Weddingbee Blog

Hive, as you probably already know, I currently live in upstate New York (not for long…) and the Elk wedding will be on Long Island, six hours away. For most of our engagement, this hasn’t really been an issue with regard to planning. Since we knew we would have a fairly long engagement (one-and-a-half years), we slowly booked our vendors on trips down to Long Island. When that wouldn’t cut it, I had Mama and Papa Elk scout vendors for me. They even hired our photographers for us (and I still haven’t met them yet!).

Once our major vendors were booked, there wasn’t that much that needed to be done actually on Long Island. I got started on DIY projects and figured we’d worry about the smaller details regarding our vendors when we actually got closer.

Well…it’s closer. A lot closer. And now, that six-hour distance is starting to kill me. Hive, I feel so behind! I called our venue and bakery to set up tastings for our dinner and cake respectively. The only day we could do the tasting is 24 days before our wedding. When I made the appointments and the vendors heard my wedding date, they asked me “May of THIS year?” I started to panic.

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Hive, I’ve decided not to have a shower. Why, you may ask, would I not want a bunch of my closest family and friends to surround me and shower me with gifts and good fun? Well, I’d love to explain my reasons.

1) Center Of Attention. I hate being the center of attention. Like, the wedding is kind of scary enough to think about as is, but at least I’ll have Mr. Elk there to take some of the focus off of me. A shower would just be me, and that doesn’t sit well in my stomach.

2) Travels From Afar. A lot of the women who would be invited are not local. They will already be traveling to the area for the wedding, and I just think it is a lot to ask them to come again for a shower.

3) Friends in Small Places. Or should I say “friends who are students like me and have no money.” I have already asked my nearest and dearest to be in the wedding, which is a huge expense as it is. I really don’t want them to feel as though they need to spend more money on gifts for me and travel (as, again, most of them are not in the area).

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Well hive, this week has been incredibly productive on the wedding front! It started out with my apartment looking like this:

covered in the crafts I had yet to actually complete. Now, though, I am pleased to say it is tidy and clean after completing many of the tasks I’d been putting off for months!

I made 200 more of our personalized cocktail napkins:
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Have you ever been walking around, doing nothing remotely related to your wedding, when all of a sudden you see something and your brain goes into hyperactive crazy bride mode thinking about all of the ways this thing would make your wedding beautiful? Well, this happens to me all the time. It is an illness that not only afflicts me, but I think afflicts a lot of those planning their wedding (or dreaming of planning their wedding).

I call it Bridal Brain. Take, for example, an innocent trip to The Christmas Tree Shop. I was roaming around, minding my own business when all of a sudden I saw the most amazing lanterns, and immediately I was transported to the most beautiful wedding with lanterns glowing with candlelight. Sigh, I wish there were a big beautiful tree at my venue! In my head, I had already purchased 10 of them, despite the fact that I in fact have no place for them at my wedding.

image via Snippet And Ink/ Photo by A Bryan Photo

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Hive, I’m here to tell you that while I may pretend to be crafty and creative, most of the time I fail miserably. Want to see my latest failed attempt?

These are supposed to be my bridesmaids, each in their chosen color dress, for use on my programs. Luckily for me I showed these monstrosities to my friend Audrey (who happens to be the love of my dogs’ lives and my brother’s girlfriend). Hi, Audrey!! Anyhoo, Audrey recognized that I desperately needed help, and ever so graciously offered to redesign my ladies. Her effort proved way more than successful:

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Disclaimer: I understand that weight issues can be touchy. This is my own personal struggle with my weight.

A few months ago, I told you that my wedding dress just barely fit. I was upset with myself for a number of reasons; for one, I knew I had ordered a size that would be a close fit, and yet I continued to eat garbage and refused to exercise. More importantly, though, I had been promising myself for years that I would get my act together and live a healthier life, and I was clearly failing at it. My wedding dress just barely fitting was my wake up call that I was making poor decisions, and I was heading down a dangerous path. Sure, I was still technically at a healthy weight, but I was dangling mighty close to the edge and I was tipping in the wrong direction.

My weight issues stem back to high school. In 10th grade I joined Weight Watchers for the first time and trimmed down 10 pounds. I quickly gained the weight back, and spent the majority of my young adult life in the low 130s….until college. I found myself at a weight that made me miserable. I went back on Weight Watchers and got back down to my “typical” weight. I wasn’t thrilled, but had resigned myself to the fact that my body just wasn’t built to weigh in at my “ideal.”

And there I stayed, until last year. Working long hours in a hospital and being too lazy to prepare food or exercise didn’t do me any favors. I found myself creeping back up, until finally, after Thanksgiving I was back up to my heaviest. And that is precisely when I found myself in a bridal salon, with a consultant heaving and hawwing trying to zip up my beautiful dress.

And so, I decided to make a change. I took a step back and analyzed my typical food consumption, and realized that my downfall was always overeating. I wasn’t making horrible decisions, but I didn’t seem to be controlling my portions. My addiction to carbs didn’t help—once I started eating bread, chips, or anything of the like, it seemed my ability to stop when full was completely lost. I started poking around the Weddingbee fitness board, and realized the perfect tool for me was free to use and waiting for me to join!
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A while ago I showed you my awesome gift to Mr Elk for the wedding (remember those Indiana Jones cuff links?!). Anyway, since Mr Elk knows about his gift I decided to ask him what he was thinking of getting me for our wedding day. His response? Blank stare into space, followed by a mumbled “I didn’t realize I had to get you something.” Of course, he was totally on board with giving me a wedding gift, so long as it was something I really wanted!

At first, I was thinking jewelry all the way. I still haven’t decided what jewels will help to make up my bridal look, so I thought bridal earrings would make the perfect gift from Mr Elk!

I’ve been sort of obsessed with Kendra Scott earrings for a while now, and these have been high on my list of possible wedding day jewelry:

Jeanine Dangle Earrings in Lily by Kendra Scott

Even though I’ve been eying them for a while, I’m still a little hesitant. I’m definitely more of a white gold/silver sort of girl, and while I really like the gold in these earrings I’m not sure they suit me.

Unable to make a decision regarding my wedding day jewelry, I started to think of other things that Mr Elk could get me as a wedding day present. And then it hit me:
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67 days left till the wedding, and our to do list seems to grow instead of shrink by the day! AHHH. We tried to take this past weekend to cross a few things off our list, and its seems that it was the weekend of Mr. Elk, who got his tux (which we will talk about shortly) and his wedding band (to be discussed now!).

Now I should preface this entire discussion by letting you all know that Mr. Elk may choose to never wear his wedding band, and I am 100% OK with that. Both my dad and Mr. Elk’s dad have never worn wedding bands, and Mr. Elk doesn’t wear any jewelry at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just doesn’t like the way it feels on his finger. Mr. Elk seems to think he’ll have a difficult time picking up the chicks at his frequent bar outings with a ring on which is his biggest reason for not wanting to wear it (that was a very sarcastic comment, Mr. Elk is a bit of a homebody, and is very shy—I’m amazed we found each other!).

Anyway, despite my suspicion that he won’t actually wear it, I figured he should probably at least have the option of wearing it, which would require actually owning a ring. Well, it only took about 20 minutes at a local jewelry store and we were walking out with a receipt in hand (we had to order the ring in his size!). I’m pretty sure Mr. Elk just wanted the whole process to be over with, but I think he is happy with his decision. A very simple, cobalt band, and for only $250 dollars I can’t complain! Want to see? (note—this is not the actual band he bought, but it looks pretty darn similar)

via Amazon.com

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Our invites arrived!! I can’t believe how real the wedding feels now that we have our names, the time, and date etched into 125 pieces of paper! AHHHHHH!

I know it is customary in the Weddingbee world to keep invitations a surprise until they are actually sent out and guests have seen them, but I’m just so gosh darn (trying to make up for the expletive I used in the title) excited, I want to at least show you a bit of a sneak peek!

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It seems that everyone is writing their own vows these days. With weddings less traditional than ever, there is so much wiggle room to personalize and make things feel like your own. And with a nontraditional ceremony officiated by a friend, I thought our wedding would follow suit with the trend…until I actually talked to Mr Elk.

Turns out, he is NOT fond of the idea at all. In fact, he has basically begged me not to make him do it. Why, you may ask, does he not want to share his love for me on our big day?

It all comes down to nerves. Mr Elk is a nervous person, and private at that. The thought of opening his heart and soul in front of 150 guests, 90% of whom he doesn’t really know, scares the begeeses out of him! Moreover, he is petrified he will get emotional and cry. I think there is nothing more adorable than a groom crying on his wedding day (happy tears, of course!), and I’d love it if Mr Elk shed a tear or two, but he seems to think that would be mortifying.

And so, with my dreams of sweet personal vows crushed, I moved on to find more traditional vows that would fit the bill.
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Today I want to discuss the amazingness that is Ikea. Of course, I can’t talk about Ikea on a wedding site without mentioning probably the most famous of their potentially-wedding-related-products: the Tolsby Frame.

Image by Ruffled Blog

But alas, it is not the Toslby frame that has me singing Ikea’s praises at the moment. Instead, it is another frame that has my heart melting:

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I am VERY lucky that Mr. Elk and I actually agree on his attire for the wedding. Why am I lucky? Well, I picked my own dress—a dress Mr. Elk has expressed to me is not his favorite. But I love the dress and let’s face it, I am the one who will be wearing it. And so, I decided that it isn’t important what he thinks on this decision.

Bearing my choice in mind, I realized that I would be completely and totally hypocritical if Mr. Elk decided to wear something that I did not like and I put up a big stink about it. It is his body, and he can wear whatever he feels comfortable in.

Even though I am aware of this rationally, I was still nervous to hear Mr. Elk’s thoughts on his wedding day look. I was frightened that he would tell me his plan for our black tie optional wedding was to wear khakis and a button down shirt (his daily work uniform), and I would be obviously be cringing inside. Instead, I was shocked by his desires—to look straight out of The Great Gatsby (a book he has never read btw!).

To me, The Great Gatsby look means a certain level of elegance, definitely fancy, and overall timeless. I think this:

via Extra TV

Mr. Elk agreed, with one major point of contention.

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So, remember how I promised that I’d focus on the important things for the wedding? Well, I promise I looked up the process of getting a marriage license in NY state, and learned that we need our birth certificates, drivers’ licenses, and can’t do it until we are les sthan 60 days out from the wedding day. Task #1 complete (sort of)!

And to celebrate the fact that I did something important (well, at least researched something important), I did the most non-important project EVER. Inspired by Miss Fox’s awesome pimped shoes, I flat out copied her (hope you don’t mind Miss Fox!). So hive, I leave you with my awesome, newly sparkly Badgley Mischkas. (P.S. - I still can’t walk in them!)

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and I am starting to freak out! Where did all the time go? When you have a fairly long engagement (for us it was about 1.5 years), you feel like you have an unlimited time to get everything accomplished. Today, on the verge of being in the double digits, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. Sure I’ve tried to get a lot done slowly but surely, yet my to do list still feels about a mile long!

I suppose I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed about life in general. In five weeks I find out where I will train for my residency. After that, Mr. Elk has about 2.5 months to find a new job. Then I graduate, we get married, go on a honeymoon, move, and start our new jobs all within a one month period. I feel like I’ve kind of put the wedding on the sidelines because there are so many other things occupying my brain at the moment.

But I can’t procrastinate any longer, and most pressing items on my to do list include:

1) Figure out marriage license and name change information

2) Make sure our friend is actually certified and ready to perform our ceremony

3) Write our ceremony

All the cute little DIY projects I still have lined up to complete will simply have to come second to those on my priority list, even though the DIYs are tempting, as they seem like a lot more fun!
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I’ve known that Mr. Elk and I would have a handfasting ceremony from the moment I heard about them. It fits perfectly with our personally tailored ceremony (which, by the way, I haven’t even started writing) and beautifully incorporates an Irish tradition (since Mr. Elk’s parents are fresh off the boat, and we will have a few of his relatives flying in!). I love that our hands will be tied as one, and we will talk of how our hands will forevermore be linked together.

Anyway, this desire to have a handfasting ceremony was only intensified when I saw this gorgeous shot months ago:

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Larissa Cleveland

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