Weddingbee Blog

At times throughout our planning process, I have felt like I am on a little island alone emailing vendors, researching details, scheduling appointments, trying to adhere to our budget and timeline, worrying about everything. Ready.to.pull.out.my.hair. Understandably, I have gotten tired and frustrated.

A few times I have hit the wall and lost it. My fits (I’ll call them “bridal tirades”) haven’t been too severe, but let’s just say they don’t paint me in the most attractive light. I’ve noticed that I usually manage to utter lovely sentiments similar to, “Why am I the only one that cares about this wedding?” Mr. G, my mom, and others have been lucky enough to hear this a few times since we got engaged. Apparently no one understands what I am going through. Riiight, because no one in history has ever been married before. My feelings are completely unique. Uh-huh.

Despite my sometimes jaded perception of reality, I am definitely not the only person who “cares” about this wedding. A lot of people care. They just have their own lives. And their own lives don’t revolve around my wedding. It’s no offense to me or the wedding, but while I sit and deal with wedding-related business, life goes on all around me. Who knew?
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We finally made the trek to Hansen’s Bakery this weekend to pick out our wedding cake. Hansen’s Bakery holds a special place in my heart because (A) it’s a L.A. landmark (they’ve been in the business for seven generations!), and (B) my mom bought my first birthday cake at Hansen’s. Awwww.

I had two simple criteria going into it. The cake had to look old school and vintage-esque, and it had to taste super yummy. I think we’ve achieved both goals, and I’ll just say that I am in LOVE.

I have a teaser picture of our chosen cake’s “floor model” for you (yes, they had models of their cakes displayed all around the bakery).

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We are nearly two months away from the wedding. As I’ve said many, many times… there’s a lot to do. I am hoping to keep myself so “busy” that I forget to remember that I won’t have a bridal shower.

Several months ago, my lovely maid of honor, N, asked me if I wanted a bridal shower, and even offered to fly to California and host one for me. So sweet! I told her I’d get back to her about it, and left it at that. I procrastinated for weeks, and let a lot of time pass before telling her that the answer was, “No, I won’t be having a shower.” Of course, I thanked her profusely for her kind gesture. She touched my heart with her offer.

I won’t go into too much detail about the reasons behind not having a shower. But I will say that one of the big reasons was that my side of the family is small, and hasn’t always been the picture of perfection. Some people haven’t seen or spoken to one another in years. Awkward. I am mostly okay with my decision to skip the shower, but at times, it hits me and I feel like I am missing out. I also can’t pretend that it doesn’t bother me that no one (meaning my family or Mr. G’s family) seems to care. It’s not like anyone is sitting around wondering if or when I will have a bridal shower. I haven’t gotten one inquiry from the people I hoped would care the most.
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I want to attempt to lessen the stereotype that the groom/better half/significant other’s involvement in wedding planning is little more than silent consent to the bride’s demands and a general lack of helpfulness. Also why, as brides, do we sometimes fall victim to having such feeble expectations of our grooms? Just last week, an incident with Mr. G reminded me (again) not to sell him short on the planning front.

By accident, I found out Mr. G is plotting a wedding-related surprise. I was complaining about wedding stuff (a common activity of mine these days). In particular, I was trying to figure out what we should do about addressing the invitation envelopes. Should we do it ourselves? Should we get a friend with good handwriting to address them? Then Mr. G chimed in with, “Let me ask my calligrapher.”

“Who? Wait, wha? You have a calligrapher?” Seriously, I think that was my response.
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I’m not well-versed when it comes to buying bras. I usually wear the same Calvin Klein or Gap Body underwire bras I’ve been buying since college. Which leads me to my next wedding-related challenge. Allow me to be frank with you, hive. The “girls” will need some wedding day enhancement. They aren’t the biggest girls in the world, and I’d like for them to really fill out my dress.

(CAUTION: Anyone reading at work, there are undergarment-related photos ahead…)

Here are some of the options I am exploring.

Victoria’s Secret Seamless Bustier: A simple multi-tasker (holds in the tummy, too). It seems low maintenance and easy enough for me to handle.

Cleavage Cupcakes:
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The first time I tried on my wedding dress in the shop, I felt like an ordinary girl standing in a fancy white dress. Then the saleslady plopped a veil on my head. Once the veil was in place, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I remember thinking, ‘I’m a bride.’ It was exciting and surreal. I don’t know what it was about that veil, but for me, it seemed to have unlocked all of my inner-brideness. After purchasing my dress, I envisioned I would wear a very simple veil. What I didn’t realize until I went veil shopping this past weekend was that I *might* want a blusher, too. Gasp! When did I become so traditional? I even surprise myself sometimes.
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In high school, I was in the best shape of my life: toned with a strong core. The secret of my sleek physique was that I played competitive sports. You’d never guess it now because I resemble one of those un-athletic girly girls that ducks when someone throws a basketball at her. But, believe it or not, less than ten years ago, I was a snarling, sweaty varsity basketball player on a nationally ranked team. It’s something that I am proud of, especially now that I yearn for the athleticism of my younger years.In past years, I have joined gyms, taken weightlifting and aerobics classes in college, and even sent away for DVDs on pilates and yoga. I tend to get bored, and then I fall off somewhere down the line.

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Now that I’ve successfully teased all of you with our e-pics, I guess it’s only fitting that I reveal the goods!

Back in February, I got an email from my wedding hair and makeup artist, Susie Chhuor, about participating in an engagement shoot with Herman Au, an amazingly talented Los Angeles photographer. She introduced us and even offered to do my hair and makeup for the shoot. Thanks, Susie!

Last weekend, Mr. G and I strolled around the streets of Pasadena, California with Herman Au of Herman Au Photography.

We started in a back alley walking amongst trash bins.

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We had an engagement shoot last weekend in Pasadena, California with an up and coming photographer named Herman Au. The pictures were emailed to us today. I’ll provide more details later, but here are a couple of teasers. I’m IN. LOVE.

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My mom and I have been on a few excursions to local malls to find a “Mother of the Bride” dress. We hit a wall pretty quickly. The selection was mostly limited to two types. Mama Glitter was either (a) a 15-year-old going to her high school prom, complete with spaghetti straps and a bubble skirt above her knees, or (b) an 85-year-old in an ugly jacket with a matching dress combo. We were both shocked at the lack of choices. We’ve tried Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s, Calvin Klein, and a few others. We both kept deferring to little black dresses. But I was told a long time ago that moms shouldn’t sport black at the wedding. (Supposedly it means they disapprove of the wedding/marriage? Anyone else heard of that?)

Mama Glitter’s criteria for her dress:

1. Tasteful
2. Covers the arms (She’s not interested in baring flesh. Her words, not mine.)
3. Preferably cocktail length (She’s 5’2″ and thinks she will look even “shorter” in a long gown. Her words, not mine.)

My mom might be a little lady, but she definitely knows what she wants.

We plan on going dress shopping again this Friday, and will hit up Nordstrom this time. I am thinking good thoughts; especially after spotting these options on Nordstrom.com.
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Can I tell you a secret? I’ve never planned an event in my life (unless you count a friend’s birthday at a local restaurant as “event planning”). And I don’t know what I’m doing. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

Often times, I feel genuinely out of my league when reading through the posts of other bees or looking at weddings in magazines or online. Picture-perfect brides remind me of that girl from one of my college English classes. She always had the correct answers, and her nail polish matched her shoes. Next to her, I felt like the awkward girl in the back of the classroom who needed to borrow your pen and wasn’t caught up on my reading. I was always one step behind.

I care about wedding planning (or I wouldn’t be blogging about it), but I’ve got to be honest with myself: I’m a big picture type of person. Ask me what marrying Mr. G means to me, and I could probably write a novel about it. Ask me if the groomsmen’s ties should be matching the bow on the bridesmaids’ dresses, and my indecisiveness takes over.

I have general concepts of what I want everything to look like and how I want the day to run. But, now it’s crunch time.
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After Miss D’orsay’s endearing post about her lovely relationship with her future in-laws, I was inspired to write about Mr. G’s relationship with my family. Anyone who has followed my posts knows that I have had a tough time getting to know my future in-laws (exhibits A and B). I know I have done my fair share of bellyaching about my in-law situation. But, in my defense, I blame my bitterness on the fact that Mr. G hasn’t had any negative experiences in his quest to become an honorary member of my family.

Mr. G is like my parents’ fourth child. He and my mom exchange text messages. He and my dad go to the driving range together. He is invited to every family gathering and has even gone on a few family vacations with us. I love that Mr. G has meshed so well with my family. It just makes everything better. So even if my relationship with Mr. G’s family is a work in progress, we are lucky that life with my family has been a different story.

Oh, and I can’t say that I wasn’t thrilled when Mr. G made my brothers co-Best Men in our wedding. My brothers mean the world to me, and it will bring me great joy to have them stand up for us in June!

Brother Glitter with Mr. G in Vegas, 2008. (He’s single, ladies. How that is possible, I don’t know. Sorry, just being an annoying, but proud older sister…)
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Hands down, my best friend in the world is my Mom. Of course Mr. G is my best friend, too. He is my life partner. But my Mom and I go back further in the timeline of my life than anyone I have ever known. I am blessed to have the relationship that I have with her, and I am thankful for it every day.

Growing up and finding your way as an adult isn’t always easy. The past few years of my life have been challenging. There have been financial hardships and family struggles that have, at times, overtaken my life. Sometimes I think my Mom wishes my brothers and I could be little again. When we were kids, she could save us from anything. She was our world protector. When we were hurt, she gave us a Band Aid and kissed our wounds. When we were having trouble in school, she talked to our teachers.

But now that we are older, my brothers and I have problems that she can’t fix, and sometimes that makes my Mom sad. But she never gives up. She is always there cheering us on and believing in us. Our victories are her victories. Our pain is her pain.

I want both of my parents to walk me down the aisle. It just feels like the right thing to do.
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Oooh, I’m so happy right now. The bridesmaids’ dresses are purchased and the order is being processed as we speak!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about my decision to go with David’s Bridal dresses. But then I decided David’s Bridal was too big of a hassle. My girls would actually need to get in their cars, get out of their cars, walk from their cars to the store, then things would need to be tried on, and finally ordered. Oh, the effort! Also, I wasn’t convinced that the dress was really my style. It had the general look I was going for, but something wasn’t right.

I quickly moved on to other options that would appeal to a no-nonsense bride such as myself. As mentioned before, I have trouble ordering clothing over the internet. I usually like to touch the fabric and see things in person. So I knew I had to go with a company that I trusted. I had recently been cursing J.Crew left and right for teasing me with beautiful gowns and price tags that were out of my budget. Well, thank goodness my eagle eye was out last week. For some reason, I was continually overlooking the J.Crew Sophia Short Dress. Price: $150. I had to do a double take, because I couldn’t believe there was a J.Crew dress within my BUDGET.

I was even more overjoyed a few days later when I got an email in my inbox stating, “J.Crew’s Secret Sale - 20% off orders of $175 or more.” Umm, heck yeah!

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I think I’ve been living in a dream world, because I just realized that the Los Angeles County tax hike is occurring PRIOR to our wedding. As of April 1, 2009, our new tax rate will be a ginormous 9.25% instead of its previous rate of 8.25%.

Great. And the hits just keep on coming. I guess I should be happy we aren’t having our wedding in Pico Rivera (an area of Los Angeles county) where their tax increase will bring them to 10.25%. Jeez.

If you are living in L.A., or anywhere in California for that matter, and are wondering how you will be affected, check out this link: http://www.boe.ca.gov/news/pdf/l212b.pdf.

Have you hit any unexpected budget bumps along the planning road?