Weddingbee Blog

I am so burned out with wedding planning. Part of it stems from my frustration with planning some events at work, and that has trickled into my personal life. It just seems like I am ostriching myself right now — sticking my head into the sand and ignoring the wedding work to be done. My brain is in crisis lockdown mode. I do have some big things left to do:

1. Address invitation envelopes and mail them out
2. Finalize cake details
3. Create and print menus
4. Finish creating and printing programs
5. Dress fittings
6. Buy a veil

OK, now that I actually write it down, it’s not *that* bad…but I still feel like I should be doing something and right now, I am doing nada. I guess this is that infamous wedding lull.

Has anyone just completely disconnected from the wedding process? How do you get back that enthusiasm and zest for planning?

Bitter, party of one…that’s me!

I just went to the post office yesterday to weigh a sample invitation. I also wanted to see the new and exciting array of stamps they have for the increased postage rate. We are going to be mailing our invites in about a week and a half or so, and silly me…I actually care about stuff like stamps.

The stamps out now are, in a word, fugly.

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Checking back in here. I’ve been a very bad bee…though in my defense, I’ve been extremely busy with work. I’m heading into my prime busy season — the last 5 weeks of school. We just started Senior Week here, which is basically a nice way to wrangle the seniors while the rest of the school is in testing, and we are coming up on prom in a couple of weeks. As senior class advisor, this is a bittersweet time.

Nonetheless, wayyyyyyyyyyy back in the day, I posted about starting my diet and fitness plan and I’ve been posting updates about monthly. I am now ready to post yet another update. Since about January 8, I have lost 29 lbs. It has definitely been a long, hard road and I have wanted to quit sometimes. I kept going because…well…I want/need to fit into my dress! The depressing part has been that I haven’t really noticed a big difference in myself. I mean, I’ve seen it in the measuring tape somewhat, but not visually and I don’t think my clothes fit any differently.

For kicks today, I tried on a pair of jeans I bought online before I went on my winter holiday to NYC. The jeans were too tight for me to wear (especially after the trip when we ate all that yummy food). They fit perfectly today. It felt like such a great victory.

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Growing up, my parents always made us donate our old clothes. Part of it was that they were sick of seeing all our clothes strewn about our room The other part was that Mother-of-Pearl has always believed in helping out those who are in need. I still have a healthy sense of altruism, I suppose, although my giving is not quite as frequent (or organized) as it was with MoP. My desire to give back has, in part, influenced my career decisions, having worked for the past couple of years at an underperforming high school.

As one of the senior class advisors this year (yeah, because I have nothing else do to in my spare time ), I have seen how fortunate I was to be able to attend school functions with little thought of how they would be paid for. In focusing on prom planning right now, I have had to face the sad reality that some kids will not be attending prom because they cannot afford it. We were extremely fortunate to link up with an organization called Planet Hope, an aid organization that does, in part, help fund underprivileged kids to go to prom. They not only donate dresses, but also pay for prom tickets for kids, making other costs negligible or, at the least, not as burdensome.

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I am sitting with tears in my eyes now…but in a good way.

I have been absolutely stressed out lately. Last night was the first time in more than 2 weeks that I’ve gotten a full night’s sleep (more than 5.5 hours) because I’ve been incredibly busy with work and wedding stuff. I was frustrated with Mr. Pearl because he hasn’t been following through with his wedding obligations in a timely fashion. Add an extra helping of family drama on top of that and I was prime for a crying spell and vent session this afternoon.

After I finish venting to Mr. Pearl on G-Talk, he IM’s me back the following

Miss Pearl… from the first weekend that we spent together in Las Vegas to last night after I spent an hour at Blockbuster and Hollywood Video looking for “Platoon” [wanted it to have some visuals about the Vietnam War for my students today]…. I have loved you… I have always loved you with all my heart. I will always love you with all my heart because, at this point, you are part of my heart and my soul. I couldn’t imagine not waking up next to you. I couldn’t imagine not seeing your little girl smile when I walk through the front door. I couldn’t imagine going to bed without you saying “Cuddle me.” I couldn’t imagine raising a family with anyone else. I couldn’t fathom growing old with anyone but you. I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else to be the last face that I see before I die. I love you

Dammit, he just made it so hard for me to be mad at him!

First, let me say that I love the feature that Mrs. Bee installed on Weddingbee where you can mouse over a bee’s icon and see a quick synopsis about them, their wedding, etc. It really helps put a frame of reference on their posts and it’s nice to put a face to the blogger name. Through the course of looking at the bios of the different bees from time to time, I’ve noticed that I am quite exceptional in one way.

My fiance is older than me.

Now, I don’t mean by a month, or a year, or even 5 years. The day after our wedding day will be Mr. Pearl’s 38th birthday, which means he is approximately 11 years and 7.5 months older.

I used to have all these highly ridiculous rules about who I would and would not date, based upon what I thought would be “compatibility” — i.e. he wouldn’t drive a truck, he wouldn’t be more than four years older than me, he would share my political affiliation, etc. Now, of course I also had all the other normal stuff: funny, articulate, intelligent, well-read, interesting, sarcastic, loving, generous, and all the rest. Meeting Mr. Pearl kind of blew the mold with regard to my weirdo criteria. Not only is he much older, but he drives a truck and is more conservative than I. Read more…

In the course of planning a wedding, I’m sure many people have gotten into minor tiffs with your significant other. Wedding planning can be a stressful event. Now, not to be morbid, but what happens after the wedding? Have you come up with a plan in the event of emergency or possible illness or death? Both Mr. Pearl and I know we need to do something about it because of his previous health issues I’ve blogged about before, but it’s a touchy subject for that same reason.

The issue came back into the forefront for us recently when I happened upon a blog of a woman who was married in August 2004. One month later, her newly minted DH was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Sadly, her husband passed away on April 11. I didn’t find her blog until around that time, so I went on to read her back story through archived postings. The incredible grace, courage, and strength she writes with in talking about her husband and their journey together is inspirational. Her problems during his sickness and now, after his passing, are also a lesson about the things that we should all be prepared for just in case of the worst happening. I highly encourage others to read her story, but also be prepared when you do so — it will almost definitely make you cry.

Hug the one you love and treasure the moments together.

Best wishes to her, their families, and their children together. May her husband rest in peace.

Just a quick tip –

For those of you in California (especially the Los Angeles area), there are two resources you should be aware of when planning your weddings. They were absolutely invaluable to me when planning, and I know that they’ve been helpful to lots of other ladies.

1. Here Comes the Guide

For anyone who has been to Borders, I’m sure you’ve seen this giant guide laying around the wedding planning section. Save your money for something else you’d enjoy better because this resource is available for FREE online. Plus, when you use their site online, you can find locations by search criteria (metropolitan area, catering preferences, capacity, etc.).

They’ve expanded the guide to also include a search for services (coordinators, florists, etc).

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When we started our search for a reception venue, our main requirement was that it needed to be located near a Greek Orthodox church so we could have our ceremony there. Other than that, we were pretty wide open. I researched venues from Los Angeles to San Diego in search of the perfect spot.The biggest lifesaver I had when comparing costs was keeping an Excel book with worksheets for all the different venues. This allowed me to easily make cost comparisons by venue really easily. All of the venues we seriously considered had a total estimated reception cost of $10-$20K (including liquor).

Here’s a sampling of some of the venues that we looked at –

Los Angeles:

Ritz Carlton (Pasadena): This is the venue we ended up going with, in large part due to the beautiful decor of the room and the proximity to Mr. Pearl’s hometown. We expected sticker shock, but were pleasantly surprised by the cost, which was comparable to many other Los Angeles area venues. They are now at a $16K minimum for Saturday evenings, prior to tax and service charge. Valet parking is mandatory, as the surrounding neighborhoods are permit parking only (and no self parking). For guests, it is $12; for overnight guests, $25. The biggest drawback to the venue is the gigantic service charge, a whopping 21.5%.

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On Thursday, we had our food tasting at the Ritz Carlton. Food was/is a really important consideration for our wedding — partly because we’re foodies and partly because it’s a major thing that a lot of people notice about your wedding. The hotel used to offer a tasting of all aspects of the dinner menu, excluding hors d’oeuvres and liquor. We did a tasting there last February about a month prior to their rule change…lucky us!

They changed their menus back in June, which meant that we needed to do another tasting of main entrees. Not-so-lucky for me (and you, my faithful readers), I forgot my camera, so there are no pics of the yumminess that sat before us. Also not-so-lucky for me is that I was suffering from what I thought was a pretty bad cold (ended up being bronchitis…yuck), so it dulled my sense of taste a bit.

We had already decided that we were going to have filet mignon as one of the menu options for sure. I am pretty predictable in my eating habits and my favorite out-to-dinner meal is filet. I guess it’s predictable that we’d have it at our wedding. We also tried two different types of fish and one chicken dish. In the end, we decided on the filet, one of the fish dishes, and a vegetarian dinner. Now our menu is as follows:

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Most people love Disneyland — the food, the rides, the souvenirs… did I mention the food? I loved Disneyland as a kid. My family would take one trip a year down to Southern California to visit and go to Disneyland. We had a whole routine down pat, complete with order of rides, when we’d go back to the hotel, and then our late night return to the park.

Since I moved to Los Angeles about eight years ago, I’ve only been to the park three times… and all three times were when I had family members come from out of town. Some of the Disney magic wore off on me over time, I suppose.

But I just got a bunch of love for Disney.

Disneyland will now be offering their Fairytale Wedding package for same-sex couples. This is a huge deal in getting a family-oriented conglomerate on board with supporting same sex couples’ rights (as many companies use “family oriented” to mean “no gays”)!!

So now instead of just seeing this:

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1. I was on Teen Jeopardy when I was in high school. Yes, the real one on TV. No, I didn’t win… but I came close (2nd place). I used to get fan mail from all over the country from this… people have a strange love for Jeopardy. And when I went to college orientation that summer, some kid swore he knew me (we’d never met), then once we got on the elevator, he goes “YOU WERE ON TEEN JEOPARDY!!!” loud enough for everyone to hear. Fun times.

2. I can raise one eyebrow, like The Rock. I read about it when I was a kid and thought it would be a neat trick. Sooooo… I trained myself to do it. I’d sit in front of the mirror and raise my eyebrows while holding one down. Kinda weird in theory, but it worked.

3. I’ve read Gone With the Wind (and its sequel Scarlett) more than 30 times. It’s my favorite story.

4. I was my high school’s mascot. We were the Vikings. I’ve never seen a black Viking before… but it was cool nonetheless.

5. I have a freakish aversion to people touching my back or neck. It really makes me freak out a little bit.

6. I’m multiracial, with my mom descending from various European ethnic groups and part Puerto Rican. My dad’s side is black and Native American (they thought). I just found out last weekend that we’re not part Native American, we’re part Chinese.

I got an email from our invitation designer Tara from Ephemera Letterpress with the final drafts of our wedding invitations.

*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* (that’s my bridal squeal). They are gorgeous! Mr. Pearl and I looked at the final draft and were ready to send the final approval when we both stopped short. The RSVP address. It’s our current address…but we’re moving at the end of July when our lease is up (and the RSVP date is after that time).

In the words of Homer Simpson, “DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

When you give your RSVP address, be sure to think about future events (like if you plan to move). That could have caused a lot of unnecessary heartache!

Anyone else a Project Runway fan? One reason I love the show is because Tim Gunn is freakin’ hilarious (the “Where’s Aaaaaaaaaaaandrae” episode with Santino will forever live in my mind). But, I also love to see all the gorgeous little creations the designers come up with. I’d like to fancy myself a nouveau-style Martha Stewart, even though I am not crafty. Nor can I sew. So I’m basically Martha Stewart on Opposite Day. But I love the fabrics the designers on PR use for their clothing. Mood basically looks like clothing and fabric porn — luxurious slinky silks, soft gauzes, and everything in between.

Thus, I had quite the reaction when, driving home recently, I saw a new sign for Mood Designer Fabrics. Jigga wha?! I thought Mood was only in New York City? I stopped in the shopping center and sure enough, this is the same store branching out to Los Angeles. They are still currently stocking their shelves, but I have seen some gorgeous fabrics in there thus far. They are in the process of stocking all their tulle and lace and have a limited amount of trims available for those interested in possibly making their own veils.

Mood Designer Fabrics
6151 W. Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90035
Hours: M-F 9-7, Sat 10-4
Closed Sun

Our mockup is here…woohoooooooooooooo!!!

On the recommendation of frequent Weddingbee poster wsukarebear, I contacted Tara from Ephemera Press after my previous letterpress invitation plans fell through. Tara is based out of the Seattle area, so our work was done through mail and email. Her samples were really cute and she really seemed excited about working with my vision/theme, not to mention her pricing was reasonable…at least, as reasonable as letterpress can be!

The “theme” info was: chocolate brown and blush, ostrich plumes, 1920s elegance.

Tara sent me an email several days ago with mock-ups of our invitation. I LOOOOVE them and am trying to decide between the following designs (or, if needed, combining elements of each of the designs to produce a great vision):

1.

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