Weddingbee

A lot of people ask if our engagement was a surprise to me. The answer is yes. An opportunity to go to Paris and stay in a friend’s apartment was offered to us in late September. Mr. Grasshopper and I jumped at the chance and took off for Paris less than two weeks later. Before we left a few friends asked me, “Do you think you’ll get engaged in France?” and I said “No. We live together. I know when he buys socks. I would know if he bought a diamond ring.” He wouldn’t be able to keep that a secret.

But he did! And he asked my parents! Well, he asked my Mom anyway. My Dad had fallen asleep while they were watching a Yankee game and Mr. Grasshopper had to wait for him wake up before he could ask.

We flew to Paris the next weekend, late on a Friday night and arrived bright and early on Saturday morning. We attempted to walk around for a bit, but exhaustion took over and we headed back to the apartment and napped for the afternoon.

When we woke up, I was talking non-stop about how hungry I was. We headed out to check out some of the stuff in our neighborhood and ended up walking along the Seine. When I couldn’t take it anymore I said “I *need* to eat.” and Mr. Grasshopper said “The Alexander III Bridge is maybe three more bridges away, let’s see it and then eat,” which was fine, because before we left his Grandmother was all about how beautiful this bridge was so I knew we wanted to see it at some point.

We finally arrived to the bridge and it was lovely, but it felt like we were there forever. Seriously I think we stood there for 15 minutes! Finally I said “Do you want to get dinner?” and he said “Do you want to get married?” Who says it like that?! Thinking this question was more like a survey and not a proposal, I answered “Maybe. Someday.” and then “Oh wait, you’re serious?” He said “Yes!” And then I said “Of course!” and he placed the ring on the bridge wall! Who does THAT?! He quickly decided my hand was probably a better place for the ring. In conclusion, a famished Miss Grasshopper got a life long commitment and dinner.

It was so nice that he asked as soon as we got to town - we had all week to celebrate. Now every time I see the bridge on tv or in the movies I yell “That’s our bridge!” Well, maybe I get more excited when we are at home. Not at the movies. That would be sort of rude to the other film enthusiasts if I started yelling during a movie.

The Alexander III Bridge

After a quick check in on the knot message boards this weekend, I found a listing of what the other September brides have done and what is left of their planning. I left the boards quickly before freaking out any further about what we have left to finish. We have a lot of work to do! Thank goodness this weekend was declared wedding planning bonanza. Here is my list:

DONE
Ceremony/reception location
Officiant
Photographer
Florist
DJ
Dress
Hair and makeup artist
Hotel Block
Guest addresses and names collected
BM dresses ordered (sort of, I am still waiting for the store to charge my card!)
Ring bearer pillow selected (though we may change)
Wedding night hotel

NOT DONE
Pick wedding bands
Design invites
Print invites
Order stamps
Address invites
Mail invites
Grooms clothes
Groomsmen clothes
Decide on transportation
Another hair and makeup trial (first was eh…)
Design and print rehearsal dinner invites
Sign contract with rehearsal dinner space
Select something to hold cards in (grandma’s purse?!)
Select favors (or bake and package them)
Decide on a guest book
Buy a veil
Buy shoes
Select ceremony readings
Pick songs for processional and recessional
Plan honeymoon
Write, design and print program
Parents’ gifts
Decide if we need placecards and then design or order them
Buy attendant gifts
Decide on jewelry
Marriage license
Create OOT baskets/bags

Mr. Grasshopper quit smoking nearly three years ago, which still impresses me daily, but in doing so he put on some additional lbs, which did not make him very happy even though I still thought he looked hot.

The day we got engaged he declared that he would lose 30 pounds by the wedding, which also happens to be two weeks before his 30th birthday, so he coined this strategy “30 by 30.” I am happy to report that he has already reached his goal in just 5 short months! He has been exercising four days a week and cutting back on bad carbs and opting for healthy snacks, and is now on to a “40 by 30- plan, which doesn’t have the same ring, but is of course, more awesomer than “30 by 30.”

I on the other hand am still only visiting the gym once every other week. This week I decided four trips a week is required until the wedding day blast off. I’ll be happy if I show up twice a week.

When I finally bought my dress in December the last thing Olga, my sales friend, said to me was, “We’ll see you in May. Don’t forget to bring your heels and veil!” Sure! No problem, I have over five months to hunt for the perfect shoes. We have now reached mid-May and I am still shoes-and-veil-less and my dress should arrive next week. I need to act fast, but I just cannot decide.

Do I drop some serious cash on a pair of white Stuart Weitzman or Filippa Scott heels I will never wear again just because it is my wedding day?

Do I try to think more practically and pick up a great pair of silver strappy heels that I can wear again and again, and be reminded of my day with every outing to the Lower East Side?

What about the shoes that look a bit like something Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman (pre-makeover)? They certainly look fun, but are they wedding appropriate? If you have to question something, that probably means it is tacky, right?

Our venue can hold 125 folks for a sit down dinner, which is perfect for our 125 person guest list. What is not perfect is that we also want to do everything from the ceremony to the dancing in our venue to keep everyone from having to hike all around the city. Right now we are trying to figure out how to transition from moment to moment of the wedding naturally, without having our guests watch the break down of the ceremony into the dinner and reception set-up.

We thought we could move everyone up to the mezzanine for the cocktail hour, but learned that wouldn’t work because the mezzanine only holds 85 folks. Hmm. Now what?

Then we thought, “ok we’ll have a cocktail reception!” which would require less set-up and everyone could mingle all night long! But then we realized people are showing up for a ceremony at 5:30 p.m. and will be expecting to eat a full meal. Sigh. So what to do?

How can one have a cocktail style wedding or tapas in the evening, and still make sure the guests are happy with their food and feel satisfied when they go home? I personally love tapas and would probably prefer it over a full sit down meal, but I don’t know if this would fly with everyone.

What do you all think? Is there a way to do a creative tapas dinner that might require less set-up for the reception so that guests could mingle freely without feeling they are in the way of a room change or that they were robbed of a real meal?

…we’re all going to sync them at the door before the ceremony.

At a family dinner one night, my Aunt asked how our wedding plans were coming along. Here is how the dialogue went:

Aunt: Do you have a cake yet?
Me: Yes, we have a great bakery in Brooklyn we plan to work with…
Aunt: Because I could give you the name of the place where I got the Chocolate Mousse cake that I brought tonight.
Me: Oh, thanks, um.. sure, but I think we might end up at this bakery I mentioned, just because they’re local and we really love their stuff.
Aunt: And a band? Do you have a band yet?
Me: We are still deciding if we want a band or a dj. We know this great band, but aren’t sure if their music would work for everyone for a full night…
Aunt: I had a jazz band at my wedding, do you remember? They were great.
Me: Yeah, I guess I sort of remember (I was 11 when she got married, I am now 28).
Aunt: I wonder if they are still playing… I could find their name if you want.
Me: Do wedding bands stay together for that long?
Aunt: I’ll look for their name!
Me: Well, we were also thinking of just asking a friend to dj from an ipod or something…
Aunt: What?! How would that work? Then only one person could hear the music at a time?
Me: Mom, do you need help clearing dessert from the table?

When we got engaged I said I wanted my arms to look like Linda Hamilton’s in Terminator II by the wedding. Well maybe not as large. Yeah, maybe more like Angelina Jolie’s in the movie Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, you know, before she got knocked up by Brad Pitt. As someone who does not like to go to the gym very often, I realized this was going to be a challenge, which is why I decided to check out the book The Body You Want In The Time You Have.

This book outlines fitness regimens for any schedule. Only have 10 minutes a week to work out? This book has a workout for you. Have 45 minutes four times a week for a workout? Check out this book. There are four workout plans for each schedule: one for building lean muscle, one for weight loss, one for muscle power, and one that combines the best of all three.

While this book looks to fall within the beefcakey variety based on the cover art and the fact that Men’s Health issues the book, let’s all remember what the school librarian told us back in grade school. I won’t even say it, just check out the book if you are looking or an exercise renaissance 10 minutes a week.

Back in 1995 when my sister got married, she decided she didn’t want to pick out bridesmaid dresses for all the girls, but instead bought us the same navy material and asked us to design our own dresses. At sixteen, I considered myself a budding fashion designer, and was thrilled with this task. I designed a floor length sheath with a high neckline and a low open back. A good look for a girl who decided to become a lifeguard that summer and had some awesome lifeguard swimsuit tan lines on her back. I am sure no one noticed. No one except, everyone, as I stood at the altar with my back to the church.

When my sister made this decision to not have her bridesmaids look like soldiers, everyone was shocked and loved the idea. Mind you we were just passing the beaded, puffy sleeved stage of the early nineties; few brides allowed their ladies to make such decisions. Fast forward to 2006 when allowing bridesmaids to wear a dress they have selected is all the rage. Many dress companies from David’s Bridal to Saeyoung Vu are offering collections that allow bridesmaids to pick out styles of dresses that fit their body type and comfort level, while still maintaining the same material, color, and shapes so that the bridal party dresses look related.

My bridesmaids are spread all over the country - Ohio, California, Maryland and New York, so getting them together for a dress hoedown was just not happening. I tried to make things as easy as possible and ended up ordering dresses from Simple Silhouettes in Soho because the material, styles and color worked for everyone and the dresses could be found in bridal stores all over the country.

I think they will look great, but I think it is funny that I gave them the freedom to pick out whatever style and trim they wanted and four out of six girls picked the same strapless dress. If I had to do this again, I think I would give them fewer parameters and ask them show up with “any pink dress” as to allow them to really highlight their personalities and styles. While this day is primarily about Mr. Grasshopper and me, I also want it to be about how unique and special our friends are to us.

Where will we put the bocce court?

Before Mr. Grasshopper and I got engaged we talked about how awesome it would be to somehow incorporate bocce into our future wedding. You see, we love bocce. We play on weekends in the park, we play at the beach when we travel and we play in a league in Brooklyn at a bar called Floyd, so naturally having a place to play bocce during our wedding reception made sense to us.

After we made the decision to have our wedding at the Foundry, a renovated steel foundry placed in Long Island City, instead of the Wainright House, where one can find a rolling lawn perfect for outdoor bocce, we realized we lost our chance of working bocce into the wedding. However, if there is one thing I am not ready to give up on, it’s this. I will let go of the dream of the string quartet, the art deco brown china plates, and the giant tree and luminaire centerpieces, but you cannot have my bocce court. Yet.

I have been researching the idea of bring in sod and laying it down in the all stone courtyard at the Foundry and adding a portable court. Or really getting serious about this and asking my Dad to build us a real court, but something portable that we can take in and walk out with post wedding. The question is, what to do about the four tons of sand we would have to bring in at 2 p.m. the day of the wedding, and clean up by 2 a.m.?

When I first started planning our wedding back in October I was bookmarking websites, ideas, photos - anything wedding related on my laptop, my home desktop computer and my work computer. After about two months of emailing myself links from one computer to the next, I decided to check out del.icio.us. It’s a web bookmarking system that allows users to save their favorite sites, add a title, notes and tags and access the bookmarks from any computer connected to the web. No more jumping back and forth! It was great.

As I started adding my own bookmarks and tagging them “wedding” or “shoes” I started to find other people who had bookmarked the same letterpress site or beaded handbag, leading me to other wedding related sites and ideas from other del.icio.us brides. This is how I discovered weddingbee!

Using del.icio.us has turned out to be a great wedding planning tool for me. I highly recommend checking out how it might work for your planning. You can sign up for a free account at del.icio.us and browse the other sites tagged according to your interests. To get to started, you can check out all the sites tagged as wedding here.