It’s difficult to include everyone important in the wedding process, especially when most of our families reside half way across the country. We’re trying as hard as we can to make the wedding a reflection of not only ourselves, but everyone involved.
Our winery reception site lists five wines (3 reds, 2 whites) that we must choose from for our reception. So we hauled all five to our most recent trip to Minnesota to have Mr. Penguin’s family help us choose our wedding wines. We had to choose from a Sav Blanc or Semillion for our whites, or 2 Zins and a Bella Rosso for the reds.
Cake was something I REFUSED to go over budget on. If I couldn’t get it for under $500, we were going to get a big old Costco sheet cake. Okay not really, but our local supermarket Raley’s actually had a nice little selection of simple cakes that would really just “do the job.” And I was fine with that, after all, I’d already blown the budget on venue and photography, so I really had to stick to budget on elements that were less important to me.
Raley’s has got some great simple cakes for around $350 that serve 100-140, but they don’t deliver, and I just didn’t feel like dealing with (or putting someone in charge of) one more detail like that. I had set my budget at $500, so I thought I might as well give my venue’s recommended baker, Ingrid Fraser of Elegant Cakes (Amador City, CA) a try.
I knew for budget’s sake we had to go SIMPLE. But I’m never one for plain, so I scoured the web and found some cakes on theknot.com that would suffice:

Only now that Mr. Penguin and I are engaged do I realize what a bummer it was that a few people in our lives, especially my parents, didn’t take our relationship REALLY seriously before we officially got engaged. Despite the fact that we had been dating for 6 years, had lived together for 2, and had co-signed on a home, they still treated me like a “me” and not a “we.” Although we weren’t officially engaged, Mr. Penguin and I had settled into a married-ish relationship a couple years before we made it official.
My parents really love Mr. Penguin, after all he is a great guy. Before we got engaged, Mama and Papa Penguin and I would often discuss my future. They never really mentioned his presence in it, and I was too hesitant to outright discuss the fact that he would be in my life 10 years from now. We often would discuss the future of my business. In my heart, I knew that if Mr. Penguin wanted to start his own private practice in another part of the country, I would be more than happy to follow. And to make sure that we had an income, I would drop my own business to get a steady job with a steady cash flow, just so we could be sure that we could pay our bills while he got off of the ground. BUT, there was NO WAY I would have ever been able to say this to my parents, pre-engagement. Even though he was my long-term boyfriend, even the MENTION of me making a career sacrifice for someone other than myself was a little upsetting for Papa Penguin.
A fellow bride who I’ve been in close contact with since getting engaged sent me this E-mail a few months ago:
“I found some invites that I really like from Jean M. They are way over what I wanted to spend but I feel like I should do what I like instead of settling for cheap. My mom offered to pay for the invites but I just feel like I have more freedom to pick them out if I foot the bill. I don’t think my mom would go for $321 invites. Now that I type that number, I don’t know if I want to spend that much either.”
Here’s what she wanted:
“Kim” By Jean M - 100 Invitations $321, 100 Response Cards and Envelopes $66. Total: $387
Want to create your own monogram but don’t know how to go about it? Here’s a simple (and free!) way to create a monogram using Microsoft Word and MS Paint:
Step 1: Open MS Word and navigate to “Insert“, then from the drop down menu, choose “Textbox”
After 3 days of intense slaving, I finally finished my DIY aisle runner. Here’s the step by step and what I used to create this 55 foot masterpiece:

Yep. Took me an hour to find it. I don’t know if it was luck, fate, or the fact that I was anticipating spending more money on a dress than “THE ONE” actually cost, but I tried on four wedding dresses before handing over the debit card and owning my very first wedding dress.
Did I say first? I meant only!
End of the road for you, Mr Penguin, no peeky-peeky…
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I did it.
I bought my dress.
I recently dined with the always fabulous Mrs. Lemon, who gave me a big “No Freakin’ Way” face when I told her that I wouldn’t be making my first visit to a bridal salon until 7 months before my wedding. She informed me that I better be SURE of what I was looking for, because if I didn’t find it that day, I’d better find it very soon after that or I might be wearing my sorority Presents dress for my wedding.
Hmm. A little short for a formal wedding. And strike me dead with joy if I could actually fit into any clothes I wore in 2000.
Mr. Penguin overestimated the chubbiness of my fingers. So they’re a little on the plump side, but my sausages are still smaller than he anticipated. We recently popped in a jewelry store just to check out our wedding ring options, and I had them take my ring size…turns out I’m almost a whole size smaller than my engagement ring.
For some reason I’m really reluctant to resize my ring. What if I move to more humid climates? What if I gain weight? The ring is ridiculously big in dry climates, but fits a little better when there’s significant moisture in the air.
For now, I hate how the solitaire never sits up straight. Plus, now that the cold dry weather is rolling in, my fingers are shrinking even more…its getting to the point where I sometimes wear my ring on my middle finger or thumb, especially when I’m working.
I could wear a Ring Snuggies,

Mr. Penguin and I originally wanted to get married in San Francisco. We are both suburban transplants who enjoy the hustle and bustle of the Bay (or “the Yay! ” as I call it). Here is some info on our top venue contender in San Francisco, Hotel Vitale.