Weddingbee Blog

Because Mr T and I didn’t live together pre-wedding, we’re in the midst of all the little transitions couples encounter when moving in together for the first time. Right now we’re celebrating birthdays a few weeks apart, and that seems to have driven home the new lack of privacy.

We haven’t combined finances yet, so it wasn’t hard to hide the actual purchase of Mr T’s gift. But I was napping when FedEx dropped it at our door. And, as hard as he tried not to read the shipping label, the word Roku was written on the box in big, bright letters! A well-designed box, but … element of surprise? Not so much.

And we always get a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cake for our birthdays. So there’s no real surprise there. But is the magic nearly gone if I’ve already handed him the “20% off B&J cakes” coupon that I came across in our latest Val-Pak coupon mailer?
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Unless you give her free reign to pick the dress, let’s face facts. She will NOT wear it again. So if it’s going to be a one-off, why not buy something as inexpensive as possible?

Yesterday Creature Comforts had a feature on when to save and when to splurge for weddings, and her illustration included a bridesmaid dress from Forever21. Brilliant!!

If your ladies can rock a short skirt (the longest of these models is only 33″ from the shoulder, warns the Amazon…), there are some surprisingly great options.

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Weddings, everyone. We’re discussing weddings! Sheesh.

(A wedding party half the size of our entire wedding. Image source)

For Mr T and me, our main purpose in throwing a wedding party was to gather loved ones from our many phases of life (growing up, college, grad school, jobs in various states and countries). It’s probably the only chance we’ll ever have to bring everyone to town at once, and we wanted to take full advantage. But we’re the type with a few close friends as opposed to a massive social circle, and we were conscious of travel expenses for such a scattered group. So, invitations went to around 80 people, with maybe 50 attending.
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You know how people often have a strange talent they’re much too proud of? My personal skill is knowing inexpensive sources for everything. So I’m always a bit horrified to come across a source I’ve never heard of — shakes the whole mental foundation….

Such was my reaction in seeing a Nicole Lee Collection evening bag in a recent issue of Brides. The price they listed was 30-odd dollars. But it’s now on sale for $7.50!

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Wedding toasts by my mother and our BM & MOH … time spent writing them.

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Wedding favors can be a touchy issue. Brides love them, but realistically non-edibles often get tossed out after the wedding. (Whether right away or, if you’re like me, after you’ve kept them for a few months because you feel guilty throwing out a friend’s favor!)

So I was determined that any favors we gave away should be useful. I also wanted to make them, for a personal touch. After discovering dried lavender for sale at Save-on-Crafts, I decided the answer was lavender sachets. They not only leave your clothes smelling lovely, but keep away bugs to boot!
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From the start, I planned to save funds by DIYing our wedding flowers. Martha Stewart’s DVDs, which I checked out from our local library, made it look amazingly easy. But I had nightmares about trying to wire together bouquets on the busy day before the wedding.

So, we went with silk flowers for our bouquets and bouts, purchased months in advance from Save-on-Crafts. And I was quite impressed — they were high quality at excellent prices.

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While Mr T and I were playing model in Old Town Alexandria, a few of the guests were at Teaism decorating for the big party. (Yes, we put our guests to work!!!)

The reception space was spare and modern, so it didn’t require over-the-top decorating. We hung paper lanterns in our wedding colors and scattered Ikea tealights, chocolates, and flowers in small, square dollar-store vases. The wonderful friend who served as Decorator-in-Chief also employed a favorite budget trick that goes a long way — separating a handful of roses into individual petals and scattering them around the tables.

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We didn’t exactly PLAN to have a gap between ceremony and reception on our wedding day. We just booked each venue at the time that worked best … then realized there were about three hours between events.

I was torn about the gap, because I’ve attended weddings where I found in-between-time to be a little annoying. But it was extremely valuable for us because we (by which I mean our guests!) did all the decorating and needed time to work. And because I’m easily tired, it was nice to rest up between events.

But best of all? Our photographer used part of the time to take some amazing portraits of the two of us canoodling on the streets around the ceremony space:

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We have only one ankle biter in our family — Miss Zoe, who takes the title literally. As a herding dog, she likes to nip our heels to propel us forward on walks.

Actual children? Totally foreign! But many of our friends have little ones now, and (once we finally realized “Oh, yeah … kids … some of these people have … kids?”) we chose to include their children in our day of celebration. I know the “kids or no kids” issue can be controversial, but in the end I’m thrilled the little ones shared our wedding day. They are a cherished part of our friends’ lives, after all. And they were so sweetly excited to celebrate with us.

Plus, adorable photos!!!

(My MOH’s oldest son is the sweetest, happiest little boy in the world. When they left the reception, he told me “I love you” in a tiny voice. And my cold, cold heart grew three sizes that day.)
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Immediately after our ceremony and bubble exit, we took group photos. Punam Bean has a documentary style, and we weren’t interested in a ton of traditional shots anyway. But you’ve got to have a few, just to be sure you get everyone together in one photo.

I loved Punam’s style for the wedding party shots. She basically lined us up and said, “Talk amongst yourselves.” I think the results are much more fun than photos with everyone smiling stiffly at the camera, yet more genuine than elaborate poses that aim to show “fun.” It was also quick — about 20 minutes for the wedding party plus 3 families.

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Thanks for all your kind comments on our iPod disaster, everyone! As long as I mentioned my much-obsessed-over playlists, here they are. If they can help anyone else’s song-choice process, maybe they’ll serve some purpose!

But first a story/tip. By now, most everyone knows the standard music advice like “pay attention to the lyrics” (some seemingly romantic songs are actually quite depressing when you listen to the words), and “choose short songs” (you don’t want to be dancing for ever … and ever … and ever). But one that’s often overlooked is to pay special attention to the START of each song.

This is particularly true for key songs like processionals, recessionals, and the first dance. People respond best if the song catches their attention from the start. For example, for our recessional, we considered “So Happy Together,” by the Turtles. But there’s a whole verse before it hits the happy, uplifting chorus. By then we would have been down the short aisle and gone.
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In light of Miss Pineapple’s recent post on iPod wedding music, it’s time to share the tale of our biggest wedding disaster:

Because we had a budget wedding, and because I’m so picky about music that I couldn’t leave our playlist in anyone else’s hands, an iPod wedding sounded perfect. We had only around 50 guests, so we didn’t anticipate any trouble broadcasting to the dancefloor with a good set of speakers. (For a fancier sound-system set-up, check here.) I separated our pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, and dance playlists and set them to run in order so there would be no worry about choosing songs. We asked Mr T’s brother to serve as emcee so there’d be someone to provide introductions and transitions and move things along when necessary. And, in addition to loading the playlists on my iPod, I burned copies on CD and we loaded extra copies onto Mr T’s computer. Just in case!

(Mr T tries desperately to fix the iPod)
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In fact, I’ve rarely been described as “bubbly;” I’m actually quite shy. But if there’s one thing I never outgrew, it’s a love of blowing bubbles. So, when my parents helped brainstorm something to throw for our big post-ceremony exit, they had me at “bubbles!”

Small bottles of wedding bubbles are readily available at crafts stores like Michaels or on the Internet. We went for the plain version (no doves or wedding cakes or whatnot) and piled them into a handled basket that I spray-painted white for the occasion.

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As mentioned before, I am a Baha’i. Mr. T leans Unitarian but doesn’t actively practice. And our ceremony was officiated by my father, who’s ordained in the Community of Christ. As with most “mixed” marriages, this raised questions about how to structure our wedding ceremony to meet everyone’s needs.

(The 9-pointed-star lantern from my previous post, in action at the reception)
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