Well, my recaps are done, and I can’t think of any other posts to write. So, I guess my time at Weddingbee is over. All right, see ya, hive! It’s been real!
Just kidding, I think you deserve more of a good-bye than that. Which is to say, I’d like to write a few more paragraphs. You know, milk it for all it’s worth.
In an attempt to be helpful and share my infinite wedding-planning knowledge with brides who haven’t yet reached The Other Side, I decided to put together a list of sources for all sorts of wedding-y things that I discovered when I was planning. Consider this my Weddingbee dissertation. Actually, consider this my bibliography.
Vendors: If you’re not in the Chicagoland area, this probably won’t be helpful.
Image via Jennifer Shaffer Photography
You know how celebrities always say they were nerds in high school, but what they really mean is they got good grades and participated in school sponsored activities, and probably got lightly teased by their friends for not being bad at math? Like Cady Heron basically. That’s not me. I wasn’t a fake nerd. But I also wasn’t a real nerd, either. (Sticking with the Mean Girls analogy, I wasn’t a “sexually active band geek,” though at my school it was more like “sexually active Model U.N. kids” because I swear those people went through every permutation of coupling imaginable.) I got good grades and took AP classes and all that jazz, but I wasn’t nerdy enough (or cool enough?) to be friends with the actual nerds.
Starting high school was kind of a shock to me. I had graduated eighth grade with a class of 25 and entered high school with a class of over 700. I was extremely, painfully shy and uncomfortable in my own skin, and I was hesitant to talk to people unless they reached out to me first. Actually, some vestiges of that personality still remain. Just last week, someone told me they were shocked by my blogging voice because it didn’t fit with my shy personality. So you guys get the real me, I guess 
But let’s be real here, I looked like this. And that was me after a slumber party makeover. And after I’d discovered the straightening iron.
Dating:
I was too awkward to talk to boys in high school, let alone go to dances with them, let alone date them. My core group of friends were all too scared to talk to boys. I literally talked to like five boys during my time in high school, and none of them were actual friends. I went to one homecoming dance with a group of girls, and then some friends awkwardly arranged my date for prom senior year.
Before the wedding, I bordered on obsessive over capturing our guests’ advice and comments. I saved all of my shower and wedding cards, requested advice in our RSVPs, and made fill-in-the-blank guestbook pages for guests to draw on and, yes, provide advice.
Personal pic of my grandma’s approval of Mr. Unicycle. For the record, he’s not quite a doctor yet.
The guestbook pages and colored pencils were set up in the back corner of the room, and unfortunately the majority of our guests didn’t see them. The ones we did get, however, were great. And here are three artsy shots of the setup, because why not?
Want to copy our wedding playlists? Well, you’re in luck, because I’m about to share them with you, from the beginning of the day to the end.
Getting ready:
I thought I would make a playlist for this since I planned out every single other godforsaken detail of the day, but I ended up just switching on my ’90s Pandora station. Needless to say, NSYNC and Britney were played.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
Probably rocking out to Michael Jackson or something.
Ceremony Prelude:
I asked the church pianist ahead of time if he could play instrumental versions of some secular songs. He said yes, as long as he could find the sheet music. I sent him a list of six songs, and he responded that he was able to play three, and unable to find the sheet music for two. If you’ve been following along with the math, you’ll realize that leaves one mystery song. So I’m not sure which three songs he was able to play or which he actually played, but these are the four that he wasn’t not able to play:
Again, since I was busy freaking out in the church basement and vestibule, I have no clue what was actually played. I’m sure our guests enjoyed/didn’t listen to whatever it was, though.
Even though my recaps are dunzo, and I’ve probably overstayed my welcome here, I do have a few posts left to share with you guys. By far, my most popular post according to Pinterest is the 10 Wedding Photos I Need post. It caused a bit of controversy in the comments, but my photographer seemed very grateful for the guidance. I wanted to show you how the vision compared to the reality:
1) The groom’s reaction as the bride walks down the aisle:
Inspiration:
Image via Danielle Hartland Graphic Design and Photography
Reality:
Our limo dropped us off at the hotel after the wedding, the same hotel where Mr. Unicycle and the guys had taken photos earlier that day. Our room was tricked out with its own kitchen and living room! I later found out that my aunt had called and upgraded us to a suite. She also sent along chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne.
Photo via Renaissance Schaumburg
After the last song ended, the DJ basically kicked everyone out. We had planned a magical sparkler exit that would look something like this:
Image via National Geographic / Photo by Ruth Ritter
Since the guests all had to get downstairs and outside, then line up with a lit sparkler, we figured we had time for a private last dance. I didn’t count on our guests suffering from drunk deafness, though. To this day, people tell me how confused they were about pretty much everything I had the DJ announce.
“I didn’t know that was the last song!”
“Suddenly people were just leaving!”
“When did the photo booth officially open?”
“I wish I had known you had a guestbook.”
It’s been over a year since I wrote this post about our last dance song. In case you’ve been in suspense since last March, we decided to use the song, but we had our DJ edit out the awkward beginning because Mr. Unicycle didn’t like the lyrics, and I didn’t like the tempo anyway.
Let me tell you, this may have been the second best wedding decision I made (the first being the groom). I know I raved about our candy buffet, our photographer, our photobooth, and pretty much everything else, but this song was the best part of our reception. Allow me to set the scene.
We’re on the dance floor cutting a rug. The night is wearing on; our guests are wearing drops of alcohol that missed their mouths. Friends from high school are gyrating with friends from college. Our parents’ friends are getting drinks with our friends. My bridesmaids are blacked out. Everyone’s having the time of their lives.
The song ends, and the DJ announces that it’s the last song of the night. Cue fun. Everyone cheers in recognition, and I quickly grab the people closest to me to begin the shoulder-to-shoulder sway. (I wanted nothing more than to dance in the middle of a giant shoulder-to-shoulder sway circle, but I knew I had to make it happen myself. As Billy Zane said, “I make my own luck.”)
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
Don’t let the order of my recaps fool you—we did not do all the fast dances at the beginning of the night and all the slow dances at the end. That would be weird. It might have worked out better for some our single guests who had deadlines to meet and goals to achieve, #ifyaknowwhatimean, but in reality, the slow songs were artfully interspersed throughout the playlist by our DJ.
We had requested a few slow songs ahead of time, but this next photo was during a guest request. Toward the end of the night, the DJ played “My Best Friend,” by Tim McGraw. I had never actually heard this song before, but in that moment—dancing with my new husband, surrounded by everyone I love, realizing that the day was almost over—the song was the most romantic thing I’d ever heard.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
I rested my head on his shoulder and meditated on the fact that he was my best friend, and I’d be waking up next to him every morning for the rest of my life (okay, I’ll be honest, I misheard the lyrics and thought he was saying “Good morning, lover,” not “You’re more than a lover.” But still, I do wake up next to him every morning). I loved this song so much that we used it in our wedding video (though it has since been removed from the online version for copyright).
I was adamant about having a photo booth (or faux-to booth, if we’re being honest with ourselves) at our wedding. I wanted people to think our wedding was fun, and photo booths are just about the most fun thing ever. I also selfishly wanted to see all the hilarious photos after the wedding was over.
For props, I printed out the photo booth props sets from Oh Happy Day, picking and choosing which to use. For instance, the Batman mask and Princess Beatrice’s wedding hat were definite musts. The Native American headdress and mustaches (per Mr. U’s request) were omitted. He claimed to not want any mustaches on sticks at his wedding because they were too hipster. I argue that he didn’t want them because they’ve become passé, which actually makes him a hipster himself. Or something. Either way, mustaches on sticks were not invited to our photo booth. But Batman was one of the most popular props.
Photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
We did the bouquet and garter tosses back-to-back, toward the end of the night. These tosses weren’t just accidental happenings—they were premeditated! I had written them into the schedule for the night (which was distributed to all wedding party VIPs and vendors), plus I crafted a garter and bought a mini bouquet specifically for the tosses. We even picked special songs to use. We were serious about the task of tossing.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
I chose No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” for the bouquet toss because:
By far, my most controversial Weddingbee post was about whether or not to do a dollar dance. I personally don’t get why it’s that controversial. I get that some people are insulted by the bride and groom “asking for money,” but the way I see it, it’s like paying a penny or a nickel to make a wish in a fountain: a dollar in today’s economy is just really not that much. You can’t even get a Redbox rental for a dollar anymore.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
According to smart people, the value of a dollar decreases by 50% every 24 years or so, and according to Martha Stewart, the dollar dance has existed since at least 1912, which means the value of each dollar I received was approximately six cents of what it was originally.
The majority of the reception was a series of poorly executed, sweaty dance moves amid a backdrop of Top 40 hits. Our dance floor was pretty packed from the very beginning of the night (except for some reason during Michael Jackson’s “PYT.” I personally think that song is unrivaled in its catchiness, but only Mr. Unicycle and I danced to it. We also featured it in our video—that’s how much I love those dope beatz).
But save for that one song, the dance floor was full of awkward limb movements, inappropriate booty shaking, and the white man overbite the rest of the night.
Image via Funny or Die
And now for the sentimental part of the night: We dance with our parents. Well, not all of our parents. I danced with my dad and he danced with his mom. My mom and his dad were SOL.
I let my dad pick our song, and he ended up picking the one I had in mind, which made for an adorable blog post. The song he chose was “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. (Side brag: We’re going to see Fleetwood Mac in April!!)
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
I love how the wedding party is totally not paying attention in the background of every picture. They’re totally oblivious to the precious memories being made in their very midst! On the right side, you can see one groomsman filling out our guestbook.
Mrs. Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.
