Weddingbee Blog

When Mr. Tomato and I first discussed what sort of wedding we would like, I confessed my desire for a small (50 ppl) wedding with only our immediate family and closest friends.

“Um,” he said, “But I have 100+ relatives…”

Ah, the art of compromising. I felt like I had to give in, especially since his parents were footing most of the bill and they would be insulted if we didn’t invite everyone. But I really didn’t want a big wedding. So I wondered, how much could I insist on a small guest list without being completely inconsiderate?

It took a lot of arguing before we came up with the brilliant, unoriginal solution: Have a small, intimate ceremony/reception followed by a large reception for his relatives. So that is why we’re having a small wedding in Rutherford, CA on July 1 and a large reception in Southern California on July 4 (ironic that it’s Independence Day when we’re celebrating our Un-Independence) a few days later. It works out really well, because most of his relatives live in SoCal anyway, so now they don’t have to travel very far.

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In the wee hours of this morning, I leaned over to Mr. Tomato and asked, “Guess what day it is today?”

I always enjoy doing this to him. I could tell in his mind he was wondering, “Your birthday? My birthday? Someone’s birthday? Some sort of anniversary?” After a few moments, he sheepishly said he didn’t know.

“It’s June 1!” I said excitedly, “One more month until we get married!!!”

Holy mackeral. (I have no idea where that originally came from but I like the sound of it)

So to celebrate our one-month-before-we-get-married-day, I’d like to share our engagement story with you all! Read more…

I was working on my guestbook last weekend (decided to go with mypublisher) when I had the idea of incorporating quotes throughout the book. After some web searching, here are a few of my favorites:

To Be One With Each Other

What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the
silent unspoken memories?
-George Eliot

The strongest and sweetest songs yet remain to be sung.
- Walt Whitman

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves.
-Victor Hugo

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Among my many confessions in life, I am a self-help book whore. Or should I say “couple-help” book whore. This is not to say Mr. Tomato and I have a troubled relationship, but I never understood why people wait until they are on the brinks of divorce before they evaluate their relationship and communication skills. I think most of us could benefit from a little counseling now and then. I’m a strong believer that even the dumb little fights stem from something bigger that needs to be addressed. The sooner you nip that in the bud, the better.

But I noticed that while the bookstores are filled with dating books and marriage books, there are hardly any that address the engagement period. Some of my single friends don’t quite understand. You’ve already weathered through the dating process; shouldn’t everything else be a breeze?

If you ask me, being engaged is tough! Of course I’m excited to marry the man of my life in a month(!) but trying to balance work, wedding planning, dealing with parents and future in-laws, buying (and selling) a house is stressful. Sometimes I find myself feeling so angry, and I don’t even know why. It’s no wonder couples tend to fight more as the engagement period wears on. Several times this past month, I nearly considered eloping. Unfortunately, I don’t think Mr. Tomato feels the same way and I’m sure it would cause a great uproar from BOTH sides of our families.

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When I first plotted out my wedding budget, I gave myself $200 for hair/makeup and figured that was plenty. After all, the last time I got my hair done was for senior prom (that was seven years ago) and it looked gorgeous for $70. So you can imagine my surprise when the first makeup/hair artist I called gave me a price point of $400. Four hundred buckaroos! I started thinking of all the things I could buy for $400.

I asked recently-wedded friends for help, advice, contacts…and apparently everyone had spent between $300-$600. One friend who did not fall into the range paid $200 for a very unpleasant experience (the stylist didn’t listen to her at all).

I started thinking I’d either have to resort to doing it myself or find a friend. But the truth is, I’ve curled my hair maybe five times in my life, and my daily beauty regimen is lotion and chapstick. And none of the friends I hang out with are the beauty/makeup type either.

Back to the drawing board. I searched the Knot message boards and finally read about Carrie of Makeup By Sisters who better fit my price range and had great reviews. Unfortunately, at the time I contacted her she was only willing to do bridal makeup in East Bay (due to a recent baby, if I remember correctly).

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Mr. Tomato and I will not be having a wedding cake. We’re not having cupcakes either. We’re not having any sort of substitute–simply, we’re just not having a wedding cake.

Shocking, I know. Everyone I mentioned this to has had the same reaction: “What?! How can you NOT having a wedding cake?!”

In my mind, the wedding cake has always been little more than background eye candy. Call me a food snob, but honestly, in all the weddings I have attended so far I’ve only liked how a few of the cakes tasted. None of them were memorable. And it’s not because the bakers aren’t talented. Since wedding cakes are so labor-intensive and have to be made a few days beforehand, most times it just doesn’t taste very fresh. And Mr. Tomato doesn’t really like cake, period. So why spend a few hundred dollars on something neither of us will enjoy, and most of the guests will probably forget? I suppose we might miss out on the cake-cutting photograph, but that doesn’t bother us.

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I never considered practicing my wedding kiss beforehand (I thought everyone just “went with the flow”) but when a friend told me SHE was practicing, I began to think otherwise. After all, it could cause for a very awkward moment. I just know that when the pastor says, “You may now kiss the bride,” I’m going to think, Ohmigosh, who’s head tilts which side? Where do my hands/arms go? Where are HIS hands/arms going to go? How long should it be? Do people use tongue?

So I decided to find some pictures on the web that may inspire your own wedding kiss…

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I’ve been searching for eyelets to use with my wedding program fans (I decided to take the DIY route) and came across these really cute ones. Who would have thought eBay would have a wider range of eyelet selections than my local Michael’s?!

sun

angelfish

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When it came time to hiring vendors, the one person I knew I really wanted was florist Nicole Ha. The photos on her site don’t do her work justice. I attended a friend’s wedding last October and everything–from the table centerpieces to the ceremonial floral wreath–was exquisite. The best part is she works with all budgets, and really gives 110%. When someone truly loves what they do, it shows in their work without any words.

Sadly, she was booked for all the available wedding dates that Mr. Tomato and I had in mind (she was so nice and apologetic about it too). So after booking our venue, I searched the internet for other NorCal options.

I start off every project with a budget in mind, and I wanted to spend somewhere between $1000-$1500 on the following flower arrangements:

-two large, ceremony altar pieces
-20′ long floral garland (for the balcony of our venue)
-bridal bouquet
-three bridesmaids bouquets
-two corsages
-six boutonnieres
-a lush petal aisle
-rose petals for the guestbook table

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That was the beginning of an e-mail I received today from my engagement session photographer, Junshien. I love how he’s even more excited than we are to show off our final photographs. But before you view the slideshow, you’ll have to read the story of how it all happened in the first place.

I’m always amazed at how fate occasionally takes a hand in our lives. A few months before Mr. Tomato popped the question, I ran into an old high school classmate at a wedding I was coordinating. I remembered him as a very intellectual sort of guy who had a promising career in the computer world, so I was fairly surprised when we chatted and he revealed he was working in the wedding photography industry under the guidance of his mentor, the great Scott Robert (who I ended up booking for my wedding).

Though Junshien began his debut in the industry little more than a year ago, his growth has been phenomenal. Mr. Tomato and I had him as our engagement session photographer and the whole experience was wonderful. He not only offered suggestions for photo ops, but listened to what we hoped for as well. He was patient, professional, and friendly. Throughout the entire process, he asked for our input to make sure we were getting what we wanted. Read more…

I always regarded hiring a wedding videographer as a rather frivolous idea-a vendor only people with extra money to spare would consider hiring. After all, a photographer would be capturing all the special moments in pictures and that was enough for me. Besides, if I really wanted someone to videotape my wedding, I could always ask my Dad.

But then one of my friends hired Alex Tomek from Lumitone Productions for her wedding, and when I saw her video clip a few weeks later, I literally started tearing up (and I don’t cry THAT easily). I didn’t realize that a professionally done video could evoke so many emotions. In the same way that an experienced photographer can capture images that your cousin’s candid snapshots probably can’t, so a professional videographer can film your wedding as a timeless, unforgettable memory.

A wedding is meant to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I realized that sometimes pictures are not enough to remember it by. I want to be able to remember how the sun shone during the ceremony, and how we recited our wedding vows. I want to remember how my Dad looked as he walked me down the aisle, and how the reception went. Everyone tells me the wedding day goes by in a blur, and a video would allow me to relive anything that I missed in the excitement of it all. Plus it’d be great to show our kids in the future (if they were interested).

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Mr. Tomato and I attended such a fun wedding last weekend and I couldn’t wait to post about it! It was creative and borderline cheesy–which doesn’t work for everyone, but really portrayed the newlyweds’ personalities.

The ceremonial music started with the traditional “Air” piece by Bach. Then it smoothly transitioned into the groomsmen processional–Raiders March from Indiana Jones! It was hilarious but well done.

The officiant was witty, and the marriage vows were both touching and entertaining. The groom started off by saying that wedding vows made him think of “a-e-i-o-u: VOWels” (haha) and proceeded to explain what each letter meant (”a” meant “always”, for “I will always love you”).

When he finished, someone strapped a guitar onto the bride, and she started singing her vows to her groom. Unfortunately I don’t remember the words, but she wrote the song herself, and during one stanza, sang that her parents were probably ashamed but he (the groom) has always taught her it’s okay to be cheesy and laugh at herself. Aww.

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I don’t know how many of you out there are writing your own wedding vows, but I came across Elegant Vows today and perused their “Free Wedding Vows Collection.” I found some words in “Vow Three” particularly moving and beautiful….

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is impossible. It is even a disservice to pretend it is possible. Yet that is what most of us demand. We have such little faith in the ebb and flow of life and of love and of relationships.

We leap forward at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb, for we are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity and in freedom, as dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in creating the same pattern.

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Thank you for all the kind compliments you’ve given to my handmade invitations! It almost makes the sweat worth it.

I was able to mail it all with a 39 cent stamp. The reason being, I used a traditional RSVP-sized card for my invitation, and a place card as my RSVP card. I felt the small size would contribute to the intimate theme of the wedding, and it was a lot cheaper too! The only downside is you’re not able to fit as much writing (which is why most of the information is on the wedding website Mr. Tomato and I created from scratch).

I wanted to answer a few questions that came up regarding where my materials came from and how much they cost. Here’s the breakdown:

I purchased the outer envelope, medium vellum envelope and vellum from envelopemall:

Classic Crest 4-3/8 x 5-3/4″, (A2) Envelope 100 Pack, Classic Cream
Price: $11.50

Translucent Clear 3-5/8″ x 5-1/8″ (4Bar) Envelope 100 Pack
Price: $10.50

Translucent Pattern Sheets 8-1/2 x 11″, (30 lb) 100 Pack, Gold Vine on Clear
Price: $18.95

* Shipping costs are reasonable, but it’s dependent on order quantity

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I woke up at 7am this past Saturday, my mind in a whirlpool of wedding programs. I can’t stop thinking about them. Against my will, I’m showing symptoms of being a bridezilla.

Time is ticking, and I still haven’t decided if I want to risk the invitation fiasco and make the programs myself (which may possibly mean I’m doing this until mid-June) or find an economical stationer that will make them for me.

However, I HAVE decided that they need to be wedding program fans, as the wedding is in July and I don’t want my poor guests to faint from the sun. I also don’t want silk fans or palm leaf fans, as I know a lot of the attending men-guests would be embarrassed using such feminine goods. I’ve been scouring the Internet for wedding program fan ideas, and it’s surprisingly limited. Here are some of my favorite designs:

Ceci New York. I love the rippled edge and use of multiple ribbons.

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