Weddingbee Blog

Source

I know what you are thinking, and there is not a baby duckling on its way. However, that was the topic of the week at our couples counseling.

It was an interesting conversation to have, and while we’ve talked about it before, it was a good time to really look at a variety of issues. I thought I’d share some of the conversations that we had.

We started right at the actual birth and labor aspect. Now, because of my psychology degree and lifespan developmental/women’s issues classes, I have seen several videos of births. And honestly, it scares me a little bit each time.
Read more…

Read more…

Sometimes as I read through all the blogs and hear the stories of other weddings, I wonder: Am I doing this right? Should I have spent less money here? Should I add in this detail? Lately, I’ve been feeling the guilt of asking myself, “Am I spending too much? Am I a bridezilla? Do I deserve this?” There’s nothing that has really changed in our plans or actions to make me feel this way, but perhaps I do worry about how others perceive me.

As I read through my Google reader I came across two posts at A Practical Wedding and East Side Bride that seemed to voice some of the concerns I was having. It seems like there has been this shift from celebrating and admiring the budget savvy bride, to adding in the extra subtle step of judging those who spend more on their weddings. I don’t think this is always intentional, but sometimes it inferred in comments that are expressed.

We are beyond blessed to have a big family and an incredible community of friends and we want them at our wedding. Does this make the wedding bigger and thus mean a larger venue, more meals, etc. equaling a bigger budget? Yes, but I wouldn’t change that. I should not feel guilty or that I need to justify the cost. But why do I? Even now I feel like I should tell you that my budget isn’t out of control, that I’ve found good deals and I’m not being over the top. I’m not going to though, because that would be giving in to the feeling I’m trying to avoid.
Read more…

*I have not been able to stop smiling since Mrs. Bee gave me a Yudu. She basically made my month, or let’s be honest, more like my year! Now if you remember my obsession with my Cricut, Cuttlebug and craft gadgets in general, you can understand my pure joy in knowing that I now have the newest addition to the ProvoCraft family.

It arrived in a MASSIVE box last week and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Which is probably why I am behind in my blog posts due to Yudu research. I even burned a chicken the first night I found out I was going to be the proud owner of a Yudu. No joke, I ran upstairs to get my computer and look up Yudu demo videos and completely forgot I had a chicken on the stove until I discovered it was charred black. It’s okay, you can laugh at me and shake your head, Mr. Ducky did, as well.

I’ve been drooling over Gocco invitations and DIY goodies in the hive since I first discovered Weddingbee. I was originally hoping that I’d be able to use the Yudu for my wedding invitations that I need to make in the next few weeks.
Read more…

Being engaged is about so much more than just wedding planning. Yes, wedding planning is a very big part, but if that becomes a the sole focus I think you miss a big part of the process. The change from dating to marriage is a big one.

When Mr. Ducky and I got engaged we knew we wanted a longer engagement. Part of that was because of grad school and planning, but also because we really wanted to invest in our relationship and prepare ourselves for marriage. It should come as no surprise for those of you that know my background that we wanted to go to couples’ counseling or premarital therapy. After all, if I’m going to be a marriage and family therapist I better know what if feels like to be the one “on the couch”.

Instead of taking a class or going to a pastor, we decided to go see a licensed marriage and family therapist. Not that the other options are bad, they just weren’t right for us. I think any preparation that you do before marriage is great and can be so beneficial for the relationship. Many friends have asked us why went this particular route, so I thought it might be helpful to explain why we really wanted to have our own private sessions with a therapist or psychologist.
Read more…

A few weekends ago we officially started our registry process. I say started, because it seems like we have been continually adding, editing and changing our minds on different items. We originally planned on getting all 4 stores completely done in a weekend, and that definitely did not happen. All the choices are almost overwhelming. We decided to register at Macy’s, Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, and Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Our first store was Macy’s, and we headed straight for the item we have been coveting since we were engaged. The KitchenAid Mixer! We registered for a beautiful silver one that will match everything. I am already crossing my fingers that someone gets us this guy for one of my showers. Is that bad? My roommate in college had one, and I’ve been dying to get my own ever since I moved out.

Here is a picture Mr. Ducky took of me at Macy’s. Excuse the poor picture quality, but it’s the only documentation I have from the marathon registry day.

Now, here’s our dilemma regarding registering.
Read more…

The Seven Principles of a Highly Effective Marriage
By: John Gottman

Well, I have the last recap for our first Weddingbee book club book. For those of you that haven’t read the book or any of the posts so far, you can catch up by reading Part I or Part II.

Chapter 8: Principle 5: Solve Your Solvable Problems

In this chapter, Gottman discusses how to resolve conflict in a loving relationship. There are 5 steps.

1. Soften Your Startup
2. Learn to make and receive repair attempts
3. Soothe yourself and each other
4. Compromise
5. Be tolerant of each other’s faults

Basically this principle comes down to giving your partner the same respect that you give others in your life. If you have the book, Gottman gives examples of exercises you can do to work on each of the steps.
Read more…

I have finally sent out our Save the Dates and now that I’m sure everyone has received them, I can finally share them with the hive. We’ve seriously taken our sweet time getting these guys out due to delays from school, life, and just general procrastination. But, oh well, they are out and I’ve finally uploaded the pictures to share!

Without further ado, here are the Duckling save the dates!

Read more…

I’m still on the search for my own shoes, but I also need to make a decision on the bridesmaids’ shoes. However, I need the advice of the hive on what to do. I want all the bridesmaids to get their own shoes, but I do want to at least let them know what color to get.

In case you forgot what the bridesmaids’ dresses look like, here is a reminder picture:

The first option is letting everyone pick out their own silver or grey shoe.
Read more…

The Seven Principles of a Highly Effective Marriage
By: John Gottman
Part I

I really loved reading all of your responses and comments on the book so far. There were so many sweet stories from early in your relationships that are so fun to read now. I’m seriously jealous that Bear Cub has stayed in a tree house cabin, and just smiled reading all the romantic stories from the moment you just knew your SO was the one.

Continuing on with the book club, here is the next recap of the next few chapters in the book.

Chapter 5: Principle 3: Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away

This principle is basically about those little moments, subtle acts, and quick exchanges that show so much love and affection. These small moments are part of what Gottman says a happy marriage is made of because the couple is turning towards each other and are connecting. In an unhappy marriage, these moments and exchanges are rare.

Hollywood has dramatically distorted our notions of romance and what makes passion burn. Watching Humphrey Bogart gather teary-eyed Ingrid Bergman into his arms may make your heart pound, but real-life romance is fueled by a far more humdrum approach to staying connected. It is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life.

There are many moments where you can choose to turn toward each other or away. These moments add up to create an “emotional bank account” that can serve as a cushion or support when times get rough, you are dealing with conflict and stress, or are feeling distant. It helps to “maintain a positive sense of each other and [your] marriage even during hard times.”
Read more…

… Mr. Ducky proposed!! I can’t believe that Mr. Ducky and I have been engaged for a year. This sounds so cliche, but time has flown by. There has been so much that has happened in the last year, aside from just wedding planning, that has made it a blur.

I realized I never told the hive about our engagement story, and thought that maybe this would be the appropriate time to have a little storytelling session. Mr. Ducky and I had been together for a few years and we both had talked about wanting to get married sometime after I finished grad school. The question was, just when would the engagement happen? Mr. Ducky wanted to pick out the ring himself and surprise me, so I really had no idea when the proposal was going to come.

Whenever I tell this story, I have to go back a week before the engagement to Mother’s Day weekend of 2008. For Mother’s Day, I decided to go down to San Diego to spend the weekend with my mom, and Mr. Ducky stayed up in Orange County with his mom. On that Sunday, Mother’s Day, I got a panicked call from one of Mr. Ducky’s best friends. He had been on the phone with Mr. Ducky and all the sudden heard a loud crash and metal crunching, when the phone went dead. The phone was going to voicemail when he tried calling back. Of course, my heart started pounding and I immediately called Mr. Ducky, but there was no answer. I tried calling his mom, and again there was no answer. Minutes later, Mr. Ducky’s mom called letting me know that Mr. Ducky was okay, but he had been in car accident. It was one of those moments where your heart just drops and all you can do is stay focused on keeping it together to do what needs to be done. I jumped in my car and drove straight to the hospital to meet Mr. Ducky.
Read more…

Alright, who did their reading for the first book of the Weddingbee book club? I did! And if you didn’t, that is okay because I am going to recap the best I can so that you can quickly catch up and join the discussion. I’ll try not to insert my personal opinion and experiences in here and save that for later on in the discussion. Before I get into the recap, I’ll explain what we are going to do.

This week I’ll write a 3-part series recapping various parts of the book. As usual, comment on the post, but also head to the book club discussion board. There, we can talk about things in a little more detail. You can also start your own threads and discuss areas of the book that stood out to you. After all, the best part of a book club is that each person takes away different snippets and ideas based on their own experiences and unique story.

Read more…

The ladies’ dresses are all taken care of, so the next big thing to take care of is figuring out what Mr. Ducky and the groomsmen will be wearing. Mr. Ducky and I are planning on going shopping this weekend to find what he will wear on our big day.

Long ago, Mr. Ducky decided that he did not want to wear a tux. He tends to overheat, and did not want all the layers of a tux. And, he thought it would be just too formal. I think Mr. Ducky would look so handsome in a tux, but I also know he will look equally charming in a suit, and he’ll feel most comfortable in one.

The look of gray suits matches the balance of casual and classy. I have been admiring many pictures of gray suit-grooms lately in all the blogs. I have to admit that I really don’t know that much about men’s suits, so Mr. Ducky will be doing most of the choosing. I do love all this inspiration, though!

The Bride’s Cafe
Read more…

Remember way back when I posted about the perfect pair bridal shower? I know a lot of you were really inspired, so I’ve kept my eye out for other amazing ideas like that one. Well, last week, Courtney from Joyful Weddings and Events did a whole series on some of the amazing showers that she and friends have planned. I think I seriously was oohing and ahhing over every picture. Well, now all I’m thinking about is who I can throw a shower for so I can put some of these ideas into use.

These were made by Melody, one of the newest PROs.
Read more…

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight… I wish that these shoes would go on sale.

Kate Spade Lovely Sandal

I love shoes. I can’t go near a shoe department if I don’t plan on buying shoes. I think I have mentioned my addiction before. I’ve been so good for months and months. I haven’t bought a pair of shoes since early fall.

Well, I did it now. I tried on some shoes because they were beautiful. And of course, they fit just right.
Read more…