Weddingbee Blog

Mr. Grasshopper and I recently moved to a new apartment in Brooklyn. I would be lying if I said part of the motivation for the pre-wedding move, was not about having a bigger place to get ready the day of the wedding (not recommended by the way: invitation addressing and mailing the same week as packing and moving was a good marriage readiness test). We had to move eventually, but it probably could have happened after the wedding.

Three days after we moved in, I walked by the mailboxes in the hall one morning to find a sign that read “Block Party September 9th! Planning Meeting, Thursday Night”. WHAT?! That’s the day I am getting married! They can’t have a block party THAT day. That’s my day. But they can and they will.

I am expecting a cross between this:

And this:

And maybe a little of this:

Who doesn’t love busted fire hydrants when one is wearing her wedding gown? While I could easily get ready in a hotel suite somewhere, I really wanted to be home that day because I thought it would be more relaxing for everyone (read: me). I have come to terms with the block party and I have actually learned to embrace the additional festivities of the day. I suppose you just have to shrug and say “that’s fine” sometimes. I just hope the neighbor kids let me jump in the blow up castle that day.

I cannot decide about favors for the wedding. Originally I had thought we would do cookie favors. I actually said I would BAKE Mexican wedding cookies the week of the wedding and package them up all cute like because I am that nuts. More sensible people (my Mom) talked me out of this idea, thankfully. I also loved the idea of the boxed cookies by One Girl Cookies (Brooklyn represent!) so I thought that might be a good plan.

However, I recently read some wedding article that suggested if you want to cut back on wedding costs, don’t do favors because it is an easy way to make things add up quickly when you are trying to stick to a budget (that’s us!). This same article also mentioned that favors are more likely to be left on the table at the end of the night than make it home with your guests.

“I would NEVER leave cookies on the table!” I thought, as I defended my favor plan to myself. Then last weekend we went to a wedding in Ohio and sure enough at the end of the night, the delicious little candy favors the bride had so thoughtfully created were all stranded at empty place settings as the guests headed back to their hotel rooms empty handed. “For shame!” I thought, but then I realized this is the reality of favors.

So now I am faced with the decision, go with the cookies and sadly collect them at the end of the night as guests abandon them or make a donation to a charity of our choice? That sort of ruins the joke I was going to play on my Republican cousins by leaving a note on their plates that read: “A donation has been made in your name for the Hillary 2008 campaign” and then hand them their cookies after a few raised eyebrows. However, some organization could probably use a real donation more than our guests could use some baked goods, no matter how crazy delicious the cookies might be.

So folks, my question is: what type of favor would you not leave on the table at the end of a wedding?

Last week I went for my first dress fitting at the Gown Company. My Mom came with me and I told her I was well prepared that there was a good chance I might not like it again, as I have heard several brides talk about not loving their dress when trying it on for the first time after buying it many months earlier. She didn’t think that would be the case as I kept revisiting this same style dress in every dress shop we visited.

I tried it on and I liked it fine. It will certainly do the job for the day of the wedding, but I wasn’t weeping in joy over it. I am not a weeper, I didn’t weep when Mr. Grasshopper and I got engaged, so I probably can’t expect to weep over this dress. I am, however, feeling weepy that I didn’t pursue a Jenny Lee dress I had seen online but knew I wouldn’t be able to see in person until February as the spring line was not coming out until then. I was told by the sales person that a February order would be too late for my September wedding. Sigh. Why do I listen to these people?

As this title suggests, here are the things I have learned about buying a wedding gown that I would like to share with other brides-to-be:

1. DO visit another state to go try on the dress you think you want, if that state has it.

2. Do NOT keep visiting another dress online AFTER you have bought a different dress.

3. If you can, pay for the rush fee if it means making the right decision on your dress.

4. Don’t get worked up about a dress you did not buy if you have not even tried on said dress (yet).

A few people have asked about the labels we made for our wedding invites, so I figured I would offer up a bit more detail about them. We didn’t want to hire someone to do calligraphy for the invites, but we also did not want to hand write the names and addresses ourselves. A while ago I had seen these labels in some magazine and liked the way they looked:

I forgot about the labels until after we had ordered the paper or else I would have ordered a darker color envelope, rather than ivory. I searched around for a few label solutions at Staples and online, but in the end found that the 8.5 x 11 sheets would be the only option. These plain white sheets of sticky labels allowed us to customize the simple look we wanted.

I created an 8.5 x 11 document in Illustrator, created one label design with fonts and ink that matched our invites, duplicated a few of the designs on the sheet, and plugged in each and every address of our guests. Then repeated like 20 times. It actually took less time than expected. I handed off the printed sheets to Mr. Grasshopper, who kindly sliced up the labels to the perfect size - 8.5 x around 2 inches. He sliced them up with an exacto knife, a self healing mat and a ruler. I am proud to report the labels didn’t not produce a single injury.

Here is the final result. I apologize for the crappy pictures, but I took them before I realized I would want to post the labels.

Bonus time saver! I saved each addressed page of labels so that I can resize them and possibly use them for the thank you notes.

We finally booked our honeymoon! On a hungover Sunday afternoon, after a friend’s 30th birthday bash, we decided it was time to make our final decision about where we were going. With special thanks to everyone who gave some very helpful feedback a few weeks ago about where we should go, we decided that two trips would be our best option: a nice albeit shorter, beach trip now, and our regular explorer-type trip in the spring. Special shout out to Miss Daisy for this idea!

We were leaning towards going somewhere new to both of us rather than picking a place one of us had already visited, so we decided that our honeymoon destination is Kauai! We are heading to the Princeville Hotel, where I read you can put up a flag on your beach chair as a way to ask for a cool, frosty beverage. Yes, please! I think I could use one of these flags now.

When we were researching the honeymoon locations, I would check out photos of what other real people had posted on Flickr of these places, rather than relying on the hotels’ web site photos, which are generally not too accurate. Here are some pictures that convinced us:

From Wamzle: The Princeville Hotel pool:

From Chuck Cheeze: A Kauai cliff:

Last night Mr. Grasshopper came home with some books he had ordered, including Esquire’s Things a Man Should Know About Marriage: A Groom’s Guide to the Wedding and Beyond by Scott Omelianuk. He followed me around the apartment for a good thirty minutes reading off new wedding planning and marriage tidbits he had read on his subway ride home.

One of my favorites: “You must pretend convincingly to care about the china pattern over which your fiancee will agonize.”

When he finally stopped following me, he sat down on the couch and said “We have a lot to do. Did you know we should make a list of the photos we want to take the day of the wedding? College friends, High School friends, our parents…”

I think Mr. Grasshopper has been pretty involved in our wedding planning, but I have to think this book has lit his wedding fire. Based on what I heard last night, Things a Man Should Know About Marriage is a perfect mix of humor and helpful information and a great gift for any groom-to-be.

…just put your ipod on shuffle and see what happens!

You can’t make up this suggest a great wedding song game. Put your ipod on shuffle and think of each song in the context of a husband and wife’s first dance. I like to think of Badly Drawn Boy’s “The Shining” which is a really lovely song, but the lyrics are a bit odd and oddly timed.

Faith pours from your walls, drowning your calls
I’ve tried to hear you’re not near
Remembering when I saw your face
Shining my way, pure timing
Now I’ve fallen in deep, slow silent sleep
It’s killing me, I’m dying

to put a little bit of sunshine in your life

In response, Sterogum requests interesting wedding song options from their readers. There are some good ones in the group.

Last night we picked up our invitations from Peter Kruty Editions in Brooklyn. Peter gave me the grand tour of the studio and Kat wrapped up our invites. When she showed me a sample, I thought they looked great and said so. However, it wasn’t until I got home that I realized how much in love I am with our invites! I think I might like the invitations more than my wedding gown. I am so impressed with their letterpress work. I have to write Peter and Kat today to give them the appropriate adoration I so quickly walked out of the studio with last night.

The design of the invitations is a complete rip-off of something I had seen in Martha Stewart a few months ago, but I wanted a different dog (that looked like Sasha!) and bocce players instead of the other sporty kids the designer picked. My sister-in-law drew the little vintage graphics for us, which came out awesome, I think. In the end we opted to use the silly bocce kids on the rehearsal dinner invitations instead and use more traditional wedding graphics.

Our wedding is in September, which means our invites have to get out asap, but we are also moving on Saturday and still have an entire apartment to pack up by Friday night. What’s wrong with us?! We needed to make the decision of what needed to happen first: assemble and prepare the invitations or pack? The invites won over! Yay! And Mr. Grasshopper helped me all night with slicing up our custom labels.

I would prepare the individual labels on the computer:

And he would slice them up. Check him out hard at work. Doesn’t he look thrilled?

Anyway, check out Peter Kruty if you are interested in letterpress work. They were so, so great to work with and the invitations came out awesome (I think so anyway :)).

The sun sets at 7:15 on the day of our wedding, which is perfect for our ceremony and outdoor cocktail hour. If you are having an outdoor wedding or ceremony, find out when the sun will set on your wedding day through weather.com’s wedding tools.

Mr. Grasshopper and I cannot decide where to go for our honeymoon. We’ve been doing research all weekend and just don’t know which is the best location for us. Before we look at one more villa or beach web site, I am reaching out to the weddingbee readers to ask, “Where do you think we should go for our honeymoon?”

We are looking to go right after the wedding for about 10 days in mid-September. Here is what I can tell you we are looking for:

• Sandy beaches to relax on after 11 months of planning this wedding
• Fun activities (surfing, kayaking, hiking, exploring, people watching, not clubbing)
• Culture
• Delicious food and drinks
• A location that does not take more than a day to get to (Australia and Fiji)
• A place that isn’t mired in rainy/hurricane season (Mexico and the Caribbean)

Here is what we have considered:

Hawaii (Kauai and Maui). What we like about Hawaii is the idea of sitting on a sandy beach and relaxing, but also having some activities to pursue, like kite surfing, kayaking, and hiking. And, maybe we will get picked to play extras on Lost!

The Amalfi Coast (Capri and Positano). The thought of going to the Italian Coast is appealing to us because we would be near a beach (though maybe too rocky?), we could enjoy delicious Italian cuisine (gelato!), and the old world culture would balance out the beach vacation with something interesting if we need a break from the waves.

So what do y’all think? Hawaii or Italy? Other suggestions?

Everyone has a rough time paring down their guest list, but for one potential guest, I just don’t know if she will get an invitation. She is super sweet and loving, but she can also be a bit exuberant at times, is known to voice her opinion when not happy, and enjoys offering people a hearty jump when greeting them. “Who is this freak?!” you ask?

Meet Sasha, our two year old puppy.

She tends to go everywhere with us, seriously, she does. We are those people. She comes to the bar with us for happy hour, she goes hiking with us when we head to the mountains and soon she will even be working part-time with Mr. Grasshopper. His officemates should love that. It is hard to imagine her not coming to the wedding.

Mr. Grasshopper wants her at the wedding, no questions asked. So do I, sort of. I think she might bark if no one pays attention to her during the ceremony though. On the other hand, I also think some of the dog-at-the-wedding photos are pretty cute.

Jcrew puppy

Knottie puppy

To be clear, I have no intentions of dressing her up or asking her to play any specific wedding party role. We’re not that insane. Yet. Maybe she’ll just get one of the collars and leashes Mrs. Bee posted about a few weeks ago.

So how do we handle this? I don’t think she should be there the whole night-she just needs to meet and greet, take a few photos and then head home. I think we’ll ask our dog walker to bring her after the ceremony, watch over her at the reception for a bit (to make sure she doesn’t do her jumping hello), and then bring her home for the evening. I hope the dog walker is down with this idea. I think this could be a booming side business for dog walkers!

Ok, so honestly, are we the only nutty people out there who are thinking of inviting their dog to the wedding? C’mon people! Who’s with me?!

Last weekend was my “surprise” bridal shower. A few months ago while at brunch with my family, my sister-in-law leaned over and said “Your shower is June 3rd, right?” I quietly told her I thought it was surprise and that I wouldn’t tell anyone I knew. My sister and my Mom take surprises very seriously, so I wanted to try to keep it going for them. Personally, I was thrilled to know! I could plan my outfit, make sure my hair looked ok, and be prepared to smile, open lots of gifts all afternoon, and provide witty appreciations for all the shiny new kitchen toys.

During the last couple of weeks approaching the shower, people were dropping gems all over the place. One friend’s husband asked me if I knew if my shower was outside or inside. I thought his wife might shoot him. Quite a few people sent gifts with cards telling me to “enjoy your shower!!” It was hilarious.

When the day finally arrived, I was nervous! Nervous I wouldn’t act surprised enough and nervous to open gifts in front of everyone (I don’t like being the center of attention). Mr. Grasshopper was responsible for getting me to the shower, which was funny considering the restaurant was in a neighborhood we have never been to together. Not once in our entire courtship. It would have been weird had he needed to keep the day a secret from me and tried to get me to Hell’s Kitchen without an explanation.

We finally arrived at the shower, after quite a few outfits that were cute enough to pass for a shower, but not cute enough to give away my knowing. It was really an exciting and lovely afternoon. Walking into a room of people from every aspect of my life was enough surprise for this girl. The afternoon went so fast and was very fun. If the shower was an indication of how quickly the wedding will fly by, I have a feeling at midnight Mr. Grasshopper and I are going to look at each other and say, “How is it midnight already?”

I am clearly very excited about that pitcher.

My family, working very hard, and by hard I mean cheating, on their shower bingo answers.

Good times all around! That’s my seven year old niece and flower girl on the right. Look at that child’s arm muscles! In the black pants, you’ll find my best friend, Melissa, from nursery school. Our Moms had our baby showers together. Melissa drank no fewer than six mimosas at the shower. The waiter (in white in this picture) was counting.

And my Momma and me!

While we have already selected our venue for the wedding, a friend from work has been after me to switch it to the Precious Moments Park Chapel in Missouri. Be sure to check out the chapel paintings. They’re pretty, um, interesting. Here are some photos from from their Wedding Island:

Picture perfect

A bride and groom exchanging vows

Fancy dance floor

The honeymoon suite?

This past weekend was my “surprise” shower (I’ll post more about that later). A friend thought it was hilarious that I ended up with three of the same pots even though I registered for one. Specifically because my Aunt bought me a pot I registered for, from another store!

I am all for going off the registry and picking something different (surprise gifts!), but going to *another* store and buying something the person registered for, what did she think was going to happen?! What is the point of registry?!

Anyway, the New York Times offers some guidance on registry dos and don’ts.

Last week I sent around quite a few emails to letterpress printers requesting estimates. I had designed our wedding invites myself and just needed someone to print them. I finally decided on Peter Kruty Editions. They were nice to work with over email and the phone, gave great suggestions on how to prep the artwork, and came back with an estimate that was quite a bit less expensive than the other New York based companies.

If you are a do it yourself bride and want to design your own invites, or would love to have one of the very talented designers at a letterpress house design your invitations, check out this list of letterpress printers:

Peter Kruty Editions
Coeur Noir
Sway Space
Mercurio Brothers
Wood Side Press
EM Letterpress
Moon Tree Arts
Sesame Letterpress
Papercup Design

If you are a really crazy bride, you could learn to do your own letterpress at the Center for Book Arts. The next class is June 14th, though it looks like they have a waitlist already!