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The other day I got two packages from Bed, Bath and Beyond, all registry gifts. The UPS guy, who had been here a long time, remarked, “Another one?” To which I replied, “Well, I’m getting married in a month, so there will be more.” Grin. To which he said, “Don’t do it!” and left.
Today we got another package, and he said nothing to me. Not a word. When I thanked him, he grunted. It’s happened: I’ve got married woman stink. I smell unavailable. And yes, while I AM unavailable (and have been for 4 years), the UPS guy gave me my weekly, “wooo, I must look cute today!” feelings. And yes again, it is very nice of him to respect me and my marriage by grunting, but at least say “You’re welcome!”.
This weekend comes the dreaded “Meet and Greet”. Our parents have met once, at my brother’s U.S. wedding reception, but the siblings have never met my parents or any other member of my family - not counting one run-in at Rocky Cola Cafe.
For some weird reason, I’m nervous. Although my family isn’t made up of circus folk, and we try not to actively embarrass ourselves in public, I still worry that the families won’t get along. More than that, I worry that people won’t have anyone to talk to. For instance, my cousin Ashley is coming, she’s going to be 20 this year. That’s an odd age around us semi-grownups and actual grownups. There won’t be anyone in her age group to hang out with, and I fear her being left-out. Kind of in the same vein, Ashley’s sister Christina is 12 years old, right smack in the middle of the 4/6 year olds and her older sister. There will be no one in HER age group, either. Should I try to stick with them through the day, or just let everyone fend for themselves?
After a few weeks of debating about the ceremony program, we’ve decided to go the easy route: making it a scroll. I’d love to have a nice booklet, or a pretty fan type of thing, but I am not handy with crafts. My family really isn’t very crafty, either. 
I figured, even I could put make up something to print on a sheet of vellum, or some other paper.
I have a few more days until I need to start working on the program; we must meet with the music coordinator on Thursday to know which music we want. One huge hurdle is knowing what actually goes in the program. We’re having a Catholic ceremony, but without the mass and communion. This isn’t common, I’ve heard. What truly kicked me in the face was the realization that our 9:30am ceremony didn’t need to be that early. Why not? Because we never thought about the lack of readings and songs due to the no mass/communion thing. Crap. Of course, we thought of this AFTER the invites went out.
I’d like to apologize for my lack of posts lately. Thankfully, you have a horde of new and old bees to keep you entertained! Although I am not wanting to make excuses for my MIA-ness (I’ll MAKE it a word), I do have some… “reasons why I haven’t blogged”:
1.) We are about 33 days away from the wedding, and I’m just realizing some things need to be taken care. So I should ask my hair lady to come to me, instead of ME to her? What a novel idea.
2.) Despite our recent luck with gifts toward our wedding (and less-than-expected quotes), we are still lacking sorely for cash. We have everything planned down to the penny, and we’re still $500.00 (at LEAST) off from being able to pay for things. We’ve done all we can to make things affordable, we’re taking every spare job we can, and dropping things that don’t have to be done, but we’re still hurting. 
This makes me very sad, and is making the last couple of weeks very very hard to enjoy. It’s kind of hard to look forward to something if you are constantly worried if you’ll actually be able to pay for it.
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I’ve been reminding (ahem, nagging) Mr. Kiwi to get his suit. With 36 days to go, we kind of need to get going on that. I wasn’t worried about my dad’s suit- he’s pretty easy to size off the rack. Mr. Kiwi, on the other hand, is a XXXL size, and about 6’2″, with thighs (muscular) the size of hams. I call them his “foghorn leghorns”, in reference to the Looney Toons character.
Okay readers, I had my fitting and I didn’t take pictures. 
Please don’t hate me- I have a good excuse! I’m terrified of my alterations lady. She’s very no-nonsense about things, and says very little, all of her correspondence regarding my fittings go through my FMIL before they get to me… so when it’s time to do it, I find out the day before and show up. While this does nothing for scheduling my evenings, I’m usually in and out within a half an hour.
Slightly different from the last fitting, this time the sides were already undone, and ready to be fit to my body. The last time I put the dress on, she sighed and said, “There is so much I have to do before we even try to fit it.” As I pulled the dress on this time, I could hear beads falling to the floor! My poor beads! Each one probably cost me like, a dollar to have sewn on that dress (damn you, shop markup!)! There was such a rainfall of beads that even Theresa (the seamstress) remarked about it.
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Today I’m wearing underpants that reach an inch over my bellybutton and an inch below the ’cheeks. No, I have not retired to Florida with the wedding fund- I’ve got my first real fitting after work today! As I mentioned before, my dress was very large in the boob area. So my seamstress was going to have to rip the sides asunder and fit it to me when I go in next. This was about a month ago, and she just started tearing apart the sides yesterday. Yeaaah.
Anyway, I’m in the office now, wearing my mega-panties and breaking in my shoes. I love my shoes. Mr. Kiwi told me to wear something for my fitting similar to what I’ll wear for the wedding. When I put on my long panties, he said, “oh, is that what you’re wearing the day of?” To which I responded, “No! (read: maybe I am, got a problem with that?!) Why am I listening to him anyway?
So, here’s my pants. They’re actually pink, which I think makes them that much cuter!
I’ve just realized I haven’t bought a crinoline yet. I should probably get to that, at some point.
Oh my fur and whiskers! Mr. Kiwi and I have decided on something musically for the wedding! Well, kind of. 
We have two songs chosen for our “final dance” song.
One of our songs is “Into the Mystic”- the version by Van Morrison. I’ve always loved this song, it’s great to slow dance to, and just so romantic. It’s been featured in many movies, one of which was “9 Months” in one of the sweetest moments. I’d love to dance to this song, with the words, “As we sail into the mystic”, the last words we hear as we depart.
Lyrics below:
We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when the fog horn blows I want to hear it
I don’t have to fear it
This morning, my friend Tricia reminded me about something that has always been in the back of my mind. She had gone to a psychic this past weekend and was told some good things. This brought back memories of my own trips to various psychics, palm readers, and tarot card readers.
Living in Los Angeles, the odds of finding one of those “mystics” are high. Heck, head on down to Venice Beach and you’ll find a plethora. A few years back, after breaking up with Mr. Kiwi, I had been dating this guy for a year or two. Longing to be in love, I considered myself “fallen”, and went to a palm reader to tell me our future. Apparently, I was the only person to not see how badly he treated me. Isn’t that always how it is? The palm reader told me there were two marriages ahead of me. One while I was young, a relationship that would soon dissolve thereafter. And another one after I had “loved and lost”. The reason for these two marriages, she said, would be because I needed to be treated right. If I didn’t fix myself, I was in for a lot of heartbreak, one being that dissolved marriage. Cripes! 
40 days until the wedding, and my dad’s suit has been purchased! I’ve been reminding him of it for the past few weeks, since I know we both have a tendency to procrastinate. At first, my dad toyed with the idea of renting a suit, but when he found out that it can be up to $200.00 to rent something other people have had their junk in, he realized it made more sense to just buy a suit. Since this was most likely going to be a one or two-use suit (Dad doesn’t dress up), we didn’t want to spend the big bucks.
This takes us to Roger Stuart in downtown Los Angeles- the fashion district! My dad had heard about Roger Stuart on the radio, famous for their 180 thread count suits- available in sizes 35 XS to 56 XL. After paying eight dollars to park in the lot next door (when did downtown LA become such a rip-off when it comes to parking?!), we walked in to have my dad’s size immediately assessed. We told our helper, “We need a black suit for a wedding.” Well, he took us to the section that was Dad’s size, and pulled out a couple different suits. This man had a gift. Can you tell I forgot his name?
(where we were, I stood by that wooden table)
Mr. Kiwi and I like to make things fun- which is why we have a boardgame collection to rival any toy store! Since we’re such a jokey couple, we’ve been trying to come up with witty signs to get people to sign our (less than fun and original) guestbook.
Unfortunately, while the regular “Guestbook” sign is classic, it’s also kind of stating the obvious. There is a small white book that is covered with seed pearls and lace (have I mentioned the book was a gift?), what else could it be?
I was thinking something like this:
* Please sign our guestbook below, we really need the validation.
* Thank you for coming! Please sign our guestbook below, and don’t steal the silverware.
* Awww, you came! Sign the book below so we’ll have proof!
The Bombay Company’s leaf serving set has long been a sought-after item for fall brides. Why? It looks like leaves. Which is kind of one of the few things associated with Fall, right? Lucky us, the serving set is now in stock and on sale at Bombay Company, during their 72 hour sale. Instead of paying $39.00 for something you may not use in the future, now you can pay $23.40 on something you won’t use.
It is very cute, though. And it’s almost $16.00 off!! Yes, I know I said I wasn’t going to buy into getting a cake server. And I probably won’t. But it’s on SALE!
No, Miss Kiwi. The hotel’s servers are just fine. You don’t need these. Yes, you WANT them, but you don’t NEED them. Anyone else want them?
Recently my boss asked me if I wanted her to get the limo for us, or if I wanted to do it myself and give her the bill. Well, while I do love not having to do anything, I also love having the control of our wedding day transportation. She said to think it over and get back to her, but if we wanted her to do the booking, I had to send her all the information: times, color, type, passengers. Ugh.
Technically, I guess I should have thought about that initially anyway, right? The weird thing is, will it feel less like a gift if I take care of the booking and she just pays the bill? It’s kind of funny, like ordering my own birthday present. Despite that, I get full control! White limo, black limo, Chrysler 300 stretch? Sweeeeeet.
Now I suppose I should finalize the details. I don’t know what time we need to show up for the ceremony (the Church Lady is terrible at communication!), but I do know we won’t need it past 11! I was thinking I wanted a black car, it seems so nice! Mr. Kiwi, however, has different plans. He wants white, and since he’s never been in a limo before- he’ll get white.
Now, Los Angeles ladies, any recommendations for transportation companies?
You guys have heard of Tears of Joy packets, right? It’s the tissue that you package in a cute way for guests to use during your romantic and life-melding ceremony. Well, have I got news for you: make way for this year’s Tears of Joy packs!
It’s the Box O’ Sobs of Ecstaticness! I am aware that’s not a word. But it spells B.O.S.E, and I like it. Anyway, while I was at CVS (yes, the second time in two days), I saw these CVS brand tissues, a must-have for fall season brides. 
Even though I long ago tossed the idea of a guest basket in the restrooms, I totally want to put these tissue boxes in the bathroom.
Mr. Kiwi thinks I’m losing it because I want to put these in the bathrooms at the reception. Would it look crazy?
Someone get me away from CVS. Lately they’ve had their Fall sale going on, and I bought a ton of crap.
For $1.99 each, I got a few votive candle holders and some tealight holders.
Many apologies for the crappy picture.
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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