Weddingbee

Mr. Jasmine and I have mixed feelings on this subject. We are certainly inviting our guests’ significant others: spouses, partners, fiances, long-time boyfriends and girlfriends. To us, that’s a non-negotiable etiquette rule. But it becomes less clear when considering guests with brand-new boyfriend and girlfriends. Or those guests who aren’t seeing anyone at all. Should we still allow those guests to bring a date of their choice?

We decided to allow all of our friends to bring a date, but we can certainly understand the alternate viewpoint. Those with spiraling costs or an out-of-control guest list may balk at the idea of inviting people they don’t even know. In those situations, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to invite the guest sans date. As Emily Post states in Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, “Allowing single guests who aren’t attached to significant others to bring dates is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is certainly not required and often not realistic.” However, some people believe that it’s inconsiderate to invite a single guest without a date, especially if the person doesn’t know many of the other guests.

Do you agree? Are you giving your single guests a “plus one”?

image courtesy of handheldmuseum.com
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Rebecca Trawick of Bluebird Studios
Funky, creative, and wildly whimsical are just a few of the ways I would describe Trawick’s one of a kind calligraphy. She is also the wonderful calligrapher who added so much style to Mrs. Gummi Bear’s wedding stationery! Trawick’s pen would be the perfect accompaniment to a wedding with a fun, light-hearted feel.

Laura Hooper
A favorite of Southern California brides, Laura Hooper has a fantastic reputation for high-quality, beautiful work. Her website features a number of calligraphy styles to match any type of event, from uber-traditional to modern to funky.

Nancy Howell
Recently featured in Martha Stewart Weddings (in the calligraphy cakes article), Howell’s work has a romantic, yet modern feel. I especially love the custom maps she pens– they would be lovely as save-the-dates or inserts in out-of-town baskets.

Ilee:
The best of both worlds: Ilee specializes in both traditional and whimsical styles. I love the idea of customizing envelope lettering to the recipient: traditional for your manners-minding relatives and whimsical for your sexy, fancy-free friends.

Debi Zeinert of The Blooming Quill:
I first spied Debi’s work on the Bella Figura website– her letterpressed calligraphy invitation is so exquisite. I was *thisclose* to ordering it for our wedding. Her style is so fluid, yet crisp. It could work for almost any type of wedding.

Betsy Dunlap
Wonderfully zany and whimsical, Betsy’s style looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland. I love how creative and inventive her style is– her style would be perfect for a truly quirky, offbeat affair.

John DeCollibus
Also recently featured in Martha Stewart Weddings, DeCollibus has an ethereal, highly romantic style. The seating scroll is such a lovely idea– it serves a practical function as a seating chart and is also a cherished keepsake when the day is over.

Maybelle Imasa-Stukuls
In addition to penning beautiful, slightly whimsical lettering, May-Belle creates truly lovely hand-drawn maps. I particularly love the whimsical key save-the-date below– I wish I had thought of that!

Are you choosing a calligrapher for your wedding stationery? Who did you choose?

all images courtesy of bernard maisner, bluebird studios, laura hooper, nancy howell, ilee, debi zeinert, bella figura, betsy dunlap, john decollibus, may-belle
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Taepper Salt and Pepper Shakers for $38.50:

Cactus Bowl for $139
Field Museum:

Blue Flower Pattern Teapot for $94:

Crinkled Porcelain Sake Set for $46:

Red Mata Ortiz Wedding Vase for $135:

Art Institute:

Chagall Glass Panel for $84:

Hand-Carved Chess Set for $68:

Glass Leaf Platter for $125:

Cobalt and Amber Glass Bowl for $85:

Kimono Throw for $142:

Artist’s Palette Tray for $68:

Butterfly Teacup Set for $40:

Tunisian Plate for $50:

Italian Teapot for $98:

Do you ever buy off-registry? What are some of your favorite off-registry finds?
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Images courtesy of Epicurious and Cookie Magazine

You know those weddings where the wine is plentiful, champagne flutes are generously topped off, and you have a martini in each hand? Those weddings where by the end of the night everyone is busting a move a la Jennifer Lopez in “In Living Color” because of one too many margaritas?

Yeah, our wedding is not going to be like that For religious reasons, we’re having a dry wedding. Although we won’t be serving any alcoholic options, I still want a delicious and varied drink menu. Below are recipes for some fabulous non-alcoholic drinks. You may want to consider serving some of these even if you’re not having a dry wedding — it’s always nice to have some fun options for teetotalers.

Mango Lassi (pronounced luss-ee): .
3/4 cup peeled and chopped mango
3/4 cup low-fat yogurt
3 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/2teaspoon lemon juice
1/4 cup mango sorbet
9 to 10 ice cubes

Purée the mango with the yogurt and sugar in a blender. Add the milk, lemon juice, and sorbet and blend until smooth. Add 1/3 cup cold water and the ice and blend to the desired consistency. Pour into a tall glass or two small glasses. Serve with a straw. This can also be made without the mango for a “plain” lassi– it’s just as delicious! These would also be adorable served in martini glasses with a coconut shaving garnish.
Recipe courtesy of Cookie Magazine

Wedding Punch
1/2 cup confectioner’s sugar
2 cups water
1 cup culinary organic rose petals
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
4-1/4 cups sparkling apple cider, chilled
2 cups rosewater, chilled

Combine 6 tbs. of the confectioner’s sugar with the water. Pour the sugar water into small plastic containers. Add the rose petals and freeze. Mix the granulated sugar and the lemon juice in a punch bowl. Pour the sparkling cider and rose water over the lemon and sugar mixture. Stir well. Add the frozen sugared rose petals just before serving. Dust the rim of the punch bowl with the remaining confectioner’s sugar. This could also be really lovely served in champagne flutes with one sugared rose petal for garnish.
Recipe courtesy of Chefs.com

Sweet Peach Tea
1 ounce tea leaves (Earl Grey or Darjeeling, about 1/3 cup loose tea or 7 bags)
1 lemon, sliced
1 piece ginger (about 2 inches), peeled and smashed
1 quart boiling water
8 cups ice cubes
2 peaches, peeled, pitted and diced
1/2 cup sugar
8 sprigs mint
1 peach, pitted and sliced

Place tea, lemon and ginger in a heatproof container and add boiling water. Let tea steep 7 to 8 minutes. Place 4 cups of the ice in a pitcher, then pour in tea. Blend diced peaches and sugar in a blender until smooth; mix into tea. Serve in glasses over remaining ice and garnish with mint and peach slices.
Recipe courtesy of Self Magazine

Watermelon-Ginger Agua Fresca
10 cups 1-inch pieces peeled watermelon (from about 8-pound watermelon), seeded, divided
3 cups cold water, divided
1/3 cup fresh lime juice
1/4 cup (or more) sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh ginger juice* (from one 3-ounce piece of ginger) Ice cubes
Lime wedges

*To make ginger juice, peel a 3-ounce piece of ginger and grate it over a plate. Wrap in cheesecloth; twist at both ends to squeeze out the juice. Or put the grated ginger in a finemesh sieve and press to release the juices. In a pinch, bottled ginger juice is available at natural foods stores.

Place 2 1/2 cups watermelon and 3/4 cup cold water in blender. Puree until smooth. Pour agua fresca into large pitcher. Repeat 3 more times with remaining watermelon and cold water. Add lime juice, 1/4 cup sugar, and ginger juice to pitcher and stir to blend. Add more sugar by tablespoonfuls, if desired. Refrigerate until well chilled, at least 3 hours. Can be made 8 hours ahead. Keep chilled. Stir before serving.Fill glasses with ice cubes; pour agua fresca over. Garnish each glass with lime wedge and serve.

This recipe might seem complicated, but it can be made ahead of time. I love the idea of setting out large pitchers as refreshments before an outdoor summer ceremony.
Recipe courtesy of Epicurious

Strawberry-Kiwi Sangria
8 cups water
8 wild-berry tea bags
2 cups sugar
4 1-pint baskets strawberries, hulled
2 25.4-ounce (750-ml) bottles chilled sparkling apple cider
6 kiwis, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
16 fresh rose geranium leaves, crushed slightly, or 3/4 teaspoon rose water*
4 cups ice cubes

Bring 4 cups water to boil in large saucepan. Add tea bags; cover and let steep 10 minutes. Discard tea bags. Add sugar to hot tea; stir until dissolved. Stir in remaining 4 cups water. Chill tea until cold, about 3 hours. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover; keep chilled.)

Puree 2 baskets strawberries in processor. Slice remaining 2 baskets strawberries. Place pureed and sliced berries in large pitcher (or divide between 2 pitchers). Add tea and all remaining ingredients. Stir and serve. Rose water is available at Middle Eastern markets and specialty foods stores. Like the agua fresca, this fabulous drink can also be prepared ahead of time.
Recipe courtesy of Epicurious

Ice Cream Soda with Lime, Mint, and Ginger
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup fresh lime juice
3/4 cup chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons chopped fresh ginger
6 cups (about) chilled sparkling water
1 1/2 pints (about) vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt
Lime slices (optional)
Fresh mint sprigs (optional)

Combine sugar, lime juice, chopped mint and ginger in heavy large saucepan. Stir over medium heat until sugar dissolves and syrup comes to simmer. Simmer syrup 2 minutes. Remove from heat and cool completely. Strain syrup into small bowl, pressing lightly on solids; discard solids. (Can be prepared 1 week ahead. Cover and refrigerate.) Pour 3 tablespoons syrup, then 3/4 cup sparkling water into each of 6 tall glasses. Stir to blend. Mix in additional syrup or sparkling water to taste. Top each with 1 scoop vanilla ice cream. Garnish sodas with lime slices and mint sprigs, if desired, and serve.

I imagine serving these as a late night treat; maybe in old-fashioned ice cream soda glasses with gingerbread on the side.
Recipe courtesy of Epicurious

Baby Bellini
1 1/2 cups peach concentrate, chilled*
4 bottles (750 ml bottle) sparkling cider such as Martinelli’s, chilled
48 raspberries**

*If you cannot find peach concentrate or purée, buy frozen peaches and purée.
**Raspberries are generally sold in either 1/2-pint or 6-ounce packages; you’ll need more than one 1/2 pint or one package for this recipe.

Pour 1 tablespoon peach concentrate into each glass. Fill each Champagne glass two-thirds full with sparkling cider. Drop 2 raspberries into each Champagne flute and serve. Such a sophisticated option for a formal, evening wedding!
Recipe courtesy of The Art and Craft of Entertaining by Kimberly Kennedy

Mulled Apple Cider with Orange and Ginger
8 cups unpasteurized apple cider
A 3-inch cinnamon stick
10 whole cloves
1 navel orange, peeled and sliced crosswise
A 2-inch piece of peeled fresh ginger, cut into 6 slices

In a large saucepan combine the cider, the cinnamon stick, the cloves, the orange and the ginger and simmer the mixture for 20 minutes. Strain the mixture through a fine sieve into a heat-proof pitcher and serve the mulled cider warm. This would be so lovely and comforting for a fall/winter wedding– maybe served in antique, mismatched mugs with cinnamon stick stirrers.
Recipe courtesy of Epicurious

Spiced Hot Chocolate
2 cups whole milk
1/2 cup golden brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
4 oz chopped bittersweet or semisweet chocolate
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Garnish: whipped cream, cinnamon sticks

Whisk milk, brown sugar, and whipping cream in heavy large saucepan over medium heat until mixture begins to simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low; add cocoa powder, chocolate, and cinnamon; whisk until chocolate is melted and smooth. Pour hot chocolate into 6 demitasse cups. Garnish each with whipped cream and a cinnamon stick. A comforting, decadent treat for a cozy winter wedding.
Recipe courtesy of Bon Apetit

What are some of your favorite non-alcoholic drinks? Share the recipes!
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If I win the lottery between now and June (or Mr. Jasmine decides to surprise me!), these are mine for sure! Sex and the City trivia: these are the gold version of the silver Manolos Carrie lost in the episode “A Woman’s Right to Shoes”.

A few more “in my dreams” options:

Bejeweled Jimmy Choos. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

Seductively strappy Jimmy Choos. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

A stunning, Grecian-inspired pair of Roberto Cavallis. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

I am in love with these sexy beaded Gucci heels. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

Some fabulous options that are more reasonably priced:

The Kate Spade Lola. So pretty and unique– it’s a shame the heel is too short! Image courtesy of Nordstrom.

Stuart Weitzman heels with a King Midas touch for $141. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

Saucy BCBG lace-up heels for $111. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

Classic, classy Kenneth Cole for $111. Image courtesy of Bluefly.

Which one of these is your favorite? What do your wedding shoes look like?
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1) Advance Notice: This is the most important thing we learned and the most important tip I can pass on. One couple emailed us hotel block information less than a month before the big day. Another couple mailed our invitation to the rehearsal dinner long after we booked our flight. Since we scheduled a night flight, we had to miss the dinner.

It’s crucial to give your guests plenty of advance notice of hotel room blocks as well as dates and times of wedding events. Flights can get expensive if not booked early and if your guests are anything like us, they will want to join in on all the fun. Advance notice in the form of emails, wedding websites, save-the-date cards, and/or invitation inserts can make a big difference in your guests’ planning.

2) Seating Arrangements: At every wedding, the bride and groom seated us with people we knew or people they thought we would get along with. We were glad for the great company because it can be isolating to be an out of town guest! Seating arrangements can be an arduous task, but guests are always appreciative of a thoughtful, considerate seating chart.

3) Thorough Directions: Accurate, detailed directions to all the relevant wedding locations are a must for all guests, but it’s especially nice if you include directions to popular tourist attractions and nightspots for your out-of-towners. Mr. Jasmine and I spent a sad forty-five minutes trying to find the Galleria in Houston!

4) Thoughtful Logistics: One afternoon wedding we attended had an after-party at the bride’s relative’s house. The only problem? The location was over an hour away from the wedding reception. Mr. Jasmine and I were happy to go because we love the bride and the groom, but a closer after-party location might have been easier on travel-weary guests. Try to schedule wedding weekend events within a close vicinity of each other so guests’ traveling is minimal. Additionally, if possible, try to avoid long gaps of time between events so guests aren’t left with no place to go and nothing to do.

What do you appreciate as an out-of-town guest at a wedding?
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I want to incorporate this tradition into our wedding reception, sans the scary gold lamé curtains, bitchin’ fake fireplaces, and (plastic) ivory pillars. I’ve been trying to think about how I might update the look into something more stylish, elegant, and modern. Then my fabulous coordinator Angel Swanson pointed me to White Night Design, a Los Angeles company that specializes in event lighting and draping. They’ve created some truly stunning backdrops, as you can see below (all images courtesy of White Night):

I don’t think any of the White Night images are from Indian weddings (at least, not to my knowledge), so their design ideas are sure to be useful to more than just my three Indian Bee readers. What do you girls think? Are any of you thinking of utilizing a backdrop for your sweetheart table or cake?

I’ll leave you with my favorite backdrop…

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Why is there so much pressure for us to look perfect on our wedding day? We managed to snag the loves of our lives just as we are, flaws and all. And I suspect that if we showed up to the altar with a little extra weight, a pimple, or less than groomed brows, those men would love us just the same.

Furthermore, the goal feels unattainable. I suspect many women, like myself, have days where they feel fabulous and sexy and other days where they feel like putting a bag over their head. It’s almost masochistic to choose a day twelve months in the future and plan, hope, and pray that it it will be not only a “pretty day”, but “the prettiest day.” Since when did the joyous glow of being in love become not enough?

That’s not to say that I’m against the traditional beautifying rituals of special hair and makeup. But planning a wedding is stressful enough without the added pressure of teeth whitening/weight loss/extensions/acrylics/facials etc. What do you think? How have you resisted/given in to wedding day beauty pressure?
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School seems to be the most popular and enduring place for couples to meet. I went through sixteen years of school without finding anyone special, but I finally met the man of my dreams in law school — just in the knick of time. Notre Dame will always be special to Mr. Jasmine and I because our relationship began and blossomed there.

Did you meet your fiance in school? Give the school a shout-out!
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