I hope you all will forgive my absence, but it has been a rather emotional and stressful month. However, you readers have been so great to me that I feel you deserve some sort of explanation.
Soon after the New Year, Mr. Fondue expressed some concerns with our relationship. He had been acting moody, which I thought was due to holiday stress at his job plus quitting smoking, but, as it turns out, was mostly due to wondering if we were doing the right thing by getting married.
I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but we had a long, drawn out, emotional talk until 4:00 AM one night. He felt our relationship was stagnant and predictable; he said he grows more bored with it every day and misses the excitement of dating. He feels that, while he loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me, he would eventually end up cheating on me. You can imagine my shock and heartbreak—being told by your fiance that he’s not sure he wants to marry you because he knows you too well and doesn’t feel he is mature enough—is not something I would want anyone to go through.
I immediately made an appointment for counseling.
I would love to tell you that counseling solved everything and we are back on track, but Mr. Fondue, while willing to go (because he knew it was important to me), was resistant for it to help. So, we have called off the wedding. Writing that was really hard. I don’t know if it would have helped for him to have told me he was feeling like this sooner (he’d apparently been feeling that way for some time but hid it from me), but I suspect that he would have been more open to counseling, as he had quite made up his mind by the time he finally said anything to me.
I just wanted to remind you all how important open communication is and how important it is to prepare for the marriage itself, without getting too caught up in the wedding plans. I have a few projects that I haven’t posted about yet that I may in the future, as my main desire to blog for Weddingbee was to hopefully inspire some of you as the site always had done for me. I wish I could have shown you all the final results of all my planning, but a healthy marriage is far more important than the wedding day, and I’m afraid that’s something we can’t have at this point in our lives. I wish you all the best of luck!