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I never thought I’d care that much about bridal jewelry. To me, “bridal jewelry” meant boring, thin chains with tiny gems or pearls attached—the kind of necklaces and earrings that you can’t even see from afar. I’m a tacky person (and I mean that in the best way possible), so traditional bridal jewelry just wasn’t doing it for me. I wanted something big and bold. Something that made a statement. And that statement would be “I’m tacky and I’m proud.” Not that the ol’ ball ‘n’ chain reads this tripe anymore, but just in case:
And by “dress pics” I mean “necklace pics.”
Back in the day, when I still thought bridal jewelry looked like this:
My MOH/former college roommate visited me this weekend and we did a bunch of girly, wedding-related frivolity. First we had conveyor belt sushi and tackled a Martha Stewart paper flower tutorial while we watched Lifetime movies and drank Franzia. Basically, it was my ideal night. I’ll share more about the flowers later!
On Saturday, we went out in search of bridesmaids’ dresses along with another one of my bridesmaids. I haven’t written about bridesmaids’ dresses yet, so lest you think I really am letting The Knot’s wedding timeline get the best of me, I would like to tell you that I’ve been searching for bridesmaids’ dresses since last summer. I decided I wanted the girls to wear yellow dresses, and after Google image searching/pinteresting the hell out of yellow dresses, I came to the decision that they could all be mismatched and just find their own dresses. I was at my wits’ end and was about ready to force this upon them:
Image via eBay
You know I like to complain, so I’ll give you some more back story later about why I was at my wits’ end.
Read more…
Yes, the title of this post is a nod to Fat Bastard’s insightful line “Babbeh, the other other white meat.” Too gross? Poor taste?
There’s been a lot of talk on Weddingbee about “other” wedding dresses, meaning the dress you wear to your rehearsal dinner, shower, and/or bachelorette party. In fact, it was Weddingbee that introduced me to the concept of wearing a white dress to all wedding events (not that I needed to be introduced to the concept of wearing certain colors, but you get what I mean).
I’m so grateful to the bees who blazed the wearing-white-to-other-wedding-events trail before me. That was sarcastic actually. If I hadn’t decided I needed a new white dress for every event, I’d be a lot better off, I imagine. I want my money and naïveté back! And my closet space too. For those of you who haven’t considered the fact that you have to wear white to all wedding events because you’re the friggin’ bride I apologize for giving you the idea now.
I decided to make a dress to wear to my shower (possibly both showers) because it would be “cheaper” and I could “make it look however I wanted.” I seem to have forgotten that buying fabric is rarely cheaper than just buying a Forever 21 dress. I also seem to have forgotten that I suck at sewing, so it’s literally impossible for me to make it look however I want. But I did my best!
Personal pic
I promise you I’m not wearing opaque white tights. That’s my real leg color…
Featured on Weddingbee
Spring Wedding Favors
“Embrace the season with wedding favors that are perfectly suited for spring! Adorable AND affordable.”
…to my to do list! (Sing the title of this post to the tune of that little ditty by Britney Spears. You know the one.)
I mentioned earlier that I’ve rediscovered my dependency on checklists. I blame The Knot for rekindling my love affair via their comprehensive checklist tool, featuring over 160 things to do. Which is conveniently located next to the huge, glaring countdown to my wedding day, which to me reads more like “You only have 143 days to get all this shit done, fool! I will own you!”
Screenshot via The Knot
How is it even possible that I’ve only completed one third of my tasks? How??
Ever since I saw Fiddler on the Roof, I can’t hear the word “traditions” without singing it. Twice. Traditions are important to me. My family always laughs at me for wanting Christmas to be the exact same every year. In fact, I like to do the same thing year after year for all holidays. I feel anxious if birthdays, vacations, visits with friends, and other yearly occurrences aren’t the exact same every year. There is definitely something comforting in knowing what to expect year after year.
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
The Dollar Dance, AKA Money Dance, is a tradition that some people love, some people hate, and some people have never heard of. It’s when the bride and groom prostitute themselves as dance partners to their guests in exchange for dollars.
Personal pic
I wasn’t sure which pics would go with this post, so I just chose a bunch of the Unicycles dancing!
You’re supposed to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom for a small amount of time, and the best man and maid of honor collect the money and let guests know when it’s their turn and when their turn is up. The tradition originated in Poland according to Wikipedia, and the money is supposed to go toward the couple’s honeymoon. Neither of us is even a little Polish, but I still find this tradition intriguing.
We’re having an open bar at our wedding. That’s just the way it has to go. Too many of our guests are looking forward to gratis drinkage. I’m not planning on getting drunk at our wedding reception because I want to remember all the details as much as I can, and because I’ll probably be so high on life I won’t need any alcohol. (I’m getting bad flashbacks to high school health class now.) Mr. Unicycle won’t get drunk because he’s not big into drinking. But our guests? I hope they’re completely shit-faced. However, just because we’re having an open bar doesn’t mean we can’t have signature cocktails, right?
I love the idea of offering a signature cocktail or two because it gives guests an idea of what they can order at the bar. I personally am always at a loss for what to order at a bar. I’ll drink pretty much anything besides beer, but I don’t know enough about bartending to know what to ask for. Enter the signature cocktail! I wanted Mr. Unicycle and me to each have our own signature cocktail to offer as another way of infusing our personalities into the wedding. His favorite liquor is rum, so he immediately chose a rum old fashioned as his drink.
Image via Drink of the Week
An old fashioned is basically just liquor with bitters and sugar, plus myriad garnishes. I friggin’ love garnishes, by the way. Mr. Unicycle is a classy dude, and this drink fits right in with our retro theme.
I trust my photographer to get all the major “must-have” wedding pictures for me—the bride getting ready, the bride and groom saying their vows, the best man’s speech, etc. I also trust that she’ll be good at getting everyone in natural looking poses. She did a great job at alleviating my anxiety and awkwardness during the engagement session by giving us poses to try and tweaking them when we looked awkward. This is essential in a photographer, because sometimes you think you look great/cute/hilarious/adorable in a photo, but really you just look strange.
Personal pic
When we posed for this, I thought it looked cute. But seeing the picture, I am confused at the angles. What, exactly, is going on here?
Napkins are boring. Usually. All you really need from a napkin is the ability to wipe the food from your face after your gluttonously feast on whatever food is given to you. I would personally be lost without napkins because I’m the messiest eater ever (statistically, that’s probably not true). But who really cares how napkins look? Martha Stewart does.
Image via Martha Stewart Weddings
I found this picture back in 2009 when our wedding was but a twinkle in Mr. Unicycle’s eye.
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A while ago, I purchased four pairs of shoes from Zappos, tried them all on, felt like Goldilocks/a bridezilla, asked the hive for your opinions, then got my account info stolen. Maybe. I was torn between the pink RSVP Raina shoes, which were uncomfortable but had a great color, the yellow Nina Electras, which were more comfortable but weren’t pink, and searching for a different pair altogether. Here’s what I had already:
Pics on the left from my very own camera. Images on the right via Zappos and Zappos.
I also had two other pairs that I didn’t like very much. I included a poll in my original post asking your opinion on what to do (first world probs fosho). More than half of you suggested I go with the pink shoes, while only 10% encouraged me to keep looking. So what did I do? I kept looking. Sorry guys!
I searched high and low and wound up finding these on Amazon during their Black Friday sale:
When I was born in 1988, I wonder if my parents thought about what my wedding day would be like, who I would end up marrying, and what it would be like when I got married. Did they picture me in a shoulder-padded wedding dress, dancing to Def Leppard? I assume they never could have dreamed up dubstep or T-Pain in their wildest dreams. Weddings in 1988 were a lot different than weddings in 2012. And now for a trip down memory lane…
Image via Zazzle
Mr. Unicycle and I had our first meeting with our priest this weekend, and as we got closer the appointment time, I got more and more nervous. I’d heard horror stories about priests separating the couple and asking them questions in separate rooms (the ol’ divide and conquer!), making them sign a document promising never to use birth control, and badgering them about how often they attend church. I was basically shitting bricks rocks.
Image via IMDB
I’m not sure why I was so nervous. We’re basically moral/ethical people. We’re “pure” for all intents and purposes (and that’s the last I’ll say on that topic…), we don’t live together, we’ve never been married before, and neither of us are atheists. But yet, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I’m not devout enough to get married in a church.
Let me back up: I’m a former Catholic school girl.
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I’m gonna get real again. But this time I’m not going to complain about my weight as I shove chocolate chips into my gaping mouf. This time, I’m talking about The Dark Side of Proposals. Sounds scary, right?
I read this post about weird feelings that come with the proposal on Glamour’s wedding blog a few weeks ago, and it struck a chord for me. The gist of the post is that proposals can be kind of awkward, even if you’re overjoyed by the proposal, the person asking, and the prospect of marrying them. Even if the proposal is well thought out, romantic, and beautiful (like mine totally was!), it can feel kind of awkward.
When I pictured Mr. Unicycle putting a ring on it, I think I imagined everything moving in slow motion while something composed by John Williams played in the background. I pictured Mr. Unicyle saying something inaudible to me (the music would play over the audio so the screenwriter wouldn’t have to come up with something actually heartwarming to have him say) while tears welled up in my eyes (sans running mascara). I’d hold my hand over my mouth while he whispered sweet nothings, he’d ask, I’d nod yes, he’d slip the ring on my finger (without any struggle at the knuckle area), and we’d embrace. The scene would fade out while the music swelled. Roll credits.
Back in October, I was furiously collecting inspiration for all of the little wedding details that would turn “Our Day” into “Our Special Day.” One of those details was the guest book. I always assumed we’d have a nontraditional guest book because I read so much Weddingbee/Martha Stewart and go on Pinterest so much, and I had seen so many cute ideas for interactive guest books. I love the idea of getting guests to write us little messages, which is why we’ll definitely be doing Mad Libs style RSVP cards (sound good, Mr. Unicycle?).
Image via The Knot / Photo by Jenna Walker Photography
And I’m hoping to make speech bubble props for our photo booth, a la Ms. Ferris Wheel so guests can leave us a message there too.
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Miss Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.
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