Weddingbee Blog

You know how when you spend a lot of time with one person, you kind of create your own language? Mr. Bear Cub and I spend a lot of time together. We live together, we walk to work together, our offices are next door to each other, we shop for food together, go to Spanish class together, run together, eat (almost) every meal together… you get the picture. We’re what happens when you move someplace new (and very different) together - you spend buttloads of time with just that person.

For us, it works out pretty well. We’re both kind of freaks.

Remember this picture?

Yup. Let’s just say we’re really lucky we found each other.
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Hi!

I’m a table! Just your regular 8 by 3 foot wood table with wood benches. Normally cute little kiddies put their tushies on my benches and joke and giggle while they eat on me. But sometimes… sometimes I get to go wild! Ladies who can’t stop smiling dress me up in new cloths and crown me with beautifully fragrant flowers. I wonder what I’ll wear for the next happy sappy lady!

Sincerely,

Miss Bear Cub’s wedding table

Hive, I need you help. I’ve got some big design shoes to fill, and some important tables I can’t disappoint. I’m stuck on how to dress up the tables for our reception!
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Mr. Bear Cub and I both have a deep appreciation for poetry. When we were getting to know each other three years ago, he chose to learn more about me by looking in my bookcase. I had recently acquired a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda. Amidst our tiny circle of friends in graduate school, Mr. Bear Cub was surprised to find another person who even knew of Neruda!

I’m sure many of you already know of this poet - his words are commonly found in wedding ceremonies these days - but for those who don’t, allow me to briefly introduce you to one of the most famous and beloved writers of Chile.

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Pablo Neruda was born in 1904 in a small town a few hundred kilometers south of Santiago.
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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about “The Wedding”. Not the marriage - we’re firm of mind and heart that we want to spend our lives together. I’m talking about the party.

I’m talking about the 100+ guest list, the menu that takes months to perfect, and all the little details that (don’t kid yourself) no one really notices. Except you. (And, of course, if it matters to you, then that’s what’s really important!)

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about why we, as a society, feel the urge to proclaim our marriage as solidified with a (oftentimes opulent) party, with as many people we’ve met in presence. At times, it feels like “The Wedding” is more of an expectation of society than a wish.

At about two and a half months to go - and a lot still on my plate - I’ve been mulling over a few “what ifs”. What if we decided to elope? Would that really be “so bad”? We’d still have an intimate ceremony, we’d still end up married, and we’d still have cake (there will always be cake!).

Our extended family might be a little upset. But honestly - I think they’d get over it.
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After our full day enjoying the architecture and beach in La Serena, we jetted on over to Coquimbo with our photographer Kyle Hepp. Coquimbo is the neighboring port town to La Serena. At the edge of Coquimbo is an old fort that looks like ramparts of a castle - a very romantic location for an evening photo shoot!

There’s a café at the fort, and in the summer there’s live jazz in the evenings outdoors!
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I didn’t think I’d be too inspired by wedding hairstyles, but this…. this is captivating -

…what do you think? Too much hairspray?

Have you found some inspiration for a more au naturale wedding hairstyle? Any suggestions?

Our engagement pictures are in!!!

Kyle was really awesome to work with. There was a whole slew of locations I wanted to shoot at in La Serena, and she entertained all of them! Even though we’re getting married in the States, we thought it appropriate to document part of our lives in South America.

Let’s take a tour of our little town in Chile, shall we?

We started our paparazzi craziness in the Plaza de Armas - downtown old La Serena. This is where we take our Spanish lessons, and it’s got a great colonial feel to it, complete with beautiful gardens and old Spanish architecture.

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Yes - I did! Twenty-six-point-two-miles of wedded bliss!

Mr. Cubbie and I thought this would be a good goal for our getting-in-shape-for-the-wedding pipe dream. Mr. Bear Cub is from Portland, and has always wanted to run the Portland Marathon. Unfortunately, two years ago while he was training for it, his step dad died in a plane crash (while on a rescue mission!). This happened about a month before the race - he would have had to be running 40+ miles a week to adequately maintain his training (and not risk injury!). He went to the funeral, and pulled out of the race. A month after, we ran the Rio Grande half marathon together.

Running is something that has truly brought us together as a couple. You need to trust your running buddy - both to help you and to challenge you. I started out not being able to run even a mile… and then 7 months later, I was running 13.1 of them.

Running in Portland is even better.

Forest Park, Portland

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When we got engaged last May, I couldn’t wait to tell everyone! Even though Mr. Cubbie and I were in Thailand, we immediately hopped on a computer at our tiki-hut to spread the good news. Two of my future bridesmaids (FB?) were on Gchat - I told them right away I wanted them to be my bridesmaids! The rest of my girls I asked over the phone when we were back in the country.

There’s a million and one ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids. No one way is better than the other. Personally, if I have a fab secret, I can’t keep it! I’m bursting with happiness! Asking my girls while I still had that “just slipped the ring on” glow was 100% me.

And then I saw all those other wonderful ways to ask, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”, and I of course I wanted to do that, too! I decided this would be a great way to

1. RE-ask them (it’s been almost a year since we got engaged!)
2. give them more up-to-date info about the wedding
3. pass around b-maid contact info
4. make them feel special
5. have an excuse to craft - tee hee!

The only problem is that now I live in Chile, and as we already know, there’s not a whole lot in the way of crafting supplies here. No Goccos, no PaperSource, no nothing that you lucky lucky brides in the States get to play with. You know what I did? I went to the grocery store.
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You might have noticed from my excited-engaged-hand shot that my nails aren’t exactly the most darling things in the world. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I had a proper manicure!

That being said, with respect to wedding day beauty, I’m not exactly planning for a French manicure. When we talk beauty here at the Bear Cub den, what we (the royal we ) really mean is health. Let’s be honest with ourselves - when we’re healthy, we exude natural beauty! I’ve found some other brides along the way who’ve found this to be true as well.

As for my nails, they don’t exactly look healthy. I don’t bite them, but as soon as they grow a millimeter, I cut them back to nearly nothing - and for good reason! I have weak nails. They peel, they bend, they break, and all too easily! Luckily, a long time ago a friend introduced me to Nailtiques.

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This “nail polish” isn’t so much a polish as a protein-enriched nail strengthener. I accidentally sliced through one of my nails a few weeks ago while prepping food (OUCH), and this little baby is bonding the nail together again!
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Mr. Cubbie and I both love music - we love how your mood can change with just a song!

A few months ago he discovered a new UK folk singer, Ruth Notman. If you know who Kate Rusby is, she sounds a bit like that! Ms. Notman has some original songs, but when we heard her cover of Caledonia, we knew it was something special.

The song Caledonia (sung by Dougie Maclean) holds special significance to Mr. Cubbie when it comes to his mom.

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I’m not as obsessed with shoes as Kelly is, but I’m definitely particular. Most strappy heels don’t really appeal to me, and 90% of the time you’ll find me on the streets in some mod ballet flats.

When I bought my dress last year, I had a month to buy my wedding shoes for my fitting (I had to finish my alterations before the move!). That meant I had to get some shoes, and I had to get them fast. Luckily, J.Crew is always there to help a sistah out. Even luckier - her ugly stepchild eBay is always willing to cut you a black market shoe deal!

I’m short (a whopping 5’2″), and the Mr. is nearly 6’, so I definitely needed a shoe with a heel. The J.Crew Hadley d’orsays were simple and effective - just what I needed! And at a steal on eBay (even less than this listing!), I considered my shoe case closed.

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A girl is never “done” with buying shoes. No. It just doesn’t happen.
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News flash:

You can look at your wedding dress forever after your wedding, even if it’s in the closet!

The incredibly talented Introverted Wife (formerly introverted bride) will paint you (your dress) and your husband (his attire) on canvas –

via her shop on Etsy

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With an average gestation period of eight months, couples have a lot of time to think about their wedding date - a lot of time to sear it into their minds. That date (that number on a calendar) will forever signify their promise of love. It’s not surprising, then, when brides try to find the “best” date to save.

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My personal favorite I’ve seen recently is 10-10-10 (October 10, 2010). 101010 is binary for 42, and if you’re familiar with the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, you’ll know that 42 is the answer. The answer to what? In this case, the answer to love - any couple who gets married on 10-10-10 can rightly claim that their wedding date was the answer to love.

For other couples it might be something more mathematically simple - the anniversary of a grandparents’ wedding, a first date, a first kiss; that sort of thing. At some point, we (as brides) kind of have to let go of the power of choosing a date. The church might be booked on that date for the next 3 years! The perfect reception hall might already be booked when you already have the perfect church date!

Then you’re not so much choosing your date, as your date is choosing you.

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Probably one of the most difficult things to learn in a marriage is teamwork. There’s no milk left in the fridge? He picks it up on the way home. The dog needs to go to the vet ASAP, but he’s stuck in meetings? Maybe you can drive the dog there, while he agrees to pick the kids up from school later. This give-and-take cooperative isn’t always easy; most of the tasks we need to learn to share end up changing daily!

When Mr. Bear Cub and I moved in together, we tried to tackle this aspect of our relationship with a game plan. The easiest thing to pin down is house chores - they’re always there, constantly needing to be done. again. and again. We decided that if there was one chore that either of us detested, and the other was more ambivalent towards, that person could be off the hook. That’s to say, if you can’t stand doing any one particular chore around the house, your partner loves you so much that they’ll always do that chore for you.

Obviously this works best (most visibly) with big chores, things that always stack up. I hate doing dishes. I hate it. My skin is left really dry and my nails really brittle. I cook the most often, so it’s really tiring to have to wash dishes after hours of cooking. He, on the other hand, hates doing laundry. He’s not really familiar with separating lights and darks, and only knows one setting on the washer. Solution: I do all of the laundry, and he does all of the dishes. Always!

Before you start thinking that I got the better end of the stick here, it’s not all black and white.
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