One of Those Weeks

Last Tuesday I got a migraine (I hadn’t gotten one in years), and it wasn’t gone till Saturday. I missed a day and a half of work. (On the plus side, my seventh period AP class has never loved me more. Or possibly been more annoyed.)

I wanted to get some wedding stuff done, so I called the seamstress to ask when to start alterations on my dress (nothing fancy; I need it hemmed & tacked and a simple bustle added—the only remotely complicated thing is the sweetheart neckline I’d like it altered to). She’s not doing alterations anymore.

Ah well, I can always order that monogram I won in the fall. It’s going to be perfect as part of the decor. Except the coupon code won’t work.

And then Miss Milk Cow posted about her invitations, and Friend KP headed home for the weekend to work on her wedding invitations, and I”¦don’t have wedding invitations. Which, realistically, is not the end of the world, and I do still have time. Maybe not “more than enough” time or “plenty” of time, but time all the same. It’s not like I’m going to be calling people or something. I think I just felt like I was so on top of it, and it was one of the few things I really cared about”¦and now I’m worried I’ll be stressed about it.

And then. THEN. I did a very silly thing for someone who already feels just a teeny bit discouraged. I read the June 2014 brides board, and so many people are so far ahead of me, and I can’t believe I haven’t done anything about that, and ohmigosh this and what should I do about that and”¦

action-step-breathe2

Image via TeriLynneUnderwood.com

There are always going to be people whose planning is ahead of mine. There are always going to be people with more to do. Hey, I ordered our cake already, and our friends using the same baker and getting married a month before haven’t even tasted yet. (OK, OK, they have tuxes.)

Keeping up with the Joneses (or in my case our THREE friends getting married in May) is a losing battle.

We talk about Pinteresting our weddings and making it personalized and all of these other things. And sometimes there definitely is pressure to make it as original as you can and do things no one has seen before (ahem, especially if you are a wedding blogger).

But I think the pressure to just keep pace on checklists can be pretty tough sometimes too. Some people just make it seem effortless (or have planners!), and I end up feeling like I’m behind and somehow inferior.

So to remind myself (and in case you need a reminder too): everyone moves at their own pace. For every item you’re “behind” on, there’s somewhere else you’re likely “ahead.” I bet all those people with completed invitations don’t have all the pieces for their placecards already cut. Friend KP is waiting on my flower girl post.

And at the end of the day, the major parts are already done. We have a church and a pastor (even if we do need to meet with him again to figure out our ceremony). We have a reception venue, some food, and a DJ. The rest truly is just details.

Do you compare your timeline to others’? What’s one place you feel AHEAD? (No behind here—this is all positive talk!)

BLOGGER

Mrs. Clover

Location:
Chicago
Wedding Date:
June 2014

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  1. Member
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:40 pm

    Step back, deep breath. Your wedding is not their wedding. Figure out what means the most to you and what is necessary for your wedding to happen. Then, ignore the rest.

    You need yourself, your partner, and some legal paperwork. That’s it. The rest is gravy.

    Also: ask for help. Simple as that.

    Good luck!

  2. Member
    milkcow 192 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:23 pm

    I so needed this tonight! And @Mrs. Campfire, I needed that too.

    I just keep reminding myself to focus on the goal: invitations, place cards, blog posts are not the goal. Marrying the love of my life is the goal – and I’ve got almost everything I need to make that happen.

    Also, I’m sorry! If it helps, I totally fell in love with these perfect Wedding Paper Divas invitations and then wasn’t sure if they were right so I ended up missing the sale and now I don’t want to pay full price for them, which means we’re nowhere near having invitations. Or decor. Or a vision for our wedding. Or place cards, escort cards, having a ceremony structure, figuring out our favors, etc… I just keep eating desserts and everything seems a little better! :)

  3. Member
    excitedtobeMRSF 844 posts, Busy bee @ 7:25 pm

    Yes breathe! I feel pretty ahead on everything because my wedding is in 12 days so everything should be done BUT a groomsmen just broke up with his girlfriend today so we had to edit the guest-list and I won’t get to try on my dress until the day before the wedding. SO everyone, even the best planners, have things that just fall to the end. I also just had to pay like $35 in shipping to get my stupid special underwear I really wanted for the wedding and kept saying “eh I’ll do that later” hahahhaa BUT now its done and hopefully comes on time!

  4. Member
    msllama 236 posts, Helper bee @ 7:30 pm

    As you said – the rest is truly just details! You will get plenty done between now and your wedding, and whatever doesn’t get done…well, no one will ever know the difference, and you’ll still be married to Mr. Clover :)

  5. Member
    pyramid 92 posts, Worker bee @ 7:42 pm

    Oh hun, it was one of those weeks over here too last week! Doesn’t help that it was THAT week too, you know? Everything was ruined and nothing was coming together – lots of doom and drama going down.
    All I can say is don’t stress, breathe, and go to sleep and see if it looks better in the morning! Just start making one tiny decision or making one appointment and that’ll get you going in the right direction. You’ll be just fine, don’t go beating yourself up!

  6. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:55 pm

    It’s one of those weeks. I think it’s something about the (hopefully) changing seasons that brings out the omg what am I doing and why I am so behind feelings.

  7. Member
    msfilly 827 posts, Busy bee @ 1:45 am

    Mrs. Campfire‘s got it exactly right. Screw the timelines. Do things at your own pace. At the end of the day, you’ll be just as married whether or not you get everything done on your to-do list, you know?

    Hang in there! You’ll get through this!

  8. Member
    Mrs. Clover 116 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:23 am

    @excitedtobeMRSF: So true–something little always sneaks by!

    @Miss Filly: @Miss Llama: @Mrs. Campfire: So true! Thanks ladies.

    @Miss Milk Cow: Ooooh dessert! Sorry you missed the sale!

    @Miss Pyramid: Shamrock’s trying to knock off his stuff to, which also helps! This should totally be a better week.

    @Mrs. Panda: I’ll cross my fingers for those changing seasons!

  9. Member
    springbride23 1741 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:31 am

    That’s very true. I’m a June 2014 bride and I have my invitations done. BUT I have not chosen our cupcake flavors or anything like that yet! I definitely feel behind. It’s that weird ‘wait until you know how many people are coming’ phase. Super annoying.

  10. Member
    msbicycle 718 posts, Busy bee @ 5:32 am

    Those monthly emails with checklists got on my very last nerve every time I got one. Don’t pay attention to them or to what others are doing. Do what you can, when you can. Trust me – it will all work out in the end.

  11. Member
    Mrs. Clover 116 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:51 am

    @springbride23: I think you’re totally right–we’re in a weird time. Choosing cupcake flavors will be totally fun though!

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