Weddingbee

Hi ladies, I have a question about programs.  Namely - are they really needed?  We’re having a secular ceremony that won’t be longer than 30 minutes or so.  No readings, no hymns or prayers, all in all a low key ceremony.  Do you think it will be noticed if I don’t have programs?  Thanks for any advice!

triciaj

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My question is - how do you make it clear that everything on your table is not free to take at the end of the reception? For some reason, maybe its just my strange family, the last two weddings I have been to people have jsut taken things home - anything thats on the table, no matter what it is. Number one, really, why do they want this stuff? Number two, why do they think they are owed something at the end of a wedding? I understand some people give away the centerpieces. However, everything I plan to put on the table, I plan to resell. I have spent a fortune on all this stuff, and I would like to get a little money back from all of it….and anyway, we do favors for a reason! Is that not enough?dreambml

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My question/dilemma concerns gift giving “cultures”. We both grew up in middle-class households, but my husband’s family loves to get big, over-the-top gifts for each other, while my family does smaller gifts. To give you an idea, we are talking about $300+ vs. $50.
 
This really hit home today. I had been trying to get in touch with my BIL regarding going in on a PlayStation 3 for my DH. He finally got back with me today, and told me that he already bought him one! DH and I set a spending limit of $200 for each other, and his brother ran out and dropped $400 on him. BIL was weird when I asked him if he wanted some money for it, and told me it was “only” $400.
 
My MIL asked for lists this year. I thought this was a great idea. Yet all of them have high-end items on their lists, while mine consists of things like Bath & Body Works lotion and running socks. I did add a few more expensive items, since I knew they like to have a spending quota.

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I break into hives whenever I think of hundreds of people staring at me. I would prefer the fewest amount of people be present at the ceremony. However our guest list has topped at 300.

I also hate the idea of tradtional weddings, so my wonderful fiance has found us a very very unique venue (a historical reformatory ballroom) for our roaring 20’s theme. This uniquness is very important to me, and it’s really the only reason I’m agreeing to such a large wedding.

His parents were married in a small catholic church in his hometown and we both feel that would be a fitting place for the ceremony, but it’s an hour from the reception site…

My question:

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My mother and I have never gotten along particularly well, and the wedding is certainly making it worse.  She perpetually says things and makes outrageous demands which we accommodate, and then a few months later she forgets she ever said anything, and blames it on us that we are wasting our time doing everything upon which she insisted.

The latest screaming match we’ve had is over the yarmulkes for our wedding.  Sometime in March, my mother called up with the idea that she wanted hand-crocheted yarmulkes for the ceremony.  I just happened to have the conversation on speaker phone, so my fiance overheard this, and started making awful faces and waving his hands in the area and mouthing “NO! NO!” over and over again.  I told my mother we didn’t love the idea and we would just rather order them like everyone else, and she called me a selfish b**** and promply hung up on me. 

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Just curious: what are the top three things you notice at weddings as a guest?

bride

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Hello, hive!  I have been thinking about writing this post for the last week or so, but it has taken a little bit of gusto since this is not entirely easy to express.  I hope you can lend me your honest feedback and words of wisdom.

Basically, I am starting to get really scared about the impending marriage.  FI is a great guy, and I have always liked the fact that we have differing opinions and backgrounds, but recently I have started to really worry that our differences in religion and politics might lead to larger problems later.  The other night we got into a pretty heated discussion about politics which lead to a heated discussion about abortion, and although I realize that these differences of opinion are what can keep things interesting in a relationship, I wonder if it will ever stop becoming interesting and just become a problem. 

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We are planning on registering at the usual suspects - Target, Crate and Barrel, etc. but are really disappointed that there is no option that allows us to pick up gifts in a local store (thus saving guests shipping charges). As an online shopping maven, I do everything possible to avoid or minimize shipping charges, so we had hoped to be able to do this for our guests. So far I’ve called Target, Crate and Barrel, Linens-N-Things and Macy’s, and no one offers this option. Do you know of any stores that will do this?

If not, we figured these are some of our options:

1) Register as usual, but somehow tactfully suggest that people get us gift cards (which incur little to no shipping) instead of buying the actual gift. 

2) Register on amazon.com for specific items that are eligible for free shipping (though this will seriously limit our options, and take extra time/research)

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OK, so my FI and I are not exactly going on a honeymoon right after our wedding.  As a matter of fact, we will not be going anywhere after our wedding day except to the tranquility of our new house. Unfortunately my parents have other ideas. 

Since my parents are inviting many of our relatives from outside NYC to come to our wedding, they have asked me/more told me that they will arrange for a few members of the “family” to stay with us for the duration of their stay.  I hate to sound bridezillaish, but I flipped out. My FI and I were looking forward to some peace and quiet after the wedding, but now the idea of having to entertain houseguests is leaving a sour taste in both our mouths. 

To be fair, we both intended to take the week off because we both had family in town and wanted to spend time with both sides since they would have traveled from so far.  But our idea of spending time meant having lunch/dinner, not spending 24 hours chauffering them around. 

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Just wondering…how many bees out there have lived with their FI’s before tying the knot? For those that did, would you go back and wait if you could?

My hubby to be is planning to move in with me before the end of the year and to be completely honest…I’m a little scared freaking out!!! I’ve been on my own for a little over 2 years now and I LOVE it. I love having my own place/space and I’m really afraid of losing that. Is this nomal? Or could this be a major warning sign?

sweetart

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