Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Mrs. Hot Wings nominates Mrs. Hot Cocoa’s post on ways she involved her family and friends in their wedding. Mrs. HW appreciated the perspective the post offered!
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Even though I’m a decrepit old bee, every once in a while a kind reader indulges me by pm-ing me a question. Recently, someone asked me how I went about “honoring relatives” at our wedding. Relatedly, a current post on the Judaism board asks for ways to involve more people in the ceremony. I’m sure many brides and grooms have this question, so I thought it’d be fun to invite the whole Weddingbee community, even those who aren’t Jewish, to share their suggestions.
I’ll kick it off by sharing what we did to involve our friends and family in our crazy Chewish wedding:
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
I’ve often thought I’d make a good cartoon: I have a cartoonish face (big eyes, smushy nose, buck teeth) and a cartoonish life (I swear an anvil* nearly dropped on my head the other day), and I’ve got all types of silly schemes I am looking forward to implementing against an evil nemesis.
* Ok, it was a hammer, but close enough.
But since Tom already has Jerry, and Jem the Misfits, I have to satisfy my desire for an illustrated life elsewhere. Our friend’s sister, Dina Kantor, made me this sweet illustration based on our favorite wedding photo after I fell in love with the whimsical illustration and photography work on her blog and website.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
We got married eons ago, but look at the gorgeous surprise that arrived at our door this week: our wedding album!
Our wonderful photographer, Leigh Miller, created so many beautiful images of our wedding weekend that it took Mr. ADD and Ms. Procrastinator forever to choose the photos for the album. I must say, though, that it’s actually kind of fun to have the album come so many months after the wedding. Not only were we wedding’d out for a while, we were also so saturated with media from the weekend that I don’t think we would have appreciated the album quite as much. Now that some time has passed, it’s lovely to have a chance to reminisce about the wedding itself (and to curse the pounds we’ve put on since).
Leigh uses Cypress for her albums. The company’s bookbinding and matting work is meticulous, and their album designs are timeless and beautiful. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
I chose this post because it reminded me when I was knee-deep in wedding details that (as I wrote in another post) a wedding is not a single “perfect day.” Instead, it’s a long process that begins with the moment you declare your commitment to marry, encompasses actions and decisions both significant and banal, and involves discussion, compromise, and community. It’s about the joining of two families, two cultures, two worldviews, not just about the joining of two people or the throwing of one awesome party. As I reread it now, this post still evokes the sense of adventure, love, commitment, and trepidation I felt—and still feel—about becoming a Chewish wife.
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I’ve mentioned before that I’m in the process of converting to Judaism, and I’ve promised to write a longer post about my decision to convert and what the conversion process entails. So here goes a loooong two-part post…
The popular assumption is that anyone who converts to Judaism for marriage does so only after being pressured into it (usually by a naggy future mother-in-law, whom I’ll call “Estelle,” after George Costanza’s mother). “My darling baby boy. You can’t marry a shiksa!” kvetches Estelle. “Did you eat? Are you eating? Vy are you so thin? Is that shiksa not feeding you?” But Mr. HC’s family has never expressed any concern about his marrying “outside of the tribe” or put any pressure on me to go Jew. To the contrary, they’re to this day incredulous that I’d want to do such a thing!
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Even though I’m a decrepit old bee, every once in a while a kind reader indulges me by pm-ing me a question. Recently, someone asked me how I went about “honoring relatives” at our wedding. Relatedly, a current post on the Judaism board asks for ways to involve more people in the ceremony. I’m sure many brides and grooms have this question, so I thought it’d be fun to invite the whole Weddingbee community, even those who aren’t Jewish, to share their suggestions.
I’ll kick it off by sharing what we did to involve our friends and family in our crazy Chewish wedding:
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Don’t get me wrong: I loved our wedding flowers. But every once in a while, I happen upon an arrangement on Saipua’s blog that takes my breath away, and I get just a little bit jealous of the New York brides and grooms that have access to all this beauty:
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
One year ago, on this date, we had a pretty awesome Chewish wedding.
In the last 364 days, we bought a house and moved in together after almost fifteen years of long-distance dating; one of us started an exhausting medical residency, while the other had on-again, off-again relationship with a Ph.D. from hell; our families celebrated weddings and reconciliations and survived difficult illnesses and hospitalizations… Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Hello! Just popping by because I saw that Gilt Groupe is pairing up with Martha Stewart Weddings for a Wedding Weekend.
From their announcement:
Love is in the air … and so is the flutter of show-stopping bridal gowns, bridesmaids’ dresses, wedding gifts and so much more. As part of Gilt’s Wedding Weekend with Martha Stewart Weddings, from March 12-14, we’ll be bringing you everything you need, want and can’t imagine walking down the aisle without — from beribboned silk heels to the perfect topaz necklace. (Something blue? Done.) We’ll also have sharp suits for the groom, get-pretty prep packages for the bridal party, dreamily decadent lingerie, and stuff-of-dreams honeymoon packages courtesy of Jetsetter. And if your head’s spinning with the task at hand, chin up — wedding editor Darcy Miller is on hand to offer her expert advice. This is your weekend to sit back, sign in to Gilt, and create a wonderful wedding at jaw-dropping prices. Enjoy the calm before the storm.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Alas, I finally have to write the post I’ve been putting off for weeks, the one where Mr. HC and I take a little bow and wave goodbye to the hive.
Our wedding whooshed by so quickly, in such a blur. So it has been especially amazing to have the chance to reexperience it through these recaps. Your warm, generous comments have made us feel like we had a large group of friends celebrating our wedding with us virtually. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Remember my alter bee-go, Haute Cocoa? She for whom the only thing worse than not wearing something fabulous is paying full price for it?
I thought I’d show you the results of my her luxe-for-less obsession in one mega wedding fashion post, linking back to the original post(s) on each item as a reminder of how all of these looks came together. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Now that you’ve seen documentation of our ginormous challah and crazy hora, how about a few details that are less “holy crap” and (hopefully) a little more “ooh la la”?
Remember the papercut table numbers we commissioned from Etsy seller papercutdiecut? They stood out beautifully in the $1 acrylic frames I purchased from the Christmas Tree Store.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
After surviving our never ending hora, our guests deserved to be fed. But first we asked Mr. HC’s two uncles to perform the blessing over the wine (kiddush) and bread (hamotze).
When we asked for a challah for 200, we weren’t quite expecting a five-foot-long monstrosity. But there it was. In its full, phallic glory. Seriously, this thing could have had top-billing in its own x-rated video.
As you can probably tell from the face I’m making, the challah tasted like burnt cardboard.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Quite a few bees have had PWCs (post-wedding chops). But since short hair makes me look like a Muppet, I went for a post-wedding curl instead.
That’s right. I did what I said I’d never do again after a hairtastrophe that I shall call the “poodle perm incident of 1988.” (No offense to Mrs. Poodle, who has a lovely hairstyle.)
“Don’t cry. I’m not a poodle, I’m your new big sister!”
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Now that we’re married, I know I should stop seeing “wedding” everywhere. But I saw these gorgeous photos from the White House State dinner, and my inspiration radar just went up.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Being a bride and groom is a bit like being a cute baby: people applaud you for doing completely banal things, like entering a room. After garnering huge applause for managing to get onto the dance floor without falling on our faces, Mr. HC and I snuggled up for our first dance.
We did the sixth-grade sway to Springsteen’s “Drive All Night,” which we selected as a romantic allusion to our fourteen years of long-distance dating.
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
All-Inclusion Invitation Suites
We did the sixth-grade sway to Springsteen’s “Drive All Night,” which we selected as a romantic allusion to our fourteen years of long-distance dating.
