Weddingbee

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(image from Rob Robson)

Thank you so much for your help, Miss Gingerbread.YOU ROCK!

(image source)

How 1950’s can you get? We are SO PUMPED!!

The car’s owner, Rob, is also very excited by the thought of his car being in a 1950’s - style wedding, and told us we could decorate “Walter” however we wanted! Woot! Woot!

What is your wedding transportation?
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For many women, those rights and these freedoms do not come free or easily, but often at a cost.

A few weeks ago, Mr. Shortcake and I were watching Saturday Night Live, hoping that the lovely Amy Adams would bring some comedic crisp to the usually very stale show. In one of her skits, Adams played a marriage counselor determined to psycho-analyze her way into figuring out the dynamics between a newly-married and poorly-matched young couple.

Will Forte and Amy Poehler teamed up to play the young couple, who, like many of us, argued about sex. Unlike most of us however, the two had met on the docks - Forte had “fallen in love” with the Russian “Bogdanna” after seeing the stowaway jumping out of a barge. Poehler as the haggard and underwhelmed Bogdanna spent the skit pleading with Forte to sign her citizenship papers because she had already “give[n] the sex.” Forte, however, was dismissive of Bogdanna’s requests and needs and when discussing the relationship with Adams, continually sugar-coated their relationship with a glaze of lovey-dovey bull sh*t.

For many women, becoming an overseas (or “mail-order”) bride can be an opportunity to escape a life in a developing country that, for whatever reason, is unsatisfying or even oppressing. Marrying into a richer country (like the US, Canada, UK, Australia) is seen as a way to gain job opportunities, to obtain life opportunities that otherwise would not be available in their home countries. If love occurs, good, so much the better.

Defenders of this practice often compare it to other forms of match-making, declaring that choosing cuties from an online catalog is similar to, if not the same as, internet dating sites like eharmony.com, in that the ladies list themselves, advertising their appearance, personalities, interests. Yes, I can see the similarities. But when I look at the ages of these women (often 26 and younger) and at the countries represented by these email-order sites, and think of the standard of living in those countries, I can’t help but be skeptical about these ladies’ motivations. Now, before I continue, let me make this clear, my beef is not with the immigration of these ladies in these marriages - you do what you gotta do - but rather with the men, and their motivation.

They remind me a little too much of the smug Forte.

From www.goodwife.com, one of the leading mail-order bride sites:

“We also have the question of a Western woman vs. a Foreign woman. This is commonly refered to as a Mail Order Bride or MOB….Are there any good women left in the West? Sure there are. Are they easy to find? Not on your life!…We, as men, are more and more wanting to step back from the types of women we meet now. With many women taking on the “me first” feminist agenda and the man continuing to take a back seat to her desire for power and control many men are turned off by this and look back to having a more traditional woman as our partner.



So, what do we as men want in a woman, partner, friend, and wife? Do we want her to “fix us” after we are married? If we were good enough to marry in the first place then what is this bix fixation (pun intended) on fixing us? Do we want her to stop taking care of herself after we are married? (No need to bother looking good now right, I’ve already got him so I can quit trying to look my best and I can gain all the weight I want.) Do we want her to be the boss? Do we want her to put her career first? Do we want to come home to a bag of delivery food? Do we want to change everything about us that made us who we are? Do we want to spend our evenings and weekends taking the latest “relationship test” from some magazine to find out how inadequate we are?”

Wow. So I broke the pencil I was holding while reading that.

It’s chilling enough to read that kind of chauvanistic cr*p, but to then read that “the rates of domestic violence against immigrant women are much higher than those of the U.S. population” - that young women have died at the hands of these “traditionally-minded” men, makes me feel sick to my stomach.

What do you think about mail-order marriages?

Read more:

About mail-order brides and new legislation
Violence against women act
http://www.american.edu/ted/bride.htm
http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/anderson/brides/pg1.html
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1390/context/archive
http://cpcabrisbane.org/Kasama/1997/V11n1/Finland.htm
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On June 20th, Chip Wilson (the founder of lululemon) is hosting the first annual “Chip’s Not Dead Yet Memorial Mile” - a run up one of 10th most upright hills - to benefit the BC Children’s Hospital. Chip will match entry donations, and is offering cash prizes to the winners.

Moreover, if you run in your wedding dress or a bridesmaid’s dress, you can win a trip to the Bahamas! Not too shabby, I must say!

Read more about the run here.
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meet with lighting coordinator, choose lights
meet with floral event designer, see mock ups of centerpieces and bouquet
menu tasting and selection
wine tasting and selection
hand out local wedding invitations
meet dj, give him music list, discuss wants, needs and most-definitely-not-in-your-lifes
meet photographer, give him shoot list, go over past work, decide on timeline
meet baker, have tasting, go over design
hair trial, book and decide on style and timing
makeup trial, book and decide on style and timing
bridal shower # 1
engagement party (finally!)
buy, wrap, and store attendant gifts at parents’ house
visit limo places, decide and book transportation
choose and book tuxes with groomsmen
get and scan baby pictures for blurb guest book
find locations for pictures pre and post ceremony
bring all supplies, attendant gifts, and accessories for the wedding to Vancouver (our suitcases won’t have room for anything but honeymoon clothes, rehearsal dinner clothes/dog stuff, and my wedding dress for our trip in October)AUGHHH!!!

So now I have one month to finalize all my decisions for the wedding - only having one meeting per vendor means that I don’t have time to screw up or be unorganized, and I have to make sure that everything is understood perfectly so that it can be executed perfectly without me and without my input - we’re flying back to Vancouver only days before the wedding!

In addition, I’ve taken on two new jobs (wedding moolah shortage), so if this combination of mucho work plus one-month-to-finish-wedding-planning doesn’t kill me, it will mean that there will be a shortcake shortage around the hive until the end of June.

Be warned though, I’m going to have WAY too many things to talk about in July!

(Like taking furry baby Shortcake (Harvey) to see his nana for the first time, and taking him for his first swim in the ocean! Woot! Woot!)

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Anyone else calligraphing their invitation envelopes/table place settings/menus/everything ? « Hide it

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Exhibit B: I’m the amazonian tan lady (summer in Europe will do that) pursing her lips and formulating her catch-plan.

(HINT: Anybody play basketball? The key to catching a bouquet is the stance you take (wide, planted feet, hands up and open in front of you), and where you position yourself (judge the bride, watch her during the day, see if she would be a lobber, a girly-thrower, a ceiling-hitter, etc). Also, be RUTHLESS. )

ANY-WAY, I’m so not throwing my gorgeous bouquet if my guests are anything like me. Instead, I decided to hit my local dollarama, and grab some fake flowers for a little DIY magic!

::HOW TO MAKE A TOSS BOUQUET FOR SEVEN DOLLARS::

YOU WILL NEED:

• fake flowers (I used pink and yellow tulips, pink carnations, green kermit mums)… look at pictures of bouquets you like, choose the colours, types, and number of stems to coordinate with your vision. TIP: Buy stems with multi-heads, not single flower stems, to maximize your budget.
• sturdy, sticky tape (I used packaging tape, but you can use floral tape, duct tape, hockey tape - scotch tape won’t work)
• ribbons (I used two, one 1 1/2 ” ribbon, and one 1/2″ ribbon in a coordinating but contrasting pattern). I used about four feet for the wrapping and bow of the main ribbon.
• wire cutters (I used jewellery wire cutters, but any will do the trick unless you have mega thick stems)
• scissors
• hot glue gun

This DIY project is REALLY easy, and took me just over two hours. Put on some slow jams, grab a glass of wine/soda/water/whatever, and settle in!

::CARNATIONS/MULTI-PETALLED FLOWERS::

Because these are dollar store flowers, they are naturally very ugly. In order to prettify them, you will need to take them apart, and put them back together.

STEPS:

1. Rip the head of a carnation/or any multi-petalled flower off of its stem. Pluck off its green base (bottom of the flower), put it to the side - you will need it later.
2. Layer the flower petals how you like (I alternated the layers so that the Y shapes overlappped). You can also combine different petals from different flowers to create new types of flowers!.
3. Put a dab of hot glue around the hole in the middle of the petals, glue each layer together.
4. Cut off the green bit that originally went THROUGH your flower (not the original stem), so that it is flat and flush with the green base of the flower.
5. Glue this green base and green bit back to the bottom of the flower. The green bit will allow you to connect the flower head back on to the stem. Do so.
6. Arrange any moveable leaves on the stem to how you want them.
7. To make peonies, combine 2-3 carnations together, wrap with tape.

FINISHED CARNATION (PEONY):

:: TULIP OR STAMEN FLOWERS::

Flowers with these upright petals and stamens are a little bit trickier, but it’s basically the same.

STEPS:

1. Fold back the petals, they are usually glued to plastic bits that hold them upright. Cut off the stamen as well as these plastic supports (unless you want a tulip)
2. Rip the head of a tulip off of its stem. Pluck off its clear base (bottom of the flower), put it to the side - you will need it later.
3. Layer the flower petals how you like (I alternated the layers to that the Y shapes overlappped). You can also combine different petals from different flowers to create new types of flowers!.
4. Put a dab of hot glue around the hole in the middle of the petals, glue each layer together. You can fold petals over each other and glue together to create a “bud” as well!
5. Glue this clear base back onto the bottom of the flower. The clear bit will allow you to connect the flower head back on to the stem. Do so.
6. Arrange any moveable leaves on the stem to how you want them.

FINISHED TULIP/FLUFFY PRETTY FLOWER:

To create the bouquet, place the individual or clustered stems (like the peony we made) together, and use your sticky, sturdy tape to wrap around. Each stem you add, do another layer of tape. This way it’s secure.

When all of your flowers are together, apply some glue to the bottom of the bouquet handle. Place the MIDDLE of your wide ribbon on to it, then wrap the handle with the two sides. If you leave pieces hanging, you can wrap them into a bow. Make sure to apply glue every so often along the handle while you are wrapping, so that the ribbon doesn’t slide. If you are using additional ribbons, wrap them as you please, and glue into place.

::THE FINISHED RESULT::

So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this DIY project - if you are on a budget and are using silk florals, the techniques I have listed here can easily be used for your real bouquets as well!

What do you think? Will my fake bouquet withstand the ravages of a hoard of clutching females?
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TIP: Register at the largest location of your chosen department store - they’ll have the biggest selection of goods to choose from!

To keep things organized, we decided to start from one corner of the Gifts and Registry floor. I had my trusty humungo wedding binder in tow, but quickly gave it to our registry agent to put away - klutzy me + big heavy binder + expensive china = disaster waiting to happen!

But don’t I look official?

“Check!”

Our first item was this lovely hurricane vase/candle holder thingie.

Has anyone else noticed, how when items are cheap, the temptation to register for a lot of them increases? Luckily Mr. Shortcake is not so easily swayed:

ME: “ooooh…look, they’re ONLY $25! Let’s register for…hmmm… eight!”
MR. SHORTCAKE: (shakes head, scans and enters ’2″)

But lest you think that Mr. Shortcake is all prunes and gravity, I offer the following evidence:

The world’s largest usable pepper grinder!

Did anyone else love picking china as much as I did? Of the 3 hours that it took us to register, about two of those hours were spent drooling over dishes.

Me likey Wedgwood.

It took over half an hour, as well as outside assistance, to choose between these two Vera Wang for Wedgwood patterns:

Mr. Shortcake was attracted to Vera’s “platinum lace” on the left. Me, on the other hand, was completely smitten by her “Love Knots” pattern. I was about to do back flips to show my admiration for the set, but then thought twice because I was surrounded by expensiv-o place settings.

In the end, Mr. Shortcake let me choose the love knots pattern, sighing and declaring that he “would grow to like it.”

GROW TO LIKE IT?? HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?

I heart ribbons. This pattern and me were meant to BE!

Our uber-helpful agent, Audrey, helped us put together our “feminine and dainty” formal place setting:

Check out the sweet polka dots on our wine goblets:

(Vera Wang “grosgrain”)

Audrey was also instrumental in putting together our more “masculine” everyday place setting:

You can’t really see the rustic hand-made elegance of Sophie Conran’s Portmeirion porcelain dishes in this picture, but you can see more of them here. They come in AMAZING seafoam green and brown polka-dotted boxes which I will completely keep for organizing craft supplies, and are DISH-WASHABLE! Woot! Woot! Shortie does NOT do hand-washing dishes.

(you can see those sweet boxes in this pic, but ignore those random country plates)

We also registered for furniture after discovering that we had up to a year to purchase the remaining items off of our registry - with a substantial discount.

We aren’t expecting anyone to plunk down several grand and bring, say, a hand-wrapped love seat to the reception, but this way we can actually furnish our home when we move back to Vancouver next year. Right now we’re living with basically nothing in Winnipeg, so as to cut down on cross-country moving costs, so I can only dream and drool of eating at this:

How terrific is this table? It’s high, so my feet dangle (love me some danglin’ feet), has super comfy chairs, seats eight, and has a lazy susan for spinning dips and sauces! Sweet! I think square tables are so much friendlier than long rectangles, too.

It took us quite a while to get our collective butts in gear and go register, but boy-o, was it worth it! Even if we don’t receive everything, having our house and interior design “planned out” mentally was worth the trip!

SHORTIE’S TIPS FOR A HEADACHE FREE REGISTRY:

• Go around your house and see what you need and what you already have. This is a good time to replace your college bath towels with some RL goodness
• Multiply your guest list by 3. This way, there’s tons of stuff for your guests to choose from!
• Bring water and wear comfy shoes.
• Bring a camera. That way, if you forget what you registered for, you can look at your pictures (esp. if your store’s website only shows names of items)
• Don’t be afraid to register for big-ticket items. Many stores offer a discount after the wedding for registry items you still wish to purchase.
• Go with an idea of colour schemes/wood colours you eventually want in your house. This way, your gifts will “go”
• Register for items in different price ranges (student friend, parent’s co-worker, wealthy grandparent)
• Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance!
• If you plan on doing a lot of entertaining in the future, it’s a good idea to register for 12 place settings of your formal china. This, however, does not extend to minimal use or uni-tasker items like gravy boats and soup bowls.
• Don’t be afraid to register for unconventional items. If you already have formal china, go ahead and register for camping equipment, if that’s what you really want and need!
• Give your sweetie lots of hugs and kisses for their patience!

Do you have other tips for bees about to register?
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(”for sale”)

(”magical cupcakes”)

(”tea with Chris”)

(”extra cheesy with salami and mushrooms”)

(”tea and toast“)

(”nostalgia”)

If there is a weddingbee reader out there in South Africa, book Zalita, stat…and tell her I will worship her and her magical frosting geniusness.

FOR-EVER.
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Mrs. Krejs

Miss Woerner

And for your something blue, try:

Ava-aqua

Ava-aqua earrings

Ava earrings - pink and blue

Lucinda Earrings

Mrs. Madison earrings
 
Diana earrings - aqua

…and for an adorable bridesmaid’s gift, how about a monogrammed jewelry bag?

What’s your favorite piece?
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