Weddingbee Blog

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With 11 days to go, we are having our first major snafu. I can’t get into any of the details right now but there is a distinct possibility that Mr. Pinot Noir won’t be able to wear a kilt after all. The vendor has completely messed up the order (again) and they don’t expect the kilts to arrive from the weaver until Friday or Saturday. Then they have to ship them to us—which only leaves three days before we head to California. We were supposed to get them in the middle of August, but they completely messed up the colors on the first weave (imagine neon kilts!). Needless to say, they have not inspired much confidence in their ability to follow through. As you can imagine, Mr. PN is so angry, that he has steam coming out of his ears. There is nothing we can do at this point except wait. I feel so helpless—Mr. PN was so excited to wear his family kilt and now there is a very real possibility that it isn’t going to happen. I’ve offered to take him out for dinner and drinks to help distract him but I doubt it will help too much. To be continued…

Did you have any major wedding details or vendors flake out on the last minute? How did you cope?

Having a destination wedding isn’t exactly eco-friendly. The majority of our guests have to fly to San Francisco and will stay in a hotel for several nights. I have blogged before about using carbon credits as a way to offset your wedding travel and celebration.

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In addition to carbon credits, there are many other ways to “green” your transportation.

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Many people ask me what the hardest part of planning a destination wedding is. They guess it is choosing venues, restaurants or table linens. The fact is, the hardest part about planning a destination wedding is figuring out how to get everything to the destination! Every planning and decor decision makes me think about how we will get the item to the other side of the country. Can we ship it? Pack it in our checked baggage? Do we have to carry it on the plane with us? Our luggage will include all our wedding week clothing, rings, parent/wedding party gifts, my dress, Mr. PN’s kilt, honeymoon clothes, etc., so we decided it would be best to send along some items in advance.

Our amazing florist graciously accepted to receive a few packages and take them to our venue on the morning of the wedding. So, we have spent the last couple weeks finishing our wedding programs, table names, escort cards, menu cards, and cake table photos.
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Mr. PN and I don’t have “a song” and there is no particular song that we relate too (at least not something appropriate for a first wedding dance). I listened to dozens of songs trying to put together a list of possible choices. After narrowing it down to about six songs, I presented the list to Mr. PN, and he made the final decision. We will be dancing for the first time as husband and wife to Songbird by Eva Cassidy. I had never heard this song before searching for wedding dance songs. I think the song is so beautiful and it gives me goose bumps whenever I hear it!

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FMIL Pinot has graciously offered to host a rehearsal/welcome dinner on Friday evening in San Francisco. There won’t be an actual wedding rehearsal, since we are staying in San Francisco and the wedding (and officiant) is up in Napa Valley.

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After much deliberation and research, we booked the Waterfront Restaurant on Pier 7 of the San Francisco Bay. Mr. PN and I took a trip to California in May to meet with vendors and confirm logistics. Our first stop was for lunch at Waterfront Restaurant. The 50% deposit had already been paid, so we were pretty happy to discover that the food and the view did not disappoint!

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I love flowers. My grandparents owned and operated their own small flower shop in Wisconsin. My aunt and uncle took over the shop when my grandparents retired, but I spent many visits running through the greenhouse or watching my aunt and uncle assemble beautiful centerpieces. The smell of fresh flowers always gives me warm fuzzies and brings back great memories.

My mom and grandma in front of the flower shop circa 1969.

There are many ways to make your flowers and centerpieces eco-friendly.

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Mr. PN and I ranked food near the top of our wedding priorities and lucky for us, Auburge du Soleil is a five star restaurant with the best food in the Napa Valley. The menu changes with the seasons, so we didn’t get our hands on the fall menu until the middle of August, which made picking the menu one of our last big decisions.

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Before I get to the menu for our lunch reception, I must give you some background on our eating habits. I am a (pesca-)vegetarian, meaning I eat dairy, eggs, and fish but no poultry or red meat. I have been a pescatarian for about six years now and as long as Mr. PN and I have been together. Most people assume that I am a pescatarian for health reasons or for animal rights, but I am actually a pescatarian for environmental reasons.
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Mr. PN has been pretty involved in the wedding planning from the very start. He has played an active role in every major decision, and most of the minor ones. He helped pick the venue, the invitations, and the music. Some things he doesn’t care about much at all, like what color the OOT bags are, and some things he cares about a lot, like having a sweetheart table. I’m embarrassed to admit that on occasion he was more involved than I wanted him to be, such as when he vetoed my idea to exit the reception in a Toyota Prius. My selfish mind responded with, “Why can’t he be like other grooms and just show up?” But then I remembered how thankful I am that he cares about our wedding day and wants it to be reflection of both of us.

While Mr. PN has been involved in all the wedding decisions, I have taken the lead in signing contracts, updating vendors, and sending payments. As the wedding day approaches, my stress levels continue to climb. I fluctuate between being completely calm to freaking out—sometimes several times a day. To make things even more exciting, I also started a new job and I am about 1000% busier than I was before. I love my new job, and I love being busy, but this means that I don’t have time to squeeze any wedding planning into my work day—no research, no emails, no phone calls. During this time, Mr. PN has really stepped up to the plate. In the last few weeks he has happily become the point of contact for many of our vendors and is making phone calls and sending emails. Just yesterday, he called the hotel to straighten out a snafu with our room block, worked with the caterer to choose the wine list, and contacted the rehearsal dinner site to look into modifying our reservation. His help has brought me back to planet Earth, and I’m starting to breathe again!

How involved has your partner been in the planning process? Would you prefer that they were more or less involved?

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With 25 days to go, the last week has brought some major changes to our guest list. We have had seven guests withdraw their affirmative RSVPs and inform us that they will no longer be attending our wedding. For some couples, this might not be a huge number, but this was more than 10% of our guest list. Our official head count, including bride and groom, is now 59. The dismal economy and skyrocketing unemployment numbers have affected many of our guests. When it came time to buy plane tickets, they just couldn’t make the numbers work. It makes us terribly sad that these special friends won’t be with us on our big day. We know they would be there if they could, and we would never ask them to overextend themselves for our wedding, but the last week has been pretty disappointing.

The struggling economy has been an issue for many couples planning weddings, and even vendors are starting to feel it too.
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Like many brides, I will be incorporating something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue into my walk down the aisle. I looked into the history of this famous tradition and this is what I found (courtesy of the Weddingbee Wiki): 

Something old - continuity with the bride’s family and the past
Something new - optimism and hope for the bride’s new life ahead
Something borrowed - an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride
Something blue - Before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns, as evidenced in proverbs like, “Marry in blue, lover be true.”

Something Old
My something old will be my shoes. I searched high and low for a pair of shoes that met my requirements (gold/champagne, low heel, slingback, and under $75). After many hours of shoe shopping, I finally realized that the perfect shoes were in my closet! I had bought them for $15 at Goodwill. They are gold Stuart Weitzmans, and they are the most comfortable dress shoes I have ever owned!
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First I tried to rent my wedding dress, and then I looked for a used wedding dress. I was getting a little discouraged, and I began dreading the dress hunt. I had gone back to Minnesota for Christmas and it was the first time I had seen my family since our engagement. I wanted to have the experience of dress shopping with my mom, so we made an appointment at David’s Bridal for the day after Christmas.

I didn’t expect to find my dress there, but things like that usually happen when we least expect them. I tried on several dresses, and the third dress that I tried on was perfect. It was everything that I had imagined, and it fit me perfectly. I had found my dress—and it was about as un-ecofriendly as you can get. Instead, it was a brand-new, mass produced dress from a chain store. But, I really loved the dress and I didn’t think that I was going to have the patience to keep looking. So we bought it. I had found my dress!

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When it comes to weddings, it seems like the most important expense for almost every bride is the photography. Finding the best photographer within their budget is an essential part of the planning process. I daresay that the photographer was not our “one thing” as it is for many brides. Don’t get me wrong, I love photography - including great wedding photography - but it wasn’t a huge part of our budget, or high on our priority list.

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My bachelorette party was a total blast. Remember how I was a bit worried about bringing all of my friends together?! Well everyone loved each other and we bounded as a group right away. The day started out as my friends began to arrive. My bridesmaid, and co-bachelorette planner, arrived in the early Saturday morning and we spent a few hours catching up and talking weddings (she just got engaged!). Everyone else arrived in the afternoon and we gathered at my apartment to start the festivities (I kicked Mr. out for the weekend).

First up, cupcakes, champagne and gifts! FSIL, and co-bachelorette planner, brought these amazing cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery. What a perfect way to start the afternoon.

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Even though Mr. PN and I are bypassing the traditional wedding cake, we didn’t want to miss out on the cake cutting tradition. While we were in Napa this past spring checking out our wedding vendors, we began thinking about a wedding cake substitute. Our florist recommended a wonderful bakery called Sweetie Pies. Sweetie Pies is a cafe and bakery in downtown Napa. They were founded 10 years ago and are active members of the community. They make lots of beautiful wedding cakes and specialty cakes. In order to stay within budget we will have a simple 6″ lemon cake with citrus butter cream frosting.

The cake will be pretty small, so I purchased a cake plate on eBay. I found this great plate for $10 (including shipping). When it arrived, it was very tarnished and I wondered if it would clean up enough to be presentable.

Before polish

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Mr. Pinot Noir and I will be joining our friends and family for an informal after party gathering somewhere in San Francisco. I originally planned to wear my actual wedding dress for the get together. After all, I will only get to wear it once! But after my fitting I realized that this just isn’t a practical choice. I’ll want something a little more comfortable for the evening festivities.

My criteria for the after party dress included, but did not require, the following:

1. Costs under $100
2. There is some white in the pattern/design
3. Something I can wear it again (I’m all about reuse)
4. Will allow me to sport a regular bra (no spaghetti straps and nothing strapless)

Mr. PN and I took a trip to Macy’s to look for my after party dress. I must admit that Mr. PN is really good at shopping for me. He picks out styles and colors that I wouldn’t typically try, and they usually turn out to be great. I get the most compliments on the outfits that he picks out. Too bad I couldn’t take him wedding dress shopping with me! After scouring the sale racks, we came up with four options.
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