elsewhere and show up at the same time as the photographer or whoever would be doing the pre-wedding pictures of you girls. That way she still gets to be part of it and skips the drama.

  22. Member
    saragorgon 23 posts, Newbee @ 9:34 am

    I’m totally in the same boat as Miss Llama. It doesn’t seem like you booked the gal knowing and anyways, if she does good work, then so be it. Exes happen and the guy is now with your friend. Unless this girl is still trying to pursue the guy, I just don’t feel like it should be a big deal. I guess me and my friends are just a little different. We invited exes that were still friends.

  23. Guest Icon Guest
    Miss Spongebob, Guest @ 9:47 am

    I would put her out of the wedding

  24. msllama Member
    Mrs. Llama 22 posts, Newbee @ 9:56 am

    @Miss Mochi: Hahah, I just realized we basically said the EXACT same thing! If you look at the time stamp, we responded within 2 mns of each other – I swear I wasn’t copying what you said…I actually didn’t see it!! We should get together sometime in our big-girl pants.

  25. Member
    chillinchillin 1064 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:46 pm

    Well, I have a hard time relating to your BM because I would be fine interacting w my FI’s ex. I’ve seen one of his ex’s around and it’s no big deal. That being said, her personality and their scenario is different. It may be a more sensitive situation and her personality may not be as able-to-deal. My thought is that she should deal with it like an adult, but she might not be able to do that. I don’t know her of course.

    You don’t want a miserable BM, so if she really and truly cannot suck it up the next best thing would be to time it so she arrives right after they leave with some time for pictures and getting in the limo. If this doesn’t work then yes it actually is her loss and you will have a great time anyway. You will still have you fun getting ready dream with your other bridesmaids, being sans 1 won’t be such a big deal. You’ll have a lottt more going on and through your head that morning I’m sure.

    (just as a side note, weddings often involve some potentially awkward social interactions- for ex. my FI’s mom and dad’s 2nd wife he left her for both attending. talk about awkward ex. ppl find a way to ignore/get over it for a few hours for the sake of the B&G)

  26. Member
    mzjynxie 783 posts, Busy bee @ 8:58 pm

    I hope that I’m not a bad person for seeing her side. Yes, it does put a bit of a wrench in your plans and I would be slightly disappointed if I were in your position. But it would seem to be very uncomfortable to me if I were in her position, I would not want to be anywhere near my SO’s exes at any time. So you should probably just let her do her…I mean she’s still making an effort and honoring her commitment to be your bridesmaid right?

  27. Member
    naijabride87 57 posts, Worker bee @ 8:14 am

    Hmmm I am very suprised with a lot of these responses….maybe because I actually read the entire post, but I have been feeling shade from the point you mention she was jealous that you werent spending time with her but instead your bf and now fiance. You did not have to include her in your wedding, but you did because she is your friend. All my girls in my wedding have remained excited about me getting married and anything I asked of them they have always been willing and ready to do. It is very difficult the day of to not have everyone in the same area. I have been in several weddings when the options were left to us on hair and makeup and we were given a time to be at the brides house and everyone arrived at different times and no one arrive on time no matter how hard we tried. The people you are paying for services on your day as the bride understand the importance in time and a tight schedule but someone that your friend outsource may not be. It is your day, and it should flow smoothly especially if you have did all the work to plan out the logistics. If she wants to get her hair done by another stylist, she needs to ask that stylist to come to your parents house and get her hair done in another room. Its one thing not to get your hair done by your boyfriend’s ex…but its another thing to say you cant be in the same house as her. Major insecurities! After all she has the man, so why is it a problem? Not unless there are some things that have went on that she aint telling you!! Its not her day, its yours, she should follow suite. Of course be polite and respectful but be clear.

  28. Member
    jlc3 1252 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:45 pm

    I think you need to just let her do her own thing. This is an awkward situation for your friend. Yes, it’s your wedding day, but that doesn’t mean that she should fake being comfortable just to make you happy.
    Let her do her own thing. Ask the hair/makeup people to leave at a set time and she can still come over and get her dress and shoes on with you and the girls.

  29. mspalmtree Member
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:51 am

    Gah, this is so shitty. I’m sorry that you’re getting anything less than EEEEEEEEEE! vibes from your BM. Whatever issues she’s having should be placed aside because this time is about you and your fiance.

    That having been said, I do think that maybe you should let this one go. I know it’s hard to think she won’t be there from the beginning, but she can always come after they’re done. Plus, having her there and uncomfortable (and I’d imagine the ex’s current girlfriend would feel similarly) would likely taint your morning anyway.

    Sending you hugs and tons of positivity!

  30. Guest Icon Guest
    OP, Guest @ 2:05 pm

    Hi everyone, I am the OP and thanks for your responses. It looks like I have a few things to clear up…

    Starting at the beginning, I truly was not neglecting my friendship with her when I went back to college. It happened like that every time I went back to college, and it was never a problem in the past. As I mentioned, I didn’t have a lot of time to go home, and if I did go home, it was often for something planned with family (birthday, wedding, etc.). If I had had more time to go home to see her, I would have gladly done so. On the other hand, if she had come out to school to see me, that would have been great, and I would have been happy to spend time with her, but she didn’t. Instead she just sulked over the fact that I was spending time with my new boyfriend but, as I said, that was only because he came to me – and sometimes that was just to hang out while I did homework!

    Next, some people mentioned that maybe I shouldn’t have asked her to be a BM in the first place because she had been somewhat unsupportive. Well, I asked her because yes, she was still my friend, and I still valued that. Of course I hoped that she could put her grudge behind her, be happy for me, and have fun with the other girls and I while we planned the wedding. I thought that her being a BM would give us a chance to grow closer again.

    Yes, I did give all of my BM’s the option to have their hair and makeup done. I asked them all if they wanted it, and I wrote down their answers so that I could have a head count for the stylists of who wanted what. Initially, my BM was all for it. She said she definitely wanted to be there with all of us, so it isn’t as if she just is choosing not to come because she doesn’t want her hair and makeup done.

    As for the stylist, I had absolutely no prior knowledge that this woman was my BM’s boyfriend’s ex. I didn’t even know he existed before my BM started dating him, so I definitely didn’t know his relationship history. If I had known, I definitely would not have booked with this stylist. Additionally, I did not know the stylist, or her relationship history either, I was referred to that stylist by my FI’s mother, and by two friends (who also had no knowledge of this whole relationship fiasco). I figured that since three people had positive input on her, that she must be pretty good – her prices were decent, so I booked her.

    For those of you who asked if my BM had any involvement in their breakup – no, she did not. That is one fact that I do know – they were broken up, and my BM came into the picture later on. I actually think that the stylist has a new boyfriend now as well.

    Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand her feeling uncomfortable! I am not the type of person who wants to be friends with my FI’s exes either, and I am also not the type of person to try to force someone to do something. However, I am just a little sad/hurt by the fact that she wasn’t willing to put this aside and be there with me for that part of my wedding day – before my day would be once again focused on my groom. From the point that she sent me the message saying that should wouldn’t be there, I told her it was completely her choice – I never told her she needed to be there. I just felt upset and wasn’t sure if there was something I should do or say that would maybe allow this to be worked out.

    To those who said I should book with someone else – As I mentioned in the original post, I booked with my regular stylist about a year ahead of time. Turns out she already had another wedding booked that day, but PROMISED me she would make it work. She told me her plan, it seemed good to me, so we went with it. Just last month, I found out that she did not stay true to her word, and I was now going to be left with her new to hair, newly hired, inexperienced employee for myself, my wedding party of 8, and the MOB/MOG… I was not very happy, and could foresee the mistakes and time issues that could have been in my future if I let this girl handle the hair for 11 people. However, I gave her the benefit of the doubt – I contacted her (the new girl), to ask her about if she would have any help accompanying her, what time should would plan on starting/ending, and so on. She read the message (it showed that she did), but she never replied. I’ve waited three weeks, and still no reply, and that includes no returned phone calls as well. That is why I set out on the search for another stylist. With my wedding only a few months away, I knew that options were going to be slim, because most people book a ways ahead of time. I contacted several people – all booked. Then a different BM referred me to a friend from high school who is now a stylist, who I hadn’t thought of. I contacted her and she seemed excited and interested, but then suddenly she stopped replying. I tried contacting her two additional times before giving up on her a couple weeks later. That’s when I was referred to the current stylist that I booked (BM’s BF’s ex…). That being said, when I found this woman, who was both available, and experienced, I was so excited, and was not expecting there to be an issue with anyone. Therefore, “just booking someone else” was not going to be easy this close to the wedding, nor was it something that I wanted to do, having had enough stress with the hair situation already!

    Lastly, to follow up on the situation… the girl I know from high school who stopped replying to me, finally got back to me today and said she would love to do it, and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. I am waiting for her to get back to me with a quote, and if the price is reasonable, I will go with her instead.

    Sorry for writing a book, but I felt like many of you got the wrong idea, and that things needed to be clarified (:

  31. Member
    ashylula 25 posts, Newbee @ 7:36 am

    Wow! She really should just suck it up for this one day. It’s not like you are asking her to spend the whole day with these stylists. But like a lot of others suggested just have her come over once the stylists leave. Troublesome BM are never fun to deal with especially ones that aren’t very supportive and then cause needless drama. Good Luck!! You may need to just put your foot down on this.

  32. Member
    lildolly011 18 posts, Newbee @ 12:17 pm

    I’m going to agree with a few of the others and say that as long as you didn’t intentionally book a stylist knowing it was her BF’s x, then here is no fault on your part. The day is not about her or the other gal for that matter, it’s about you! This is truly the one day in your life where it’s 100% about you and your fiance! What about suggesting she goes to get her hair and makeup done early that morning and comes over after so she can still “get ready” with everyone without having to be in direct contact with the x or her “bestie”?

  33. Member
    chandler114 70 posts, Worker bee @ 10:14 pm

    I would give her a couple options.
    1. Suck it up and have the stylist or her partner do her hair/makeup.
    2. Get it done else where but be there for the photos.
    3. Do it herself but be there for the photos.

    And if she didn’t want to do any of those things I would kick her out of the wedding. I wouldn’t be a B* about it but its the brides event and day(s) and being accommodating to guests and the wedding party is great! But they shouldn’t stress the bride out any more than they all ready are. I say give her a few options or kick her out. If she’s acting that childish over something so small what’s going to happen on the wedding day if she doesn’t like or want to do something and throws another tantrum? No.

    Good luck though. I am glad you have other friends who you can celebrate with!!

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