Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
I have a little bit of a problem with office supplies. When I was eight, I made my dad a “desk set” out of the top of a shoebox and a toilet-paper roll covered in plaid ribbon (a penholder, get it?). My heart skips a beat when our office manager tells me to look through the Staples catalog and order whatever I want. I often have the urge to buy lots and lots of pretty paper for no purpose other than to have it around. I have boxes of unused notecards just because I’m afraid of running out and never being able to use any again.
Therefore, this whole wedding-planning thing has been a dream. I can buy a $12 ream of hot pink paper to line my envelopes? Count me in. Calligraphy pen? Check! Card stock in every color of the rainbow? Yes, ma’am!
My “to buy” list seems to grow every day, but I don’t mind because it’s all pretty stuff. Mr. Ladyfingers might mind…but I don’t care a whit. The more office supplies, the better! But by far, the most fun office supply is paper.
Every good wedding deserves a suite of cuter-than-cute stationery, right? Our amazingly talented, generous, sweet graphic-artist friend designed our invitations for us, so that was out of the way relievingly early. (Stay tuned for reveals on that as I put some final DIY touches on the package!) But what about thank you notes, escort cards, programs, signage, and various additional paper ephemera and knick-knackery?
First, there’s the good old save the date. We didn’t do them, but you’ll see a common theme throughout this post: Stuff we committed to not doing, which research for this post REALLY made me want to do. Bad.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
In the beginning, I was all about DIY. I was going to design and print my own invitations, make my own wooden-peg-people cake topper, tackle countless decor projects, make memorable and unique programs, and—most notoriously—do aaaall the flowers myself.
This list has graciously thinned out over the past few months, as I’ve come to my senses (Mr. Ladyfingers is doing a happy dance) and realized that there are talented people out there, way better equipped than I am to do many a thing. People who are not distracted by the many facets of wedding planning (unless they themselves are getting married or have a day job as a DOC, both of which are totally plausible) while trying to painstakingly paint my headpiece on a clothespin or make 542 little paper garland balls.
Basically, Etsy is my BFF. Here are some of the most recent adorable, awesome things I’ve found and plan to order in the months to come. Perhaps you’ll find some items for your own totally awesome semi-DIY wedding day.
Wedding topper
I perused some book about handmade weddings in the hazy days after the engagement and decided I would make my own cake topper. Um…yeah, no thanks. I’m leaning toward the adorable customized wooden-peg-people option but love the vintage-cake-topper idea as well.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Ever since we started planning The Wedding, I’ve found myself concerned with things I never imagined I’d be concerned with. For instance: makeup. Up until like two years ago, seriously, I was all about department-store makeup. Only problem was, I had problem skin. So I finally made the move over to Bare Escentuals and, lord, let me tell you what a difference that made. Recently, though, I’ve found myself heading to Sephora on like a weekly basis, trolling the aisles and picking up all sorts of illuminating primers and lip stains and mascaras—mascaras! I never wear mascara! And you want to know the craziest part? I’m having my makeup done. By a professional. I don’t even need this stuff! But for some reason, it makes me feel like a bride. And this is why I hate commercialism. Well, love/hate.
Then there are the things I feel I need to line up in the months ahead. We are at just over four months and counting and, all of a sudden, I’m finding myself obsessed—I tell you, obsessed—over my appearance. This is not a very comfortable situation for me, as I typically think of myself as very un-vain.
The body
In January, I started working out. Like, for the first time ever. I started with Jillian Michaels’s 30 Day Shred and then moved to Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. I swear, I started seeing results right away! I had been eating terribly—fast food three-plus times per week and sweets and salty stuff every day, all day. And I was totally sedentary. In February, I started doing P90X, and not only have I lost some weight in the past five months, but my arms are more toned and I feel better. But still, I’m a huge slacker, and I haven’t mastered the art of actually working out six days a week. Plus, I could still eat better. Boo. Read more…
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Mr. Ladyfingers and I had never been anywhere outside the continental United States, so when it came time to talk honeymoon, the world was literally our oyster (well, not literally…but figuratively, definitely). Initially, we didn’t think we’d be able to do a real honeymoon. At the time he proposed, I was going to school part time for interior design because I was really unhappy with my journalism job and needed a backup plan. We planned our wedding date around my school break as it was, and we would probably only have been able to swing a mini-moon at best.
Then, though, fate stepped in. I found a job I loved, left the job I’d been unhappy at, and decided to put school on hold. I’d done lots of soul searching, and as I took a break for spring term to get acclimated to the new job, I found I really didn’t miss it; while I’d enjoyed learning about interior design, I’d also learned that the business side of things didn’t appeal to me at all.
With no more part-time school, my schedule had opened up wide. Our overall budget was still on the low side, so we planned a weeklong trip to St. Augustine, somewhere neither of us had ever been but still within our state. It’s a very romantic spot, the oldest city in the United States, and seemed to fit our honeymoon bill.
(Fun fact #1: I often type too quickly and spell “honeymoon” “honeymood.” Freudian slip? Methinks so.)
Then, as so often happens with me, a thought popped into my head. “You know,” this thought said, “you guys should really look into cruises. They’re affordable and fun, and will take you places you’ve never been.” Sometimes my thoughts sound like Kathie Lee Gifford.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
My engagement ring is perfect. It was my mother’s, and while for a very long time I wanted my grandmother’s ring (also handed down to me) as my engagement ring, when Mr. Ladyfingers got down on one knee with this shiny, wide, yellow band and sparkly marquise-cut diamond, I knew it was meant to be. The ring and I, that is—I already knew that Mr. Ladyfingers and I were meant to be. I’d told him all along to ask my dad for my grandmother’s ring and he did, but my dad gave him my mom’s ring. Whether he heard wrong or what I don’t know, but I love my unique ring; the fact that it makes my mother a part of the planning process even when she can only be here in spirit only makes it even more special.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
The vendors have been selected and the down payments all made. The dress has been purchased and is sitting in Bridesmaid Esquire’s closet. The makeup and hair artist has been booked. My workout routine and better-eating regimen has definitely given me a body I am happy about.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
I may have mentioned that I did a lot of freaking out in the first few weeks. Did I mention that? I freaked out. A lot. If there’s one piece of advice I could give you, it would be this: Enjoy your engagement before you start planning.
The number one reason for my stress was a lack of budget. We’d been engaged for about 15 seconds before I started looking at venues, having no idea what our price point was because we hadn’t even talked about it yet. But the number two reason was that without a guest list we could not choose a venue.
So we started innocently cobbling this list together, with no idea how inflaming this step can be or of its long-term repercussions.
Here’s what we did.
Get it all out
First, we listed every single person we could think of having at our wedding. This included distant cousins, high school friends, coworkers, people we regularly talk to, and schoolmates—and that’s cool, because once we got that list of EVERYBODY, we could start looking at places that held that many people and figure out our numbers from there. Some people have generous parents or family members who are contributing to or covering the bill. If that’s the case, the person or people paying should be involved in the conversation. We were footing the entire bill and decided that, while our family would have input, we’d need to have the final say on our guest list.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Close on the heels of choosing a venue, we started looking for caterers. We knew this would be the next difficult price point—with an initial budget of $10,000 for 80 guests, that meant our caterer bill would need to fall somewhere in the $3,000 range, including rentals since our venue only comes with round tables and a bunch of plastic lawn chairs.
Luckily, I’m awful good at doing homework, and I’d already searched all the major wedding sites and blogs for a list of caterers in the area where we’re getting married. I started firing off emails, and had the following responses and impressions:
Mattison’s was one of the first to respond, and offered an unbelievably extensive menu. We knew we wanted a buffet, we knew we wanted to provide our own beer and wine (and no liquor), and we knew we were providing our own cake from a third-party vendor. Their food and beverage fell to about $4,000 after the chef reduced the price of some items, but with rentals and labor and service charges, the proposed total was more than $7,000—and that would be before gratuity. Time to keep looking.
A rep from Milan called me to go over some details, and followed up with an email containing a link to their Facebook page. I never heard anything after that.
Nellie’s Deli was the next to respond—and they’re the ones we went with.
Why we booked our caterer at the first tasting we went to: Read more…
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Pretty much right from the beginning, we knew we wanted to do cupcakes. The first thing that prompted the decision was the fact that they wouldn’t require a cake-cutting fee. That, followed quickly by…
Cute
Delicious
Flexible (Choosing two to three flavors gives everybody something they’ll probably love, unless they’re on a special diet.)
Affordable
Cutelicious (What? It’s totally different than 1 or 2.)
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
I’ve told you how, for five months, I forgot what a control-freak paranoid crazytown person I am, and insisted I’d do my own flowers. And how I came to my senses and decided to hire a professional.
Basically, I already knew who I wanted my florist to be. I’d been trolling enough wedding boards over the past few months to have heard of FishHawk Weddings and their super talented designer, Stephanie. I’d seen the website. I’d drooled over the blog. So I emailed them, and a few days later I had an email from Collette. We set up a phone chat, and I went over some brief details of the wedding.
(By the way, chats like these make me feel like a crazy person. “It’s like a vintage look, but not like totally antique vintage rustic or anything. Like, some vintage, but also some modern. So like, vintage modern. Sort of. Does that make sense?”)
Collette was super sweet and patient, and took down all my random descriptions. The next day, she sent me an email with pictures like this.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Mr. Ladyfingers and I started our first date on a great ice-breaking note. He had sort of asked me out over chat—CHAT!—so I kindasorta lied and told him my computer was being quirky and could he call me? That’s how I tricked him into asking me out like a man: With his voice. I was super nervous and had gotten my hair all cut that day and my makeup all done by my friend, and I agonized over clothing. I don’t know what he was doing, but he tells me he was pretty nervous, too.
He was supposed to pick me up at 7:00, and when he called at 7:05, I went all OMGHE’sHEREWHATDOIDOOOO? And I answered the phone all “Hellooo?” Turns out, he wasn’t here. He was lost. Many moons later, I discovered he’s really terrible at directions. Like, as in, he has no sense of them. So once I got him to my place and got in the car, he started out with this gem:
“So, I thought we could flip this quarter, and whoever wins buys dinner.”
*cricket*cricket*
I believe he was immediately embarrassed that the joke he rehearsed on the whole way over just didn’t sound as funny coming out of his mouth. He still shouts and covers his ears when I bring that up today. It’s totally cringe inducing for him, which I find adorable.
An attempt at our first Christmas family portrait (personal photo)
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
In the initial days—OK, hours…fine, minutes—after getting engaged, I did a lot of freaking out. As in, financial freaking out. This was mostly a result of my trying to decide everything within a week with no information whatsoever. I judged the price of things by the first few places we stumbled upon, and had a meltdown thinking there was no way we could save a reasonable amount of money in the time between our engagement and our wedding.
Soon, though things began to look up. We knocked some things off the list right away—limo, f’rinstance—and relegated other items, like bridal-party gifts and pre-wedding beauty treatments, to our own personal budgets. We have some very connected friends with very talented buddies, and managed to book our photographer and DJ based on personal references. We found our hitherto uncovered venue from a bridesmaid, and our sweet graphic-artist friend designed and printed our invitations as a wedding gift to us.
Plus, I planned to DIY a lot. But I love crafts. And I love buying craft supplies. So it was a win-win-win: I get to shop, I get to make pretty things, and guests get to ooh and ahh.
I was particularly adamant about the floral aspect.
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FLAge and Occupation: 30, Marketing ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports WriterEngagement Date: December 24, 2010Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Palma Sola Botanical ParkAbout Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
